Holding On (A Dark JA Short Story)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Eryce, Apr 20, 2000.

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  1. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Eryce BRAVO!!!!! I am sitting here with tears running down my face. The images you have created are so powerful.

    The scene with Qui-Gon listening to Obi-Wans heart beat just about killed me. When a friend of mines baby died a few years ago I sat by my little boys bed that night for hours and just watched him breath and cried so I could feel that scene very deeply. This entire story was so beautifully written!!!

    I am however sad to see this story end, promise you will write another!!!!

  2. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    I thought the ending needed a little something. And i was in a sentimental
    mood this morning... So, I thought.. what the heck..

    ***
    Epilogue

    This was definitely not his day. First, he had to wake up with a tube down his throat. Then, Bant had to go and?.

    ***

    "Obi? You're awake?" His best friend's face suddenly appeared inches away from his own.

    "Bant?"

    "Yes.. you feeling okay?" A gentle hand brushed his arm.

    "Yes, Bant." Couldn't people stop asking him that question?

    "Nothing hurts anywhere?" Almost anxiously.

    "No, Bant."

    "Good. Then, I can do this.."

    *Slap*

    "Ow! What was that for?"

    "That was for scaring me out of my life." Her eyes were gleaming like newly sharpened knives. "And this?" He cowered back as she moved a little closer to him?

    /Eeep. Master, save me!/

    /Oh no. It's not my place to come between best friends?./ *snicker*

    ".. and this.." Bant pulled him into a tight embrace, then planted a kiss on his cheeks. "..this.. is for being the best friend a girl can ever ask for. Thank you for saving my life."

    /Phew!/

    "You're welcome, Bant."

    /Knew she wouldn't hurt me./ Grinning smugly until she socked him in the arm. /Oof!/

    "Bant!!!!"

    "Just don't ever do that again!"

    /I couldn't have said it better myself, Padawan./

    ***

    "But I don't want to take another nap! I want to go home!"

    Qui-Gon looked fondly at the young man pouting at him. It was certainly good to have things back to normal.

    "Now, Padawan. You know what An-Paj said. One more night here for observation and then, you can come home."

    "I'm feeling fine, NOW! All I do here is sleep anyway. Why can't I do that back in my room?"

    "Enough, Padawan. You'll be back tomorrow."

    "But, Master?" The boy's voice has taken a definite whining quality.

    "Padawan?" The Master raised an eyebrow. "Sleep. Now."

    Uh -uh. Qui-Gon was using that tone of voice which must be obeyed. Grumbling a little, Obi-Wan obediently snuggled under the covers.

    "It isn't all that bad, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon pulled his Padawan into his arms and planted a loving kiss on the top of Obi-Wan's head. "You'll be able to convince the Healers you're okay and it'll certainly put my worries to rest."

    "You're just afraid of what the Healers might do to you the next time you end up here," Obi-Wan sulked, his voice muffled as he buried his face against Qui-Gon's tunic.
    /That too./ Qui-Gon couldn't help smiling against Obi-Wan's hair. How he loved this boy in his arms. If only he could tell him that?

    "Obi-Wan?"

    "Hmm? yes, Master?" The boy sounded sleepy and contented.

    "I-I.. I mean.. you.. No, what I mean is.. I.." Sigh. Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master, Master Diplomat?. defeated by 3 simple words. He took a deep breath. He would tell the boy. Obi-Wan deserved to know.

    "Master?" Puzzled tone.

    "I just wanted to tell you that you've been the best apprentice I could ever ask for. Ever. And I know I've never shown it much but I'm so proud of you." Qui-Gon babbled on. Sith, just 3 little words. Was it so hard to say? "And .. and.."

    "Master." Qui-Gon screeched to a halt and looked enquiringly at his apprentice. "I know. You don't have to say it. You show me everyday." Suddenly, there was this lump in his throat. He knows?

    "Obi-Wan?" He caught a glimpse of bright eyes filled with emotion that took his breath away before Obi-Wan snuggled even closer. Automatically, his arms tightened around his Padawan, savoring the feel of the warm body against his. The boy's next words just took his breath away.

    "I love you too."

    Qui-Gon smiled, fighting back the tears. Some things are better spoken without words.

    THE END

    ***
  3. light_sabe_r Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    That is definitely one of my most favourite stories, ever!

    Bravo!
  4. JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 13, 2000
    star 5
    I just realized I hadn't posted on this WONDERFUL story. It was very touching Eryce.
    I loved the way you wrote it.

  5. Kim-kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 1999
    star 3
    I love reading this over and over again.

    Kim B
  6. Kitster aka Boba Fett Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 2
    Im planning on starting the choreography for my fan film soon and I need some help. Clay Kronke told me in an e-mail (a long time ago) that he worked out the choreography from rehearsal footage of Ray Park and Andreas Petride (?). Anyone know where I can find this footage? Clay?
  7. Saeed Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2000
    star 3
    You were actually e-mailed by the Legendary Clay Kronke? WOW!

    Saeed TTC

    (sorry this wasn't any help to you...)

    [This message has been edited by Saeed (edited 05-29-2000).]
  8. Zayn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 1999
    star 3
    LOL!

    it think that you can find some stuff on starwars.com - I beleave (dont beat me if im worng) that there is some footage of them fighting under that diary thing they had going for a while- im sure it's still there some were...
  9. Kitster aka Boba Fett Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 2
    well I e-mailed Clay for some advice for software and choreography and all this stuff.
  10. Ejan Jerthrid Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 1, 1999
    star 2
    Legendary? Don't I wish...

    I got the footage from the TPM Insider's Guide CDROM. There's a nice behind the scenes section with lots of footage, including a couple of choice clips of Ray Park and Andreas Petrides rehearsing saber sequences.

    Then there's the clips on SW.com in the Lynne's Diary section on the choreography (part 6). But I don't know if that's back up yet or not.

    [This message has been edited by Ejan Jerthrid (edited 05-29-2000).]
  11. Kitster aka Boba Fett Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 2
    i went there and found it but it said that the footage was coming soon.
  12. Saeed Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2000
    star 3
    Ejan Jerthrid - YOU'RE Clay Kronke ?!?

    (Short pause while Saeeds faints, then comes to and continues typing..)

    Sorry, I'm pretty new around here. Get filming the other chapters from 'The New World' - the public awaits...

    "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy..."

    Hey, I just noticed my name on the news section - please excuse me...

    Saeed TTC
  13. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    I'm trying to keep this thread from being closed............ something about deleting all threads that have not been updated in 2 months?
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