"Home Sweet Home" (A Jedi Apprentice Fan Fic)

Hey everybody! Okay, after a lot of work, I finally got my story ready to post. First up, I'm just going to post a little synopsis for you to have a peek at. Tell me what you think!!!

Synopsis:[b/]

A journey to Obi-Wan?s homeworld seems to be the perfect place to visit for the week off, and visiting his relations, the best excuse. Things couldn?t get any better when Obi-Wan persuades his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn to come. But, underlying all the pleasantries of the occasion lies a dark little secret, one that will hit home more than Obi-Wan could have ever imagined. He soon finds that when family is involved, the truth is not always the answer.[i/]

So, what do you think? Should I post my story?

 

A cruel teaser! (LOL)

Yes, you should post. Very soon in fact. Looking forward to more with interest. --AWK

 

Yes, posting would be good....!

can't wait to read it!

aa

 

Should you post? Should you post? Geez, do you even need to ask.........

YES!!! pretty pretty please post

I look forward to reading more of your story

~Susie

 

Hows this for an answer?

POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST!

This is a DO!!!!!!

PLEASE!

 

yesyesyesyesyesyes....POST!!!

 

Please post large chunks of this story regularly.

 

Gee let me think... to post or not to post, that is the question. I should say the answer is very easy......

OF COURSE YOU SHOULD POST, POST SOON AND POST OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yes! Please post! Don't let this story end up like "From the Outside Looking in" That's been reduced to a begging thread now! No updates in at least a month, very depressing!

 

Post only if your going to stick to it. I hate when the authors get blocked and leave a good story. So what everyone else has said post often.

 

WOW! Thank you for all your really sweet responses! I had no idea I would get this many. Okay, seeing as you're all so keen, here's my first part


CHAPTER ONE:

Qui-Gon Jinn breathed a sigh of relief as he took in the elegance of Coruscant hanging before him through the front view screen. He glanced at his Padawan. Although young Obi-Wan hadn't outwardly -or audibly like his master - expressed himself, Qui-Gon knew he shared the same sentiments. Home. Finally.

It had been a long, tedious seven months of mission after mission after mission, both were exhausted and both in need of a break. Besides, Qui-Gon was concerned for Obi-Wan, the fifteen-year-old boy was not used to such slave labour and for so long. It worried him. His Apprentice's crystal blue eyes no longer shone with the same childlike curiosity and sharp awareness he was so well known for. Instead they were dull, lifeless and completely drained of energy. He had to admit, he himself was tired, almost to the point of losing his clarity, but he wasn't that bad.

He needs sleep, Jinn. Let it go.

Realising he was still looking at him, Qui-Gon quickly turned his gaze back to the view screen but not before noticing the odd look his Padawan offered him. Although weary, Obi-Wan could still find the time to amuse himself at his Master's expense.

"It's good to be home." The adolescent stated, trying to ease the slightly uncomfortable silence.
"That it is Padawan." He risked looking at Kenobi once more and this time, caught his eye. Obi-Wan smiled and his eyes, for the briefest moment, seemed to shine just a little. Qui-Gon returned the look and placed an arm around the boy's shoulders, more to keep him upright than for the sake of a 'hallmark moment'.
Gratefully, he leaned into the embrace, letting Qui-Gon's strong shoulders and firm grip offer him the security he so desperately needed.

It had been hard for him. Towards the end, there were moments when he'd almost lost his head. Irritability had followed along with a successive chain of pounding headaches - all due to sleep deprivation, and he was still suffering. How good it would feel to finally get back into his own bed, in his own room and quarters with his Master.

Noticing the Jedi Temple Spaceport approaching, the Jedi Master headed for his cabin to collect his recently packed belongings. His Padawan followed, as always, close behind.

**********

There was an air of rejoicing and happiness as the two long-awaited Jedi hurried down the ship's ramp, Qui-Gon, straight to a messenger - no doubt sent by the council - and Obi-Wan, straight into the arms of his best friend Bant.

