1. MERRY "TALK LIKE A PIRATE" DAY! ARR!

Hostess files for Bankruptcy

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Jabbadabbado, Jan 11, 2012.

  1. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    The price of your flagship brand being the unfortunately named "Twinkie."

    Supposedly it's because Americans are eating healthier. Like the 350 pound man ahead of me in the grocery store checkout line last night. His healthier lifestyle included a 5 lb bag of Cheetos, 2 liters of Mountain Dew, 5 frozen pizzas and a half gallon of Edy's ice cream. No room for a Hostess cupcake in that healthy lifestyle, even though, comparatively...it's wafer thin.

    Congratulations, Americans. You have become so fat that a package of Twinkies no longer even moves the needle noticeably on your daily caloric intake. It just doesn't quite hit the spot in the same way as a dozen glazed donuts.
  2. Everton Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2003
    star 10
    His five a day!
  3. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    It's hard to imagine a world without Twinkies, even though that's basically what the movie Zombieland is about. The good news is that you can stock up now and save them for your retirement.
  4. DantheJedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2009
    star 5
    No more of these guys:

    [image=http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/hostess-mascots-300x120.gif] [image=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_GLWeJ6Lxb6o/RlEAMYvtzxI/AAAAAAAAAIw/x4MBu07P4sY/s400/kd-blog-jp.jpg]?

    Darn it!
  5. Sebulba-X •X C2 C3 MW RSA•

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 6
  6. Eeth-my-Koth Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2001
    star 9
    My chocodile empire is crumbling. :_|
  7. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    I had to Google "Chocodile." Never heard of it until this moment.
  8. Yodaminch Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2002
    star 5
    No more yodels? :_|

    Also, who will replace the giant Twinkie the Kid robot at my Stew Leonards? That thing has terrified children for over two decades now. [face_flag]
  9. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    In recent years, Hostess has tried to save the company through an expensive R&D effort, and they have made some real progress toward the development of second and third generation Twinkie-based desserts, like the Chocolate Twinkie Smasher and the Banana Java Twinkie Supreme, but it was apparently too little too late.

    Also, a number of years ago there were several innovative studies in Wonder Bread compression, but they didn't amount to anything new for the product pipeline.
  10. Darth Guy Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 16, 2002
    star 10
    Wonder Bread is basically Play-Doh in a loaf shape.
  11. DantheJedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2009
    star 5
    I probably bet being used by Marvel and DC superheroes to stop supervillians, who would practically give them away for free, didn't help matters any.
  12. Todd the Jedi Mod and Sitcom Dad of SWTV

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2008
    star 5
    As long as Drake's is still around I think I'll survive. Love me them devil dogs.
  13. Kiki-Gonn Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2001
    star 6
    Given the continuing fattening of America, this speaks to gross incompetence on the part of management.
  14. Ramza JC Head Admin and RPF Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2008
    star 6
    No more Twinkies? But what will county fairs deep fry?!
  15. Aytee-Aytee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2008
    star 5

    [image=http://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/0x0/0x0/0/6500743380020613043.jpeg___1_500_1_500_cb94de6a_.png]
    NEVER FORGET
  16. tom Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    uh, everything else?
  17. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    Dip the Twinkie in tempura batter, deep-fry it, then dip it in chocolate, smother it in bacon gravy, roll it in crushed Fritos, top it with two scoops of vanilla ice cream, mix it in a blender with 12 oz of Coca-Cola, add a half lb of sauteed ground beef, a can of tomato sauce, kidney beans, a sauteed onion, chile powder. Bring to a boil then simmer for 3 hours. Pour over rice and grated cheese. Stuff into a 14 lb turkey, then roast for 5 hours.
  18. tom Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    you lost me with the kidney beans.
  19. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    Obviously if you're from Texas you'd leave out the beans.
  20. Darth Dark Helmet Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 27, 1999
    star 6
    This year in Wisconsin, they served Deep Fried Butter. That is not a joke.
  21. Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 1999
    star 7
    Isn't that synonymous with "deep fried frying fat?"
  22. EHT New Films Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 13, 2007
    star 6
    Exactly.
  23. DT421 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2003
    star 5
    But... but what about the fruit pies! :_|
  24. Ramza JC Head Admin and RPF Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2008
    star 6
    Yeah, but Twinkies are the only one you can talk about without getting nauseous.

    And even then, only just.
  25. Darth Guy Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 16, 2002
    star 10
    Chapter 11 doesn't mean the company's going away. Just ask Donald Trump.