Discussion in 'Literature' started by Dewlanna Solo, Aug 21, 2000.
Make a fanfic from the sweet valley jedi academy!!!!!
I had so much fun with that one I'm thinking of making a long version and posting it, maybe over on Fanfic.
If you do make it into a fanfic can you e-mail me at email@example.com telling me when you do?
I'm so glad everyone liked it so much. I was worried you guys might think it was dumb.
Dr. Suess on the Battle of Endor:
The Ewok threw the spear in the air
Wicket was such a brave little bear
With rocks and trees trashing stormtrooper gear
The Ewoks charged with very little fear
They swung and they flung and they leaped in the air
They hardly ever singed even one fuzzy hair.
LOL, skawookie. The little three-year-old boy I babysit for loves Dr. Seuss, meaning I always have to read that to him, and that definitley sounds like something he'd write.
Here's some more. If everyone likes how it's going, I'll make a full fanfic out of it.
Jaina, Tenel Ka, and Tahiri met at the Couruscant Multiplex at the agreed upon time. They walked up to the ticket counter.
"Three tickets for Night of the Zombie Stormtroopers," said Jaina.
The ticket seller frowned. "None of you three kids looks anywhere close to 18. Specially not that one," he replied, pointing to Tahiri. "I'm gonna need to see IDs from each of you."
Jaina glared at the ticket seller and gave a small wave of her hand. "You don't need to see our IDs."
"I don't need to see your IDs," the ticket seller replied in a zombie-like voice. "Twenty-four credits. Eight each."
"You will give us our tickets for free," said Tenel Ka with a wave of her hand.
"I will give you your tickets for free." The ticket seller handed each girl a ticket.
Tahiri gave a mischevous grin, then waved her hand. "You will start dancing the Space Pirate Boogie right now."
"I will start dancing the Space Pirate Boogie right now." And the ticket seller did just that. Giggling, the girls walked over to the refreshment stand.
"I'd like a large Correlian Topato Fries," said Jaina. "You will give it to me for free."
The seller did just that, and gave Tenal Ka her Ysalimiri Mellows and Tahiri her fries for free as well.
Tenal Ka, Jaina, and Tahiri then walked into the movie and using the Force were able to get three people to give up the best seats in the theater. They than sat down and proceded to gossip about the day's events at school.
"I can't believe my uncle won't give me perfect grades in Levitating. Gosh, it's not like I can't get the stupid rock to levitate. I just don't feel like it! But since he's my uncle, I deserve special treatment," whined Jaina.
"Yeah, I mean, who cares about floating a bunch of dumb rocks?" replied Tahiri. "At least on Tatooine I didn't have to float rocks. But the fashions were terrible. Ralph Lauren only put out three different Tusken Raider outfits my last year there."
"Gosh, I feel so bad for you," said Tenal Ka. "At least on Hapes, they had gazillions of shopping malls and clothes."
"Same with Coruscant," replied Jaina. Just then, the girls noticed the coming attractions had started. They ended quickly, and then the movie started. They kept on chatting loudly, however.
A guy in the row behind them muttered angrily, "Do you mind, I'm trying to watch?"
Jaina turned to glare at him. "What's your name?" she said coldly.
The guy muttered his response quickly.
"And where do you work?"
"The... the New Republic h-h-hired me to transport goods for them. Pays good," he replied nervously.
"You know who my parents are?" replied Jaina.
"And mine?" asked Tenal Ka.
"I don't think I want to find out. You three are probably politician's brats," he replied irritably.
"Well, then," Jaina said snootily, "if you want to keep your job, you leave us alone."
And the girls continued to chat, mostly ignoring the really cheesy and horrible movie that was Night of the Zombie Stormtroopers.
Yes, I know this is all very out of character. But that's how it would be in Sweet Valley. All the characters are self-absorbed brats who have stupid problems and love to gossip and look down on others.
Rebecca191: I enjoyed reading your story.
Glad you did. Does anyone remember the Berenstein Bears from when they were kids? Well, here are The Berenstein Wookies!
It was early morning on a bright sunny morning, and already things were hectic in the Berenstein Wookies' treehouse in the great forests of Kashyyk.
Brother Wookie and Sister Wookie had gotten into a fight over the set of toy Rebel soldiers that Grandma Wookie had given the two for the last Life Day. Each wanted to play with the set of four soldiers, but they wouldn't share.
