Holes In The Floor of Heaven (slighty AU for JA)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Angel5000, Jul 19, 2001.

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  1. Angel5000 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2001
    star 4
    Okay, I'm a little self-conscious about the stories I write. My mom thinks I'm...um... weird... by what I write - and my dad does a little too. So far the only one at home that I can talk to about them is my sister.

    So, let me know if this really stinks and I should throw it away, or keep going.

    * * * * *

    Title:Holes in The Floor Of Heaven

    Author: Angel5000

    Archive: Please ask first (slash and smut dedicated sites need not apply).

    Feedback: Please!

    Rating: PG - or PG-13 at the most (for some of the memories...nothing bad)

    Disclaimer: The Star Wars universe, and its characters belong to George Lucas. The only character that I made up is Healer Kemmerick By writing this story I did not mean to break any copyright rules or anything like that. This is just written in fun.

    I don't know who owns the song HOLES IN THE FLOOR OF HEAVEN but it isn't me I take no credit for it (though I wish I could).

    Summary: It's Obi-Wan's 15th Birthday. As he goes through the birthday meditation ritual with Qui-Gon something goes terribly, terribly wrong....

    WARNING: There is a small section in this story where Qui-Gon remembers back to a time when he had to punish Obi using corporal punishment. If that bothers you either 1) don?t read the story or 2) skip Qui-Gon's memory - he only has one in this story anyway. Also, I will be posting a warning at the beginning of the post with that memory.

    Warning2: This has some severe angst in it (at least that was what I was going for) so if that bothers you it may be best if you don't read this.

    -- -- Denotes word from the song
    // // denotes personal thoughts
    ^ ^ denotes telepathic thoughts
    * * denotes italicized words
    / / denotes words being spoken to Obi-Wan in his mind (by an unknown source).

    * * * *

    --One day shy of 8 years old --
    --My grandma passed away --
    --I was a broken hearted little boy --
    --Blowin' out that birthday cake--

    Obi-Wan sat in his room waiting for his Master to return so that they could go through the birthday meditation ritual. Qui-Gon was with the Master Yoda. The two of them got together often, sometimes to discuss problems, and other times just to talk. Either way, they could be found sitting together in the Room of A Thousand fountain at least once a week. The Padawan was looking forward to the meditation more than usual. The birthday meditation ritual wasn't like other meditating. It was easier to meditate with his Master there with him, than it was by himself.

    Qui-Gon walked into the room. "Are you ready Padawan?" He asked. It was very unusual for Obi-Wan to be ready for meditation. Usually his Padawan detested it.

    "Yes Master. I'm ready." //I've been ready for the last hour. // He thought to himself.

    Together, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon knelt on the floor facing each other and began the meditation. They began to bring up memories, both good and bad, from the previous year, remembering them fully. More than once Obi-Wan winced, as a memory came up that he had tried quite often to forget.

    Qui-Gon wanted to block the memories
    that were hurting his Padawan, he wanted to stop them from coming at all but he knew he mustn't. His job in this meditation was to bring up the memories, not to block them. He had to help Obi-Wan find every memory that he had of the preceding year, no matter how faint or how recent, how painful or pleasant they were. After they found the memories Obi-Wan had to study them, in a sense relive them. He would see where he made his mistakes and learn from them.

    Qui-Gon frowned, there was a part of his mind that Obi-Wan seemed to be reluctant to search. Reaching in with the Force Qui-Gon started to pull up the memories that Obi-Wan was harboring. Almost immediately the boy?s guards went up. Ahh, so there was something there that either the boy was hiding or was purposely avoiding.

    ^Lower your guards Padawan^, Qui-Gon said gently, ^you m
  2. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Don't apologize for you love of SW. You've found the perfect place to bask in it with others of all ages as obessed as you.

    Welcome Angel5000!! :) :)

    Intriguing. I thought it amusing that Obi-Wan would be looking forward to meditating this time and his thought of //I've been ready for the last hour. // had me chuckling.

    Good start, I look forward to more.

    Post often, post soon.
  3. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    Hmmm..i think I've read this somewhere before! But never hurts to read again! Nice beginning!
  4. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    LOL! If it makes you feel better, my family thinks I'm weird too. But as others have said, you're pretty normal around here.

    Well written thus far. Looking forward to more. The ritual described is much in keeping from what we have heard from the JA stories so far, and I am interested to see what else you have planned here.

    Keep it up! --AWK
  5. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    OK now you really have to post more. oh and what is corporal punishment?
  6. Alli-Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 21, 1999
    star 3
    As far as I know the definition, "corporal punishment" is the practice of punishing by physical means, such as spanking.
  7. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
  8. p_stotts Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    Seems familiar to me, too...but, still very good. Keep going Angel5000. I'm interested in finding out what happens next. :)
  9. padmemicheline Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 28, 2000
    star 3
    It was a very good start and this story seems interesting. Keep going with the good work!

