**HUMOR** Star Wars Quotes in Game Terms

Discussion in 'Games: RPG & Miniatures' started by Jedi Merkurian, Jun 14, 2006.

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  1. Jedi Merkurian Episode VII Thread-Reaper

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    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    This actually got started in the Lit. boards but would probably be more on-topic here. I'll lift a few quotes from that thread to get us started:
    Now for a few more:

    "We have a new enemy. I have no doubt he is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker."
    "How is this possible?"
    "Make a Farseeing check, Lord Vader. You will know it to be true."

    "It is obvious that this contest will not be decided by our ranks in Force skills, but by our extra dice in lightsaber damage!"

    "Powerful have you become, Dooku! Many Dark Side Points I sense in you."

    "I can sense everything going on in that room."
    "You don't have that many ranks in See Force, my young apprentice."
    "And you do?"

    :-B :p
  2. Rogue_Thunder FanForce CR, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2003
    star 6
    LMAO This is hilarious... I can't think of any right now, but I'll work on it today and post if I get anything.

    [face_laugh] :cool:
  3. dp4m Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2001
    star 9
    I always thought that Han's Bluff check in ANH was due to his rolling a 1 on his Wild Die (he succeeded, but failed anyways).
  4. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    Only Han Solo could roll a 1 while sneaking up on a bikerscout. The only dry twig in the entire Endor forest...

    "What a wonderful smell you've tracked for us? Did you roll a natural 20?"

    "Would someone get this walking carpet out of my Way? It's interfering with my spot checks?"

    "wrrrrit tit wwwwrrrirrrh" "WRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" "meeeep zip Wrrrrrrrrrhhhr" --Chewbacca's intimidation roll vs MSE-6 mouse droid

    "I suggest a new strategy R2. Solo and Chewbacca are combining their intimidation skills. Let the wookie add his strength modifier to his djeric skill."

    "I've got a bad feeling that the GM has reached a plot point and is reading an extensive description..."

    "I've got a bad feeling that the GM is cleaning the battlemat..."

    "Irrrr, Ummmmm, Does not compute. Why don't we battledroids have ranks in bluff or intimidation?"

    "They are still getting through. The damage code on the lightsaber combined with his force powers is enough to overcome the damage resistance of the armor and the structure points of our blast doors."
    "Impossible. Where are our Droidekas? Haven't they had enough rounds to reach the bridge?"

    "I want that stunted slime to devote the rest of his life to improving his hide-in-shadows and sneak rolls to the point where he automatically avoids my spot and listen checks."

    "Hello. We had a string of 1's on our wisdom checks and decided to use the corridor as a firing range. Another series of 1's resulted in shooting all the security cameras and accidentally hitting the alarm. But we're all fine here. Everything's fine. Did you roll a good Fortitude save this morning?"
    "We're sending a squad down"
    "Oh no. We also rolled a 1 on our 'handle radioactive matterials' and 'death star-scale maintenance' skills, resulting in a large leak, very dangerous. Give us a couple minutes to spend skill points to lock it down."
    "WHO is this? What's your NPC character sheet record #?"
    "(boring conversation anyway) LUKE: I FAILED MY BLUFF CHECK!"
  5. Jedi Merkurian Episode VII Thread-Reaper

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    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    "I have a bad feeling about this!"
    "I failed my Wisdom check for Sense."
    "It's something elusive...elsewhere. I missed my Farseeing check by 1."
    "Don't center on your anxiety, Obi-Wan. Take 10 next time."
  6. Jedi_Matt Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2002
    star 4
    LOL Koohi!

    That "LUKE I FAILED MY BLUFF CHECK!" was awesome!

    i can't think of any good ones :( lol
  7. Zarm_Rkeeg Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2003
    star 3
    "No one can roll that many sixes on a chance die, even with a targeting computer!"
    "It's not impossible- I used muscle memory to get a ridiculous string of sixes while improving my Starship Gunnery rolls during a level-4 die-cap speeder-to-character scale incident back home!"
  8. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    "Can't we outrun them? I thought you said this ship was fast."
    "Plotting hyperspace jumps ain't like dusting crops, boy. I only have 4 ranks in astrogation, so unless I take 10, we could end up in a super-nova or fly right through a star, and that'd end your trip awfully fast, now wouldn't it."

