Discussion in 'Community' started by Import_Jedi, Jul 23, 2009.
How to make TWILIGHT into a better movie...
Turn Taylor Lautner back into Shark Boy.
Get a cast who don't look like they're either really tired or really stoned the whole time.
I meant in the films.
Kristen Stewart looks tired
Mr Pattinson looks like he's been smoking something too much
He needs to sort that out
If they bothered to recruit better actors for the films (and if the general story ideas weren't so awful in the first place - Sparkly vampires fail) it might have worked slightly better. Emotionless acting never makes anyone feel for a character, and surely that is the point of it all.
Harry Potter managed this well in the film adaptations. The strong cast have pushed the films through even when some of them got quite mediocre.
How to make TWILIGHT a better movie, well first you would need to change its source material, the book on which it is based is by no means good.
I posted that as my status update on Facebook. Many people clicked on 'Like'.
But, but... I felt for most of the characters in the SW prequels...
As this is 8 pages long, I'm going to presume someone already suggested adding vampires to the story.
Or at least if you are going to have Vegetarian vampires, make sure they are actually...you know...vegetarians.
Reincarnated with ketchup instead of blood....
Okay....saw the movie....here's my take on it, copied from my Facebook....
The Eclipse of GBU: Neutered Werewolves, Emo Vampires, and Uninteresting Love Interests...OH MY!
This movie review is based on the MOVIE ITSELF. I have no prior knowledge of Twilight books or movies, aside from that it involves a supernatural love triangle and vampires that throw all previous vampire mythology out of the window.
I view movies as art...and open to critique as such.
It starts off with a bang. Some poor collegiate shmo leaves a bar....and is immediately attacked by an unseen vampire. After a nice chase through the streets of Seattle, the vampire catches up to him and he's left writhing and bleeding in the streets, screaming in agony.
HELL YEAH! THAT is how to open a vampire movie!
And then...it goes south. Quickly. We get our two main characters sitting in a field making goo goo eyes and talking about how in love they are. And they do this for....ever....for-ev-er.
And then the girl goes home. And she muses about how life is so unfair and she wants to be a vampire and yada yada yada.
Seriously? Come on movie, you give us a kickass intro....and then revert into a high school soap opera?
But then they cut to the vampire protagonists! The CULLENS! They are all decked out in thier finest Matrix black clothing, know kung fu, have taken their red pills and are being led by a blonde guy whose name is probably "Not Tom Cruise." Not Tom Cruise and his group are looking to search and destroy an evil Ginger vampire who is raising all sorts of hell. Okay movie, you have my attention again! A nice chase sequence which involves wolves.....
And then it cuts out to go back to the high school "SHE LOVES ME MORE" soap opera. And this is the sequence of the movie: kickass action scene/uninspiring love triange/kickass action scene/uninspiring love triangle. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Okay....this movie had a lot of potential....but just as things are going well, BLAMMO, it drops the ball every single time. If you were to cut out all of the jealous-rivalry- lovey-dovey-mugging-or-showing-off-abs-for-the-camera bullcrap, this movie would be GREAT.
It would also be about 20 minutes long.
THE GOOD - I could learn to accept the new take on vampires and werewolves. They really did kick a lot of ass in this movie. Or at least we are made to think they did...they didn't spend much time with them. The fight scenes were actually quite good, and the vampire backstories could have probably stood alone as their own movies (I myself wouldn't mind seeing a movie about the Confederate vampire...Jasper I think his name was....Of course, that would be...ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER)
Also, vampires have great choice in outdoor gear. The North Face, for the win!
THE BAD - Kristen Stewart. KRISTEN. STEWART. These two dudes are fighting over THE MOST BORING GIRL IN THE WORLD. I kind of wanted to see her die...just to see what kind of catalyst it would have for the other (far more interesting) characters. Nobody in this movie actually has a reason to like her other than hormones signaling she's ready to mate. Maybe its the half-open mouth and bunny teeth?
Speaking of other characters...the Poor Bastard at the beginning of the movie, Riley....there was so much untapped potential there. He gets attacked....and then is next seen as an evil vampire trying to raise an army. Turns out that Poor Bastard was being manipulated by the Evil Ginger vampire. They could have done so much in the way of character development....but they dropped the ball, in favor of teenage romance. A lot of wasted potential with these characters.... Confederate vampires? History of Native Americans' first contact with and subsequent blood feud with vampies? Woman raped by her fiance and his buds comes back as a vampire to take revenge? So much wonderful character development...but they are all thrown under the bus....for Kristen "Sleepy or Stoned?" Stewart.
And, also bad, are the jumps in lo
Werewolves have killed all the photoshopping in this thread.
S'okay. You weren't the only one. I stole it from from daughter's fb status, who stole it from a review.
Going to see it with a group of 20 women tonight. I don't expect a great movie, just a fun one. Also, happen to love the soundtrack, though the beloved Muse is my least fave track.
And just for the record, The Phantom Menace is still my fave prequel.
What I always find ironic is that Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson seem to have little chemistry together on screen despite apparently being a real-life couple.
Whereas True Blood co-stars Anna Paquin Stephen Moyer who are a real-life couple have a great deal of on-screen chemistry as characters, even if Sookie Stakhouse has one of the most annoying accents I've ever heard
I just saw this even though it's from months ago. LMAO Brandon Routh is awesome.
-sj loves kevin spacey
You want to make TWILIGHT better?
Send all those clowns to Louisiana and hook them up with the crew from "TRUE BLOOD!" Let the fangs and wolves and blood fly all over the place each Sunday Night!
[link=http://www.theonion.com/video/alqaeda-calls-off-attack-on-nations-capitol-to-spa,17688/]Al Qaeda attack would have been good[/link]
[link=http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/3885798/Man-found-dead-after-Twilight-screening-in-Wellington]Twilight movie bores NZ man to death[/link].
Alternatively, get a cast that is stoned all the time!
Cheech & Chong's New Moon. Written by Seth Rogen & Cheech Marin, Directed by Lou Adler.
Back-to-Back!: 2008-2009 & 2009-2010 L.A. Lakers: World Champions
[link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr-mh2DXpZo]Jacob and Edward finally stop letting Bella pit them against each other.[/link]
Twilight. $20 coasters.
100% better this way...
Yet another image thread to fix.
Yeah, you've got to do this one... it's hilarious.