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How to defeat the Vong (humor)

Discussion in 'Literature' started by Rebecca191, Mar 29, 2001.

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  1. Rogue_Solo

    Rogue_Solo Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2001
    Paint their ships pink and put happy faces all over them. The Vong would probably shrivel up.
     
  2. Jedi_Cosmos

    Jedi_Cosmos Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 20, 2001
    Send me to them.

    That'll scare 'em back.

    [face_devil]
     
  3. DemonicJedi

    DemonicJedi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2001
    two words....

    "Richard Simmons"
     
  4. princess_of_naboo

    princess_of_naboo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2000
  5. darthmalt16

    darthmalt16 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 25, 2000
    Richard simmons- ok now stroke those yamosks.. c'mon give me 5 more. (to the tune of shake your booty) stroke stroke stroke, strke stroke stroke, stroke those yammosks (echo) stroke those yammosks.
     
  6. princess_of_naboo

    princess_of_naboo Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2000
  7. DemonicJedi

    DemonicJedi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2001
  8. General_H_Storm

    General_H_Storm Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 16, 2001
    Paint all potential targets like a tunnel and hope that the "road runner" effect kicks in :)
     
  9. DemonicJedi

    DemonicJedi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2001
    pose as one of their gods and say

    "suicide is the only way we gods will accept you in our world"
     
  10. Piett_clone

    Piett_clone Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 20, 2000
    No wait!
    Since their armpits are their weakness, give them explosive deodorant!
    "Strong enough for a yammosk, specially balanced for a warrior."
     
  11. DemonicJedi

    DemonicJedi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2001
    HAHAHA!!!
     
  12. Rebecca191

    Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 1999
  13. Opie Wan Cannoli

    Opie Wan Cannoli Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 1999
    Do what they do to invaders in Ankh-Morpork;
    Get them to play a game of sabacc against Karrde, Booster and Lando.
    Before you know it, (to paraphrase Pratchett), the Yuzzies'll find out they don't own their coralskippers anymore, and become just another ethnic minority with it's own restaurants on Coruscant....
     
  14. Rebecca191

    Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 1999
    Vong food? EEEW!!!
     
  15. darthmalt16

    darthmalt16 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 25, 2000
    don't forget to add han into the mix
     
  16. _JM_

    _JM_ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2001
    Dunk them in special super strong Bacta (with some bleach)...
    "My Scars! My Tattoos! My Bio-Implants!"

    Or tell them that if they keep acting like that and aren't careful they might NOT put somebodys eye out!

    Or most unusual of all (for SW) engage their main fleet with superior numbers, technology, or tactics and then defeat them in open battle without flying into something and blowing up the main reactor. :p
     
  17. JediSilverstar

    JediSilverstar Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2001
    Maybe the NR should introduce them to a space opera film that takes place in a galaxy far far away. They will become so obsessed with it that they'll spend all their time on the internet talking about it like we do and forget about eliminating the infidels....
     
  18. Jedi Bib

    Jedi Bib Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 16, 2000
    Exploit the Vong's one true weakness.... ice cream headaches.
     
  19. Alderaan_

    Alderaan_ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2001
    Have Yoda and Anakin Skywalker do all the fighting. You can't kill'em if they're already dead.

    put restraining bolts on them and make them slaves.
     
  20. Galleon

    Galleon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 26, 2001
    God this is a funny post
    -Teleport the lady from the weakest link to constantly insult. ( though this may backfire as she may become their new god)
    -Make them listin to every priceline commercial that William Shatner ever did. Now that is just mean.
    -When the get to Coruscant hold up a big sign saying Do Not Open Till Christmas.
    - Introduce them to evil effects of Fuzzy Math
     
  21. GrandAdmiralJello

    GrandAdmiralJello Comms Admin ❉ Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2000
    do not open till christmas... LOL.


    Tell the Vong that the gods are in mortal danger, right past that big black thing. You know... the one in Crystal Star.... yes, that thing.

    Make them watch Star Trek.
     
  22. Galleon

    Galleon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 26, 2001
    Introduce Supreme overlord Shimrra to the little guy with the top hat from the monopoly game, so that he can convince him to finance a hotel on Ithor, a housing complex on Nal Hutta, and most importantly of all......If he invades past Bespin then the get 200 dollars.
     
  23. Alderaan_

    Alderaan_ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2001
    give on of them a mirror.
     
  24. Mateo

    Mateo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 22, 2001
    Send a fleet of Jem Haddar (Dominion) Warship's out to destroy a large group of Worldship's, after they blow holes in the vongs ships have the ShapeShifter's beam onboard disguised as Yuuzhan Vong Warrior's and butcher the entire crew with ease, the Dominion would slaughter the vong!
     
  25. Balance_Point

    Balance_Point Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2001
    Give them all rubic's cubes and frustrate them to death.

    or

    Scare them away with an army of Furbies.




     
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