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How I would add Dooku in....

Discussion in 'The Phantom Menace' started by casusev, Jan 19, 2005.

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  1. casusev

    casusev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2004
    Before i start i do know there is a offical changes thread, however what im talking about is a specific change and how it would be done, but if im wrong by all means lock this topic, mods. Anyway...
    How i would do it is add a scene in, between Dooku and Yoda. I'd put it right after the scene where Qui-gon and the gang are heading back to Naboo and the Queen asks Jar-Jar for his help, and right before the scene where they arrive to Naboo and notice that the blockade is gone (Scene 151 and 152 fyi). So here it goes:
    151.25 INT. TEMPLE OF THE JEDI ? TRAINING ROOM ? NIGHT 151.25

    YODA enters the lightsaber training room. We see an old Jedi man in a lightsaber battle with two young Padawans, not much older then ANAKIN. YODA watches and waits patiently.

    COUNT DOOKU
    Good, now stretch out with your feelings.

    The two Padawans swing many fierce quick blows towards COUNT DOOKU. He easily parries the blows and then swings his lightsaber quickly, and precisely, to make the Padawan?s lightsabers slip from their hands and fall to the ground harmlessly. COUNT DOOKU turns off his light saber and clips it to his belt.

    COUNT DOOKU
    We are finished for today.

    PADAWANS
    Thank you, Master Dooku.

    The Padawans pick up their lightsabers, bow, and leave. COUNT DOOKU walks over to great YODA.

    COUNT DOOKU (Annoyed)
    To what I owe to pleasure, Master Yoda?

    YODA
    Your old Padawan was here, did you know?

    COUNT DOOKU
    Qui-gon? I was unaware. A shame, I have been
    meaning to speak to him for some time.

    YODA
    Speak to him when he returns, I?m sure you will.
    More pressing matters, there are.

    The two Jedi Masters walk out of the training room and into
    The main hall.

    151.5 INT. TEMPLE OF THE JEDI ? MAIN HALL ? NIGHT 151.5

    The Jedi continue to walk through the main hall.

    YODA
    Your former apprentice spoke of a Sith
    Lord, before he left.

    COUNT DOOKU
    Are you sure?

    YODA
    Said to be attempting to assassinate
    the Queen of Naboo, this Sith Lord is.

    COUNT DOOKU
    The Sith have been nowhere to be found
    for a very long time. If what Qui-gon says
    is true, this would be very alarming.

    YODA
    It would, yes. Sent Qui-gon and his
    Padawan to Discover who this assassin is,
    I have. However if this truly is a Sith
    then his Master still remains unseen. Do
    what we can to protect the Republic, we must.

    COUNT DOOKU
    Master, you are aware of my views. The
    politicians of the Republic are corrupt,
    you know this. By guarding them we
    undermine and betray our own ideals!

    YODA
    Both the Republic and the Jedi Order share
    the ideal of galactic peace, however. Trust
    the politicians to do what is right, we must.

    COUNT DOOKU surrenders the argument for now. The Jedi leave the main hall and walk into an adjacent corridor.

    151.75 INT. TEMPLE OF THE JEDI ? CORRIDOR ? NIGHT 151.75

    The Jedi walk down the corridor till they are out of earshot of anyone else.

    COUNT DOOKU
    What would you have me do Master?

    YODA
    Try to locate this Dark Lord, you must.
    I fear this may be somehow related to the
    disappearance of Master Sifo-Dyas.

    COUNT DOOKU
    I will leave immediately.

    YODA
    Great faith I have in you, my old Padawan.

    COUNT DOOKU turns and heads off. YODA stays there for a minute thinking then also departs.

    So there you go, any thoughts or ideas of your own? And btw i dont mean for this thread to become an argument about if this change should be done, rather how it would be done. Alright... ::Stepping off soapbox::
     
    whostheBossk likes this.
  2. rechedelphar

    rechedelphar Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 29, 2004
    good but 3 scenes would have been too many. He would have become a main character. It also takes some away some of the Kamino mystery.
     
  3. casusev

    casusev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2004
    Yeah i agree that its too long (its just a first draft of it). But with the Kamino mystery, i dont really think it hurts in IMO. b/c if this is all we see of him in TPM, then we hear about him a bit in the begining of AOTC. but (correct me if im wrong) ob1 goes to Kamino to try to find Jango, then hears about breifly about Sifo-dyas, which might click in our heads if we have seen this in TPM, so we could start to put together something of what happens, but how would a viewer know at that point that Sifo-dyas didnt order the clones? Then Jango tells Ob1 about Tyranus and that throws more questions. And we still dont see or hear about Dooku till later so i dont think it hurts the mystery imo, but thanks for the thoughts.
     
  4. Kwenn

    Kwenn Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 2001
    Possible Labyrinth of Evil/ Rots spoilers:
    [hl=black]A similar scene is featured in the RotS lead-in novel, Labyrinth of Evil. In a flashback, Qui-Gon speaks with Dooku before returning to Naboo, mentioning the Sith Lord. Dooku also mentions Sifo-Dyas, I believe.[/hl]
     
  5. casusev

    casusev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2004
    really? i had no idea, i havent read Labyrinth of Evil (is it out yet?)
     
  6. Professor Moriarty

    Professor Moriarty Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 1999
    I also think they should composite him into the Gui-Gon funeral pyre scene. That would be sweet.
     
  7. Strilo

    Strilo Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 6, 2001
    Yet again: Dooku cannot be at Qui-Gon's funeral because that would directly contradict dialogue from AOTC that states that Obi-Wan and Dooku's paths have never crossed.

