Home In Time for Supper--Wraith Squadron/OCs >>Update! 1/6<<

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Xaara, Sep 2, 2002.

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  1. Guinastasia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2002
    star 6
    I'm with Tyria-I don't trust this chick farther than I could throw her.
  2. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
  3. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Well, that's a pretty informed take on the situation, JSD. Don't worry, plenty of interesting things will happen between here and the end of the line... :)

    LM: Sorry to hear about the stomach flu--nasty stuff--but I'm glad you're back! Indeed, the Saga of the Halted Tram is just beginning, as you will find out in posts to come. ;) Thank you for your comment on the description. I'd have to say without hesitation that description is always my biggest problem with writing, mostly because I'm never quite satisfied with the way I've said something. Most dialogue remains pretty much unedited, but my description often meets my keyboard three or for times before it's even presentable. Thanks for your usual thoughtful comments and thanks for the up!

    Well-put, Guin. :D Thank you for reading!

    *******************************************************************

    Wes entered the cantina at a disinterested pace, Lucio beside him and Piggy several steps behind. As he had expected, the bartender looked up at him, gauged his ability to do any serious damage if inebriated, and dismissed the entire crew as another trio of locals.

    "This is where we meet Arnab?" asked Lucio.

    "That's right," said Wes. "Nineteen hundred hours?ah, there he is." He nodded toward a table near the back, where a man with light brown hair and a tiny moustache sat sipping a drink?non-alcoholic, Wes assumed. Across from him was Tyria, her hand wrapped around a glass of some purple liquid.

    "Hello," Wedge said when they approached the table. "Nice seeing you here."

    Wes inclined his head slightly. "Likewise." Gesturing for Lucio and Piggy to join him, he sat next to Wedge. Lucio took the place next to Falynn, and Piggy moved a chair to create a seat at the head of the table.

    Tyria waved at a waiter. "Could we get some service over here, please?"

    The man smiled automatically and hurried to the table, whipped out a tiny datapad and stylus, and stood at the equivalent of attention. Wes fought the urge to say at ease, and wrinkled his nose slightly in aversion to the bowing and scraping. Lucio saw the expression and grinned, his white teeth flashing for a moment before the waiter turned to him and he once again became the serious lieutenant.

    "I'll have the vegetarian sandwich," said Lucio. "And please, nothing that's going to move when I bite it."

    "Same for me," said Wes, who hadn't had time to look over the menu. Pointing carelessly at Piggy as if he considered the Gamorrean a simple piece of property, he continued, "And our companion here will have a steak, whatever sort of meat you have around here, well done."

    After Wedge and Tyria had placed their orders and the waiter had scuttled away, the conversation took on a more urgent air. "We've communicated with NRI, and we're going to meet with the people we're supposed to contact later tonight," Wedge said, resting his wrists on the table and leaning forward.

    "And this group, does it know we've arrived? Or will this be one of the surprises most of us are so good at finding?" Wes asked.

    Tyria shrugged. "Surprises aren't so bad. How many times did you know what you were going to get for your lifeday before you actually opened the presents?"

    Glaring, Wes said, "I always knew. I peeked. My question remains." He ignored Tyria's evident irritation and turned back to his commanding officer.

    "No, they won't know we're coming until we actually arrive unless Melcia tells them first," said Wedge with a long-suffering sigh.

    "So this will be a surprise," Lucio said.

    Wes turned to look at the younger lieutenant and nodded approvingly. With a little work, he could live up to my reputation.

    "Where are we going to meet?" Piggy grunted, his language automatically translated by the tiny speaker system installed in his throat. "And when?"

    Wedge glanced at his chrono. "Two hours, in front of my hotel." The commander cut off as the food arrived, then continued, "No New Republic-issue anything. I'll be going with my p
  4. talkingbanana Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2003
    star 3
    Finally decided to stop lurking around here - your work is great! I think I may have reviewed a couple times over on ff.net (same pen name as my screen name here), and then saw that you were posting here more regularly and started reading here.

    Great update, as always!

    Perhaps, Myn thought, allowing the perilous idea slip into his head, this might turn out as planned after all.

    Ha, yeah right! I can't wait to see what kind of mischief they get into now. ;)
  5. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    As he had expected, the bartender looked up at him, gauged his ability to do any serious damage if inebriated, and dismissed the entire crew as another trio of locals. *shakes head* An unwise move, particularly where Wes is concerned?

