SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

Kitster and Wald actually do their high five correctly. At that exact moment, Tatooine, Naboo, and Coruscant all ecplode inexplicably, and the GFFA is thrown into total chaos.

 

"What a piece of junk!"
"Get the hell outta here, kid and take your old man and your droids with you!"

 

"YOU'LL BE EXPELLED FROM THE JEDI ORDER!"
"GOOD! I'M GOING TO HELP PADME!"

 

Dooku: As you can see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now, back down.
Obi-Wan: OK, right. See you later, Anakin!

 

Pilot: look one of ours coming out of the main hold!

Pilot 2: no I don't think it is! shoot it down!!

 

Owen: Have you seen Luke this morning?
Beru: Yes. He went to Toshe Station to pick up those power converters he's always on about. The Stormtroopers gave him a reward for turning over those stolen droids. Oh, and he said to remind you that he needed the converters to repair those units on the south ridge like you asked, so don't be all "hell to pay" and all.

 

ROTS​

Yoda "Destory the Sith we must"
Obi-wan "Let's take them together"
Yoda "going to say that I was"

Some time later...
In the Senate chamber
Obi-wan "It's over Palpatine I have the high-ground"
Palpatine somersaults toward Obi-wan only to get cut in half.

ROTS take 2​

​

Anakin tells Jocasta Nu that Palpatine is a Sith lord instead of mace Windu.
Jocasta walks to a computer console.
Anakin "What are you doing?"
Jocasta "If an item does not appear in our records it does not exist"
She scrolls over to Palpatine on the computer and clicks the delete button.

 

That's to good.

 

"There has not been an awakening. No one can feel it. The dark side or the light. Nadda. Zip. No awakening."

 

Qui-Gon Jinn: I'm Ambassador for the Supreme Chancellor. I'm taking those people to Coruscant.
Battle Droid Commander: Where are you taking them?
Qui-Gon Jinn: Coruscant.
Battle Droid Commander (acting confused to stall him): Uh, that doesn't compute.
Battle Droid (really confused): Uh, wait, uh... Sir, you know where Coruscant is. Everybody knows where Coruscant is. Are you malfunctioning?
Battle Droid Commander: Oh, that's right. Coruscant! How could i forget? You may board immediately, Ambassador!
Qui-Gon Jinn: Thank you.
Everyone boards, and the ship takes off.
Battle Droid: I can't believe you didn't know where Coruscant is...
Battle Droid Commander: Oh, I know where Coruscant is, and those humans will never make it there!
Watches the ship ascening into the Naboo atmosphere, pulls out a detonator, presses the button and laughs as the ship explodes in the distance.

 

AOTC​

Anakim "I killed them, I killed them all. Not the just the men, but the women, and the children too"
Padme walks away slowly and exits the hut. she then proceeds to run to her ship and contact the Jedi.
"Help! I'm with a psychopath!"

​

AOTC take 2​

​

Jar Jar "Mesa propose that the senate immediately give emergency powers to the Supreme chancellor"​

Everyone cheers, while Jar Jar tries to push the button to move his pod back but accidently pushed the forward button and zooms extremely fast at Palpatine who is too busy making his speech to notice.​

Jar Jar collides with Palpatine blowing them both up.​

 

Darth Sidious sneaks... slowly..... into his Master's room... and... is about to kill Darth Plaugeis in his sleep... when... suddenly... Darth Plaugeis WAKES UP! They fight and end up killing eachother.

 

The Emperor sits in his throne room chair having his morning coffee aboard the Death Star II. Closing his eyes, he mentally scrolls through his premonitions for the day of everything that will transpire according to his plan...

Sidious: (to himself) Rebel fleet arrives for sneak attack (cackles)...(scroll)...Luke surrenders on Endor...(scroll)...Vader throws me down the reactor core shaft...(scroll)...WHAT?!! (spills coffee on his himself, but isn't overly concerned about it due to the color of his robes, and then pulls out a comlink)

Sidious: Lord Vader, can you hear me?

Vader: Yes, my Master.

Sidious: Send young Skywalker to me...alone. I want you to go to the Mustafar system...again. (venomously smiles to himself)

Vader: (gulps) Yes...my Master.

 

When Jar Jar "boom da gasser, un crashes da Boss's heyblibber", he somehow wiped out the entire Gungan civilization. When Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stow away to Naboo with the droid army, there's no one to meet them, much less help them, and they are stranded on the other side of the planet while Queen Amidala is tortured and forced to sign the treaty.

 

Alternatively to the above description - the Gungans' don't have banishment; they practice execution

 

Daultay Dofine has a sudden burst of courage, and leads a mutiny against Nute Gunray and Rune Haako aboard the Trade Federation ships forming the blockade around Naboo, and withdraws the fleet from Naboo space. His last words to the furiously angry Darth Sidious hologram, before escaping into hyperspace, are "Stunt *this* slime, you crazy Sith b******!!!"

 

*Rey jumps on her speeder, desperation and determination in her eyes. She switches it on and it promptly explodes.*

 

Kylo Ren stops and ignites his lightsaber, only he's holding it wrong and the blade goes through him, killing him.

 

"Lord Vader can you hear me?"

....

"Lord Vader...?"

....

Palpatine: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

As it turns out, Jabba the Hutt also bet heavily on Sebulba to win the Boonta Eve Classic, and upon waking up from a brief nap, he is incredulous at the idea that some young human slave could have defeated the reining dug champion. Using his status as local crime-lord, he influences the race judges, with threats of torture/immediate disintegration, to disqualify Anakin's victory, and reinstate Sebulba as the rightful winner. The occupants of Queen Amidala's Royal Cruiser are soon discovered on the outskirts of Mos Espa, and the Jedi, the Queen, and all of her entourage are all taken prisoner. After Watto testifies to Qui-Gon Jinn's strange behavior leading up to the race, the Jedi is executed for using witchcraft to influence an otherwise fair, and legal competition to his own dubious benefit. Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi is only returned to the Republic in exchange for the release of several extremely dangerous Hutt Syndicate prisoners. The Hutts and the Trade Federation work out a deal in which the Hutts hand over the Queen of Naboo to the Trade Federation, in exchange for some unknown benefit. The Jedi are thwarted in their efforts to rescue Queen Amidal, as the Chancellor is rendered powerless after this new controversy, as the Senate, fearing war with the Hutts, refuses to allow him to act before the Hutts turn Queen Amidala over to Viceroy Gunray, and she is forced to sign the treaty. The rest of the Queen's entourage is sold into slavery and never seen again.

 

*Anakin lands behind Obi-Wan in the elevator*

*Obi-Wan cuts him down*

oh...it was you..

 

Instead of capturing Leia's ship, Darth Vader orders its destruction.

"Report to the Emperor that the Rebels no longer have the Death Star plans."
"Yes, my lord."

 

*Finn's unhelmeted head pops up into frame, he turns around, takes three steps, and falls into the Great Pit of Carkoon.*

 

The shadowy figure some have identified as Kylo Ren ignites his strange, hilted lightsaber, and is engulfed in flames when the hilt vents come in close contact with his robes.

And...

A krayt dragon, or other similar large reptile indigenous to whatever planet she's on, mistakes Rey's speeder for a fudgecicle, and devours both rider and speeder whole. The lizard is disappointed that it's not as cold as it thought it would be.

And...

A group of wookiee soccer players begin kicking BB-8 around until he's nothing but scrap.

Mysterious Voice at the end: "I guess there's not really an awakening, after all.... Sorry."