"I was first!" yelled Sister Wookie.
"No, I was first!" yelled Brother Wookie in reply.
Mama Wookie was exasperated. Finally she ordered the two to go to their rooms. However, that just cause Brother Wookie to throw the toy soldiers at Sister Wookie, who then burst into tears.
Just then, Papa Wookie walked in. "What happened, dear Mama Wookie?" he asked.
"Oh, Papa Wookie, Brother and Sister Wookie got into a fight over the toy Rebel soldiers."
"There, there, Mama Wookie, it's not so bad. They only have to learn to share." And then Papa Wookie gave Brother and Sister Wookie a lesson on sharing.
Rebecca, the story is just wonderful! I have actually read one Sweet Valley High book and one Harlequin Romance, both took me less than an hour to read each, and both shaved a point off my IQ.
So when will these three turn completely to the Dark Side?
Call me Luke. Some years ago -- never mind how long precisely -- having little or no understanding of the Force, and nothing particular to interest me on
Tatooine, I thought I would fly about a little and see the starry part of the galaxy...
Well, if they do turn completely to the Dark Side, I can guarantee they'll be the first to worry if their Sith Lord robes are the latest fashion on Coruscant.
Ever since Rebecca began her Sweet Jedi High stuff, I can't get the image of Jaina being a Valley Jedi. Okay, I'm dating myself here, back to the early eighties, in fact.
Just it's easy to envision her talking like, "Oh, my god! (giggle!) This whole Force thing is just SOOOO tubular! And, like, these robes, like brown? It's just totally grody jody!"
LOL Kier Nimmion!
If you can, get on to Napster and download the song "Valley Girl" and what I mean.
Are you going to have Jacen be the "sensible twin" then? In the end Jessica, er Jania I mean, has to give up her bad ways for a chapter to help someone out or something bad will happen to her twin....The parts you have written sound exactly like the old 'Unicorn' gang. ;-)
Oh make sure you include making one word at least on every page be in italics! I swear every single Sweet Valley book I read was like that....I read too many of them.
The Snows of Hoth-amanjaro
By Earnest Hemmed-In Way
(With major apologies to the estate of the real Hemingway, and with outright cribbing from the original story.)
Ed. note: What if there had been no bacta on Hoth?
"The marvellous thing is that it's painless," he said. "That's how you know when it starts."
"Is it really?"
"Absolutely. I'm awfully sorry about the tauntaun odor though. That must bother you."
"Don't! Please don't."
The cot the man lay on was in a medical bay in a Rebel base carved out of the barren snowy landscape.
"I'm only talking," he said. "It's much easier if I talk. But I don't want to bother you."
"You know it doesn't bother me," she said. "It's that I've gotten so very nervous at not being to do anything. I think we might take it as easy as we can until the bacta supply ship shows up."
"Or until the ship doesn't show up."
"Please tell me what I can do. There must be something I can do."
"You can take off the parts of my body where the wompa injured me and that might stop it, though I doubt it. Or you can shoot me. You're a good shot. You weren't taught at an Imperial stormtrooper academy."
"Please don't talk that way. Couldn't I read to you?"
"Anything in "Tales of the Little Lost Bantha Cub" we haven't read yet."
"I can't listen to it," he said. "Talking is the easiest. We quarrel and that makes the time pass."
"I don't quarrel. I never want to quarrel. Let's not quarrel any more. No matter how nervous we get. Maybe they will back with another bacta shipment today. Maybe the ship will come."
He lay then and was quiet for while and looked out the window of his room across the icy shimmer of the plain to the edge of the horizon. There were a few snow hillocks that showed minute and white against the pale sky. This was a desolate camp, under the ice, an airbase where snowspeeders flighted in the mornings.
"Wouldn't you like to read?"
"Maybe the ship will come."
"I don't give a damn about the ship."
"You give a damn about so many things."
"Not so many, Luke."
"What about a drink?"
"It's supposed to be bad for you. I read once that Jedi are to avoid all alcohol. You shouldn't drink."
"Han!" he shouted.
"Bring Corellian whisky."
"You shouldn't," she said. "It's bad for you. I know it's bad for you."
"No," he said. "It's good for me."