    "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. On the other hand, you will have a +10 circumstantial bonus for locating anything illegal, from criminals, corrupt politicians, spice, illegal weapons, bounties, thugs, or former jedi knights. Just remember to keep upping your streetwise &/or bluff skills."

    "Lost a planet, Obi Wan has. Foolish was he. Farseeing did he not use. Taken 20 he should have. Hrrhmm hrr hrr."

    "I'm sure Luke wasn't on that thing when it blew..."
    "Save your bluff checks. I'm force-sensative now, and can pinpoint his location if I'm within a parsec."

    "I thought you said you were blind!"
    "I'm getting better."
    "A little higher! Let me coach you. Take extra time to add 1d to your shot, then add the die code to my blaster skill."

    "Admiral Ozzel brought us out of lightspeed too close to the system. Had he used his experience points to purchase a few more levels of soldier or officer prestige class instead of noble and politician prestige class, he might have had enough brains to know better. Deploy the fleet so that nothing gets out. General Veers, prepare to land your troops."

    "Echo Base, this is Rogue 2. I made my spot check. Repeat: my search roll was a natural 20!"

    "Wait, I'm on backwards. Only a mutton-headed dolt like you could roll a 1 on droid repair and not notice!"

    "If you are in the same agony from listening to my cheezy lines, just say so."

    "This is jedi business. I have a lightsaber, 4 Dark side points, and 8 levels of Jedi Guardian, and I'm not affraid to use them."

    "Senator Amidalla, a pleasure it is to see you again. Allocated your attribute increase to Charisma, you have."


    ------
    Glad to entertain.
  9. Jedi Merkurian Episode VII Thread-Reaper

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    ?Hey, I thought you said you were blind!?
    ?It?s OK! I?ve got Point Blank Shot, I?ll spend a Force Point, and I?ll use a Lucky to re-roll if I miss!?
  10. dp4m Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2001
    star 9
    "Did you hit?"
    "Negative, I need a natural 20 to get it and I rolled an 18 and it just impacted on the surface..."
  11. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    "Plug R2 into the computer. With his gearhead feet and computer programming skill, he should be able to interpret the entire network."

    "Don't blame me. You're the one who botched his technical roll and tried to insert a computer probe into an electrical socket."

    "They didn't even make interrogation rolls. They just attacked my vitality points and endurance."

    "What if he fails his fortitude save? He's worth a lot to me."
    "The empire will compensate you."

    "Yeah, like we should trust you."
    "I've had a change of alignment! I'm now chaotic good. There's still a chance to save Han."

    "Control, Control, you must spend skill points to up your Control!"
  12. Jedi Merkurian Episode VII Thread-Reaper

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    "I'm sorry Han, I had no choice. His Intimidate roll was way too high."
  13. Aragorn327 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2001
    star 6
    "Your father gained too many Dark Side points. He ceased to be a player character, and became a GM controlled NPC. When that happened, the good man that was your father was destroyed." - Obi-Wan Kenobi
  14. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    "I don't care what your spot roll is... Get in there!"

    "Look sir, out of the 500 stormtroopers and beasts we have searching this patch of desert, I was the one who made a spot roll by taking 20 and found the crackerjack prize! Droids, sir."

    "Running maintenance checks with your Tech-based skills is not the same thing as piloting, which is a Mech-based skill."

    "Hey, did you see the new TC18?"
    "Which, the protocol droid or the speeder?"
    "The speeder! Low-level guards like us don't care about droids with gender-confusion issues!"
    "Why are we even having this conversation?"
    "So that the level 18 Jedi Guardian down there who is messing with our minds doesn't decide to just kill us."
    "Oh. Well, I hope he doesn't have a lvl5 deciple of some kind who will just blow up the entire station from under us with a single proton torpedo."

