How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

Discussion in 'Star Wars Community' started by HeDoesn'tLikeYou, Nov 18, 2013.

  1. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Vader: The Force is with you young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.
    Luke: Really? Ok.
    (leaves)
    Smile_youS.O.B and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  2. Darth_Downunder Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 4
    Qui Gon: Who is the father?
    Shmi: ....You are!
    Qui Gon's head explodes.
    Jarren_Lee-Saber likes this.
  3. Merkual Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2013
    star 4
    Obi-wan: I'm looking for Dex

    Droid: I'm sorry, Dex passed away this morning.
    Darth Eddie, Mr. K and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  4. Darth_Furio Streak for Colours Monthly Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2008
    star 7
    George Lucas: So I'm thinking about a prequel trilogy. Start from Episode One. What do you think?

    Rick McCallum: No. Could you pass the salt?
    Mr. K likes this.
  5. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Palpatine: Now you will experience the full power of the dark side.
    Yoda: Already have I experienced it.
    Palpatine: Well **** this.
    BigAl6ft6 and Jarren_Lee-Saber like this.
  6. Merkual Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2013
    star 4
    Typho: well I told you Cordé, Padme needed you to be her decoy, look now, she's dead

    Cordé: better her than me
    DarthRelaxus and BigAl6ft6 like this.
  7. Darth_Downunder Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 4
    The Queen's Naboo ship enters Tatooine.

    Ric Ollie: "Look everyone, there's Mos Espa. I'll set her down just outside of town.
    Qui Gonn: "No, Mos Espa is a complete dump. We'll go to Mos Eisley instead. Besides, I know of a really cool bar there.
  8. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 4
    "I sense it too!"
    *Anakin runs into Padme's bedroom where the nasty creepy crawlies are are about to sting her. He leaps and ignites his lightsaber but unfortunately bumps into Artoo, goes askew, the lightsaber accidentally impales Padme and Anakin falls out the window to his death. Obi-Wan leans out the window and yells down at his falling Padawan.*
    "Anakin, you jerk! I told you not to rush into things without looking!!!"
  9. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Anakin: I don't like sand. It's course, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.
    Voice: Halt!
    Anakin: Wha-
    Voice: We're the Sand Police! You're under arrest!
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  10. Darth_Downunder Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 4
    Anakin "I killed them, & not just the men but the women, & the children too...er Padme, wait, where are you going??"

    Anakin looks outside & sees Padme frantically running away into the desert & never sees her again.

    [Personally I think this would've been a more realistic response rather than just saying "to be angry is to be human" !!]
    Last edited by Darth_Downunder, Dec 18, 2013
  11. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 4
    "You rebel scum."
    *Imp methodically shoots Han, Leia, and Chewie in the face*
    DarthRelaxus likes this.
  12. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Nute: She can't do that! Shoot her or something!

    (Jango does just that)
  13. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 4
    "The entire planet is one big city! Look over there, it's AHHHH!!"
    *Ric Ollie, distracted by sightseeing and exposition, smashes the Queen's ship into the Republic Senate building.*
  14. Darth_Downunder Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 4
    Stormtrooper 1 on the Tantive IV: "There's one, set for stun!"
    Stormtrooper 2 shoots Leia dead with a full powered blast.
    ST1 "What the hell man, I said set for stun! We're supposed to take these idiots alive"
    ST2 "Yeah sorry about that. My blaster's had a few glitches lately"
    ST1 "Well don't just stand there dumbass, lets flush the body out the airlock before someone sees it!"
  15. A Chorus of Disapproval New Films Riot Deterrent

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2003
    star 7
    Grasping the severity of the mission to retrieve the stolen plans, Vader leads the search on Tatooine, himself. First stop: Jawas. Last stop: Jawa blaster to his life support system.
  16. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 4
    "You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Shoot her out into the vacuum of space!"
    Last edited by BigAl6ft6, Dec 19, 2013
  17. Darth_Downunder Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 4
    Vader: "Commander tear this ship apart until you've found those plans, & bring me th..."
    Commander: "My Lord sorry to interrupt, but wouldn't it be wiser to go back to our ship & destroy this vessel from space? That way we will be SURE the plans & all of these traitors have been destroyed, & before they have any chance of escape. I mean after all WE don't need the plans back, we have our own copy of the Death Star plans. We just need to make sure this stolen copy is destroyed."
    Vader: "That is an excellent plan Commander. We will do that at once. Oh & Commander, this is what happens to those who INTERRUPT ME! [force choke]
  18. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Obi-Wan: These are not the droids you're looking for.
    Stormtrooper 1: The hell man? Don't you wave your hand at me! Is that some sort of gang sign?! YOU WANNA DIE PUNK
    (Shoots everyone)
    Stormtrooper 2: Dammit Zimmerman, I told you to keep your gun at home this time.
  19. Merkual Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2013
    star 4
    we have to try something a bit more subtle this time Xam, my client is getting impat-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *Jango falls of ledge to his death*
  20. Darth_Downunder Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 4
    Vader "We should allow these Rebels & the Princess to escape. I'll then send some TIE fighters piloted by morons who will make it look like we're not letting them escape but will pose no real threat to them. We can then track their ship back to their hidden base.
    Tarkin "No, allow them to reach their ship so that we have them all in the same place & with the stolen plans. When their ship is clear of the station destroy it. Patience my friend, we will find the Rebel base soon enough"
    Vader "As you wish"
    BigAl6ft6 likes this.
  21. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    Tarkin: You may fire when ready.
    Officer: I already did like 30 minutes ago.
    Tarkin:...
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  22. Darth_Furio Streak for Colours Monthly Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2008
    star 7
    Captain - "With all due respect for the Trade Federation, the Ambassodors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately."

    *Qui-Gon's and Obi-Wan's ship gets destroyed.*
    Mystery Roach likes this.
  23. Mystery Roach Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2004
    star 4
    Ahem...
    ;)

    Edit: My edit function seems to have gone all wonky on this post and I can't keep it from breaking up my quote.
    Last edited by Mystery Roach, Dec 21, 2013
  24. Darth_Furio Streak for Colours Monthly Winner

    Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2008
    star 7
    The devil's in the details. Nice. :D
    Mystery Roach likes this.
  25. BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2012
    star 4
    "Traitor!"
    "Oh, no, my friend. This is a mistake, a terrible mistake. They have gone too far. This is madness!"
    *Dooku releases Obi-Wan, gives him a tour of the Geonosian droid factory, apologizing profusely, and lets him call the Jedi Council to clean things up peacefully*
    "Master! Me and Padme got here as soon we received your distress signal... uhm, what happened?"
    "Nevermind."
    purplerain likes this.