JCC How to make TWILIGHT into a better movie...

Discussion in 'Community' started by Import_Jedi, Jul 23, 2009.

  1. CloneUncleOwen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2009
    star 4
    How to make TWILIGHT into a better movie...

    [IMG]

    Turn Taylor Lautner back into Shark Boy.
    Last edited by JoinTheSchwarz, Sep 8, 2012
  2. SithLordDarthRichie CR Emeritus: London

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2003
    star 8
    Get a cast who don't look like they're either really tired or really stoned the whole time.
  3. Jedi Merkurian ST Thread Reaper and Rumor Naysayer

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    [IMG]
    wait...wut?
    Last edited by JoinTheSchwarz, Sep 8, 2012
  4. SithLordDarthRichie CR Emeritus: London

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2003
    star 8
    I meant in the films.

    [IMG]
    Kristen Stewart looks tired

    [IMG]
    And again...

    [IMG]
    Mr Pattinson looks like he's been smoking something too much

    [IMG]
    He needs to sort that out :p

    If they bothered to recruit better actors for the films (and if the general story ideas weren't so awful in the first place - Sparkly vampires fail) it might have worked slightly better. Emotionless acting never makes anyone feel for a character, and surely that is the point of it all.

    Harry Potter managed this well in the film adaptations. The strong cast have pushed the films through even when some of them got quite mediocre.
    Last edited by JoinTheSchwarz, Sep 8, 2012
  5. MarkVader1991 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2010
    star 3
    How to make TWILIGHT a better movie, well first you would need to change its source material, the book on which it is based is by no means good.
  6. Import_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2001
    star 6
    I posted that as my status update on Facebook. Many people clicked on 'Like'.

    But, but... I felt for most of the characters in the SW prequels... [face_worried]

    :p
  7. Lowbacca_1977 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2006
    star 6
    As this is 8 pages long, I'm going to presume someone already suggested adding vampires to the story.
  8. Aytee-Aytee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2008
    star 5
    Or at least if you are going to have Vegetarian vampires, make sure they are actually...you know...vegetarians.
    [IMG]
    Reincarnated with ketchup instead of blood....
    Last edited by JoinTheSchwarz, Sep 8, 2012
  9. Aytee-Aytee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2008
    star 5
    Okay....saw the movie....here's my take on it, copied from my Facebook....

    The Eclipse of GBU: Neutered Werewolves, Emo Vampires, and Uninteresting Love Interests...OH MY!


    DISCLAIMER!

    This movie review is based on the MOVIE ITSELF. I have no prior knowledge of Twilight books or movies, aside from that it involves a supernatural love triangle and vampires that throw all previous vampire mythology out of the window.
    I view movies as art...and open to critique as such.

    It starts off with a bang. Some poor collegiate shmo leaves a bar....and is immediately attacked by an unseen vampire. After a nice chase through the streets of Seattle, the vampire catches up to him and he's left writhing and bleeding in the streets, screaming in agony.
    HELL YEAH! THAT is how to open a vampire movie!

    And then...it goes south. Quickly. We get our two main characters sitting in a field making goo goo eyes and talking about how in love they are. And they do this for....ever....for-ev-er.
    And then the girl goes home. And she muses about how life is so unfair and she wants to be a vampire and yada yada yada.

    ????

    Seriously? Come on movie, you give us a kickass intro....and then revert into a high school soap opera?

    But then they cut to the vampire protagonists! The CULLENS! They are all decked out in thier finest Matrix black clothing, know kung fu, have taken their red pills and are being led by a blonde guy whose name is probably "Not Tom Cruise." Not Tom Cruise and his group are looking to search and destroy an evil Ginger vampire who is raising all sorts of hell. Okay movie, you have my attention again! A nice chase sequence which involves wolves.....

    And then it cuts out to go back to the high school "SHE LOVES ME MORE" soap opera. And this is the sequence of the movie: kickass action scene/uninspiring love triange/kickass action scene/uninspiring love triangle. Wash, rinse, repeat.

    *groooan*

    Okay....this movie had a lot of potential....but just as things are going well, BLAMMO, it drops the ball every single time. If you were to cut out all of the jealous-rivalry- lovey-dovey-mugging-or-showing-off-abs-for-the-camera bullcrap, this movie would be GREAT.

    It would also be about 20 minutes long.

