Abq How will you expire?

The Empire is pleased to announce the destruction of the notorious rebel BrotherHalo, who 6 days ago was savagely vaporized by a probe droid. This incident occurred in a shipyard on the planet Dantooine. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Prepare to make the jump to light speed!" just before expiring. BrotherHalo was reportedly accompanied by an annoying Gungan who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will torture some people with an interrogation droid.



Star Wars Random Obit Generator of Doom

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the expiration of the notorious rebel Starkiller454, who 7 days ago was murderously trampled with an AT-AT by Asajj Ventress. This incident occurred in an Imperial outpost on the planet Dagoba. The deceased was reported to have shouted "That doesn't sound so bad..." just before expiring. Starkiller454 was reportedly accompanied by several jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will take the Death Star for a pleasure cruise.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the termination of the notorious rebel Gecko Fett, who 4 days ago was completely shot down in a fighter by the Trade Federation. This incident occurred in an Imperial detention center on the planet Naboo. The deceased was reported to have shouted "No! It's o.k., I got it!" just before expiring. Gecko Fett was reportedly accompanied by a beat-up astromech droid who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will take a day off for golf with the admirals.

 

The rumours of my demise are greatly exaggerated!

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the demise of the notorious rebel varza, who 10 days ago was completely forced to crash on a speederbike by a Sith apprentice. This incident occurred in a small hut on the planet Alderaan. The deceased was reported to have shouted "I'm your father!" just before expiring. varza was reportedly accompanied by a bearded old jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will sing the imperial anthem.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the extermination of the notorious rebel Shaak_Vi, who 9 days ago was ruthlessly choked to death with the Force by a snow stormtrooper. This incident occurred in a stinky swamp on the third moon of Endor. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Tell that slime worm ridden piece of filth he'll get no such pleasure from us!" just before expiring. Shaak_Vi was reportedly accompanied by a little green jedi who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will redecorate his office.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the extermination of the notorious rebel cyndilt76, who 6 days ago was maliciously crushed in a trash compactor by a stormtrooper. This incident occurred in a secret rebel base on the planet Dagoba. The deceased was reported to have shouted "I'm your father!" just before expiring. cyndilt76 was reportedly accompanied by a Mon Calamari captain who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will put a new coat of paint on the Death Star.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the demise of the notorious rebel lor, who 3 days ago was savagely dismembered with a lightsaber by Darth Vader. This incident occurred in an Imperial outpost on the planet Tatooine. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Tell that slime worm ridden piece of filth he'll get no such pleasure from us!" just before expiring. lor was reportedly accompanied by an annoying Gungan who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will feed someone to something.

-lor

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the demise of the notorious rebel Hairlesswookie, who 4 days ago was callously disintegrated with a thermal detonator by Emperor Palpatine. This incident occurred in an Imperial shipyard on the planet Onderon. The deceased was reported to have shouted "I'm coming, Ben!" just before expiring. Hairlesswookie was reportedly accompanied by a roguish smuggler who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will declare himself the baddest dude in the galaxy.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the termination of the notorious rebel obi-chris-kenobi, who 4 days ago was helplessly blown to smithereens by Boba Fett. This incident occurred in a smuggler's hideout on the planet Alderaan. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Yoda lives!" just before expiring. obi-chris-kenobi was reportedly accompanied by a beat-up astromech droid who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will redecorate his office.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the eradication of the notorious rebel SithLordAaron, who 3 days ago was murderously frozen in carbonite by Greedo. This incident occurred in an arid desert on the planet Yavin. The deceased was reported to have shouted "The secret rebel base is on...!" just before expiring. SithLordAaron was reportedly accompanied by an underage princess in a white exercise suit who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will take a day off for golf with the admirals.

Or how 'bout this?

