main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Home In Time for Supper--Wraith Squadron/OCs >>Update! 1/6<<

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Xaara, Sep 2, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Wow, LM! *blushes profusely* That was an incredible review, so I'll have to take some time later and reply to it. For now, though, I'm a little short on the whole time thing, but...just...geez... THANK YOU!

    'Fraid not, Guinastasia. But feel free to imagine it. ;)

    *******************************************************************

    Jax Arvid was not one to feel torn. His entire life had centered around one goal: escape from the monotonous and unexciting life plan his parents had constructed for him. From the time he was born, he had been expected to live up to the mathematical genius of his grandfather, an ambition that was, to him, too irrational to contemplate. Perhaps it was because he had first read at the age of three that Jax found his sanctuary in books; perhaps it was simply because the characters which existed only on the screen of his datapad were free to rebel, shaking off restrictions and throwing caution to the winds.

    He stopped pacing around his room and flopped onto the bunk, burying his face in the hard pillow. He had signed on with Alahna expecting a life of danger and excitement, not one of innumerable near-death experiences and a developing brotherly friendship with his captain. There had been times, especially when he wrote letters to his parents while traveling through the interminable tunnel of hyperspace, when he had regretted his impulsive decision. They were rare. For the vast majority of the time, Jax loved his life.

    The door to Jax's room hissed open and he turned his head enough to see that Nascha stood in the doorway. She appeared uncertain as to whether or not to proceed, so he waved her into the open area in the center of his space. "Don't worry?you didn't wake me up."

    Smiling, she stepped farther into the room and extended a datacard. "I found a novel you might like."

    "Oh?" Despite himself, Jax could not hide the way his face brightened. "Which one?"

    "It's called An Almost Perfect Dream, by Keil Greygo. It was actually one of my favorites growing up because the main character is so much fun. I think I fell in love with him when I was about twelve years old."

    Jax smirked and sat up, crossing his legs and balancing himself on his bed. "You fell in love with a character in a datacard novel?"

    "It's no more unrealistic than swooning over a holostar," she retorted, dragging a chair near his bunk and perching on it before handing him the small object she held in her hand. "I'm sure you've fallen in love with people completely beyond your reach."

    Jax turned the datacard over in his hand as he spoke. "Actually, there was this cartoon character, Brielle, from an old holo. She was so smart and witty, I always loved her." Looking up wryly, he added, "I guess I'm still not totally over her."

    "There are some things from which you'll never recover." Though Nascha's words were uttered lightheartedly, they struck Jax, dampening his cheerfulness.

    "Yeah, there are," he said, tossing the datacard onto his bedside table and picking at the hem of his blanket.

    To her credit, Nascha recognized his mood swing immediately and asked gently, "What's wrong?"

    Any number of things are wrong. I'm part of the military, and I have no idea how I got here. Alahna's gone, but I can't figure out why. There's tension everywhere, and I don't know what the problem is? He settled for telling her the most obvious source of his unhappiness. "Alahna left earlier today."

    Nascha's mouth opened in surprise, but she closed it quickly. "Alahna left?" she repeated dumbly.

    "She just told me she was leaving in an hour, whether I was with her or not. When I said I wasn't leaving, she got real formal and said goodbye, and left. About a half hour ago, a droid came by and gave me everything I own." He gestured at three small boxes stacked neatly in the corner of the otherwise impersonal room.

    The two sat in silence for several minutes until Nascha said, "Well, would you like me to help you unpack?"

    The q
     
  2. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Aww, that was sweet. I liked the interaction between Nascha and Jax, the way they were teasing each other back and forth. I'm very sure that the library on base is completely inadequate. There can never be enough books! :)

    I can definitely understand Jax finding refuge in books, and the fact that he reads all the time now. I liked the way the characters that existed only on the screen were free to rebel. :)

    So, Jax doesn't know why Alahna left, despite the "brotherly" friendship that they had? Hmmm. It must be something deep, something she's never revealed to anybody before now.

     
  3. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Okay, here goes, LM.

    1) I'll get all the blushing and stammering and looking down out of the way first. *blushes, looks down* Flattery goes a long way. See what you've inspired me to write! *points down at next post*

    2a) Thanks so much for your comments on the characterization. I have to really visualize each character in my head, and each one has different features I suspect only I imagine. (Ex: I always thought of Ton as having an "English" accent; he reminds me of Malcolm in StarTrek: Enterprise).

