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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

Discussion in 'Star Wars Community' started by HeDoesn'tLikeYou, Nov 18, 2013.

  1. Psych_Jedi

    Psych_Jedi Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 9, 2003
    Darth Maul accidentally walks into Palpatine's office while he's meeting with Yoda and Qui-gon about this and yells "Darth Sidious...I mean Senator Palpatine!"
     
  2. Worker11811

    Worker11811 Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2016

    Vader: They must be trying to return the stolen plans to the Princess. She may yet be of some use to us.

    Tarkin: No, it's too late. I just received a report that she's been executed, as I ordered.
     
  3. Worker11811

    Worker11811 Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2016
     
  4. ImpreciseStormtrooper

    ImpreciseStormtrooper Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 8, 2016
    Mon Mothma (devastated expression): "Many Bothans chose not to die to bring us any information. I literally have nothing here people. Anyone else know WTF is going on?"
     
  5. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    VADER: I sense something, a presence I have not felt si-
    *Obi-Wan runs out of the Falcon using his old speed Force technique, ignites his saber, and stabs Vader in the back.*
    TR-8R: TRAITOR!
    *TR-8R throws down his blaster and pulls out his riot baton and does a sick spin.*
    OBI-WAN: Uh oh!
     
  6. Ananta Chetan

    Ananta Chetan Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2013
    *Jedi Council Chambers*

    Yoda: Allow this appointment lightly, the Council does not. Disturbing is this move by Chancellor Palpatine.

    Anakin: I understand.

    Mace: You are on this Council, but we will not allow you to sit in one of these comfy red chairs.

    Anakin: What!? How can you be on the Council and not get to sit in one of those cool chairs?

    Mace: Take a seat on the floor, Young Skywalker.
     
  7. Dameron

    Dameron Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2014

    TR-8R stands victorious over the bodies of Vader and Ben.

    PALPATINE: Under the authority vested in me by the Rule of Two, and the transitive property of melee combat, I declare you the new Dark Lord of the Sith!

    TR-8R: (sick spin)

    PALPATINE: Yes, uh... of course, of course.
     
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  8. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    REY: Man, I'm really tired after all the scavenging today. Instead of eating my insta-bread outside, I'm just gonna hit the sack early.... hmmm, is that a droid buzzing? Eh, I'm too exhausted....yawn... Teedo probably caught a straggler. Zzzzzzz....
     
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  9. Psych_Jedi

    Psych_Jedi Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 9, 2003
    Yoda comes across Palpatine's Google search history...and finds some sick sith **** he's into.
     
  10. Jedi Knight Fett

    Jedi Knight Fett Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Feb 18, 2014
    Palatine turns out to not be the Sith Lord and things get a little awkward.
     
  11. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    Ben Solo hands his lightsaber over to his father. They hug and cry. Then, han says the fanservice line "Come, kid. Let's blow this thing, and go home." At that moment I am completely over Star Wars, and walk out before the end.

    Sent from my SM-T550 using Tapatalk
     
  12. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    Kylo Ren notices that FN-2187 didn't even discharge his weapon when ordered to kill the villagers, and orders Captain Phasma to kill him where he stands.

    She does.

    Or,

    Kylo Ren orders FN-2187 to come stand before him, right in the path of Poe Dameron's stuck-in-mid-air blaster bolt, and releases his Force hold on the bolt, killing FN-2187 instantly.
     
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  13. darkspine10

    darkspine10 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 2014
    Kylo disarms Finn, and goes to get Luke's saber. Instead of using the Force, he walks up to the saber and picks it up.

    He then proceeds to kill Rey with a dual saber attack.
     
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  14. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    PALPATINE: HE...IS THE TRAITOR!
    WINDU: HE...IS THE TRAITOR!
    TR-8R: TRAITOR! TRAITORS? TRAITORS!!
    *Hearing that two traitors are afoot, TR-8R dispatches both Palpatine and Windu with some sick spins. Anakin takes a knee before TR-8R*
    ANAKIN: I pledge myself to your teachings.
    *TR-8R nods approvingly. Later, Padme, annoyed with Anakin's sudden obsession with only sick spins and loyalty, decides to marry Palo and raise the twins by the lake on Naboo.*
     
  15. Psych_Jedi

    Psych_Jedi Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 9, 2003
    Palpatine gets investigated for excessive use of the government phone lines to a mysterious number...owner: Darth Plagueis.
     
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  16. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    After following the completed star map to the planet where Luke Skywalker is, Rey lands the Falcon on the island, and goes to look for him.

    After taking a wrong stairway along the path, Rey walks into a surreal, paradoxical M.C. Escher-esque paiting, and is caught in an endless loop of impossible staircases.
    Forever.

    Luke Skywalker grins in the distance, knowing his little trap worked, and nobody will ever find him.
     
  17. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    FN-2187 opens fire on the villagers, and is instantly cured of his sudden bout with his conscience.

    FN-2187 (v/o) Yeah! This beats the hell out of being a janitor! I was born for this!

    Humility is the only certain defense against humiliation.
     
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  18. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    Vader watches the very familiar scene of the Emperor shooting Force Lightning at his son, Luke.
    As the memories start to flow like a horrific mental tsunami, Darth Vader drops to his knees and curls up in a ball on the cold floor.

    He awakens, after an extended period of unconsciousness, on an Imperial Shuttle, to business as usual, the Emperor plotting his next move after the horrendous defeat at Endor.

    Vader looks to his left, to find Luke's corpse sitting next to him on the shuttle, and experiences no reaction.
     
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  19. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    *The door to the Falcon opens up, in bursts Han & Chewie.*
    HAN: Chewie, we're home.
    *In walks Khan Noonien Singh, who picks up both Han & Chewie in each hand.*
    KHAN: Why are you here? ...why?
    *Khan puts Ceti Alpha Five worms into Han & Chewie's ears, things proceed to go rather badly for everyone.*
     
  20. Psych_Jedi

    Psych_Jedi Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 9, 2003
    Plagueis looks up the phone number for his Sith assistant Yoba, but leaves a message for Yoda instead.
     
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  21. Ananta Chetan

    Ananta Chetan Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2013
    A rookie film student intern from USC that Lucas hires on the spot accidentally replaces the opening crawl for ANH with the one in GL's notes for ROTJ.
     
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  22. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014

    Since TFA was directed by JJ Abrams, it would have to be Benedict! Khan. :)

    As to how Star Wars could end in a minute:

    In The Phantom Menace, one of the Tusken Raiders scores a lucky shot on Anakin's podracer, destroying it and allowing Sebulba to win. Qui-Gon and the others end up stranded on Tatooine, where Darth Maul finds them and Sidious wins.
     
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  23. Winston_Sith

    Winston_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2004
    Watto knew all along that the hyperdrive he gave Qui-Gon was going to fail once his ship left Tatooine's atmosphere, and by the time Qui-Gon realized the credits were counterfeit as well, he was already on his way back to Toydaria, to visit his mother for a while until the heat blew over.

    Humility is the only certain defense against humiliation.
     
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  24. Psych_Jedi

    Psych_Jedi Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 9, 2003
    Palpatine slips off of Anakin having in the elevator shaft and terrified that he will reveal himself too soon, debates using the Force for a soft landing...he does not decide in time.
     
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  25. Worker11811

    Worker11811 Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2016
    Alan Ladd, Jr tells George it's just too risky.