So now it was all over, he thought. So now he would never have a chance to finish it. So this was the way it ended, in a bickering over a drink. Since the infection set in where the wompa had clawed and scraped him he had no pain and with the pain the horror of being stuffed in a dead tauntaun had gone and all he felt now was a great tiredness and anger that this was the end of it. Now he would never have a chance to become a Jedi like his father. Well, he would not have to fail at trying to be a Jedi, either. Maybe you could never really be a Jedi anymore, and that was why he put it off and delayed the starting. Well, he would never know, now.
(Okay, so it was either this or "Darth Vader's Diary" in the style of "Bridget Jones's Diary" :-D)
Any ideas for the Sweet Valley Jedi's next adventure? You name em, I write em!
The Bothan crowd is trying to usurp Jaina's group's status as top clique?
Corran's Horn's comment about how the Jedi robes chafe makes Jaina try to convince Luke to change the official academy uniform?
Lowie sells his skyhopper to Anakin, and Tionne decides Tahiri isn't old enough to go out with a boy who has a "car"?
Wow, this is really taking off!
I love all the new additions! Master Chbel, I hope you will keep going. That was a great little introduction. And the Berenstein wookiees!! I loved all of them. And I'm so relieved that my daughter has stopped reading those babysitters and sweet valley books!! But it is sooooo funny! I must show her this thread. ;-)
I got out my Fitzgerald Odyssey, and maybe I really need the Lattimore after all. I wanted to do the part from chapter 2 or 3 where Telemachus goes on his little quest, only make it about Luke going after the droids. I wanted the 'rosy fingered dawn' stuff, and I think more of that is in the other translation... More homework. (so what am I doing on the net when I don't have my homework done? oops!)
keep it up, guys!
One of the funniest things I ever saw in comics was in an issue of the Avengers were Janet Van Dyne (the Wasp) and Jennifer Walters (She-Hulk) rate the male Avengers, i.e. Namor, Captain A, Wonder Man, the Beast, etc. So why couldn't Jaina, Tahari, etc. rate the male Jedi on their relative babe-factor, you know, Corran, Luke, Ganner, Streen, etc. I think it would be funny to read their snide comments, and who then think is hot and who is not.
Great ideas, everyone. I'll keep them in mind and write the next installment tonight, when I have the time.
Here you go, everyone:
It was the day after the events at the multiplex, and Jaina, Tenel Ka, and Tahiri were all riding to school in Jaina's new landspeeder, which was currently the most popular model on Coruscant.
Tenel Ka squealed. "Oh, I have got to get Dad to buy me one of these. My model's not nearly as fun! This has such an awesome radio, and the colors, it's all so fun!"
"Did you hear my brother Anakin got tired of waiting for his sixteenth birthday, when Mom and Dad'll buy him a landspeeder? So he went and bought Lowie's skyhopper!" Jaina exclaimed.
Tahiri turned to Jaina with an unhappy look. "Tionne found out.... and she thinks I'm to young to date a boy with a skyhopper. I'm almost fourteen!"
"Oh, phooey. She'll let you, just cause he's from such a wonderful family and all," responded Jaina haughtily.
"Hey, my family's royalty!" exclaimed Tenel Ka. "So they're better than yours!"
"Mom was a Princess!"
"She was adopted"
"My Grandmother was a queen!"
"Cut it out," said Tahiri. "Let's talk about um..... guys?"
"Yeah, guys are more important than family. So, Tenal Ka, who do you think is the cutest Jedi?"
"Don't tell Jacen I said so.. but I think Kyp's pretty hot."
"Nah, Ganner's cuter," responded Jaina.
"I saw holos of your uncle when he was younger, and he was pretty cute," said Tahiri to Jaina.
"That is scary, Tahiri!" exclaimed Jaina.
"No really, he was."
Tenal Ka giggled. "Say, speaking of old pics, your Dad was cute, too, Jaina."
"Eeeww, this conversation is getting disturbing. Let's talk about our plans. I think I should run for student council. Tahiri's too young, you have to be 16. And you don't care about that stuff, Tenal Ka. But I think it would be cool. I could campaign for better uniforms."
"Yeah, these are drab," commented Tahiri. "Let's organize a campaign!"
"Hmm.... how about blue? Or green? Anything but brown."
"Yeah, I saw enough brown for a lifetime on Tattooine," said Tahiri.
"Great then!" said Jaina. "We can talk more at lunch," she added, parking her landspeeder.