SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

Oops, did I do this wrong?

 

Wait, I've got another one!


(Palpatine is addressing the Senate.)

Palpatine: The attack on my life has left me scarred and disfigured, but I assure you my resolve has never been stronger. In order to ensure the security and continuing stability the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire -- for a safe and secure society!

(Cheers resound from the senate chamber.)

Padme (turning to Bail Organa): So this is how liberty dies ... with thunderous -- wait! what!?

Padme is surprised by what's going on in the Senate Chamber. Donald Trump has just entered on a Senate pod.

The Donald: Yes, Lying Palps is right. We need a Galactic Empire bigly, and I'm the guy to give it to you. The galaxy I'm going to give you will be the greatest, most beautiful galaxy you can imagine. It'll be huge, even huger than it is, if that's even possible, and we'll surround it by a wall 1 billion light years tall. No expense spared. I tell you, this whole system is rigged, and what's with the Jedi anway -- what are they doing over there with all those children, though I'm sure some Jedi are good people. I'm the one guy who knows how the system is corrupt, so I'm the only guy who can fix it. Make me the galaxy's emperor, and I'll make the galaxy great again. Oh yeah, plus, Rosie O'Donnell's a fat pig, and Putin's great, and Mexican's are rapists, and Ted Cruz's father helped assassinate JFK.

Palpatine: You fool! I have cleverly schemed for 10 years to reach the position where I can overturn the Republic. Do you really believe that they would support you -- a bigoted, uninformed, incurious, inexperienced, erratic, vindictive, thin-skinned authoritarian buffoon? What type of idiots do you take them for?

The Senate: Trump! Trump! Trump!

Palpatine (reacting to the Senators): What are you doing!? This man is clearly unqualified for the position! He believes conspiracy theories! White supremacists love him! He can't even keep his casinos from going bankrupt, and those are places where gambling addicts hand over their money!
(Palpatine uses Force persuasion on the entire Senate.)
Donald Trump is not the man you're voting for. He's not the man you're voting for.

The Senate: Trump! Trump! Trump!

Padme (to Bail): So this is how liberty dies ...with ...with great stupidity!? Hell, I'd support Palpatine over this guy!

The Senate: Trump! Trump! Trump!

Once order is restored to the Senate, Trump is elected to be the 1st Galactic Emperor. His cruel and oppressive rule continues pretty much as it would have under Palpatine, but the Rebellion is unable gain support since Trump was elected in a free and fair election where Trump did not attempt to hide his flaws in any way.

All of Trump's ancestors end up ruling the galaxy as Emperor one after another. Empress Ivanka does extend 6-week paid maternity leave to women and hermaphrodites, like the Hutts, and that's nice. However, the Empire is never defeated.

 

Darth Nerdling

The Star Wars galaxy is a galaxy far far away for a reason. Please leave the orange cotton ball out of this, lol!

 

Jar Jar Binks is a secret agent working for Darth Sidious and strands everybody on Tatooine.

 

Watto wasn't immune to Jedi mind tricks, and they were able to acquire the parts they needed without Anakin's involvement in the race.

 

Rogue One Spoiler

Spoiler

The rebel trooper gets stabbed through the door and drops the plans on Vaders side

 

Instead of Star Wars, George Lucas writes the script to THX-1138 2: Run THX! Run!

 

Jar-Jar: Better dead here, than dead in the core. E'gods! Whatta mesa sayin'!

This causes Boss Nass to summon an execution squad, who eliminate Jar-Jar on the spot.

 

The big gun operators figure out a shortcut and fire 30 seconds earlier.

Or... They actually use that squadron of TIEs the DS I has inside to take all those noob rebel fighter pilots.

Sent via Tapatalk this was.

 

The night before the big race, Sebulba hires some goons to go to the slave quarters and steal Anakin's podracer.

Sebulba wins the race in his new podracer - the fastest ever built.

Watto has suspicions, but they are all outweighed by the fortune he wins betting on Sebulba.

 

General Grevious: Anakin Skywalker. I expected someone with your reputation to be a little...older.

Anakin: General Grevious. You're shorter than I expected.

General Grevious: Jedi Scum!

Obi-Wan: We have a job to do, Anakin. Try not to upset him. (raises an eyebrow)

Anakin: What?

Obi-Wan: Shorter than I expected? Ugh. Is that really the best you could come up with? (shakes head in disgust)

Anakin: What's wrong with that?

Obi-Wan: Here we are, confronting the Separatist leader, the general of the entire droid army, and you comment on his height?

Anakin: I did think he would be taller though.

Obi-Wan: (speaks under his breath to himself) Chosen one, indeed. (snickers)

Anakin: What was that?

Obi-Wan: Oh, nothing.

 

The Death Star plans *were* in the main computer.

Sent via Tapatalk this was.

 

Confident that Luke is old enough now to look after himself, Obi-Wan decides to relocate his hermitage to Alderaan.

 

Ya that never made much sense to me. Like your free to do whatever and since you are now free why don't you get a job and pay off Watto for his mother? eventually.

 

Contrary to Obi-wan's belief, the sand people are NOT easily startled.

 

Spoiler

At the end of the Battle of Scarrif, Red Leader veers off & flies towards the Death Star out of curiosity. He enters the trench for cover & notices an exhaust port. He wonders what would happen if he fired a torpedo down it. Is shocked at what happens when he does.

 

Luke never removes Artoos restraining bolt.

 

Yoda acts on the look he gave Palpatine in AOTC when he was convincing Padme to accept Jedi protection. Palpatine is outed and destroyed by the Jedi Council, leading to their destruction of the Sith.

 

Mace Windu to Anakin: Stay here in the temple. I'll deal with the Chancellor.

Anakin: Shrugs, says, screw that, I'm going to the Uscru district to get me some deathsticks.