    Tyria shrugged. "Surprises aren't so bad. How many times did you know what you were going to get for your lifeday before you actually opened the presents?"

    Glaring, Wes said, "I always knew. I peeked. My question remains."
    [face_laugh] Oh my god, you write the best dialogue. There's a fine line between amusing and subtle, and silly and banal. You, of course, exemplify the former. You must share your secret with me, O Great One. I have troubles with dialogue?

    Wes agreed with his mouth full. "Tafss a gud pndt." *glances around furtively* Ok, I have an absurd question: When you write the characters in situations where their words are obscured for some reason, do you practice? I remember having to write something where one of my characters had a swollen lip, and I stood in front of the mirror for a good fifteen minutes, talking to myself so I could hear exactly how the words sounded. Am I the only one? Also, no one can ever hear about this. *passes hand over thread*

    Ahem.

    Few sensations, he reflected later, exactly matched the feeling of four devious pairs of eyes, just watching him. *laughs* That was just a great line, and so eloquently worded.

    Stryson glanced at Runt as if he could not confidently place the nonhuman in either category? *grins* I love ambiguously malevolent-looking characters.

    Kell managed to turn an eye roll into something resembling a sneeze, a transition Myn would have appreciated had the former expression been directed at anyone but him. [face_laugh] That is just such a fantastic image! I love these characters, so much? It's rather obscene, actually. [face_mischief]

    Perhaps, Myn thought, allowing the perilous idea slip into his head, this might turn out as planned after all. *coughs* Right Myn, you just tell yourself that. Whatever gets you through the day.

    Great post, Xaara! The action is moving along at a wonderful pace. Can't wait to see what happens next. :D
  6. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    talkingbanana: Yay! A delurker! *bows* Thank you for entering my humble thread. ;) As for the FF.N vs. TF.N thing, it's a rather large pain to upload everything over at FF.N, so I only do it every once in a while, when I remember? I'm glad you liked the post, and I hope you stick around. (Love your username, BTW.)

    I don't know if calling me O Great One is such a good idea, LM. You might inflate my already oversized ego. :) The secret to dialogue is?that there is no secret. But other than that, all I can say is this: know your characters.

    When you write the characters in situations where their words are obscured for some reason, do you practice? *whispers* You can never ever tell anyone this, but yes I do. I've done the exact same thing?standing in front of a mirror and trying to figure out what letters to use to reproduce an odd-sounding word. Mom actually walked in on me as I was trying to figure out the phrase I ended up including in that last post and asked me something like, "Why are you standing in front of a mirror and saying 'That's a good point' with three fingers in your mouth?" I had, as you may well understand, quite a bit of embarrassed explaining to do. :D

    Right Myn, you just tell yourself that. Whatever gets you through the day. So it's not enough that you talk to yourself, now you talk to the characters, too? Honestly. :) Thanks for reading!
  7. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Alahna hissed as she pulled in a lungful of warm air. Though Moira had promised to send someone up "soon," the smuggler saw no indication that anyone had been notified of her situation, much less advised to correct it. Darkness had come, and with it a relative cool, but the room remained uncomfortable enough to distract Alahna from the sleep Ton and Face enjoyed. Even fully clothed, they did not appear to suffer from the heat. Some people, she thought with a little twinge of envy, can sleep anywhere. Another glance at the slumbering duo. It's probably because they're in the military. I'll bet the Rebels could snatch a nap en route to the Death Star.

    Rising and walking through the open door to her room, Alahna turned the already overworked temperature control down several more degrees. The machine complained, but obligingly sent a batch of frigid air through the fan. Since one machine was being forced to perform the job usually required of two, Alahna did not have a great deal of confidence in the theory that both rooms would eventually become comfortable. Reasoning that Face and Ton were asleep and thus would not be bothered by a slightly raised temperature in their room, Alahna closed the door separating the areas and curled up on her bed, closing her eyes in another attempt to rest.

    Her thoughts insisted on coming back to the present, and at long last she abandoned any ideas about sleep, instead deciding to find something to eat in the comfortable dining area downstairs. She left a note?Gone to find food. Meet my when you wake up or I'll bring something back for you?and exited the room as quietly as possible, slipping her keycard into her pocket. As an afterthought, she returned briefly to collect her blaster and a small holdout vibroblade.