    And in case you're wondering, the song is sung by Steve Wariner, so I would think he owns the song (to a degree).
  10. Obi-wan's Padawan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2000
    star 1
    This is an interesting story. I am looking forward to seeing what you have planned for Obi.

    I love the song Holes In The Floor of Heaven. By the way, Steve Wariner also co-wrote the song.

  11. ThatJediGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2001
    star 4
    Hmmm, nice beginning! I think I will like reading this! I have absolutely no clue of what will happen next. Up :)
  12. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Great Post!?!?!?! You know Stephen Kings parents probably thought his writing wasn't that great,but look at him now.Write what you want?!?!?!?PEACE HURRY WITH ANOTHER POST!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
  13. Stranded in space Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2000
    star 4
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! What's Wrong With Obi?????
  14. Angel5000 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2001
    star 4
    Wow! I did NOT expect to actually get responses to this story!! Wow! Total eye opener!!

    Yes - corporal punishment is punishing by physical means - spankings and such... there will be a warning at hte beginning of that memory post.

    Thanks for letting me know who sings it. I LOVE this song. :)

    Ready for the next post? It's short...hope you don't mind... Here it is:

    * * * * *

    --How I cried when the sky let go --
    --With a cold and lonesome rain --
    --Mamma smiled and said don't be sad, child --
    --Grandma's watchin' you today--

    Qui-Gon jumped up and hurried over to his young Apprentice. The boy was in a heap, his body racked with sobs. //What happened? What had caused the boy to break their connection so abruptly and collapse on the floor like that? If only I had known what those memories were! If only I had known... // Qui-Gon scolded himself as he did his best to soothe the teenager. Gently the Master pulled the boy into his arms and carried him to his bed. As Qui-Gon sat beside his Padawan, rubbing his back slowly, he sent calming thoughts to him but they didn't seem to be working. It was as though their bond was completely gone.

    Reaching out, tentatively with the Force Qui-Gon suddenly realized with a start that he could not reach Obi-Wan. The boy had blocked all entrances to his mind, whether willingly or not, Qui-Gon didn't know yet, but obviously Obi-Wan was in an emotional state that was more serious than he had thought. //Had Cerasi's death really had that big of an impact on the boy? Was there some emotional or mental damage that had occurred from watching his friend?s death? //

    "I'm so sorry Obi-Wan, I'm so sorry that I made you relive those memories, I'm so sorry, so very sorry..." Qui-Gon said, over and over, trying to make the boy understand. But although Obi-Wan was right beside him, nothing Qui-Gon said seemed to reach him, and if he heard it he didn't seem to be able to comprehend it. Instead he just lay there, shaking, sobbing, and mumbling. The memories played over and over in his head, and there was nothing he could do to stop them....

    --Cause there's holes in the floor of heaven --
    --And her tears are pourin' down --
    --That's how you know she's watchin' --
    --Wishin' she could be here now--

    Obi-Wan felt pain worse than any other pain he'd felt before in his life. The memories seemed to be tearing at his heart and soul, doing their best to devour and destroy him. //STOP! Please make it stop! // He screamed silently, over and over again. He tried to stop them himself but it was exhausting him. The extreme torture would stop for a few minutes but the moment he let his guard down they would be back, haunting him, tormenting him. Showing him over and over again that he had failed to save Ceresi, he had failed to save her, he had failed....

    * * * * *

    well... what do you think?
  15. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
  16. p_stotts Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    Oh, very, very good! *clap, clap, clap* More, more, more! :D
  17. ThatJediGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2001
    star 4
    I know the song that you use in the story! And this is sad. Sad sad sad, but it's good :)
  18. Angel5000 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2001
    star 4
    Really? It's making you cry?

    *grin* Just what I was hoping!!

    LoL

    Well, I'm leaving on vacation this friday (the 27th) and I'm trying to decide whether or not I should post before I leave... or if I should wait until I get back (it'll be August 5th when I get back).

    What do ya'll think?

    *ducks objects being thrown* ;)
  19. p_stotts Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    Do you even have to ask?
  20. ThatJediGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2001
    star 4
  21. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
  22. Obi-wan's Padawan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2000
    star 1
    Please post!! This is a great story!
  23. Angel5000 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2001
    star 4
    A long post? A LONG post? You want me to make a LONG post??

    LOL

    I'll do my best guys... I'm so glad you all are liking this story. I was afraid that people wouldn't like it at all!!
  24. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Up! :D

    See Angel, everyone LOVES this one! *sniffs* It's making me cry too!
  25. SilverWander Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    Angel
    Post more!
    your one of my favorite authors!:)
    I love this story even thow its sad.

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