ITT I tell you how to live, one at a time. @DarthTunick, it has come to my attention that you are having difficulty securing employment, but who cares. What you really need to do is get into wild animal abduction. This can be done at zoos while the other patrons are distracted. A good way to get them distracted is to run around naked. A good way to keep them distracted is to put cyanide in the water supply. When you abduct a wild animal, be sure it's a panda. This is because pandas are lovely and expensive and belong to China, which has nuclear warheads. You may have heard that pandas only eat certain types of fresh bamboo, but this is only due to their manipulative and controlling nature. They must be dominated. Months-old packets of Fire sauce from Taco Bell will keep them healthy and submissive. You will only have to keep the panda for a few days until China will show up on your doorstep, asking for their panda back. Use it as a hostage. This is no time to be sentamental. In return for the panda, insist that China invade. Then live in an area where the means of production are collectivized--none of this Special Economic Zone crap. Then you will have a job and also probably a panda, because it will have developed Stockholm Syndrome and fallen in love with you. You are welcome.