    2b) I love Wedge, which is something I say, on average, once every two posts. He's a wonderful leader and a wonderful person. I wish I could say the same for all organizers, directors, and commanders. For my New Year's resolution, I think I'll try to be Wedge. (Once, I tried to be Jag for a day?you know the whole stiff emotionless thing?and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I have a new admiration for the entire Chiss species. But anywho?)

    2c) Originally, Alahna was going to be a minor character. At the beginning of the story, I intended to focus on Jax and Nascha's friendship, but Alahna is difficult to stop writing. Thank you for reassuring me she's not a Mary Sue! :D That's one of the best things a reviewer can tell an author about an OC.

    2d) Droids are fun! Every time I begin to think, They're piles of metal, my mind instantly returns to any one of the occasions in which Artoo demonstrates his sense of humor and wonderful absurdity. (And though your computer may be a Pagan, my school staff leans toward Communism. They ordered me, as Yearbook editor, to have pictures of students in school on May Day. Why? Because it's May Day. That was a totally random but interesting event in the life of Xaara.)

    3) I had to stick Han in there somewhere. He's the superhero of all smugglers! What would the Galaxy be without him?

    4) Thank You! And another Thank You! Even if the length of the review is generally Frowned Upon, it sure made me smile. :) Good luck on your lit tests, and have a great weekend!

    Jane Jinn: Too true?there never can be enough books. :) I've been reading since forever ago, and I've never disliked it. No, Jax doesn't know why Alahna left (at least not completely). But we'll find out. ;) Thanks for reading!

    *******************************************************************

    Nothing in particular drew Wes' attention to the young human female. She did not strike him as uncommonly pretty; nor was the way she moved alluring or in any way eye-catching. In fact, so perfect was her ordinariness that he would have immediately forgotten her had she not approached him with a datapad containing orders from Wedge. Smiling slightly, she handed him the orders, saluted, waited until he returned the gesture, and disappeared back into the crowd of beings surrounding the bar where most of the Wraiths sat, sipping non-alcoholic drinks.

    Wes opened the single file on the datacard, noting that it was encrypted with the lower classification Wraith codes. A touch of his finger to the datapad, and the computer read his fingerprint, matched it with his identification number, and allowed him access. It took him a minute to scan the contents, and another to verify the authenticity of the digital signature at the end of the short block of text. Frowning, Wes pulled out his comlink and dialed Wedge's frequency.

    "Thank you for using CommSystems," a female voice answered. "Unfortunately, the person you are attempting to contact is unavailable at the moment. Stand by for a short message from the user." A beep followed; then Wedge's voice, scratchy with static, came through the comlink's speaker. "If you're trying to contact me, I'm at a meeting right now. I probably won't be reachable for an hour or two, so leave your name and frequency and I'll get back to you soon." Another beep concluded the entire communication.

    With an odd feeling of discomfort, Wes shut down his comlink and hooked it back onto his belt. Onc
     
  4. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Keep reviewing, LadyMairead, if you can inspire such quick and long posts as this one. :)

    Hmm, I wonder if this Wraith activity has anything to do with that Star Destroyer Inescapable which was purporting to defect. It's still in orbit, right, but all of the crew (we hope) have been shuttled down to the detention center? Hmm. Either that, or High Command got tired of looking at the Imperial Palace and wants to blow it to Kingdom Come. ;)

    Ton is one of my favourite Wraiths. I like the gentle way you're portraying him, especially this sentence: The formula to constructing successful personal relationships, however, still eluded him. Awww. It's perfectly in keeping with how Aaron Allston showed him.

    I also had to laugh at Ton's opinion of Grinder. Very true!

    Face must really be hurt or angry or both, if he won't even let Ton into the room, not even to get his flight suit. Yes, there it is, we hear the pain and anger in his voice when he answers Alahna, and we see it in his actions when he gets his stuff, ignores her, and stomps out. Wow. Powerful scene there, very well written, especially that last little murmur of Alahna, "--I'm sorry?", and the way that Face's footsteps were so furious that he probably didn't hear her. Or else he was so hurt that he didn't want to hear her.

