* Stick a stuffed Ewolk just out of the sight of his eyes, make crunching noises under his bed, and keep talking about how Lieutenant Ketch likes Jag and someday he might be as good a pilot as him. Then start commenting how Jag's reaction has angered the furry god and he may be required by ancient rights to kill him... * Keep talking about Thrawn's atrocities until Jag dances around and says "I'm not listening" with his fingers in his ears * Comment how steamy Zekk's relationship with Jaina is * Talk about how Soonitir Fel was a model imeperial nearly wasting 21 or so billion people on Nar Shaddaa before Han beat his fleet * Give him some blue face paint and red contacts and holotape him putting it on and pretending to be Chiss in his room * Keep asking if the reason he's going after Jaina is because no Chiss woman would have him * Pair Jag Fel with John Janson (Wes' Son) and tell him he has to create a team of super commandoes from dropouts and see if he goes crazy "But dropouts by their very nature produce an INFERIOR squadron!?!?! WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY GET THIS?!" * Talk about how the squadron beat an SSD and watch his head explode * Hustle him at Sabacc at every oppurtunity * Just walk up causally, put your arm around his shoulder and say "You know...I don't think Thrawn is comming back." * lock him alone in a room with his fanclub * Say how utterly depressing it must be that you are being compared with a man who murdered 20 million people, called the greatest hero in the galaxy a coward, and was viewed as a vigalante bordering on the Dark Side With about half favoring him over you * Keep asking for no reason if he likes Military Lawyer shows. * Have him get into a debate with Ghenghis * Comment how one starfighter squadron took Coruscant * Talk about his Clawcraft and ask him when he's going to stop using the Ugly and get a real ship * Poison him using Ewolk Jubba berries and nod solemnly and fearfully when they're identified * Say he'd be a great pilot if he had the force. That little Tahari girl is already past everyone in his squadron but him. Give her a month * Ask him if his father clone's had children with a clone of his wife whether Jag would be his own cousin * Ask if his chiss worship makes him a hipster * Arrest him for sedition at the Battle of Ithor and possible terrorist threatening of the Chief of State * Get 40 ewolks from Endor and stuff them all in Jag's room with glowing eye contacts while he's sleeping and then nudge him Props to Charlemagne19 for he originally created this thread in the literature forum. Hope your not mad I transfered it Axl.