Before "Human heritage" (The ancient conflict between the dark side & the light side of the Force)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by AzureAngel2, Sep 6, 2013.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    I am often silent and sullen. She never takes offence in that. I am grateful for her understanding.

    You're a newborn. No crap there wouldn't be offence to it.


    What we all have in common though is our eyes. We can see in the dark because we are night predators.

    A nifty thing to have hahahaha


    There is no real balance within me. Lisiére was my shadow, my reflection. And I was hers. I am only half a being without her.

    Mmm. That makes a lot of sense.


    “Marquise Fleur Ankou is the honoured main wife of the Comte and achasseuse. That means we owe her respect, my child. I cannot see you crawling through the hamada in pursuit of womp rats to fill our bellies.

    haha Nene deserved such admonishment.


    “This is why they steal babies from cities like ours. They are evil Force witches, sticking to the Old Ways.”

    Not al though. Not all.
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  2. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Lucien is already being exposed to different influences. Undoubtedly they will leave their mark on him.
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  3. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Hi! I wandered into Before looking for something LOL and found this! You are a sweet, faithful reviewer, and now I see you are a brilliant authoress for character and plot. The range of emotion and attention to detail is excellent. Lucien losing his twin that way ... I love that Minu is a sweet and loving influence. I know that will lead to long-standing problems later though. [face_thinking]

    =D= =D= @};-
    Last edited by Nyota's Heart, Sep 28, 2013
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  4. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    Oh man!!! You have to read the others in this "series" after this. There are 4 different points of view. I will do my beat to notspoil
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  5. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    LOL! I have that on my must-read list, now, once the truncation issue is resolved. Hee! @};- Up there with Valairy Scott's Obi fics. :D
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  6. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    * is just back from the famous "Alexanderplatz" where a dear, old pal from grammar school days invited her to "Dunkin' Donuts" (because as North German people we could NOT be bothered with all the crazy "Oktoberfest" stuff going on around us. This is Berlin, NOT Munich!)

    Theater folk are always so busy, even in the weekend. But he took three hours off to stuff me with 4 Donuts and I was finally able to give him his birthday presents.

    :D

    After having a fun time I went back home with the S-Bahn and hoped that my internet connection would not be such a pain any longer. (And it was NOT fun this weekend.) Right now it is not and you, @Nyota's Heart and @SWpants, make me very, very happy.

    It is nice to get not only a new reader, but also kind praise from the genius that took time despite her busy job to beta my stuff until now.

    As a German native speaker who lived six year in the Netherlands there is a lot of language confusion in my head at times. When I taught in Dutch secondary schools, most times at schools were I was discriminated, writing was my only pressure relief. When I write, a window opens in my head and then I am elsewhere. (The same with painting really, but that is a different matter altogether). The thing is, once I am in the flow of writing I do not detect mistakes that easily.

    SWpants is not only good at correcting stuff, she is a dream beta. When you give her a raw text, she transforms it into something more beautiful. She gets rid of all the "blah, blah, blah!", forces me to let go here and there.

    So my fanfics would not be what they are without pants.

    My husband @DarthUncle, who lives more than 500 kilometers away from me, since the 1st August this year, also tries his best to filter out the greatest junk before I pass it on to pants. I should also mention his efforts here. Especially now that the financial crisis in Europe forces us apart in body, but not in mind.

    And we also should thank Lucien for making this story here possible. He is, more than Grianán even, part of me. It is like in this STAR TREK story "Skin of Evil" with Armus. He is my private pit, my creepy part.

    Now that I am back in the nursery profession, doing cheerful things throughout the day, I feel deeply sorry for Lucien. But there are children like him, who have the wrong start in life and weaknesses in their character. I would say that is the real drama of the dark side. To try to fill the emptiness within with darkness.

    See you all on Friday with the first bits of Chapter 2. I still need to pimp up the text with more art, but at present I am more into painting trees, owls, little moles & unicorns with acrylic paint. But once I feel like doing my characters with water colours, I let you all know.

    And here my new reader list. Please do PM me if you want to be off this list or, even better, you are not on it, but you really would love to be.

    @SWpants

    @Nyota's Heart

    @DarthUncle

    @earlybird-obi-wan

    @Lady_Misty

    @Hazel

    @Mando-Man

    @Gkilkenny

    @Tyranus230

    @Shadow_Master_W

    @Admiral Volshe

    @Cem_Fel/ @Shawnkyr

    @Chilla

    @Sinrebirth

    Okay, folks, I am off now to set water for new ginger root tea. I also will have more chicken soup and more of this disgusting horse-foot juice. Later on I will inhale above a bowl with hot water (covered with camomile blossoms) and also have more buck-horn sirup. But I WANT to return to work tomorrow. I can talk again, yeah!... [face_dancing]... but I still have coughing fits. A well, I manage. The kiddos cough throughout the day...