    This is very tense and I'm loving every minute of it! :)
     
  5. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Oh, I think the NR definitely wants to blow Imperial Palace sky-high. Why else would they choose it as their headquarters? :D

    Thank you for your reassurance that I'm staying true to the "real" Ton--I've always thought of him as a wonderful character. He's really the one who shows Face how much he means to the Galaxy, and for that I have to love him. (In addition, I've finally come to understand that, to be a slicer, one must have excess arrogance and a willingness to die within 100 pages so the reader can sigh with relief. :) )

    I'm glad you liked that particular part of the post. Emotional scenes are sometimes hard not to overdo...the characters have a tendency to become melodramatic if let loose. ;) Thanks for the kind comments.
     
  6. LadyMairead

    LadyMairead Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 20, 2002
    *grins and winks* I'm doing my best, Jane Jinn.

    Once, I tried to be Jag for a day?you know the whole stiff emotionless thing?and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I have a new admiration for the entire Chiss species. *laughs hysterically* I can't imagine someone actually trying to be Jag! That's hilarious?.

    Doesn't it always happen that the characters you think are going to have small parts end up taking over the story? Zekk and Kyp are like that in Shades of Gray.

    Also, it's my theory that all Italians are secretly Communists. I think it has something to do with being European? :p

    I'm so happy I've inspired you to write more! Does that mean we get a new post every time I write a really long review? :p Seriously, though, you deserved it. I know how much it means to me every time you write a thoughtful comment regarding my posts, so I felt the need to return the favor. Plus, I love this story. ;)

    On to my comments?

    Some very interesting insight into Jax's character.

    He had signed on with Alahna expecting a life of danger and excitement, not one of innumerable near-death experiences? Isn't that always what happens? :p

    "You fell in love with a character in a datacard novel?" I knew I wasn't the only one who did that! Ah, my first loves: Mr. Darcy, Telemachus, that kid from The Giver. The list goes on and on?

    "When are we going?"

    "Do you have any pressing evening appointments?"

    "Nope."

    "Now."
    [face_laugh] I loved this entire exchange! Nascha and Jax are adorable. I like how their relationship seems to be so easy, and not full of all the tension and angst that seems to characterize all other fnafic relationships. Sometimes, things are just that easy. Perfectly written.

    Though he was by no means the best pilot in the squadron, Ton prided himself on his acceptance into the academy of screwups and washouts. [face_laugh] That line made me laugh. Poor Ton? He's so abused by so many people.

    Oh, and I love the idea of an "answering machine"/voice mail kind of thing for the comlinks! It's something that never occurred to me, yet seemed perfectly natural when you wrote it. Nicely done.

    Oh dear. *sighs* Face and Alahna? They're being rather difficult, aren't they? The tension in this post was great, and I love how you incorporated Ton. It was interesting to observe them from his point of view.

    Emotional scenes are sometimes hard not to overdo...the characters have a tendency to become melodramatic if let loose. *sighs* That is all too true. I still haven't figured out how to restrain my characters. You must tell me your secret. :p

    Oh, and is something wrong with Wedge? Wes seemed rather concerned at the beginning of this post. *raises an eyebrow at Xaara. Is he really at a meeting? I suppose we'll have to wait and see?

    Great posts! :)




     
  7. _Tenel_Ka_

    _Tenel_Ka_ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 11, 2001
    Wow.


    I don't know how to review a story this good! Honestly Xaara, you've done an absolutely incredible job developing the already existing Wraiths and creating new, very intriguing characters.

    I am immensely enjoying this story, and I especially love the Alanha and Face plot, because it's realistic, not overly sappy or dramatic, and it's something easily related to. Regretting things you say, or should have said, and conversations that just don't go as planned are definitely the less than pretty aspect of relationships.

    One of my favourite bits so far though, was the conversation between Myn and Falynn a few posts back. It was brilliant and touching for only a few lines of dialouge, and it really stood out for me for that reason.

    Anyway, you are doing a WONDERFUL job with this story, and I regret it's taken me so long to get caught up!

     
  8. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    LM: Nascha and Jax are a lot of fun to write for that very reason: they get along so well. And yes, in real life not all relationships are so angsty you can practically feel the vibes coming off your computer screen.

