How to defeat the Vong (humor)

Discussion in 'Literature' started by Rebecca191, Mar 29, 2001.

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  1. DemonicJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2001
    star 4
    Make them listen to Grandma's old music :p (from "Mars Attacks")
  2. princess_of_naboo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2000
    star 4
    LOL! You got to love the Chewbacca defense!
  3. Dev Sibwarra Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 1999
    star 4
    Make them watch TV. They will become addicted, and it will force them to abandon their principles. :)

    What is this "Chewbacca Defense" that you speak of?
  4. Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 1999
    star 6
    Drive stakes through their hearts. Also, garlic!
  5. suncrusherX Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 3
    everyone in the nr pinches themselves and wakes up, the whole njo was a dream
  6. Corran9 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2000
    star 4
    When they get to Coruscant tell them they got the wrong Galaxy: "no no, you want the Star TREK galaxy, thats 3 down and 2 across." Then you see Shimrra bow his head down in shame and mutter "dammit not again, stupid damn map I should've known it was hoax when the guy that sold it to me couldn't stop laughing, but hey maybe the magical beans will show me the way!"

    Next scene you see the Vong attack a Borg "The Ultimate Insult to Vong Theology" Cube. And you hear Shmirra yell "assimilate THIS!"

  7. Wedge 88 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 1999
    star 6
    Have Emril show them the POWER of the blender!
  8. Corran9 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2000
    star 4
    Thanks Wedge you just gave me an idea. Have "Iron Chef" competion, winner takes all.
  9. KansasNavy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2001
    star 4
    You know those signs that say "Do not enter". Place them everywhere.

    Can't beat them, join them.

  10. bterrik Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2001
    star 4
    These are great!! [face_laugh]


    "Damn the torpedos, ALL AHEAD FULL!!!"

    As a peace offering, give them LOTS AND LOTS of BEER!!!
  11. I_Am_Thrawn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2001
    A cooking comp. would be gross, all those nasty slugs and stuff they eat.
  12. Wedge 88 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 1999
    star 6
    Not if the special ingredient for the show was crackers or something.
  13. KansasNavy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2001
    star 4
    Get them addicted to something. For starters, they'll can be hooked on phonics.
  14. ash_shack_II Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 2
    Slip 'em all a bunch of Ex-lax, then send 'em to Taco Bell with nothing to drink but prune juice!
    And put "Out of Order" signs on the john!!!

    Realisticly, just build a bunch of death stars, one for each sector, then when the worldships show up, just blast 'em before they have a chance to deploy skips or anything.

  15. Grand Admiral Wettengel Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jan 10, 2000
    star 4
    Send them all to Kessel. Let them discover Spice.
  16. Jedi_Cosmos Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 20, 2001
    Convince them that the people of the NR *ARE* their gods
  17. Corran9 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2000
    star 4
    Make them watch Joan and Melissa Rivers talk about skirt pleats. That practically drives me to madness.
  18. HIM_EMPRESS_RENEE Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 15, 2001
    star 2
    The New Republic or the Jedi should build a Sun Crusher or Death Star and blow their non-Force sensitive a$$ up!!!!!!!!!
  19. TheBiggerFish Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 4
    Tell them their gods dont exist, give them chocolate to binge on, and when they get too fat to move, send in Tony Robins to make them all go insane!!!!!!!!!
  20. Wes Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2000
    star 3
    throw off their groove...
  21. the_jaded_1 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2001
    star 1
    genetically engineer their food sources with inbuilt Vodka
  22. Jedi_Master_Allya Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2000
    star 2
    Send a group of hippies aboard each of their ships to share their philosphy, their music, their hopes, and most important, their drugs.
  23. General_H_Storm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 16, 2001
    star 1
    Play N'sync, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, etc at full volume. If grandma's music won't work, they sure will!
  24. AlienAcid Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 6
  25. Austin_Solo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2000
    star 3
    Tell them it's not nice to destroy planets, that'll do it! :D
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