    THE GOOD - I could learn to accept the new take on vampires and werewolves. They really did kick a lot of ass in this movie. Or at least we are made to think they did...they didn't spend much time with them. The fight scenes were actually quite good, and the vampire backstories could have probably stood alone as their own movies (I myself wouldn't mind seeing a movie about the Confederate vampire...Jasper I think his name was....Of course, that would be...ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER)
    Also, vampires have great choice in outdoor gear. The North Face, for the win!

    THE BAD - Kristen Stewart. KRISTEN. STEWART. These two dudes are fighting over THE MOST BORING GIRL IN THE WORLD. I kind of wanted to see her die...just to see what kind of catalyst it would have for the other (far more interesting) characters. Nobody in this movie actually has a reason to like her other than hormones signaling she's ready to mate. Maybe its the half-open mouth and bunny teeth?
    Speaking of other characters...the Poor Bastard at the beginning of the movie, Riley....there was so much untapped potential there. He gets attacked....and then is next seen as an evil vampire trying to raise an army. Turns out that Poor Bastard was being manipulated by the Evil Ginger vampire. They could have done so much in the way of character development....but they dropped the ball, in favor of teenage romance. A lot of wasted potential with these characters.... Confederate vampires? History of Native Americans' first contact with and subsequent blood feud with vampies? Woman raped by her fiance and his buds comes back as a vampire to take revenge? So much wonderful character development...but they are all thrown under the bus....for Kristen "Sleepy or Stoned?" Stewart.

    And, also bad, are the jumps in lo
  10. jp-30 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2000
    star 10
    Werewolves have killed all the photoshopping in this thread. :(
  11. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    S'okay. You weren't the only one. I stole it from from daughter's fb status, who stole it from a review. :p

    Going to see it with a group of 20 women tonight. I don't expect a great movie, just a fun one. Also, happen to love the soundtrack, though the beloved Muse is my least fave track.

    And just for the record, The Phantom Menace is still my fave prequel. :p
  12. Jedi Merkurian ST Thread Reaper and Rumor Naysayer

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    NIAWYC
    Last edited by JoinTheSchwarz, Sep 8, 2012
  13. SithLordDarthRichie CR Emeritus: London

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2003
    star 8
    What I always find ironic is that Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson seem to have little chemistry together on screen despite apparently being a real-life couple.

    Whereas True Blood co-stars Anna Paquin Stephen Moyer who are a real-life couple have a great deal of on-screen chemistry as characters, even if Sookie Stakhouse has one of the most annoying accents I've ever heard :p
  14. solojones Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 9
    I just saw this even though it's from months ago. LMAO Brandon Routh is awesome.

    -sj loves kevin spacey
  15. Jack1138 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 8, 2005
    star 5
    You want to make TWILIGHT better?

    Send all those clowns to Louisiana and hook them up with the crew from "TRUE BLOOD!" Let the fangs and wolves and blood fly all over the place each Sunday Night! [face_laugh]

    [face_devil]
  16. jp-30 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2000
    star 10
    [link=http://www.theonion.com/video/alqaeda-calls-off-attack-on-nations-capitol-to-spa,17688/]Al Qaeda attack would have been good[/link]
  17. jp-30 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2000
    star 10
    [link=http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/3885798/Man-found-dead-after-Twilight-screening-in-Wellington]Twilight movie bores NZ man to death[/link].

  18. Mustafar_66 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2005
    star 5
    Alternatively, get a cast that is stoned all the time!
  19. DarthTunick SfC Part III Commissioner

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 10
    Cheech & Chong's New Moon. Written by Seth Rogen & Cheech Marin, Directed by Lou Adler.

    Back-to-Back!: 2008-2009 & 2009-2010 L.A. Lakers: World Champions:cool:
  20. Aytee-Aytee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2008
    star 5
    [link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr-mh2DXpZo]Jacob and Edward finally stop letting Bella pit them against each other.[/link]
  21. imperial_dork Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2003
    star 6
    [IMG]
    Last edited by JoinTheSchwarz, Sep 8, 2012
  22. jedi_john_33 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2003
    star 7
  23. harpua Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 9
    100% better this way...

  24. JoinTheSchwarz Comms Admin & Community Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 2002
    star 8
    Yet another image thread to fix. :oops:
  25. harpua Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 9
    Yeah, you've got to do this one... it's hilarious.