    As for fanciful love interests, my most memorable ones were Benvolio and Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet, Starbuck from Moby-Dick, Gen from The Thief, and Ender from any one of the Orson Scott Card books. [face_heart]

    I needed an answering machine or its equivalent (you'll see why later), so I figured, 'why not just put a voicemail option on the comlinks? After all, what are they but SW equivalents of cell phones?' :D

    Cross my palm with silver and I will tell you the secrets of the universe... :) Seriously, though, the only secret to character restraint involves a captive audience comprising one younger brother who complains incessantly about the way the characters act. "Have them stop fighting already! When are we going to get more action?" These handy mush reducers are available as low cost at your neighborhood hardware store. Or, if you want a used one, I would be more than willing to part with mine...it's for the greater good... [face_plain]

    Thanks for your review!

    TK: [face_blush] Thank you! It means a lot to me when people take the time to read and respond to my story, so I'm glad you had the chance to drop in.

    Too true about relationships--they never do work out quite as planned. Kind of like stories! ;)

    Falynn is really a perceptive person (or at least she seems to be in the short amount of time we actually get to "know" her. I'm glad you liked her dialogue.

    In honor of your catching up, here's the next post:

    *******************************************************************

    Once again, Wraith Squadron took to the air above Coruscant. Face had seen the fatigue in every pilot's eyes, and the exasperation in more than one brisk step. We all need rest, and High Command's not about to give it to us. He settled into his cockpit, refusing to think about what had just happened at his quarters, but a rebellious question presented itself nonetheless. Why is she still here?

    "Eight?" Ton's voice filled his ears. "Are you all right?"

    "I'm fine," Face said, unwilling to share his problems with his wingmate at this particular point in time. Is she still here because she wants to apologize?

    "Are you sure?" asked Ton, his tone skeptical. "Whatever happened back there, it wasn't pretty."

    "I'm fine," Face said again, this time closing the connection to his friend. What if she was trying to apologize? Shaking his head, Face attempted to ban all thoughts of the smuggler from his mind. She had obviously wanted to rid herself of him, and her method had worked. As far as he was concerned, whatever he had imagined between them was completely gone.

    The takeoff went smoothly, and Face pulled up into orbit above Coruscant, setting his navcomputer to keep him over Imperial Palace, now the headquarters of the New Republic High Command. The huge hulk of the Star Destroyer, surrounded by New Republic personnel, appeared as a shadowy mass above the squadron. Though the ship had been neutralized, Face still found it difficult not to tense every time he caught a glimpse of what appeared to be an enemy vessel.

    Once he had reached an orbital level, Face could not find enough activity to busy his mind. His thoughts roamed back to the moment when he had first heard those words?You're running from yourself?emerge from Alahna's lips: the feelings of betrayal and burning anger. There was no reason to care as much as he did, except for the fact that he had liked her, and that, despite his violent attempts to convince himself otherwise, those sentiments had not disappeared.

    Face's proximity alarms screamed at him, and he instinctively pulled to the right, spinning his fighter around and accelerating to avoid whatever it was that immediately threatened his X-wing. When the alarms
     
  9. Flyboy_7

    Flyboy_7 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2002
    I don't always tell you I want more action! Just most of the time! :)

    That scene with Face following Jesmin almost all the way to Coruscant was tense but fast-paced. And for the last time, I don't think it was rushed. (Just so you know, my sister was nervous about posting this chapter, but there's a reason for it later. She made me edit it with her a million times before she posted.)

    I like the way you gave Wes a serious side. He's one of my favorite pilots, and he can be serious and funny. You show that well. Good job, sis!
     
  10. _Tenel_Ka_

    _Tenel_Ka_ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 11, 2001
    Action-packed is right!

    I wonder if the same thing that caused Face's proximity alarms to go off was the thing that hit Jesmin? Or were they both accidents? Something tells me no... [face_devil] I hope Face won't get a reprimand for ignoring Wes.

    The nagging doubt about Alanha's intentions, and the rather grouchy way he handled it makes me wonder what's in store for Alanha and Face. :D

    Great post Xaara, can't wait for more! :)
     
  11. Ultima_1

    Ultima_1 Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 16, 2001
    Very interesting parallel to when Kell tried to save Jesmin in Wraith Squadron. These last three posts have been excellent.
     
  12. LadyMairead

    LadyMairead Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 20, 2002
    Wow! [face_shocked] I'm usually not too fond of action, but this was fabulous! Just the right combination of movement and thoughts, if that makes sense. I thought the post was perfectly paced, and very suspenseful.

    Just so you know, my sister was nervous about posting this chapter, but there's a reason for it later. She made me edit it with her a million times before she posted.

