JCC How To Live

Discussion in 'Community' started by ophelia, Feb 4, 2014.

  1. TheModFavorite Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 2007
    star 4
    reading these gives me warm fuzzies in my chest space.
  2. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    They're very inspiring that's for sure.
  3. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    They're very inspiring that's for sure.
  4. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 6
    another ophelia philosophy thread

    seriously tho if you arent going through life as your best imitation of clint eastwood in every which way but loose, i just dont know what the **** to tell you
    Last edited by Rogue_Ten, Feb 4, 2014
  5. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 8
  6. I Are The Internets Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2012
    star 7
    What about Any Which Way You Can?
  7. Rogue_Ten Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 6
    look the key elements here are trucking, bare-knuckle brawling, and a pet orangutan. that's "how to live". right there. end of story
  8. DarthTunick SfC Commish on an "All-Star" break

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 10


    [IMG]



    I may need to get more...
    ophelia likes this.
  9. jp-30 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2000
    star 9
  10. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    My life is boring, fix it ophelia!
  11. Darth Guy Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 16, 2002
    star 10
    But I like some things. :(

    And it's called the Central African Empire, damn you!
  12. Jabba-wocky Chosen One

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2003
    star 8
    Ophelia you are wonderful beyond words. Me please.
  13. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
  14. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    @Ender Sai, you should become a double agent and use outdated parlor games to sell information to the Islams. All the NSA's wiretapping skills will not prepare them for the rousing game of charades and shadow puppets you will use to reveal the location of Western operatives within the Old City. Cause chaos and win 72 virgins in paradise while playing "button, button, who's got the button?"

    @jp-30, you were born in the wrong century. Amaze your friends and fulfill your deepest human potential by becoming a member of the Golden Horde. Riding roughshod from Asia to the Danube, you will serve the Great Khan by striking down enemy warriors, seizing their horses and their brides, and crashing a surpsing number of wine-tasting parties.

    @Healer_Leona, here is a plan for you. Real human skeletons cost about $8,000. Go to your local medical school and offer to sell them yours for $500, the caveat being that you get to keep it until you die. Once you have the cash in hand, go to another medical school and do the same thing. Sell your skeleton as many times as you possibly can, and live off the money in your old age. The medical schools will eventually find out you defrauded them, but by then you'll be dead.

    @Jabba-wocky, rent your disembodied presence out as an alternative to Siri, only prove your superiority by being evil. Siri has no free will and therefore is forced to be good. You, on the other hand, can give out driving directions that involve going over cliffs, slander the names of historical figures by misquoting their Wikipedia pages, and casually add things like cyanide and cadmium to Pinterest brownie recipes.

    @Saintheart, live in an ant colony for 12 years and make an Academy Award winning documentary about it. Make sure you get Morgan Freeman to do the voiceover so people will cry during the scene where a kid fries your favorie ant Herbie with a magnifying glass.
  15. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 8
    ophelia, fancy a torrid affair? I can't promise stability or long term romance, but a brief two week fling that haunts us for years to come? I can manage that.
    ophelia likes this.
  16. Ramza JC Head Admin and RPF Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2008
    star 6
    I must receive your wisdom.
  17. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 8
    I don't have Siri, but I would consider selling my soul and capacity for critical thought to get an iPhone that had the new AI, Wocki.

    "Hi Siri. Er, I mean Wocki. Where can I find the best icecream in town?"
    "ICNTYTT."
  18. GrandAdmiralJello Community and Lit moderator person

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    pssst, cannot is a single word :p

    A Bokassa loyalist? I guess she was right about you.
    Rogue_Ten likes this.
  19. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 8
    I wasn't sure if he did it as ICTY... or ICNTY... so I flipped a coin, so to speak. Wrong side, I guess.
  20. Sith-Lord-Gunray Ex-Mod

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2003
    star 7
  21. Boba_Fett_2001 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2000
    star 8
  22. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    $500? I know I can get more than that for my hobbit size bones! I'm so going to double that.

    Great idea though!
  23. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    Jello didn't like his, so I made him another one. :p

    @GrandAdmiralJello, continually write to your congressman that Tyrian purple should be added as a threat level to the Homeland Security Advisory System. When the threat level reaches Tyrian, it means that democracy has been abolished in favor of a gloroius Empire that spans half the globe. If the congressman says no, hunt him down and put white phosphorus in his lunch.

    @Ramza, tattoo so many images of the 5 Platonic solids onto your flesh that you can exhibit yourself as a sideshow freak. Call yourself the Monster of Math, and terrify circus patrons by chewing raw fish guts while screaming out the terms of Fermat's Last Theorem.

    @Sith-Lord-Gunray take a copy of Franz Kafka's "In The Penal Colony" to your closest CIA black site. Give them the story and offer to make yourself useful by carving images of terrorist incidents into the torsos of any detainees. Charge an annoyance fee if the CIA shows you pictures of another artist's work and asks you to make your carvings "look like that."
    jp-30, Sauntaero, Point Given and 5 others like this.
  24. Point Given Mod of Literature and Community

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Dec 12, 2006
    star 5
  25. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 8
    @ophelia, are the people SLG tortures for the CIA the same Islams I sell all the secrets to? Because I think that arrangement could be highly profitable to both SLG and myself.
    jp-30 likes this.
  26. ophelia Cards Against Humanity Host. Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    @Point Given, accrue fame and fortune by creating a musical dinner theater version of the Defenestration of Prague, starring Brian d'Arcy James as Philipus Fabricius and Jennifer Lawrence as the window.

    @Ender Sai: why not? :p