    .
  7. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    *squishes for you*
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  8. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Feel better, Nicole! @};- [:D]
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  9. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    As I just told DG via PM, the nasty cough with the loss of one´s voice spreads throughout the various school locations & teams.

    Anyway, enjoy my latest update.

    I will drop a new one in the weekend, because I have my parents and my elder brother visiting me from Wednesday until Saturday perhaps.

    Due to @SWpants hard work, I have a couple of up-dates ready at hand.
  10. Chilla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    So finally we get to see what Lucien is thinking and how he became who he was....

    Maybe you will actually make me understand (but most likely not like) that guy. To be worshiped already as a child can really mess one up. And he didn't exactly have it easy with Fleur as a mother. Still, those are no excuses for his later actions. *sighs when thinking about them*

    I can't promise that I'll be around for the entire story (esp once university has started again), but I enjoyed those first updates. You have a special way of storytelling, which somehow reminds me of a Celtic saga. Very atmospheric. Keep it up, Nicole! [:D]
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  11. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    *beams*

    First I hear you lovely voice on the phone today, @Chilla, and now you commented on my update.

    *smiles into her mug with hot lemon tea from ROSSMANN*

    To fully understand another person is difficult, hon. I do not know if I can accomplish that task, seen that Lucien even does not understand himself at times. You will however, hear more about the events that shaped him. Because Gri(anán) did not tell us everything, nor did Sionnach or Isa(beau).

    I feel proud that my stories remind you of a Celtic saga.

    My original idea came from a fantasy writer, who had Merlin mediate about the women in his life.

    But what influenced me even more, and I am proud to tell you this as a lover of the Japanese culture, is the movie Rashomon. This movie is known for a plot device which involves various characters providing alternative versions of the same incident. It seemed right to tell my saga this way from the very beginning.

    After the three women had finished telling their side of the story, I felt the need to pass the torch on to Lucien. Male pride is such a fragile thing. And the feelings of a man hurt in different ways than a women´s.

    Anyway, I will do very small updates, because I find them easier to follow for my readers. Especially those with busy lives such as university students... ;) or boat owners like @Gkilkenny.
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  12. DarthUncle Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 20, 2005
    star 5
    Seems to me lucien should listen to Minou a bit more, instead of focussing on her breasts, witches and necromancy :p

    Here he already seems to miss the obvious answer that evil rxists, and can be fought, usually by examining it whitin yourself.

    Goood chapter, enjoyed it a lot
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  13. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    *slaps her husband with a virtual pillow & counts down the days until the next RL meeting

    Lucien would find this lack of faith & overdoses of humour disturbing, my darling. You know how he is, less forgiving than my mother and THAT says a lot about our tomcat. o_O

    But you are right, some folk are good at seeing evil everywhere, except within. I already confessed to you that the French musical "Notre Dame de Paris" did a lot for Lucien´s character development, right?!? Frollo, a Catholic priest in the original novel from Victor Hugo (and NOT a judge like in the Disney version), did help our Lucien out here. Religious fanatics are dangerous folk, no matter what faith they have. If religion makes ill and people die due to it, then there is something wrong.

    I advise everybody interested to visit youtube to check out the beautiful music of Riccardo Cocciante and the stunning lyrics of Luc Plamondon.

    But let us see for ourselves now, shall we?



    Chapter 2: Living with the Enemy

    Even though I can walk on my own and do not need to be fed with her milk any longer, Minou continues to care for me in the House of Healing. Alezan agrees that keeping me around a little bit longer can do no harm. “It will be rather educational for Luçien,” he purrs one evening over a cup of green tea.

    I am hiding behind a sedan sofa. Each time I concentrate on it, I can mask my scent in the Force and fool any Lidérc.

    “I love the boy, but I want him out of here before he gets into his teens.”

    “Are you afraid for your moon virgins?” Alezan laughs at her.

    Minou purses her lips. “With those troublesome ice-blue eyes he might indeed develop into a lady killer.”

    I feel a clench in my innards, and ignore the rest of the conversation. Of course I know what killing is. Killing a true lady the way the kitchen servants butcher the animals we eat makes me sick to my stomach.