     
  8. casusev

    casusev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2004
    Thus is why i didnt write him in the funeral
     
  9. Strilo

    Strilo Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 6, 2001
    I was replying to Moriarty.
     
  10. master_organa

    master_organa Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 5, 2004
    Very good, I love it.
     
  11. StormTrooper1776

    StormTrooper1776 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2004
    casusev:That is a awesome idea,I would love to see this added to it.Great writing.
     
  12. JMaster Luke

    JMaster Luke Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 7, 2000
    I really wanna see Dooku in EP.1. but having Dooku in the temple training jedi wouldn't make sense. Seeing as how in the crawl they describe Dooku as "mysterious"

    but having this mysterious guy show up at Qui Gons funeral might make more sense....who knows, just add him in somewhere :)
     
  13. casusev

    casusev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2004
    Strilo: i know that you were talking to Moriarty, i was just stating that Him not meeting Ob1 was the reason i went for an earlier part of the film.

    Thanks to master_organa, and StormTrooper1776 for the complements.

    JMaster Luke: Well again you cant put him in the funeral b/c Ob1 is there. I thought about puting this scene near the end of the movie, when yoda is on naboo, but that wouldnt work b/c if dooku was there why didnt he go to the funeral then? So thats why i chose to put it earlier.
    How do you think this would make him less mysterious? The only real character stuff i have on him in this scene is his political stuff.Most of which i took from the AOTC shooting script of the Lost 20 diolog. If that was in AOTC i think yeah it would have hurt his mystery. I think, that if in TPM that instead give him a bit of early character, so 10 years later hes still mysterious b/c we dont know what happened to him or why he left the order. Just imo. But whatever i too just want to see him in there.

    Anyone have comments on the scene itself? what you like/dislike would add/cut etc?
     
  14. black_saber

    black_saber Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2002
    I loved that scene too I just would not have him teach the Padwaens.
     
  15. BaronFel88

    BaronFel88 Jedi Knight star 7

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2004
    Good stuff, causev, the dialogue is pretty good, too (I can hear those lines coming out of Dooku's mouth).
     
  16. BothofUs

    BothofUs Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 5, 2003
    Good stuff...Kinda like Yoda discussing with Mace in AotC. But Mace is in the council. I guess Yoda talking to Dooku is justified because he was Qui-Gon's master.

    I also don't like the idea of him teaching a group of padawans.
     
  17. casusev

    casusev Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2004
    I didnt have Dooku training the Padawans at first. I wrote all the diolog but needed a way to introduce Dooku. So i figured that instead of him just sitting around doing nothing, so i had him be a duel trainer. My justification? Well i figured he wouldnt have another Padawan of his own, after training Qui-gon. He's also a great w/ a saber as seen in AOTC. So i decided that b/c he knows Yoda well, and hes qualified that the council would appoint him a duel trainer for Padawans that do not have Masters yet (like older younglings). So thats my 2 cents, but do you have any other(better) ideas for an intro?
     
  18. JMaster Luke

    JMaster Luke Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 7, 2000
    i wonder why George Lucas even bothered to put that line "its ashame our paths have never crossed"? I dont see why it would be a bad thing if they had met before. and if that line was never in the movie then Dooku could easly been added in TPM in some special addition.
     
  19. Strilo

    Strilo Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 6, 2001
    Maybe George Lucas thinks he doesn't NEED to be in TPM. And I agree.

     
  20. obi1jedinite

    obi1jedinite Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 20, 2002
    i was just going to say the same thing STRILO, i mean i think he makes a perfectly good enterance in AOTC and i cant figure out why so many people think he should have been in TPM first.
     
  21. openmind

    openmind Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 23, 2003
    Although I feel it is really not necessary to have Dooku, I just wanted to acknowledge casusev's attempt. :)
     
  22. Strilo

    Strilo Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 6, 2001
    Yah I think this scene is a nice little piece of fan fiction and I like it.

     
  23. obi1jedinite

    obi1jedinite Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 20, 2002
  24. ShaneP

    ShaneP Ex-Mod Officio star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    It's better than fan fiction. Lucas should add Dooku in TPM and delete that stupid line from AOTC about never meeting Obi-Wan.

    And put Dooku in the back of the funeral temple on the opposite side from Yoda and Mace...alone.
     
  25. Darth Sin

    Darth Sin Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 1999
    That was beautifully written. Frankly I have no problems with Dooku training padawans, but I guess others feel this way because of what we see and know of him in AOTC.

    For a long time, I actually felt that not only should Dooku have been in this film, but that we should have seen him speak to Qui-Gon, and that just before he heads back to Naboo with the Queen. My thoughts were that he would have told Dooku that he believed he had found the Chosen One, but that he also believed he was attacked by a Sith Lord.

    But I actually like this better. I do agree that it made no sense for Lucas to have had Dooku say he had never met Obi-Wan. To be honest, I cannot imagine why they had never met given the amount of time likely that Obi-Wan had been under Qui-Gon's tutelage. I found it strange that Dooku had to hear about Obi-Wan through Yoda.

    And last of all, if that line by Dooku had not been said, to have Dooku at Qui-Gon's funeral behind everyone else would have been sweet, having him look disgusted and turning away and leaving. Then hear Yoda and Mace talking about the Sith and then showing Palpatine. Imagine the impact of that scene when you think of the scene in AOTC near the end when Sidious and Dooku meet up together.

    Please Mr. Lucas, if you ever come hear and read these threads, consider placing Dooku in TPM with at least casusev's idea.


    Darth Sin! :cool:
     
    whostheBossk likes this.
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