Home In Time for Supper--Wraith Squadron/OCs >>Update! 1/6<<

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Xaara, Sep 2, 2002.

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  1. CptCorranHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2002
    star 5
    AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!


    I can't believe I missed two whole posts. Put me out of my misery now, please.

    On a more serious note, you're doing a fantastic job! Keep it up :)
  2. CptCorranHorn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2002
    star 5
    Whoops, double post. Sorry about that. I just love this story so much I had to post my thoughts twice ;)
  3. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    TKeira_Lea: Thanks! I started this when I noticed the severe lack of any pilot fics floating around, and I'm glad you like it. Thank Allston for the characters--he really created a wonderful group of people--I'm just lucky I get to work with them.

    Thanks, Guinastasia. Wes is great. :)

    CptCorranHorn: But if I put you out of your misery, you couldn't reply! :D Thank you.

    ********************************************

    If Jax was eager to share the details of the trouble he had somehow encountered, he was doing an excellent job of concealing his enthusiasm. He sat to Alahna's right in the cockpit of the Mynock, busying his hands with a datapad and writing stylus, attempting to appear as if he did not have time to talk. Alahna knew he knew it was useless. Patiently, she waited.

    While passing the time until Jax's inevitable confession, Alahna took a minute to look over the woman he had brought along. She sat ramrod straight, blue eyes straight ahead, dark blond hair falling in neat waves over her shoulders. Tiny wrinkles around her eyes suggested that the woman was more inclined to laughter than disapproval, and she seemed comfortable aboard the freighter. Not too bad of a choice, but not much use in a firefight, Alahna concluded, turning her scrutiny back to her co-pilot.

    Jax groaned finally, his gaze directed toward the ever-shifting tunnel of hyperspace. "I have to tell you."

    "Yes." Alahna watched his reflection in the transparisteel dome covering the cockpit.

    "And I can't delay forever."

    "Not likely."

    "And you'll mount my head on your turrets whether I come clean or not."

    "Probably."

    "So it's stupid to keep sitting here and pretending I can get out of it."

    "I think you've got the idea."

    The woman, seated between and behind Alahna and Jax, quirked a smile and said, "Perhaps I should help explain?"

    "Good idea," Alahna said, her voice full of false congeniality. "But first my co-pilot is going to explain, omitting no details, exactly what happened on Genesia. I'd advise you to maintain your silence until he's done?done to my satisfaction."

    A gulping sound emanated from Jax's seat. "Look, Alahna, I just went to the library to find out about the squadron, since you told me not to go near them again, and once I was there Nascha?that's her?told me about Rebellion and Old Republic literature and gave me some things to read, and then she told me she wanted to join the New Republic."

    "Very good, Jax, but I don't think you heard my request for details. It's not possible to describe the events of three hours in one sentence." Alahna glared at Jax, her gaze saying clearly, out with it.

    He heaved a deep sigh. "I went to the library to look for information on the squadron we're suddenly allied with, and I couldn't find anything about them. They're either new, or undercover, or not actually Rebels." At Alahna's puzzled look, he turned toward her and said, "I checked out all the recorded squadrons, and none bear their markings.

    "So anyway, I met the librarian Nascha when we were in the library, and she offered to find me An Era, which she did while I was searching the galactic database." Jax produced a datapad as if to verify his story; Alahna waved it away with an impatient gesture of her right hand.

    "What does that have to do with anything?"

    Nascha spoke up from behind the pair. "It's a piece of Old Republic literature. I identified him as a possible Rebellion and New Republic sympathizer, and I offered to let him read it, though the work was banned years ago when the Emperor gained power."

    There was sense to that, Alahna acknowledged. She knew that many of worlds with less Imperial influence had maintained their stocks of Old Republic literature; the only books and materials the Empire had really been determined to destroy were those pertaining to the Jedi and their followers. Now, the Jedi were only a faint memory, mystical beings out of a fairy tale. Of course, Luke Skywalker was trying to rebui
  4. Ysanne_Isard Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 27, 2002
    star 5
    I just discovered this, and I really like it :D I'm a huge Wraith fan. As Guin said, you should really come over to the EUC and join the fan clubs
  5. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Thank you and welcome, Ysanne_Isard.
  6. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Those posts were really great posts. I love the humor.

    Love NYC
  7. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    Since I haven't had time to read 'I Know,' I decided to check this out, and I love it! *hugs Xaara* Your writing is wonderful, and I'm so impressed. You've hooked me. :)

    I love how tight your writing is. What I mean is that there isn't any extraneous dialogue or description, and everything flows so quickly and smoothly. And the dialogue is awesome, by the way. Every post is funny (I keep laughing really loudly and my mom gives me odd looks), but it's not trite and it's never too much. And the plot is great, because I can understand and remember exactly what's going on, which is quite a feat for me. :D

    The characters are great as well. Each of the Wraiths have a unique personality, and unique relationships with their squadronmates. I love Wes and Wedge's relationship. They're such close friends, but there's this amusing tension because Wedge is technically the superior.