    [face_laugh] I love that we have you little brother here to tell on you. *grins*

    I love your characterization of Face. He's so vivid, and I just want to give him a big hug. I liked the interplay between his insecurity about Alahna and his irritated conversation with Ton.

    I have to say, I can't wait to see Wes again! It seems like there's a dangerous man lurking under all that playfulness. I hope you let us read more about him in the future. Superb characterization, as always.

    The end was very sad, but I did like it. :( It will be interesting to see how Wedge reacts to Jesmin's death. Lovely post, and I'm eagerly anticipating the next. :)
     
  13. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Ooh, I liked the way Face was trying to concentrate on the mission, but couldn't stop thinking about Alahna, and was trying to convince himself that he'd only imagined there was anything between them.

    What set off Face's proximity alarms? I thought it might be Jesmin's X-Wing coming in his direction after her engine failure -- but what if it was the thing that caused that failure? What could have caused it? The Star Destroyer is described as being neutralized ...

    The part where Face was following Jesmin's dive down to Coruscant was very tense! I liked the way Face was thinking that you just didn't let your squadronmates die, that he wasn't going to let Jesmin die! I also liked the sentence where Wes actually sounded serious enough to mean what he was saying. And on the one hand, I was glad that Vape took control of Face's X-Wing, but on the other hand, I kept thinking, just a little farther, just a little farther, maybe he can catch Jesmin somehow ... urgh! I agree with Flyboy7, this wasn't rushed, the pacing was exactly right.

    So now the squadron has landed again, and there's still no explanation for what they were doing up there in the first place, what the threat could have been, and what happened to Jesmin. The suspense is killing me!

    It's so strange to see a serious Wes, although I know he can't be joking around all the time. I liked the way you showed his physical reaction; it made it all the more powerful somehow. Poor Wes -- it can't be easy to be the bearer of bad news.

    Excellent work all around; action and characterizations! I'm looking forward to more already. :)
     
  14. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Flyboy: I'm going to strangle you one of these days. You don't post in forever and then you come all the way to my thread to tell on me? *sticks tongue out* But thanks for the comment about Wes?he's one of my favorites, too. :)

    TK: I don't think Face'll get in trouble?after all, he was only trying to help. What's in store for Alahna and Face? Hmmm? I think maybe Ton will just get tired of them annoying each other and lock them in a room together for the rest of eternity. ;) In other words: you'll see! Thank you for reading.

    Thank you, Ultima_1. I was wondering if anyone would notice that parallel?yes, the scene turned out somewhat similar to that in Wraith Squadron.

    LM: You know what? You're the biggest flatterer this side of the galaxy! [face_blush] At this rate, the rest of my body will need blood transfusions because of the inordinate amount of blood in my face!

    I can't decide whether to smack my brother or give him a chocolate. He was a great help on the post, but he doesn't have to come in here to blab about it. [face_mischief]

    Wes is a very deep character, but he can be portrayed as a superficial jerk if not taken seriously. I'm glad you enjoyed him. Wedge's reaction to Jesmin's death: post after this one. Thanks a bunch!

    Jane Jinn: Despite the fact that this post is not exactly bright and cheery, I actually had a lot of fun writing it. It was challenging to get the length worked out so the whole thing doesn't get depressingly long but also doesn't read something like, "Jesmin crashed. Face almost crashed, too." For me, action always seems much more difficult than character interaction.

    Don't let the suspense kill you, or I'll have lost one of my best reviewers! :D Thank you for reading!

    *******************************************************************

    Jax and Nascha?the former lounging in a chair reading An Almost Perfect Dream, the latter conversing quietly with the librarian at the nearby checkout desk?looked up in unison as they heard someone enter the library. It took Jax a second to recognize her, and even then, he remained unsure that the female human striding toward him was actually his captain. Former captain, he reminded himself. "Alahna?"

    "Jax, we need to talk," she said, dragging him out of the chair despite his halfhearted protests.

    When she had directed him to a remote corner of the library, Jax began, "That's the way our last conversation started, Alahna. If you'd kindly recall, that particular exchange?"

    "?shut up," she said, peering furtively around the end of a shelf overstuffed with disorganized datacards. "I don't have time for that right now."

    He shrugged. "Fine. Welcome back. Just what in the name of any one of the Galaxy's deities are you doing here?"

    Glaring at him, her eyes shining with confusion or uncertainty, she said, "If I had my way, I wouldn't be here. I hate this place, and I want to get away?"

