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Hostess files for Bankruptcy

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Jabbadabbado, Jan 11, 2012.

  1. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    The price of your flagship brand being the unfortunately named "Twinkie."

    Supposedly it's because Americans are eating healthier. Like the 350 pound man ahead of me in the grocery store checkout line last night. His healthier lifestyle included a 5 lb bag of Cheetos, 2 liters of Mountain Dew, 5 frozen pizzas and a half gallon of Edy's ice cream. No room for a Hostess cupcake in that healthy lifestyle, even though, comparatively...it's wafer thin.

    Congratulations, Americans. You have become so fat that a package of Twinkies no longer even moves the needle noticeably on your daily caloric intake. It just doesn't quite hit the spot in the same way as a dozen glazed donuts.
     
  2. Everton

    Everton Force Ghost star 10

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2003
    His five a day!
     
  3. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    It's hard to imagine a world without Twinkies, even though that's basically what the movie Zombieland is about. The good news is that you can stock up now and save them for your retirement.
     
  4. DantheJedi

    DantheJedi Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2009
    No more of these guys:

    [image=http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/hostess-mascots-300x120.gif] [image=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_GLWeJ6Lxb6o/RlEAMYvtzxI/AAAAAAAAAIw/x4MBu07P4sY/s400/kd-blog-jp.jpg]?

    Darn it!
     
  5. Sebulba-X

    Sebulba-X •X C2 C3 MW RSA• star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 11, 2000
    RIP Chocodiles
     
  6. Eeth-my-Koth

    Eeth-my-Koth Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    May 25, 2001
    My chocodile empire is crumbling. :_|
     
  7. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    I had to Google "Chocodile." Never heard of it until this moment.
     
  8. Yodaminch

    Yodaminch Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2002
    No more yodels? :_|

    Also, who will replace the giant Twinkie the Kid robot at my Stew Leonards? That thing has terrified children for over two decades now. [face_flag]
     
  9. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    In recent years, Hostess has tried to save the company through an expensive R&D effort, and they have made some real progress toward the development of second and third generation [link=http://www.hostesscakes.com/recipes/twinkies/]Twinkie-based desserts[/link], like the Chocolate Twinkie Smasher and the Banana Java Twinkie Supreme, but it was apparently too little too late.

    Also, a number of years ago there were several [link=http://www.badmouth.net/the-wonderbread-experiment/]innovative studies[/link] in Wonder Bread compression, but they didn't amount to anything new for the product pipeline.
     
  10. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2002
    Wonder Bread is basically Play-Doh in a loaf shape.
     
  11. DantheJedi

    DantheJedi Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2009
    I probably bet being used by Marvel and DC superheroes to stop supervillians, who would practically give them away for free, didn't help matters any.
     
  12. Todd the Jedi

    Todd the Jedi Mod and Soliloquist of SWTV star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Oct 16, 2008
    As long as Drake's is still around I think I'll survive. Love me them devil dogs.
     
  13. Kiki-Gonn

    Kiki-Gonn Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 26, 2001
    Given the continuing fattening of America, this speaks to gross incompetence on the part of management.
     
  14. Ramza

    Ramza Administrator Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2008
    No more Twinkies? But what will county fairs deep fry?!
     
  15. Aytee-Aytee

    Aytee-Aytee Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2008

    [image=http://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/0x0/0x0/0/6500743380020613043.jpeg___1_500_1_500_cb94de6a_.png]
    NEVER FORGET
     
  16. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    uh, everything else?
     
  17. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    Dip the Twinkie in tempura batter, deep-fry it, then dip it in chocolate, smother it in bacon gravy, roll it in crushed Fritos, top it with two scoops of vanilla ice cream, mix it in a blender with 12 oz of Coca-Cola, add a half lb of sauteed ground beef, a can of tomato sauce, kidney beans, a sauteed onion, chile powder. Bring to a boil then simmer for 3 hours. Pour over rice and grated cheese. Stuff into a 14 lb turkey, then roast for 5 hours.
     
  18. tom

    tom Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2004
    you lost me with the kidney beans.
     
  19. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    Obviously if you're from Texas you'd leave out the beans.
     
  20. Darth Dark Helmet

    Darth Dark Helmet Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 27, 1999
    This year in Wisconsin, they served Deep Fried Butter. That is not a joke.
     
  21. Jabbadabbado

    Jabbadabbado Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 1999
    Isn't that synonymous with "deep fried frying fat?"
     
  22. EHT

    EHT New Films Manager star 7 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 13, 2007
    Exactly.
     
  23. DT421

    DT421 Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2003
    But... but what about the fruit pies! :_|
     
  24. Ramza

    Ramza Administrator Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Yeah, but Twinkies are the only one you can talk about without getting nauseous.

    And even then, only just.
     
  25. Darth Guy

    Darth Guy Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2002
    Chapter 11 doesn't mean the company's going away. Just ask Donald Trump.