    "Congradulations, kid. Now that you've made level, you get to ditch the modified karate gi and get a western-style orange jacket."

    "Put a couple points into improving your running speed, GoldenRod, or you'll become a permanent resident."

    "You'd better improve your streetwise skill. I have 18 ranks and a death sentence in 12 systems."


    "You measure your freedom in Cash, old man. If you've got enough, you can go as far as you want, as fast as you want."
    "Captain, the universe itself is curved. If you go far enough, fast enough, you end up... right back where you started."

    --OK, not converted to gaming, but it was such a fun exchange in the SW radio program written by Brian Daley that I felt obliged./>
  15. Donp Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2003
    star 1
    Obi-Wan: It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground, which gives me a +1 to attack.
    Anakin Skywalker: You underestimate my power. I use force points as though I was three levels higher.
    Obi-Wan: Don't try it. I have combat reflexes so if you fail your jump check, your tumble check, and pass through my threat space I could get three attacks of opportunity and possibly have confirmed criticals on all of them.
  16. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    Anakin: No you can't. Combat reflexes only allows you extra attacks based on your Dex bonus on MULTIPLE opponents. You'd only get one against me, since I'm only one opponent. Now, if those 4 clonetroopers try to rush past you, you could slice them to ribbons...


    Sorry, this is an argument I had with one player in a D&D 3.0 game. We had to explain it to her over and over again, every session.
  17. Donp Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2003
    star 1
    Well Jedi counseling #14 and #74 seem to disagree with you:

    #14:

    "Q: With Combat Reflexes, are you still allowed to attack each target who provokes an Attack of Opportunity only once per round?

    A: Yes, assuming that each target does only one thing to provoke an Attack of Opportunity. If a character does something to provoke more than one Attack of Opportunity, you can make more than one Attack of Opportunity against him (if you've got Combat Reflexes).

    For example, say you're standing with a lightsaber when a stormtrooper runs in front of you. He crosses two of your threatened squares, so you get to attack him once. Then he stops in one of those squares and starts firing his blaster rifle. You get another Attack of Opportunity, because he's done something new to provoke one; he's firing a ranged weapon while in a threatened square."

    And #74

    "Q: In Jedi Counseling 71, you describe how Anakin could lose three limbs at the end of Revenge of the Sith. But I think you made a mistake in allowing Obi-Wan to make more than one attack of opportunity against Anakin in a single round. Was this an error?

    A: No. This was originally clarified in Jedi Counseling 14, but it's been a while, so it's worth mentioning again. If you have the Combat Reflexes feat, you can make more than one attack of opportunity against the same opponent in one round provided that the opponent does more than one thing to provoke an attack of opportunity. For example, if he leaves a threatened square (other than with a 2-meter step or the disengage action), he provokes an attack of opportunity for moving out of a threatened area. If he later does something other than movement that would provoke an attack of opportunity (for example, firing a two-handed ranged weapon), he may be attacked again by the same opponent. However, moving out of more than one square threatened by the same opponent in the same round doesn't count as more than one opportunity for that opponent.

    Q: Well, that still doesn't fix the problem -- Anakin provoked two attacks of opportunity, both times for moving out of a threatened square! According to your answer, that shouldn't be possible, should it?

    A: Actually, Jedi Counseling 71 is still correct, but I wasn't clear about the source of each attack of opportunity. The first attack of opportunity is provoked by moving into an opponent's space (Obi-Wan's), and the second attack of opportunity is provoked by leaving a threatened square.