The two friends shared a long, grateful embrace before the need to talk exceeded them. They hadn't seen each other in just under a year - Bant herself had been away on her own mission when Obi-Wan departed - and they were both eager to tell one another of their adventures. But, despite how excited they were, nothing could extinguish the exhaustion clouding Obi-Wan - and Bant sensed this. They could talk later. Right now, the young Calamarian girl knew her long-time friend needed rest, and a lot of it.

Meanwhile, Qui-Gon Jinn had finished his conversation with the messenger and found that he had in fact been sent by request from the Council. Nothing could hide the frustration and anger on Qui-Gon's leonine features as he turned and signalled, rather brusquely to his Apprentice.

He sighed as the boy managed to untangle himself from Bant's tenacious grip and came to stand by his side.
?Padawan, the Council request an audience with us once we have unpacked.? Upon seeing the dismayed look on Kenobi's face that he tried in vain to hide, Qui-Gon added sympathetically and almost inaudibly, "I know. Sorry." Placing a hand on Obi-Wan's back, he ushered the boy out of the Spaceport and towards the turbolift that would take them down, towards their shared quarters.

**********

"How could they expect this? After everything you've been through?" Bant paced about Obi-Wan's bedroom, arms flail

 

I usually don't read JA stories (cause I don't understand most of them), but I like! i feel like Obi-wan in SS class all the time!

 

This has a very wonderful start. I could practically feel Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's triedness. Very nice written. I look forward to more of your story.

As Kelly said: Post lots and post often

~Susie

 

OH man! I'm yawning!

That's how effective it was.

Oh no! Don't get me worng. IT was A great post. Obi-WAn asleep on his feet was classic! I felt their tiredness!

 

Good start! I like the way that Obi-Wan is caught asleep on his feet in the Council Chamber. "Huh? What?" Good touch! Now hurry up with some more!

 

I really like this, fantastic writing!!! Can't wait for CH 2.

 

What a great start!!!!! Poor Obi, falls asleep on his feet in the Council Chamber LOL!!!!

Look forward to more!!!!!!

Don't forget to post often, our patients isn't up to Jedi standards you know!!!!!!

 

I loved it. I hope you post more soon. It is sounding like a really great story so far.

 

Pleeeeeeeeaaaase post soon. It has been a while since anything I read made me chuckle. My favorite part was the "what do you think Obiwan" part. I like Mace's observation that the question didn't need to be repeated since it was answered. (Okay, maybe working 3rd shift and going to school this summer has something to do with my ability to identify with the sensation of sleep deprivation but I still think its a great begining.) I can't wait to find out where we are going. (Well, I'm along for the ride on this story, I'll be checking it every day.) ; ) (boy, I miss those cute little smilies)

Thanks for the Post

 

Thank you so much! You have no idea how happy your responses make me! Well, I didn't think I'd get a chance to post more today because I was hit with an unforeseen homework load (yr 12 sucks!) But, I flew through it and have arrived. Here's more, I hope you like it.


*************
For once - Qui-Gon noticed as they walked in - their quarters were actually neat. His own especially, that in itself was rare. Obi-Wan on the other hand, his side was always impeccably neat - his Master often teased him about being a neat freak in contrast to his slobbishness. It was seldom that one could enter the Jedi Master's room and not find items of clothing scattered throughout or piles of datapads piled ten metres high on his desk and, as for his bed? Did he ever make it?

Well, now that they were home, all that would change. Yes, Qui-Gon was determined to make their quarters look as though they'd been lived in - not just a place they occasionally stayed at - like some sort of motel. Truth be told, he wanted a sense of homeliness, a sense of belonging and a sense - most importantly - of family.

Family.

Why did that notion stir something up inside of him?

Sensing his Padawan beside him, he turned and caught his eye. Not wanting to break the comfortable and somewhat relaxing silence, he mouthed, "Hungry?".
Obi-Wan shook his head.

Just as he'd suspected. In fact, now that he thought about it. Neither was he. So, instead, he went into the adjoining kitchen and prepared too steaming cups of Thespian tea.