    To me women are wonderful creatures. They radiate beauty and grace with every movement they make. Here in the House of Healing, they draw and paint their faces with the concentration of artists. They dress in the finest silks and do their hair in fancy styles. I suppose this is why they are called les Belles de nuit, the Beauties of the Night.

    It makes me sad that Minou and Alezan believe me to be capable of harming any of the beauties around me. I never would dare to touch any of them in such a way.

    ********************************************************************************

    When Alezan comes for me, I do not want to go with him. He has visited me numerous over the past two years, but now he intends to take me back to his homestead. His plans for me are clear in his mind: I am to grow up in the serial among my siblings. His mind is also on the fact that my mother asks for me constantly, begging to see me. But most of all, his dukedom needs me as his acting heir.

    “Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!” I cramp my fingers into the scarlet sari of Minou.

    There are not many words that I can say yet, but this is one of them.

    Alezan is sorry for me and so is Minou, but they insist on my relocation.

    I make the furniture in the tea room fly around, and destroy the porcelain cups and pots.

    “Luçien, stop that. You are not a Force witch from Draconis,” Alezan says sternly. His arms are crossed in front of his chest. His ears are flat, his fangs are out, and his hair stands on end.

    But it is not his cold and controlled anger that makes me stop my temper tantrum. There is that familiar word again and the feelings that accompany it. Force witch. I want to know what it is more than ever and why it is wrong to be thus.

    Carefully, I set all the remaining unbroken flying objects down.

    “There is my boy,” Alezan praises me and opens his arms.

    Reluctantly, I walk towards him.

    Minou is home. Minou is safety. Minou is balance. I do not want to leave her.

    “What,” I try to get the rest of the sentence out of my mouth, “Is a Force witch?”

    Alezan's hand covers his mouth. Minou stares at me in in shock.

    “What is a Force witch?” I repeat more slow and clear.

    They exchange worried looks.

    “Please?”

    “You are too young for such knowledge,” Alezan insists. He swiftly stands and replaces his veil. I look up at him defiantly.

    “I am two and a half.” I am glad that speaking is not as a painful process as I thought it to be.

    “That you are, my son.” I can hear Alezan smile behind his veil. He holds his hand out to me, but says nothing more.

    For now, it seems to be better to drop my question. But I do not want to forget about it. Being denied information and knowledge is unacceptable for me. I take his hand, and he paces his steps slow for me as we leave Minou and the House of Healing behind.

    “Let me tell you a story,” Alezan suggests. “It is much more suitable for you than the answers you must wait to seek. It is called ´The Little Lost Bantha Cub´. It is written by Kevin J. Anderson. He is a famous fairy tale writer who lives on Amnion.”

    I know how it feels to be little and feel lost. My eyes shine as I am swept away by the tale this man, my father, tells.

    “After the sandstorm that drove him from home, the little lost bantha cub wandered alone,” Alezan begins and ticks my nose lovingly. “So he walked, and he walked through the desert heat till noon, when he found...”

    I don’t even notice when he picks me up and carries me to towards my new home.


    [IMG]

    ********************************************************************************

    (To be continued!)
    Last edited by AzureAngel2, Oct 18, 2013
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  14. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Lucien is very curious, wanting to know all about the Force at such a young age.
    Love how Alezan cares for him
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  15. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    :)

    Ik ben zo blij dat je dat zegt, beste bird! / I am so happy that you say thus, dear bird!

    [:D]

    Okay, here a wee notification for anybody else. I updated now that my parents and my older brother are gone again:

    @SWpants

    @Nyota's Heart

    @DarthUncle

    @Lady_Misty

    @Hazel

    @Mando-Man

    @Gkilkenny

    @Tyranus230

    @Shadow_Master_W

    @Admiral Volshe

    @Cem_Fel/ @Shawnkyr

    @Chilla

    @Sinrebirth
    Last edited by AzureAngel2, Oct 5, 2013
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  16. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Ah! I enjoyed that much. =D= Being torn from Minou-- [face_thinking] another heart-wrenching loss. Will Alezan be a warm loving father-figure, or a dictatorial one? If the latter, whatever Lucien thinks and /or feels will be divided into an external persona and the actual things, which he learns to hide even from himself. @};- @};- More than likely, his mother acted in the bounds of cultural acceptability regarding his twin, but still the thought of contact with her makes me cringe! :p
    Last edited by Nyota's Heart, Oct 5, 2013
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  17. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    Oh to leave a good caretaker for the unknown.