    "You dragged me into the corner of a large room to tell me that." Deliberately, Jax reached into his pocket, withdrawing a stylus and twirling it around his fingers as Alahna struggled with her answer.

    "No, Jax?it's not?I mean?sith!" She rubbed her eyes with her left hand and then let it drop heavily. "I don't want to leave."

    It was Jax's turn to stutter, at a loss for words. "But I thought?"

    "?well, you thought wrong. I don't want to stay, but I don't want to leave."

    His mouth gaped; the stylus dropped. Is this the same person who told me a short time ago that there was absolutely no way she was staying here? he thought, bending to retrieve the writing utensil. Shaking his head, Jax said, "The only way to do that is to live the rest of your life in orbit. That's not a great way to spend your time, if you'll allow me an opinion."

    Alahna smiled sourly. "I'm serious, Jax. It's horrible here, and I'd feel horrible leaving."

    "Why?"

    The simple question obviously caught Alahna in a moment of vulnerability. "I don't know," she said, her
     
  15. Mira_Terrik

    Mira_Terrik Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2002
    I'm pressed for time, so my reply won't be long but it'll be to the point!

    I've been following this story (i.e. lurking [face_blush] ) and I just want to say how much I am enjoying it. Wes, Ton, Wedge and the other Wraiths are written perfectly in character and the original ones are great and quite likable.

    It's very refreshing to read a story about the pilots and Xaara, you're doing a fantastic job! Keep it up! :D
     
  16. TKeira_Lea

    TKeira_Lea Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 10, 2002
    Just popped in for an up. Anxiously waiting for more...
     
  17. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Welcome, Mira! I'm always glad when my lurkers come out into the open, but thank you for reading even if you didn't post. After all, what's the point of writing if no one reads? ;)

    Thanks for the kind comments. [face_blush] I hope you stick around for more!

    TKeira: Thank you for the up. More soon-ish... :)
     
  18. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Well, that was interesting! I liked the way Alahna didn't want to stay, but also didn't want to leave, either. Loved Jax's comment that she could only do that by staying in orbit -- LOL!

    Oooh, Alahna was just about to tell him everything, wasn't she? The deepest secrets of her soul -- and then Nascha showed up. ARGH! I liked the way you showed the two women feeling uncomfortable in each other's presence. I especially loved this sentence: Jax had the discouraging feeling that the conversation actually existed on another level, one he could not reach. He sighed in disgust. Females?

    Poor Jax.

    But later, Nascha does seem to have shaken off that uncomfortable feeling and replaced it with sympathy for Alahna, which is good.

    ... swift and exacting punishment ... from whom? Alahna or Nascha?

    Another great post!
     
  19. LadyMairead

    LadyMairead Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 20, 2002
    Oh my goodness, I love the idea of Jax and Nascha hanging out at the library! That is just too adorably geeky, and I love them both for it! [/gush] I also wanted to comment on the fact that I like how Nascha and Alahna seem to get along. Too often, the female characters seem to be automatically jealous of one another, and it becomes tiresome. I like that they both seem to have a mutually vague respect for one another. ;)

    "? I don't want to stay, but I don't want to leave." [face_laugh] This is an all-too-accurate summarization of Alahna's situation. Indecisiveness at its most succinct.

    Extracting herself from his grasp, Alahna once more turned to go. This time she made it into the hallway before Jax knew exactly what he wanted to say to her. He ran out the door, skidded to a stop, and shouted, "Don't leave!"

    *tears up* That last scene was beautiful. Very touching, and just the right amount of humor and seriousness. I also liked its brevity. Many of us tend to linger upon the dramatic, but you always seem to cut it just short enough to leave it fresh and vibrant.

    Another lovely post, Xaara! :)
     
  20. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

    Jane Jinn: Yeah, well, I've always wished I could go into orbit for a few months?imagine how much work you could do with absolutely no one else up there! ;) Jax has the part of endearingly clueless character in this post, and he's a lot of fun to write in that role. Nascha and Alahna are actually pretty decent friends, with Jax as their middleman, and I think they'll stay that way. They have completely different backgrounds, but many of the same aspirations. (Oh, and yes, Alahna was about to spill when Nascha showed up. :D )

    The swift and exacting punishment was intended to be from Alahna?she's not a real touchy-feely person. Thanks for reading. :)

    Thank you, LM. I love writing Jax and Nascha together?it's just so natural. (As for the adorably geeky part, believe me, I know all about it. I've found that being a nerd is a lot of fun if you play it up instead of play it off. For example, during Knowledge Bowl, my teammates and I invented a "secret handshake"?using our right hands to make "L's" on our foreheads. This is more commonly understood as the signal for "loser," but it got quite a few laughs in the time we used it, especially after we brought home the Mediterranean trophy. :D )

    Indecisiveness at its most succinct. *bobs head* Oyah. ;)

    I think that the simple educational differences between Alahna and Nascha make it difficult for them to be jealous of one another. They're simply too different to have anything but a tentative admiration for one another.