    The restaurant was open but unoccupied save a lone Rodian male who did not look up from his meal when Alahna entered. Force of habit directing her actions, she chose a corner table from which she could survey the entire space at a glance. Despite the lack of solid evidence implicating Moira in any sort of criminal activity, Alahna preferred to stay alert for any signs of danger. She kept this firmly in mind as she sat.

    At the press of a button, a menu appeared on the surface of the table in front of Alahna, coming from a screen flush with the plane. She tapped the table next to her selections, depressed the button that read "Done," and relaxed into her seat. Several minutes later, Moira entered the dining room carrying the salad and cold meat Alahna had ordered.

    Moira smiled as she set the food on Alahna's table. "No companions this evening?"

    Not sure how much she should risk telling the other woman, Alahna said, "They weren't ready to come down. They might join me later."

    The professional smile still on her face, Moira turned away. Alahna remembered at the last moment what she had wanted to ask, and called, "There still hasn't been anyone up to check the temp control. Would it be possible to get that taken care of?"

    Something in Moira's eyes hardened when she looked back at Alahna. "I'm sorry?I sent my brother up to see to that hours ago. He didn't come back and I assumed he'd completed the task. He'll go fix it right now. Enjoy your meal."

    "Thank you," said Alahna. "I'm sure I will."

    It was not much later when she heard the voices. At first, Alahna tuned them out?a pair of siblings arguing about work that needed to be done was hardly important enough to engage her curiosity?but a stray comment caught her attention.

    "?I can't, Moira. They've seen me already." The speaker?male and nervous, judging by his voice?lowered his tone, then said something too indistinct for Alahna to hear.

    Who's seen who already? I've seen him already? Is he the man from earlier, who escaped the restaurant as soon as Face and I turned away? Interested, the smuggler focused her ears on the conversation, pursing her lips in an effort to concentrate.

    "Look, Saro, someone has to fix the temperature control
  8. talkingbanana Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2003
    star 3
    Together, the two lifted Nascha onto a hovercart and sped the vehicle through the remains of the crowd, leaving Jax with Rison and an injured Twi'lek. Rison, an injured Twi'lek, and the agonizing fear that his moment of indecision had cost him a life he now realized he valued more than his own.

    :eek: :eek:

    great update . . . but a costly one. you better post again, with some lighthearted event, to make up for it . . . :p
  9. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    Fantastic post, Xaara. Have to dash, but will be back later to edit in an actual response.
  10. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I'm back, and I've just had a mammoth catch-up session. I'm sorry I can't reply to every individual post -- I just missed too many of them. But thanks for the dedication back at the end of May. I really appreciated that.

    So many suspicious things! Alahna's 'relationship' with Lucio, the problem with the tram, the suspicious brother of Moira, the Imp, or ex-Imp, I should say, the explosion leading to the fire fire, and now smoke escaping from Nasha's nostrils -- uh oh!

    All I can say is, I'm waiting eagerly for more! :)
  11. Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 4
    :eek: After not reading this fic for several weeks *hangs head in shame* i must say that was incredible! you captured the fear of the fleeing crowd really well...great stuff, Xaara!

    UP!

    -JSD
  12. Guinastasia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2002
    star 6
    Oh, I've been neglecting the fan fics for a bit-GREAT job.

    Waking Face up-LOL

    [face_laugh]

    Poor Jax!

    :_|
  13. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Sorry, talkingbanana, we don't really get anything lighthearted in this post? But I promise, it gets better! :)

    Thanks, LM. I'm glad to know you're around.

    Welcome back, Jane Jinn! I'm glad to see you back on my thread, and you're welcome for the dedication. It's the least I could do. So many suspicious things! You've got that one right? ;) Hope you enjoy the post.

    Thank you, JSD. The crowd scene was tough in a fun way. I just finished a sociology course, so it was interesting for me to try to capture group panic in an incident like that.

    Guin: I'm glad you're still around! I do seem to have a terrible tendency to put Jax through all sorts of difficulties, don't I? :D

    *******************************************************************

    This post is dedicated to the memories of Cmdr. Kevin A. Bianchi, Lt. Peter Ober, Aviation Structural Mechanic 1st Class Brian P. Gibson, and Aviation Electrician's Mate 3rd Class Samuel Cox, recently killed in a helicopter accident just south of Sigonella, Sicily, the US Naval Air Station where I currently live. My prayers are with their families, friends, and shipmates.

    *******************************************************************

    "Wedge, would it be insubordination to tell you that this is a bad idea?"

    "Yes it would, Wes."

    "Would it be insubordination to think that this is a bad idea?"

