I was consumed in a fit of passion to write that thing, for whatever reason. I'm glad some people here find it as amusing to read as I did in writing it. Reading over it now, though, I notice that it has a few things in common with The Big Lebowski... in which, of course, the Macguffin is a rug that "really tied the room together" and in which, as it turns out, there is no kidnapping, no money exchanged ("we threw in a ringer for a ringer!") and no threat of violence from the ludicrous villains. The only death is an accidental heart attack which was not in any way established as a danger in a previous scene. Events occur for no apparent reason (picture the "what-have-you" of the Dude's landlord frolicking on stage in a peach leotard) and the protagonist rarely if ever does anything laudatory or intelligent.