    This post goes to Mom, for rolling her eyes and smiling every time I interrupt the conversation at dinner to discuss a new plot point (and for restraining her laughter at the rather ridiculous first name "Wedge") and to Mira, for courageously emerging from her lurkerdom. Enjoy!

    *******************************************************************

    Nothing truly enjoyable ever happened when Imperials defected. The whole process caused Wedge a headache and a great deal of stress, and he would almost rather the Imps stay wherever they came from instead of flying all the way to Coruscant to surrender a ship. He supposed the Imperial captain chose Coruscant as his defection point to make the whole thing into a show, and suspected the New Republic of sending the Wraiths up to meet the ship as a method of showing off no less arrogant than that of the Imperials'.

    This is why I'm not in politics. I'll leave the tiptoeing to Leia.

    Since Wedge was the official Officer In Charge when the Star Destroyer, commanded by Captain Ertil Garrec, had defected, he was given the job of formally welcoming the crew of the Inescapable to Coruscant. Hand-shaking and unfriendly smiling had followed introductions, and now Wedge had twenty minutes to spend stuffing personal items into a small bag before he was scheduled for yet another meeting. On his way from point to point, he had noted an inordinate number of sympathetic glances. Do I really look that pathetic? he asked himself.

    Sometimes, he thought sourly, I regret the day I first saw a starfighter.

    The doorchime rang pleasantly. "Come in," Wedge called, continuing to pack his bag. He folded a shirt, then looked up in alarm at a scuffling sound outside his room.

    Wes appeared in the door, dragging one foot, nearly tripped over a seam between the deckplates, and caught himself on the doorframe. Wedge did not move, and Wes pulled the chair from his desk, collapsing onto it with a long sigh. When Wes did not offer to clarify his strange behavior?if he's drunk right now I think I'll have to shoot him?Wedge decided to ask exactly why his second-in-command was stumbling into his room and helping himself to a seat without so much as a word explaining his motives.

    "What are you doing?" Wedge asked. "And why are you doing it in my room?"

    The younger man looked up, a haunted expression in his usually cheery eyes. "Is the room clean?"

    Wedge
     
  21. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Holy Flying Nerfs! The Wraiths are being set up, someone is trying to murder them, there's an undercover operative and quite possibly a saboteur loose -- what more can go wrong? Who would be out to get them? Who was the girl who gave Wes the orders? The perpetrator, or just an innocent go-between? And was Jesmin just a random victim, or was she specifically targeted -- say, because she was not human? So many questions!

    I really liked the way Wedge asked Wes to com him again after realizing that he'd never set his com not to receive calls, and the way they were able to figure out what was going on.

    I never thought of Jesmin's X-wing being sabotaged. I was sure that it was the result of being hit by something while up in orbit. This is a chilling suggestion!

    But I especially loved this line: if he's drunk right now I think I'll have to shoot him. :D

    Someone in true Intelligence ... would that be Airen Cracken, by any chance? (just wondering.)

    And speaking of Crackens ... Find someone who's willing to transfer from another squadron .... *grabs Pash's hand and waves it vigorously in Wes' direction.* "Over here, over here!" (Okay, just kidding.)

     
  22. Jaina_Solo_Durron

    Jaina_Solo_Durron Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2002
    Wes, a commander? *shudder* that's a very frightening thought...

    no, seriously.

    great post...more soon please?

    -JSD
     
  23. Guinastasia

    Guinastasia Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2002
    I know I keep saying this, but poor Face! I just want to cuddle him, poor guy!

    Although if I were Ton, I'd probably punch him.

    Wedge didn't give the order? SCARY!


    I love this!
     