    "No."

    "Fine. I think this is a bad idea."

    Wedge glanced at his second-in-command and grimaced. "Wes, I didn't ask for your opinion."

    His face heavily coated with sweatproof makeup, Wes was unrecognizable, at least until he grinned. "You almost never do. That's why I've become so good at offering it."

    The rest of the group stood uneasily outside Wedge's hotel. Piggy and Lucio had placed themselves several paces to either side of the other three, and Tyria looked very much inclined to step into a point position. Wedge restrained her with a sharp gaze. In the case of an attack, he wanted the group together.

    Quiet and dark but for the scuttling of tiny lizards and the light of one dim sign advertising the hotel, the street seemed unoccupied. Suspicious absence of locals, Wedge thought, his Intel instructor's voice playing in his mind. You'd expect them to be out at night, when the area cools off a little.

    Something larger than a lizard dragged its feet up the street; Wedge had his hand on his blaster before he quite realized what he was doing. "Hello?"

    "It's me," came Melcia's voice. "Are you ready?"

    Wedge contained his sigh of relief and spoke into the darkness, toward where he judged Melcia stood. "Affirmative. Lead the way."

    The sound of footsteps receding into the night guided Wedge in Melcia's direction, and he nearly bumped into her before he recognized her indistinct form and mentally distinguished it from the otherwise still shadows. Listening carefully, Wedge thought he could hear all four sets of feet following him. Even so, he couldn't quite be sure.

    "Lead?" That was Tyria's voice.

    "Yes, Ten?"

    A brush of fabric, and the woman walked beside him, her steps inaudible. "This is just like Coruscant," she whispered.

    Confused, Wedge frowned and turned toward her, but Tyria had already retreated into the darkness behind him. Just like Coruscant? What's that supposed to mean? That it's not what it seems? That we're walking into a trap? That a Star Destroyer is about to drop out of nowhere and defect?

    More bewildered than enlightened, Wedge continued after the quiet New Republic intelligence officer. When he was reasonably sure that she would hear him if he spoke, he said, "How much farther?"

    Melcia hesitated in her purposeful march. Or at least she moved differently; Wedge could not tell if she had stopped or merely drawn her loose garments more tightly about her. "Not much. We're nearly there. Five more minutes, maximum."

    "Oh. Good." Wedge did not add that he was grateful for that information, as his ba
  14. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    *sneaks in with ski mask over face to hide true identity*

    *ups thread*

    *sneaks out*
  15. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    And more suspicious things! Why aren't the locals out in the cool of the evening? I liked the way that Wes managed to get his opinion in unasked -- I love the way you've got his characterization down just perfect!

    And I also liked the description of Melcia as "something larger than a lizard". :)

    Excellent description of Charla, by the way. Is she really the leader, or is she a decoy, as Wedge is wondering?

    Hmm, Myn's suspicious about where the driver is taking them, and then the driver is suddenly killed? I wonder if the driver was truly ambushed, or whether he meant to bring them to this point (though not to get himself killed, of course.) So the people who have captured them are not Imperials? Another resistance cell? Can't wait to find out. This is a great set-up, you've really got my attention now. :)
  16. Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 4
    ooooooh...nice postie! the plot thickens...

    UPness!

    -JSD
  17. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Thanks for your comment about Wes, Jane Jinn--I think he's very easy to overdo, and it's a relief to know that you don't think I exaggerate him! I'm glad you have questions, because that means I'm doing my job. ;)

    JSD: Yes it does... [face_plain]

    *******************************************************************

    Stumbling blindly through the chaos outside the command center of Coruscant, Jax found himself in a secluded corner, cut off from the noise and confusion. He pressed his back against a permacrete wall and slid down, ignoring the way his shirt bunched under his arms and folded uncomfortably against his back. Pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, Jax scarcely noticed when Rison, his face still exhibiting his shock, knelt nearby.

    "We could go find her," Rison said. "Though," he added with a rueful smile. "I wouldn't know where to begin."

    "Jax just shook his head and retreated within himself, refusing to respond. I don't want to find her. I don't want to know.

    When Rison rose and took several steps away from the alcove, Jax closed his eyes and brought Nascha's image into his mind. Her vibrant blue eyes sparkled with mirth as she flipped a strand of her light hair over her right shoulder. She said something Jax couldn't quite hear. "What?" he asked, willing her to repeat her words. Somehow, it seemed important that Jax hear what Nascha was trying to tell him. A part of him realized that he was talking to an image that existed solely in his brain, and that conversing with hallucinations was generally associated with drug use or mental instability, but Jax didn't care. He was afraid that if he questioned Nascha's existence, she would cease to exist.

