SWRPF Archive Hooper McFinney's RPF Bar & Grille 4.0! Now with a new "Bat-Signal" installed on our roof.

Can I help? *wants to destroy something*

 

Uh-oh. Vengeful pregnant woman wants to hurt me?

Hides behind throne

 

Don't hide, little person, I just want to play. Even if my black leather uniform doesn't quite fit me right now, my whips are in fine working order...

 

fear the dominatrix

 

I'm not a dominatrix. Just an Imperial officer who would like to test-drive our brand-spanking-new subtly life-changing room.

 

likes theres a difference

 

This is typical. I leave y'all alone for a few days and when I come back, there's a new bar. So what happened to the other one, in the end? How was the old Hooper's destroyed? I can't beleive I missed it.

 

Don't worry. This one is pretty much just the same, or at least it will be by the time we get done with it.

Except the bat-signal.

 

I would, but there's noplace else to hide.

 

*Comes to stand beside her Emperor's throne*

I see you!!!

*begins to contemplate which whip is the best for insolent cowards*

 

gulps

Runs into the daycare center.

Hahahaha! No mother would ever condone an act of violent whipping or shocking in here!

 

Wait a second! Those whips are weapons...and weapons aren't allowed in the bar!

Security! Take her away!

 

*Follows* I run the daycare center, you know.

Children, come here! This bad man wants to steal your toys! Now, help me take him to the time out room, won't you? *watches as 777 is overrun by angry, sleepy, screaming children, who prepare to deliver him up to her for punishment*

 

wrong, they could be considered um toys if you will, hehehehe

 

I am an employee of this bar. My whips are disciplinary measures, if you will. They ensure polite language and an absence of flaming. *looks innocent*

 

Children! Look! That Jello man over there has candy for everyone! And he'll give you all shiney new toys that you can hurt each other with, so you can forget about me!

Watches excited children mob Jello.

Slips away behind bar in the confusion

 

Well, some sathe or something for my swollen thighs would be nice.

We marched 22km before leaving Bosnia. Some brilliant UN commander's sick joke of a farewell. Luckily I tore my quad and got a jeep ride for 4km.

More rum...

---

[b]EDIT[/b]:
And through my power as an Official Canadian Hero, I hereby declare that [b]7-7-7[/b] will henceforth be known by me as [b]7-11[/b].

Thank you and Goodnight.

 

Children! Remove yourself from the Emperor's body!

*apologizes to GAJ* They're just over-tired... Otherwise they would know not to touch you. *turns to children*

Now, behave yourselves and show proper respect to your Emperor, then get back to bed.

*watches as children chorus "We're sorry, Most Grand Imperator" and shame-facedly head to their cots*


Hello, Jace. Long time, no see.

 

*Hands Jace more rum from beneath bar*

I once walked twenty miles in a day, and then they gave me a shiney brass medal for it. I was disappointed.

 

I didn't even get that much. Just a kiss on the cheek from some random Bosnian old lady. Oh, and a draught of German beer from an old Base friend.

//In the Army...

 

runs out the save the AT-ATs from being sacrificed

JEDIYVETTE!!!!

 

*watches Mitt run*

Hmmm, Yvette, I think he's trying to tell you something...

 

You know, for some reason I would have figured the AT-AT would be last thing that Yvette would sacrifice, seeing as in it sort of resembles a giant cumbersome cat.