    I also love Face; he sounds v. adorable. ;) I'm very interested in Alahna! She's sounds like a woman after my own heart, and the way you write her is wonderful. Their relationship is going to be interesting, I suspect.

    Bravissima my friend! Amazing job so far, and I can't wait for more! :)
  8. TKeira_Lea Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 10, 2002
    star 5
    Xaara: Yeah a post. I am reading the first Wraith Squadron book right now. So I was looking forward to an addition to your story. First, I love Alahna. Something about the way you write her actually makes her jump off the page. She is very tangible. Secondly, I liked the way the post flowed, it was an easy read, easy to picture.

    "I don't want to impose?" Nascha began, but Alahna cut her off with a snort.

    "You already have. Not that I blame you?it's really more Jax's fault than anything." Her bitterness softened as she saw the hurt in Nascha's eyes. "Sorry," she said gruffly. "Just follow me."


    That is a telling hint to Alahna's nature.

    Keep up the good work. Glad to see you got your internet back. We missed you over at my thread.



  9. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Thank you, NYCitygurl!

    [face_blush] Wow, thanks, LM. I'm glad you like it!

    The whole no extraneous words thing is something I picked up in fifth grade when we were working on descriptive and "vibrant" words (I hated it) and dialogue (what's wrong with "said?"). :) Many authors I've known say they have problems with too much description in their pieces--I'm exactly the opposite. I usually have to go back through and add descriptions of people and places; when I'm seeing everything in my head, I often forget that my readers can't see it unless I draw them a word picture. (Does anyone else see the irony of going on and on about how I don't go one and on? ;) )

    I've been reading Allston's books so much lately I practically have them memorized--it comes in handy to know callsigns and other trivia as well as be able to mentally duplicate each character's speech patterns. Again, tons of thanks to Allston--he's my hero for actually creating all those colorful characters.

    I'm going to go into my philosophy of life here, so you can skim this part if you want. :) I think that one of the main reasons the X-wing series is so popular is that it deals with serious and sometimes very dark concepts and ideas, but leaves you with the idea that you've just read a lighthearted piece of writing. Death, betrayal, deep rivalry, and even hatred are all explored, but the impression is not that the book is about a horrible war. The books are about relationships, and that's what makes them stand apart from many other pieces of Star Wars literature. The characters confront all sorts of situations, but the situations are a backdrop to a complex web of interpersonal relationships that define each person for who he or she is. I've tried to model my story after that idea so far; we'll see how far that goes.

    And speaking of relationships, the one which will develop between Face and Alahna is indeed interesting...but you'll just have to wait and see. :D Grazie per la bellissima revista!

    And TKeira, a lot of the response to your post is in the answer to LM's review, but here's a little on Alahna:

    I created her a long time ago for a writing seminar where we had to pick someone we knew and twist him/her into someone we could write about. I don't know who Alahna is modeled after--she just begged to be written, so I wrote her. Jax, on the other hand, bears a certain resemblance to my little brother... :)

    She speaks without thinking a lot, so I have to write her without thinking. Generally, that means I have to go back and edit her a lot, but it makes for an interesting character. ;)

    Thanks! The next post should be up sometime in the next century, but you never know...
  10. Admiral_Lelila Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2001
    star 4
    Xaara
    Great story.


    I always have a copy of the Wraiths on my nightstand. I've read them countless times. :p [face_laugh]


    ~Lelila~

  11. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    I know exactly what you mean about the books, and how they show that relationships can be the purpose of life, rather than a side effect. I haven't read any of the X-wing books in a long time, but you've inspired me to go pick them up! I'm going to head to the library after I get back from vacation next week, and I'm going to read them all. Thanks. :)
  12. Guinastasia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2002
    star 6
    I re-read the X-Wing series all the time. Right now I'm on SoA, and when I finish, I'm going to start back at the beginning with Rogue Squadron.

    They never get old.

  13. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    I feel like such a dork going to the counter at the library and checking out five or six SW books at once. I know I shouldn't care, but the librarians look at me funny! [face_blush]
  14. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Sorry, no time for individual responses now, but I'll reply later. Thanks?all of you?for reading!

    *******************************************************************

    "So," Ton said, his voice carefully careless, "what do you know about this Alahna?"

    Face glared at his drink, at his wingmate, and back at his drink. "What?s it to you?"

