SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

Good morning. Nice of you guys to drop by.

Echo Base, this is Rogue Two. I've got absolutely no idea where they are.

THE END

 

HUX: What... happened?
KYLO: The girl murdered Sn-
*BOOM! Another aftershock explosion rips through the Supremacy and blows out the windows and ejects Hux and Kylo into space*

 

TUSKEN RAIDER: You know these moisture vaporator mushrooms really are top quality. You can go home.
SHMI: Thanks!

 

Poe: The Resistance will not be intimidated by you.
Kylo: Too bad then. (stabs Poe in anger)
Me:

 

C3PO: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1.

HAN SOLO: Never tell me th..........

THE END

 

Guys in Imperial Ship in the first scene of IV:

Guy 1: There goes another one
Guy 2: Great, get rid of it
[end of R2 + 3P0...]

 

LEIA: "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my.."

Obi Wan fires a remote control at R2 and changes channel. A hologram of a local tv station appears.

PRESENTER: "Get your beers out because tonight is podracing night!!"
OBI-WAN: "15 to 1 on the dug. Very interesting"

THE END

 

"And Skywalker fails to untangle the two pods and its Sebulba who crosses the finish line to win the Boonta Eve Classic."

Qui-Gon: "Damn."

THE END

 

"Well Calrissian, did he survive?"

"Nope"

THE END

 

“Well, mi’lady, it looks like that bomb threat was just a hoax.”

BOMB GOES OFF - killing padme and typho.

THE END

 

Qui-Gon (to Shimi): Who was his (Anakin) father?
Shimi: I met a smooth-talking guy at the cantina one day. Never told me his name but wanted me to walk on the dark side and call him Big Plague.

 

Jango Fett: "I'm not okay with this cloning thing. Find another bounty hunter to do the job."

 

Becket: "Big shot gangster, putting together a crew."
*Han Solo undergoes spontaneous combustion on the spot*
Becket: "....huh!"

 

Rey: *holds out lightsaber*
Luke...
Rey: …
Luke: …
Rey: …
Luke: I have no clue who you are, or what you want
Rey: Luke?
Luke: ahh, no I get that a lot, I'm Jake...Luke moved on ages ago, he really doesn't want to be found, why he left a false map. Welp... time to go fish.

 

"The force is with you, young Skywalker. But you are not a J....uuuurgghhh"

THE END

 

On Mustafar - after Vader gets his arm and legs cut off

Kenobi: "I can leave you here to die this way - I'll just put you out of your misery." (Proceeds to stab Vader in the heart/force-push Vader into the lava)

THE END

 

Yoda (to Palpatine): We hear you used the Senate credit card to buy a bunch of Sith tattoos. What's that about?

 

Double assassination of Luke and Leia in first moments/scenes of ANH. Boom and Boom. Then Fade out. It's all over.

 

LANDO: All right Wedge. Go for the power regulator on the North tower.

LANDO: That's the East tower, Wedge.

LANDO: That's the West tower, Wedge.

LANDO: That's the....

The X-wing and the Falcon are destroyed by a fleet of ties.

 

Han: "I don't have people. I'm alone."
Officer: "Han.... Solo. Approved. Proceed to transport ID 83 for the Naval Academy at Carida. Good luck, Han Solo. We'll have you flying in no time!"
*Han is transferred to the Imperial shuttle party pod flyer department and does quite well for himself. *

 

[Legends Verse Complicit]:

Officer: "Lieutenant Solo, you are assigned to Captain Thrawn aboard the Vengeance."

[Solo is subsequently brought to the Empire of the Hand and never meets Chewbacca]

 

"Oh no, the rancor!"

The rancor eats Luke.

 

Luke: "Why is this [levitating C-3PO] not working?"

Ewoks subsequently eat Luke, Han, and Chewbacca. Palpatine does not die, Endor is destroyed. THE END

 

A Tie-In/Cross-over with Battlestar Galactica and then Luke meets Flash Gordon.

 

"Babybah system....Olah...."

"This may smell bad kid but it's an environment of bacteria that will infect your wounds as well as cake you in fluids that will freeze the second I pull you out with no way of me to restore your body temperature in time for you to survive"

The End