    Yes, it would be hard if his actions were influenced by those around him.
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  18. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    the links to the names didn't work for some reason


    Minou purses her lips. “With those troublesome ice-blue eyes he might indeed develop into a lady killer.”

    [face_laugh] I say that too


    His mind is also on the fact that my mother asks for me constantly, begging to see me.

    IMO, she can suck it


    “I am two and a half.” I am glad that speaking is not as a painful process as I thought it to be.



    Kids are weird.
    BUT they should know better than to think he'll forget. He's too intelligent for his age.
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  19. Mando-Man Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 1, 2008
    star 2
    I'm a little behind as I havent had time to do much reading lately but I am catching up :D
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  20. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    I loved that Lucien can still find pleasure in a fairytale despite his adult-like thoughts.
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  21. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6







    Okay, after a very rough week at work, and me thinking I lost my job, I am able to update again. Anyway, let us go on with Lucien & his life story.




    ********************************************************************************

    I begin to grow anxious when Alezan carries me through the streets of Fort Grand. I do not look forward to seeing my mother. My sister’s death will always stand between the two of us. There is a bubble of hatred in the pit of my stomach, and it grows steadily the closer we get to her. I can sense her in the Force. Her mere presence is hot and scouring.

    Among all the various things that Minou told me was the imperative that children should always love their parents and not question them. I remember her exquisite, long fingers on the ancient pergamentus, pointing out the text lines of importance. I felt that these were words of power; rules for daily life and relationships.

    My vocabulary has grown from listening to the moon priestesses reading from the Holy Scriptures. The time of fairy-tales and lullabies is over for me. I want the secrets of faith revealed to me.

    There are two guards that stand at the gate that leads to Alezan's homestead. They look at me with anticipation, but do not forget to pay their duke the respect that they owe him.

    From the inside, the homestead is bigger than I would have thought. It feels like one of the fairytale castles Minou has told me about. The best construction materials are used; I recognize polished marble and gold. There are also many mirrors. Alezan must be a very wealthy man. I am happy for him. He seems to have all that his heart desires. My mother's sins are not his.

    Sin. This is another word I picked up from the religious texts. Its definition is doing that which is wrong, or purposely harmful. Lisiére’s dying was certainly a sin.

    High and erect, my mother sits in the middle of the serail. She has pitch-black hair and turquoise eyes. Her cheekbones underline her deadly beauty. She reminds me of the blade of a scimitar – sharp and bloodthirsty. As she shifts a bit on her pillow, her sari falls back, I can see a tiny scar on her belly. I look deeper than her skin allows, and see all the hatred and hunger for power.

    She is also anxious about me and regretful about how she treated me. I ignore her silent pleas, needing much more than that to persuade me. I want her to crawl on her knees in front of me, lament my sister's passing.

    The dead stay unmentioned in our culture due to something that the god queens of Draconis did. I learned that the hard way a few weeks ago, when Alezan had to beat me with a bamboo cane. He did not hit very hard, but I understood the message behind it all too well. And so I whisper my sister's name in my head and in my dreams only, a never-ending prayer.

    “Luçien!”

    My mother rises up to greet me. But I do not allow her to kiss me. Nor do I let her to take me into her arms. She is deeply hurt by that. I do not care.

    “As you wish, my son,” she hisses, “As you wish.”

    As the days pass, I make many friends among my new brothers and sisters. Of course, none of them can ever be a substitute for Lisiére, but the majority of them welcome me. I return their kindness, even to those who hate me as much as their mothers want them to. We stay polite.

    Pretending is something that I am good at. I will show nobody my true feelings, especially not with my mother around. She shamelessly watches me from a distance.

    ********************************************************************************

    One afternoon my mother sits down next to me when I play in the fountain. I am fishing for jewellery one of my younger sisters has thrown in by accident. With the Force it would be much easier, but I like the wet, cool caress of the water on my skin.

    “Luçien,” my mother says carefully, “I know you hate your upcoming birthday, but I have a special present for you.”

    The only thing that I really want from her she cannot give me. I let my hands sink deeper into the water, cooling my rising anger.

    My mother comes closer. “One of the servant girls told me that you are very interested in the Scrolls.”

    She does not say Holy Scriptures, just Scrolls. I find this lack of faith disturbing.

    “Can I tell you a secret, Luçien?”

    I cannot stop her without causing trouble. So I just shrug.

    “When I turned three, my father brought me to a special place.”