    They were sitting elbow-to-elbow at the smooth pilots' bar in one of the upper levels of Coruscant, each sipping a tangy carbonated beverage. Face had been in a self-enforced state of dejection since he had overheard an argument between Alahna and one of the spaceport control personnel?apparently, she had wanted to leave at once, but had been forced to stay until the pending investigations could take place. Face had been upset over the way the officer had treated the smuggler, but more so at the fact that she had decided to leave without warning him. Ton had watched as Face took his frustration out on the hapless spaceport controller before storming from the scene, holing himself in his quarters, and locking the door. Ton's wingmate had been unresponsive to all of Ton's efforts to take him out onto the planet and had remained in his bunk for most of the next day, only now venturing out to quell his hunger at the small restaurant and bar reserved for the pilots stationed on Coruscant.

    Face looked up. "I asked you a question," he said disagreeably.

    "I asked you a question, too," Ton pointed out.

    "So?"

    Shrugging, Ton drained his glass and gestured for the bartender to bring him a refill. "Just interested in why you've been moping in your quarters instead of trying to get to know her better while she's here. You're stuck on a planet with a woman who you've obviously fallen for, and what do you do? You spend your time pouting and drinking fruit fizz." Ton made a sound of disgust at the back of his throat, then adopted a thoughtful expression. "Or maybe that's the fashionable way to court someone on Pantolomin; you could be expressing your desire to return to your roots." Satisfied that he had planted the seed deeply enough, Ton rose from his seat with a jaunty, "Well, see you later, then," and moved to talk to a small group of the other pilots.

    It was not without a little glimmer of satisfaction that Ton noted Face rise from his seat five minutes later, look hastily around the room, and leave?from the right door. Ton knew the layout of the small area as well as Face possibly could have, and he was not surprised when Face took the door that only led to one area: the hangar bay. His smile had a wistful edge as Ton turned back to his conversation.

    *******************************************************************

    "Alahna?" Face stood on the ramp leading up to the Mynock, undecided as to whether he should wait for the pilot to invite him in or walk aboard uninvited. He came to a compromise and climbed the incline, halting just inside the ship.

    He called her name again, and this time he heard an answer, a faint, "Come in!"

    "Where are you?"

    "Aft, starboard, don't come too fast or you'll fall into the hole I just made in the deckplates."

    Following her directions took him through most of the ship and Face was ready to call again when he glanced down an impossibly tiny passageway and spotted sparks flying from a welding torch. "What are you doing?"

    "I'm cooking dinner," said Alahna with a sour sarcasm to her words. "I like eating down in the underbelly of my ship in the company of a hydrospanner, a battery gauge, and a welding torch."

    A smile touched his mouth and Face trailed her voice to a spot where the floor plates had been removed and stacked neatly to one side of the passage. Alahna hung in the area below the decking, one hand gripping an edge of the floor, the other putting the finishing touches on a bundle of wires dangling a meter below deck level. She must have heard his footsteps stop above her, because she said, "If you're not here to tell me I can leave, I don't want to talk to you. I have the decency to
  15. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Thanks, Lelila. My copy of Wraith Squadron has been lovingly repaired countless times, and I still find something new every time I read it. :)

    Wow, I inspired you to do something, LM! Usually, I'm better at threatening than convincing, but you never know, I might have the potential to change. ;) And I know what you mean about the librarians looking at you funny when you come to the check-out counter with an armload of Star Wars books. Of course, it doesn't help that my mom is the librarian, so I get funny looks all the time... :D

    No, the X-wingers never do get old, Guinastasia. Thanks for dropping in. :)
  16. Admiral_Lelila Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2001
    star 4
  17. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Thanks, Lelila. I might get another post up this weekend; otherwise, I'll definitely be able to write next weekend. Until then, it's super-intensive Yearbook editing for me! ;)
  18. Guinastasia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2002
    star 6
    If Face were holding his hand out to me....well...I don't think it would be appropriate to to describe what I'd do here.

    ;)
  19. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    Awesome post, Xaara! I don't have a lot of time now (argh, homework), but I loved that post!

    Suddenly yearning to touch her, but afraid that reaching out to this woman would mean a direct trip to the med ward with a hydrospanner embedded in his skull, Face wiped his hands on the sides of his pants and looked away.

    [face_laugh] Great line!

    Face and Ton's dialogue actually makes me laugh out loud, and this is only one of two fics that actually does that to me. The humor is lovely, because it also reveals something of their character.

    Speaking of 'something', I believe there was a line that was like: "Something echoed strangely in Ton's voice as he replied..." or similar to that. Hmmmm... Do I detect foreshadowing? ;) We'll have to see, I suppose. Wonderful job, and I can't wait for the next post, after which I'll leave a better review. :)
  20. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
  21. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Well let's see, Guinastasia...this is a PG rated board, so I think it's safe to assume that your actions would not be rated PG? ;) Thanks for stopping in.

