How to defeat the Vong (humor)

Discussion in 'Literature' started by Rebecca191, Mar 29, 2001.

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  1. Rogue_Solo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2001
    star 3
    Paint their ships pink and put happy faces all over them. The Vong would probably shrivel up.
  2. Jedi_Cosmos Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 20, 2001
    Send me to them.

    That'll scare 'em back.

    [face_devil]
  3. DemonicJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2001
    star 4
    two words....

    "Richard Simmons"
  4. princess_of_naboo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2000
    star 4
  5. darthmalt16 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2000
    star 4
    Richard simmons- ok now stroke those yamosks.. c'mon give me 5 more. (to the tune of shake your booty) stroke stroke stroke, strke stroke stroke, stroke those yammosks (echo) stroke those yammosks.
  6. princess_of_naboo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2000
    star 4
  7. DemonicJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2001
    star 4
  8. General_H_Storm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 16, 2001
    star 1
    Paint all potential targets like a tunnel and hope that the "road runner" effect kicks in :)
  9. DemonicJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2001
    star 4
    pose as one of their gods and say

    "suicide is the only way we gods will accept you in our world"
  10. Piett_clone Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2000
    star 3
    No wait!
    Since their armpits are their weakness, give them explosive deodorant!
    "Strong enough for a yammosk, specially balanced for a warrior."
  11. DemonicJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2001
    star 4
  12. Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 1999
    star 6
  13. Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 1999
    star 3
    Do what they do to invaders in Ankh-Morpork;
    Get them to play a game of sabacc against Karrde, Booster and Lando.
    Before you know it, (to paraphrase Pratchett), the Yuzzies'll find out they don't own their coralskippers anymore, and become just another ethnic minority with it's own restaurants on Coruscant....
  14. Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 1999
    star 6
  15. darthmalt16 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2000
    star 4
    don't forget to add han into the mix
  16. _JM_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2001
    star 4
    Dunk them in special super strong Bacta (with some bleach)...
    "My Scars! My Tattoos! My Bio-Implants!"

    Or tell them that if they keep acting like that and aren't careful they might NOT put somebodys eye out!

    Or most unusual of all (for SW) engage their main fleet with superior numbers, technology, or tactics and then defeat them in open battle without flying into something and blowing up the main reactor. :p
  17. JediSilverstar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2001
    star 1
    Maybe the NR should introduce them to a space opera film that takes place in a galaxy far far away. They will become so obsessed with it that they'll spend all their time on the internet talking about it like we do and forget about eliminating the infidels....
  18. Jedi Bib Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 16, 2000
    star 6
    Exploit the Vong's one true weakness.... ice cream headaches.
  19. Alderaan_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2001
    star 4
    Have Yoda and Anakin Skywalker do all the fighting. You can't kill'em if they're already dead.

    put restraining bolts on them and make them slaves.
  20. Galleon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 26, 2001
    star 2
    God this is a funny post
    -Teleport the lady from the weakest link to constantly insult. ( though this may backfire as she may become their new god)
    -Make them listin to every priceline commercial that William Shatner ever did. Now that is just mean.
    -When the get to Coruscant hold up a big sign saying Do Not Open Till Christmas.
    - Introduce them to evil effects of Fuzzy Math
  21. GrandAdmiralJello Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    do not open till christmas... LOL.


    Tell the Vong that the gods are in mortal danger, right past that big black thing. You know... the one in Crystal Star.... yes, that thing.

    Make them watch Star Trek.
  22. Galleon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 26, 2001
    star 2
    Introduce Supreme overlord Shimrra to the little guy with the top hat from the monopoly game, so that he can convince him to finance a hotel on Ithor, a housing complex on Nal Hutta, and most importantly of all......If he invades past Bespin then the get 200 dollars.
  23. Alderaan_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2001
    star 4
    give on of them a mirror.
  24. Mateo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2001
    star 4
    Send a fleet of Jem Haddar (Dominion) Warship's out to destroy a large group of Worldship's, after they blow holes in the vongs ships have the ShapeShifter's beam onboard disguised as Yuuzhan Vong Warrior's and butcher the entire crew with ease, the Dominion would slaughter the vong!
  25. Balance_Point Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Give them all rubic's cubes and frustrate them to death.

    or

    Scare them away with an army of Furbies.




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