    Rison has returned. "Jax, are you all right? Did you hurt yourself?"

    The image of Nascha disappeared and Jax stood quickly, intending to lash out at the older man for interrupting his thoughts. As he rose, however, a sudden dizziness interfered with his sense of balance. Had Rison not stepped forward and caught one of his arms, Jax would have fallen.

    "I think we need to get you a medic," said Rison. "Are you sure you didn't hit your head?"

    "Go to hell," Jax suggested disagreeably. "I'm just tired."

    Rison's concern intensified, and he peered at Jax's face. Angrily, Jax turned his head to the side in a quick movement dizzied him. With a quick breath of worry or annoyance?Jax couldn't tell which?Rison started to guide Jax back toward the crowd. "Jax? You're not making sense, kid. I'm going to take you to a medic."

    "Of course I'm making sense," Jax snapped, trying to wrench his arm from Rison's grip. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't muster the energy required. At last, he settled for digging in his heels and locking his knees to prevent Rison's advance.

    "Medic!" called Rison, still clasping Jax's arm. "I think we have a concussion here."

    A medic materialized from the crowd. "Count backwards from one hundred by sevens," he sighed, his eyes betraying his fatigue.

    "Ninety-three," Jax said at once. He began to count back again, stopped, started over. "Ninety-three," he repeated. What comes after ninety-three? Ninety-two, and then ninety-one, and then ninety, and then?wait, where was I? At ninety-one? Or was it ninety?

    "Did he hit his head?" the medic asked. "And if so, did he loose consciousness?"

    "Not that I'm aware," said Rison, watching Jax in his peripheral vision. Annoyed, Jax turned away, pulling on his arm, which Rison relinquished reluctantly.

    "He'd better come into the medical center, though I'm not sure if we'll be able to see him immediately. There are folks with a lot worse problems."

    "I understand," Rison said. "I would feel better if he was in a setting where someone could look after him, though."

    Jax was about to protest that he was standing right there, that they had no right to talk about him as if he could not hear. But as he opened his mouth to speak, the world around him swirled, faded like a holo whose project
  18. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    *clears throat* Readers, your attention please. :)

    I am in the process of moving from Italy to the United States, and as a result, I will have very limited access to word processing programs and Internet. Somehow, I must survive, though it will be a simple existance. I have no idea when I will be able to post again--I hope to finish a section tonight but I'm not going to put up a sub-par piece of writing just because I'm in a hurry. With any luck, I should be able to get a few short bits up during the moving process, but again, I don't know.

    Normal posting (once every week or so) should start no later than the beginning of September.

    Thank you for everything--all of you--and enjoy the remainder of your summers!
  19. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Xaara, I wish you a speedy and efficient move, with as little stress as possible and no catastrophes.

    You're right not to hurry your posts. Take your time and make them good. :)

    Jax sounds like he's really in a bad way; I loved the way you described his confusion and dizziness.

    I loved the way you described Face as wanting Saro out of the room so that he could do the work himself! And the way that Saro was forever broadcasting that he wanted to flee their presence.

    So, Moira was the ringleader? How did the Imps find out? And what's this sudden transition of Saro from naive youth to determined soldier? Hmm, I'm wondering if Moira really was the ringleader ...
  20. Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 4
    Good luck, Xaara. Hope all goes well!

    What's wrong with Jax, I wonder? Ooooh...Saro's a big strong man now, is he? ;) j/k...looking forward to more, sweetheart, after you're back. Again, good luck, and MTFBWY.

    -JSD
  21. Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 4
    UPness....anyone in here?

    -JSD
  22. Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 4
  23. Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 4
  24. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    So, how's the move coming along?
  25. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Jane Jinn: Very good questions, as always. Yes, Saro is a bit more than meets the eye, as we'll see later... :) As for Jax's symptoms, I had to do a little research on concussions before I was quite confident enough to write that, so I'm glad you thought it turned out well.

    As for the move, I've actually arrived in my temporary house, so I'm about halfway through my adventure into the unknown. Thanks for asking!

    JSD: Thank you for the review and the ups. As for when we'll get a new post, it's still a little up in the air, but I hope to have one within the next week or so. This is a long weekend, so I hope to get at least some work accomplished. ;)
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