The Empire is pleased to announce the death of the notorious rebel SithLordAaron, who 8 days ago was brutally cut in half by Darth Maul. This incident occurred in a smuggler's hideout on the third moon of Endor. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Oh, yeah? Watch this!" just before expiring. SithLordAaron was reportedly accompanied by several Ewoks who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will put a new coat of paint on the Death Star.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the destruction of the notorious rebel EvilPrincess, who 5 days ago was ruthlessly cut in half by a stormtrooper. This incident occurred in an Imperial shipyard on the planet Naboo. The deceased was reported to have shouted "I just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever." just before expiring. EvilPrincess was reportedly accompanied by an annoying Gungan who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will destroy a small planet.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the extermination of the notorious rebel Propgeek, who 7 days ago was absolutely cut in half by Dengar. This incident occurred in a stinky swamp on the planet Naboo. The deceased was reported to have shouted "This one's for Jar-Jar!" just before expiring. Propgeek was reportedly accompanied by some kid from Tatooine who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will destroy a small planet.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the extermination of the notorious rebel DarthJen, who 8 days ago was completely disintegrated with a thermal detonator by a squad of stormtroopers. This incident occurred in a shipyard on the planet Yavin. The deceased was reported to have shouted "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine." just before expiring. DarthJen was reportedly accompanied by an annoying Gungan who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will declare a new Imperial holiday called "We Killed the Rebel Day".

Took a whole squad to take me down.

 

black8ight...Swarmed by ewoks

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the annihilation of the notorious rebel Qui-Gon-Matt, who 7 days ago was helplessly killed in a lightsaber duel by Darth Vader. This incident occurred in a secret rebel base on the planet Telos. The deceased was reported to have shouted "FREEEEBIRRRRDD!" just before expiring. Qui-Gon-Matt was reportedly accompanied by a manpanion in an Ephant Mon thong. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will throw a parade.

 

I couldn't access the generator so I cheated and made me own.

The Empire is pleased to announce the destruction of the notorious rebel DJ_Rebo, who 4 days ago was hideously fed to a Rancor named Fluffy. This incident occurred in Jabba the Hutt's Palace on the planet Tantooine. The deceased was reported to have shouted "I don't take requests and will not spin Achey Breaky Heart!" just before expiring. DJ_Rebo was reportedly accompanied by an swarthy Ithorian who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will force his subjects to watch a holovid of the Star Wars Holiday Special.

 

The Empire is sad to report the demise of Commander Clem, ARC trooper squad Delta. His leadership abilities for the 3rd Army will be greatly missed. Commander Clem was best known for the destruction of the separatist Armies across the galaxy during the Clone Wars and the execution of order 66 during the war. He was also know for the conquest of galaxies after the Clone Wars and bringing order to the galaxy by means of force (not "the Force"). Commander Clem was killed during the extraction of his ARC trooper squad on the planet (Classified). He and his squad held of and estimated 10,000 rebel scum soldiers for nearly 10 days. A hero to the Empire, he will be enshrined in the Empire Hall of Fame.

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the extermination of the notorious rebel Redgek, who 3 days ago was viciously gunned down by a woman holding an ugly 6-month old child. This incident occurred on a rebel transport in Mos Eisley. The deceased was reported to have shouted "You have to pee? Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey" just before expiring. Redgek was reportedly accompanied by an effiminate protocol droid who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Dark Helmet will go to his room and play with his dolls.

 

you guys are too funny!!!

 

there is a saying in Georgia - jokes about Billy Ray Cyrus are like jokes about dead babies.

that was pretty funny though

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the termination of the notorious rebel black_8ight, who 8 days ago was ruthlessly disintegrated with a thermal detonator by a snow stormtrooper. This incident occurred in a backwater spaceport on the planet Dagoba. The deceased was reported to have shouted "I don't know... fly casual." just before expiring. black_8ight was reportedly accompanied by a chatty protocol droid who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, Darth Vader will throw a parade.

What the hell was a Snowtrooper doing on Dagoba?

 

Good point. The bastard was just there to ambush you!

 

The Empire is pleased to announce the eradication of the notorious rebel jabba jo, who 4 days ago was helplessly frozen in carbonite by an anonymous Sith Lord. This incident occurred in a shipyard on the planet Telos. The deceased was reported to have shouted "I'll be back in the sequel!" just before expiring. jabba jo was reportedly accompanied by an underage princess in a white exercise suit who fled the scene. To celebrate this important victory, the Emperor will feed someone to something.