    I liked that line, too LM. What's the other fic that makes you laugh, in case I'm not already reading it?

    Foreshadowing?! I would never sink that low! How dare you even think such a thing?! Well...maybe... :) Thank you!

    *******************************************************************

    Jax had seen a good deal in the relatively small part of the Galaxy he had traveled. He had been witness to death and birth, upheaval and peace, laughs and threats. He had watched countless holonews reports on the activities and current priorities of famous people around the Galaxy, and he knew most of the more influential politicians of the New Republic by name and face.

    So when he and Nascha were admitted into Luke Skywalker's semi-office, he was awed by the sight of the man in front of him. Skywalker was shorter than he had expected, and less intimidating, with an air of peaceful solemnity that somehow did not strike Jax as seriousness; rather, the man seemed to carry his load lightly and yet know what he was about. The impressiveness of his quiet demeanor lent weight to his words and gestures when Skywalker presented a rehearsed smile and said, "Come in, both of you, and a belated welcome to Coruscant."

    "Thank you, uh?" Jax trailed off, uncertain how to address the Jedi before him, but Nascha stepped in smoothly and diverted attention from his predicament.

    "I'm honored you took the time to review me," she said with the straightforward honesty she so consistently displayed, "though I doubt I am really what you would call Jedi material."

    Luke smiled again, this time displaying genuine emotions. "Don't trouble yourself. All those who have control over the Force can be of use to the New Republic, in one way or another." His eyes lost focus for a moment and Jax found himself wondering exactly what sort of willpower the Jedi had to be single-handedly able to begin the training of an entire new generation of prospective Knights. With an abrupt grace, Luke looked back at the pair, gesturing at two seats set across from a low stool. "Please, sit down. I'd like to learn more about both of you."

    Though he could not help feeling a twinge of envy at the way Nascha so obviously felt at ease with such an important member of the New Republic in front of her, Jax pushed the emotion aside and decided instead to watch the way she conducted her end of the conversation. Nascha's method of dealing with unfamiliar people was decidedly different from Alahna's and that of the lower classes he regularly encountered, and he found himself studying each speaker in turn, trying to decide exactly how they communicated so clearly without any mention of a deal. In his experience, most conversations between strangers led either to a transaction or a lightfight, but this seemed like a simple request for information that neither party wished to withhold. It was a new concept, and not one without the potential to be useful.

    Crossing his arms comfortably, Luke asked, "Nascha, where are you from?"

    "I was born in Brala, on Genesia," she said. "I grew up in the city?this is my first experience offplanet. After taking university courses in original printed literature, I got a job as a print literature specialist in the main library in Brala. I worked there for about two years before I?found passage offworld."

    "She met me when I was in the library, looking for?uh?news reports, and she asked if we took passengers. We usually don't, but it looked like we were headed to Imper?I mean Coruscant?anyway."

    Luke turned his attention to Jax, who resisted the impulse to squirm. "'We' being you and Alahna Vahr."

    "Yes, sir."

    "Smugglers?"

    "Traders, sir. Legal, mostly."

    "I see."

    "Uh, yes, sir."

    There followed a short pause, broken by Luke's rather unprofessional grin. "Just call me Luke, Jax. And don't worry, the New Republic has nothing aga
  22. Ultima_1 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2001
    star 5
    Good story so far. You are portraying the Wraiths very well.
  23. Admiral_Lelila Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2001
    star 4
  24. Guinastasia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2002
    star 6
    Why am I not surprised? Should we take bets on who started it?

    :D
  25. LadyMairead Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    Ack! A cliffie! *scowls at Xaara* Now was that very nice?

    Despite the rather abrupt ending, that was a great post. ;) I can't wait to see how Nascha's Jedi training goes, especially since I've always been rather interested in the education of Jedi healers. The only one we (we-the-hive-mind, I mean, of course ;) ) really get to see in the books is Cighal, and I'd love to learn more about them. It was also very interesting to see Jax observe Luke. Luke seems to be preoccupied with something. I wonder what...

    I love Alahna's reluctance to admit that she's attracted to Face. It's so classic, and yet endlessly entertaining. Their relationship will be very interesting to watch.

    All in all, a wonderful post. :)

    But this doesn't mean I forgive you for the cliffie. *resumes scowling*

    P.S. The other fic that makes me actually laugh out loud is a Harry Potter fic actually, and it's my favorite fic ever. It's the Draco series, by Cassandra Claire, and it's amazing. Here's the link if you're interested: Cassandra Claire
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