    Mentioning the man that I believe to be my grandfather grants her my interest, for now. I turn to look at her directly, piercing her with my eyes.

    “If you really want to learn about Force witches and how to punish them, I could arrange something for you.”

    I can’t fully hide my excitement. Maybe there is a gift that she can give me after all.

    “But it needs to stay secret. Alezan would not understand,” she says flatly and looks around to check if nobody listens to us. “He does not believe as much as you do. As I do.”

    Despite herself and my doubts about her faith, my mother has me hooked.

    “From the moment you were conceived, I hoped that I would raise the saviour that our people need.”

    She talks to me as if I was an adult. I like that, but that will not make me like her. I will never forget.

    “It was a shock to me that there were two of you. Only one could be the saviour. What would become of the other?”

    I jerk away from her again. She made a big mistake bringing that up.

    “I know I wronged you as much as I wronged her,” she cries out and all eyes in the serail are set on the two of us. The pride is watching. There will be blood. They can already smell it.

    La vengeance se mange très-bien froide. It is an old Lidérc saying. Revenge is very good eaten cold. I reach deep into the dwell of anger that is at the bottom of my soul. “Say her name,” I demand.

    Her eyes are wide open. “Luçien, I cannot possibly...”

    “Her name,” I say and cross my arms the way Alezan always does.

    I put my mother in a delicate position. It will be more than just three strokes with a bamboo crane on her backside. She is an adult, and considering her earlier crime, Alezan will not be gentle with her.

    A shiver goes through her body. “Lisiére,” she gets out in a yelp.

    “Louder,” I demand.

    My mother glares at me. Many heartbeats pass by. She is desperate to gain my acceptance. “Lisiére,” she spits at me, her eyes dark with anger.

    “Louder,” I repeat stubbornly.

    “Your twin sister's name was Lisiére and I killed her,” my mother screams, “Because I was overtaxed. I never wanted twins.”

    All eyes in the serail stare at her, dumbstruck.

    “Are you happy now, Luçien?” she rants.

    I repeat something that I heard Alezan say to one of the servants who failed him. Coolly I look at her and reply, “Apology accepted.”

    Before the guards ground her, I take her left hand and kiss it. My mother smiles, and her plans for me start unrolling again. She wants me to be a defender of faith, a sword of justice, not even in this realm, but far beyond its frontiers. She will be the benevolent mother, sharing my glory. If I allow her.

    Benevolent.

    That would be the last word that I would ever use to describe her. Minou is benevolent and so is Alezan. Perhaps I can be, too, if I truly want to be. But not my mother.

    As the guards lead her away, her overjoyed smile widens. She does not struggle but regally keeps her head held up high while she walks between them. Her steps are confident. She will do anything in order to win my trust back.

    But this really is not about me, nor about motherly love. She has grand plans for her son. Her Messiah.

    ********************************************************************************

    (To be continued!)



    And yes, it is a free Klingon quote that I used here. Tralala!


    Besides, SWpants inserted that gorgeous remark about the feeling of WATER on the skin. Some of you might remember a young Jedi Knight named Anakin ranting about sand.


    @earlybird-obi-wan

    @SWpants

    @Nyota's Heart

    @DarthUncle

    @Lady_Misty

    @Hazel

    @Mando-Man

    @Gkilkenny

    @Tyranus230

    @Shadow_Master_W

    @Admiral Volshe

    @Cem_Fel/ @Shawnkyr

    @Chilla

    @Sinrebirth
  22. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Awesome post and intense Nicole! =D= =D= Cool inserting the Klingon quote that way. Woot! You would do very well writing for the Trek fandom, oh yes. [face_batting] [face_dancing]
    Last edited by Nyota's Heart, Oct 11, 2013
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  23. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Sometimes I am very nerdy, yes.

    And I am so in love with Patrick Steward, not matter what he does: Jean-Luc Piccard, Ebenezer Scrooge, Captain Ahab, Professor X, himself in Sesamestreet...
  24. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    =P~ When I read Talon Karrde's dialogue [face_laugh] it's Patrick Stewart's voice I hear. [face_laugh]
  25. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Really? That is good to know!

    *feels a bit lonely without her husband tonight & did not go to the mega-event at the small theater of one of her best friends from grammar school days

    I cough so much and so loud that I decided it would be impolite to other theater visitors. A lot of JC members, which whom I am befriended in RL, are desperate to send me to the doctor.

    *sighs

    Anyway, your comments cheered me up & having been with a "sister" of mine on a skype video call for almost 3 hours.
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