He was laughing to himself as he re-entered the room and placed the mugs on a small table by the couch his Padawan was currently sitting on.
?Master? What?s so funny??
Qui-Gon plonked himself down, still wearing a large grin. ?You know, Obi-Wan. I think you started a new trend.?
His Apprentice gave him a puzzled look in reply so Qui-Gon elaborated. ?You?re the first Jedi, from my knowledge, to ever fall asleep, standing up mind you, in front of the entire Council.?
Kenobi groaned and tried to hide his embarrassment over the rim of his mug.
?Fear not my young Apprentice. I am confident they will have forgotten it.?
Nothing could hide the relief on his face.
?In a year or two.?
?Master!?
?What?? He put on his best innocent expression, the one he had been mastering for years and trying to improve upon with every new encounter of the adolescent race.

They lapsed into an easy silence, just enjoying each other?s presence and the peace surrounding them. But Obi-Wan?s mind was whirling with thoughts of what to do for the next week.

Until it hit him.

?Master??
?Mmm, hmm.?
He turned in his place to face him, blue eyes intent. ?I was thinking of visiting my family during our break.?

(i)Oh oh. Please don?t let this be what I think it is.(i/)

It was inevitable.

?I was wondering....?

(i)No.(i/)

?...do you want....?

(i)Force please.(i/)

?...to come with me??

(i)Damn.(i/)

He cleared his throat uncomfortably, trying to shake away the sudden (and unwelcome) images flashing though his mind. To anyone else, they would seem illogical, out of sequence. But to the Jedi Master, they were far too clear.

The feeling of long, soft brown hair beneath his finger tips.

Rough, damp green grass prickling against his back.

Laughter, as pure as an angel?s.

The freedom and joys of youth.

?Ah, Master?? The young Jedi frowned. ?I?d really like you to meet my mother and brother. Are - are you listening??

The older man rubbed his eyes and coughed, trying to cover up the unwanted retreat into his memories. ?I?m sorry Padawan, I?m tired. What did you say??
Without breaking eye contact - for some reason he felt that to break it would mean losing Qui-Gon?s attention for good - Obi-Wan repeated the question.
?Do you want to come with me??
?Ah, I don?t know if I can spare the time off.?
?But the Council just gave you an entire week.?

(i)Help me Force. Give me a diversion.(i/)

But he couldn?t escape that penetrating stare.

?I - I, um, was going to catch up on some spare work, you know,

 

Well first off, you use , but I believe administrtion took them away. I want the smilies back! Hey, that was great! It's also good to find another dedicated author who posts in the middle of the night just to humor his/her readers

(What readers?)

(Shut Up)

(hey, it's true! Your stories have absolutely no readers, Miana!)

You know what? Since I started writting Hidden Behind the Stars, this little voice keeps on bugging me.

( I do not)
(Do too)
(Do not)
(Do too)

See what I mean? It's almost like having Curly and Moe live in my head.

POST!

 

This is a wonderful post and I love the part about Obi-Wan's hurt voice and using it full force. Heavens knows I've used "that" voice before to get what I wanted. I mean, ah, I would never do anything like that...forget I wrote that....

I can't help but wonder why Qui-Gon has such a strong conviction about not going to Obi-Wan's home...hmmmhmmmhmmm....and also what those little flashes of memories mean....

Ohh, can't wait for more! Kepp up the superb work.

~Susie

 

Dark little secret, huh? The way that Qui-Gon has those flashbacks the minute Obi-Wan brings up the subject of his homeworld and his family, and Qui-Gon's fervent hope that Obi-Wan does not invite him there makes me wonder if Qui-Gon is afraid of meeting up with somebody he already knows. I like the way he tries to wriggle out of it, but gives in to Obi-Wan's 'hurt' voice at last. Now bring on some more!

 

How many times have my kids used he "hurt voice" on me and I have given in to them, very effective!!!

I can't wait to discover just what this dark secret is and what those flashbacks mean. Excellent post, very well written. I can offically say I have another thread I am hooked on.


PLEASE POST SOON AND PLEASE POST OFTEN!!!!!!!!