    Moving into an opponent's space always provokes an attack of opportunity, even if you're just taking a 2-meter step, and this is considered a separate opportunity from any movement. For example, when performing a bantha rush, you trigger an attack of opportunity as soon as you move into your opponent's square (but the bantha rush action, by itself, does not provoke an attack of opportunity). Likewise, when you grapple an opponent and move into his square, you provoke an attack of opportunity from all other threatening opponents (but not the target of your grapple -- at this point, you've already started the grapple, so your opponent no longer has a threatened area). Finally, Tiny- and lesser-sized creatures generally have a reach of 0 meters, meaning they must move into an opponent's square to attack them; when they do so, they always provoke an attack of opportunity. As an aside, it's worth noting that this is the reason the Tumble DC is 25 (instead of 15) when moving through an opponent's square. You're having to evade two different sources of attacks of opportunity, so it's much more difficult."

    So nyar!



  18. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    I bow in ignorance, having still not seen the movie, and only being familiar with D&D 3.0 rules. Still sounds fishy, but if that is the "official ruling description", who am I to argue?
  19. Donp Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2003
    star 1
    You haven't seen Revenge of the Sith :eek: !

    Why?

    And, more importantly, why??!?!
  20. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
  21. Jedi Merkurian Episode VII Thread-Reaper

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    "This bounty hunter is my kind of skum, mnay ranks in Bluff & Intimidate! I'll give you thirty five."
  22. Koohii Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2003
    star 5
    "It is over. You are down to 0 vitality and only 3 body points. Don't force me to drop you to -10 as I did Obi-Wan."

    "Impressive. Obi-Wan taught you well. Buy you are not up to 7 levels of Jedi yet."

    "I failed my Will save."
    "That is why you fail."

    "I think my eye sight is improving. Instead of a big black blur, my spotcheck results in a big light blur."
    "There's nothing to see. Stop wasting your time on spot checks. If you roll a natural 20, it would be wasted. Stop jinxing the dice and wait for the GM to tell you to roll, or combat."

    "Victims of the 20HD Sarlac, His Magesty Jabba the Hutt hopes you will die with honor so that he doesn't have to waste good die rolls, but should any of you wish to beg for your lives and use your diplomacy skills one last time, he will now listen to your pleas."

    "I've had problems of all kinds. I've had to put skill points into negotiation, administration, diplomacy, bureaucrasy, and other things instead of gambling, con, seduction, and dodge."
    "Listen to you. You sound like a respectable business man."

    "RAWWWWWR! I roll my d20 to make an intimidation check against the MSE-6 droid because I haven't done anything in a while."

    "My co-pilot, Chewie, here tells me you're making spot, search, and streetwise rolls to find a pilot."

  23. Neo-Paladin Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 4
    ?Sir, they?ve beaten our Security check and have gone up the ventilation shafts.?

    ?I haven?t seen you this nervous since we fell into that Gundark encounter.?

    ?Her 8D in Willpower is considerable.?
  24. Jedi Merkurian Episode VII Thread-Reaper

    Manager
    Member Since:
    May 25, 2000
    star 6
    "One of these days you're gonna critical fail your Pilot roll, and I wanna be there to see it!"
  25. Gry Sarth Ex 2x Banhammer Wielding Besalisk Mod

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 1999
    star 5
    "A well-rolled Tactics check. However, there's great risk. The GM might be using 2nd Edition Revised & Expanded scale rules with no dice caps. With a +6D modifier, the weapons on your fighters may not penetrate the shields."

    "Once we get inside, you find a place that will provide you either 3/4 or Full cover, roll Hide and stay there."

    - "I don't believe in spending Character Points on non-combat situations."
    - "That is why you fail."

    - "We've been Lightly Damaged and lost -1D from Maneuverability."
    - "Don't worry, she'll make better Hull rolls.
    You hear me, baby? Make better Hull rolls!"

    "Come on! Why don't you make a Perception roll? You know what's about to happen, what they're up against. They could use a pilot with 10D in Space Transports: YT-1300 like you. You're turning your back on them."

    -"It's a successful Starship Gunnery roll!"
    -"Negative! It didn't go in. And that thing has, like, 29D to resist it, so it just impacted on the surface."
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