  24. LadyMairead

    LadyMairead Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 20, 2002
    Nothing truly enjoyable ever happened when Imperials defected. The whole process caused Wedge a headache and a great deal of stress, and he would almost rather the Imps stay wherever they came from instead of flying all the way to Coruscant to surrender a ship.

    [face_laugh] I burst out laughing when I read that! Ah, poor Wedge?

    As for the rest, beautifully tense post! I was in suspense through all of it, and again I have to complement you on your pacing. Everything flows so smoothly, with never an awkward phrase. This is a wonderfully surprising plot twist, and I can?t wait to see what happens next! I wonder who the spy is? It?s not Nascha, is it? I don?t know why I thought of her, but she seems to be the character we know the least about. I hope not, as it would devastate poor Jax, and I?m really beginning to like her. :(

    Also, I particularly loved this exchange at the end:

    A pause. "Thanks, Wedge."

    Another pause. "You know something?"

    "What?"

    "You'll make a good commander someday."


    Brief, but very evocative. As much as Wes and Wedge snipe at each other, they really do have a sweet relationship. Wonderful writing, as always, Xaara. :)
     
  25. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Jane Jinn: [face_laugh] Holy Flying Nerfs? Now that's a scary image! And all I can say in response to most of your questions is: you'll see. The way I see it, both Wedge and Was are rather competent humans?no reason they need Intelligence to help them figure out what happened. Yes, as a matter of fact, someone in true Intel is Airen Cracken. If I had a gold star sticker, I'd give it to you. Since I don't, I'll settle for a round of applause. *claps* :) As for Pash, he's a great guy, but he's not going to fill that spot. I have plans for the guy who does, however? ;) Thanks!

    Welcome, Jaina_Solo_Durron! Yes, the thought of Wes as a commander is a tad frightening (can anyone say Taanab Yellow Aces?), but I'm sure he's up to the task. :) Thank you for reading, and as for the last part of your response?see below!

    If I were Ton, I'd probably would feel like punching Face, Guinastasia, but I'm not, and therefore, I'd have to agree with your first reaction. ;) Thanks a bunch.

    LM: Poor Wedge indeed! I'll not go into my list of reasons why Wedge Antilles should be pitied, as I trust you already know the majority of them. Instead, I'll assure you that his life will eventually get better?sometime around the end of Starfighters of Adumar. Thank you! The plot didn't really want to twist?plots generally don't do that sort of thing without forceful encouragement?so this scene was bit challenging. Although, to be fair, once I got into it, the dialogue between Wedge and Wes was refreshingly easy to write.

    Nascha? I don't think so! *looks at LM* Or do you know something I don't? ;) Maybe you're just prejudiced against librarians!

    *******************************************************************

    Face felt a need to throw something, and for once in his life, he succumbed to it. His comlink found the wall opposite him, its brittle casing shattering and sending shards of plastic flying through the air. His helmet and boots followed in short order, slamming against the wall and bouncing to a stop on the floor. The spare room did little to absorb the noise; the sounds echoed for a long time after Face flung himself onto his bed and curled up into a tight fetal position. Ton should be in any minute now, he thought unpleasantly. Or whoever next-door just noticed that, he amended, hearing the faint sounds of indignation from his neighbors, Kell and Runt.

    Surprisingly, no one came to check on him. No one knocked on the door, no one tried the room's general comm. The silence after his outburst unnerved him more than he would have liked to admit, and he solved the problem by flipping the switch on his music player. The symphonic melodies and harmonies that Ton regularly enjoyed filled the room and caused Face's eyelids to droop. This has been an incredibly long day, was Face's last thought before dropping into the bottomless pit of sleep.

    *******************************************************************

    The rage Wes saw on his friend's face was not something he observed often. Wedge's expression had not changed since he left the room, and Wes could not help noticing that the people they encountered in the halls gave them a wide berth. "Wedge, are you sure you're all right?"

    Wedge spun back to face his second-in-command. "I'm fine. That self-important secretary who told me I can't schedule a talk with Ackbar unless I show up in person?something about heightened security measures?will have an interesting facial structure once I finish with him."

    "I'm the last one who should have to tell you that you don't get far by beating up the secretary who stands between you and?"

    "Wes, shut up."

    "As ordered, sir."

    Mentally cataloguing the attempt at levity as a failure, Wes retreated behind his dutiful junior officer façade and reformulated his ideas. He knew full well that allowing the currently vengeful Wedge into a conference with an Admiral could have disastrous repercussions. "Wedg
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.