Discussion in 'Community' started by ophelia, Feb 4, 2014.
reading these gives me warm fuzzies in my chest space.
They're very inspiring that's for sure.
another ophelia philosophy thread
seriously tho if you arent going through life as your best imitation of clint eastwood in every which way but loose, i just dont know what the **** to tell you
I need to ask?
What about Any Which Way You Can?
look the key elements here are trucking, bare-knuckle brawling, and a pet orangutan. that's "how to live". right there. end of story
I may need to get more...
My life is boring, fix it ophelia!
But I like some things.
And it's called the Central African Empire, damn you!
Ophelia you are wonderful beyond words. Me please.
Live baby live.
@Ender Sai, you should become a double agent and use outdated parlor games to sell information to the Islams. All the NSA's wiretapping skills will not prepare them for the rousing game of charades and shadow puppets you will use to reveal the location of Western operatives within the Old City. Cause chaos and win 72 virgins in paradise while playing "button, button, who's got the button?"
@jp-30, you were born in the wrong century. Amaze your friends and fulfill your deepest human potential by becoming a member of the Golden Horde. Riding roughshod from Asia to the Danube, you will serve the Great Khan by striking down enemy warriors, seizing their horses and their brides, and crashing a surpsing number of wine-tasting parties.
@Healer_Leona, here is a plan for you. Real human skeletons cost about $8,000. Go to your local medical school and offer to sell them yours for $500, the caveat being that you get to keep it until you die. Once you have the cash in hand, go to another medical school and do the same thing. Sell your skeleton as many times as you possibly can, and live off the money in your old age. The medical schools will eventually find out you defrauded them, but by then you'll be dead.
@Jabba-wocky, rent your disembodied presence out as an alternative to Siri, only prove your superiority by being evil. Siri has no free will and therefore is forced to be good. You, on the other hand, can give out driving directions that involve going over cliffs, slander the names of historical figures by misquoting their Wikipedia pages, and casually add things like cyanide and cadmium to Pinterest brownie recipes.
@Saintheart, live in an ant colony for 12 years and make an Academy Award winning documentary about it. Make sure you get Morgan Freeman to do the voiceover so people will cry during the scene where a kid fries your favorie ant Herbie with a magnifying glass.
ophelia, fancy a torrid affair? I can't promise stability or long term romance, but a brief two week fling that haunts us for years to come? I can manage that.
I must receive your wisdom.
I don't have Siri, but I would consider selling my soul and capacity for critical thought to get an iPhone that had the new AI, Wocki.
"Hi Siri. Er, I mean Wocki. Where can I find the best icecream in town?"
pssst, cannot is a single word
A Bokassa loyalist? I guess she was right about you.
I wasn't sure if he did it as ICTY... or ICNTY... so I flipped a coin, so to speak. Wrong side, I guess.
Fix me Ophelia.
$500? I know I can get more than that for my hobbit size bones! I'm so going to double that.
Great idea though!
Jello didn't like his, so I made him another one.
@GrandAdmiralJello, continually write to your congressman that Tyrian purple should be added as a threat level to the Homeland Security Advisory System. When the threat level reaches Tyrian, it means that democracy has been abolished in favor of a gloroius Empire that spans half the globe. If the congressman says no, hunt him down and put white phosphorus in his lunch.
@Ramza, tattoo so many images of the 5 Platonic solids onto your flesh that you can exhibit yourself as a sideshow freak. Call yourself the Monster of Math, and terrify circus patrons by chewing raw fish guts while screaming out the terms of Fermat's Last Theorem.
@Sith-Lord-Gunray take a copy of Franz Kafka's "In The Penal Colony" to your closest CIA black site. Give them the story and offer to make yourself useful by carving images of terrorist incidents into the torsos of any detainees. Charge an annoyance fee if the CIA shows you pictures of another artist's work and asks you to make your carvings "look like that."
Help me live again.
@ophelia, are the people SLG tortures for the CIA the same Islams I sell all the secrets to? Because I think that arrangement could be highly profitable to both SLG and myself.
@Point Given, accrue fame and fortune by creating a musical dinner theater version of the Defenestration of Prague, starring Brian d'Arcy James as Philipus Fabricius and Jennifer Lawrence as the window.
@Ender Sai: why not?