Before - Legends (Humor) The Hardships of Being a Single Guardian in the GFFA?

Thanks for the laughs everyone.

You don't think that Sids is a teddy bear underneath?

I'm working on the next one now. Hopefully I'll have it posted soon.

 

This is cool! Would you please PM me with updates?

 

Okay, here's the next one. Sorry, I've been busy lately.

 

PART THIRTEEN: HANGING OUT WITH THE WRONG CROWD

Slightly overcast, on this particular Coruscant day. Senator Palpatine has just finished with sessions in the Senate and is running errands before heading home for the day. After a few stops, the Senator finally makes his last one, at the drug store, to pick up some personal products, like facial cream, shampoo and a clog dissolver ? to unclog the shower drain that F8-22 has been complaining about lately.

As the Senator is walking down one of the aisles, he notices a young boy attempting to stick an item within his clothing. Upon further observation, he notices that this boy is a Jedi Padawan.

SENATOR PALPATINE: You there! Young man! What do you think you?re doing?

The startled young Padawan drops the item and quickly flees the store, before anyone can get hold of him. But that doesn?t stop the Senator from yelling some parting words.

SENATOR PALPATINE: It?s because of young rapscallions like you that cause the rest of us honest patrons to pay higher prices!!!

A miffed Senator Palpatine pays for his wares and leaves the store. On his way back to the speeder, he sees the young Padawan make his way to a couple of other, what look to be, Padawans ? along with a particular apprentice that he?s well acquainted with.

SENATOR PALPATINE: I will wring his neck, when he gets home.

Darth Sidious enters his lair and is immediately greeted by F8.

F8-22: Master, did you get the drain clean~

DARTH SIDIOUS (Interrupting): YES!!! I got the clog dissolver! Would you stop interrogating me about it already? Where has Maul been today?

F8-22: He told me that he was going to the park to play remote-controlled pod racer, Master. But that was a while ago. He said he would be back in time for supper, which is about ready.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Remote controlled pod racer? like the one sitting on the shelf over there?

F8-22: Yes, Master. Exactly like the one over? Oh, my.

And right as F8 comes to the realization that Maul had told a lie, the young apprentice in question comes strolling into the lair.

MAUL: Is supper ready yet? I?m starving.

DARTH SIDIOUS: So, how was your day at the park? Did you enjoy your pod racer? Where is it, by the way?

Maul senses that his Master knows of something. He plays it cautious and answers with a smirk upon his face.

MAUL: My pod racer is on the shelf behind you.

The Dark Lord did not anticipate this answer.

DARTH SIDIOUS: But you told F8~

MAUL (Interrupting): I told F8 that I was going to the park to play pod racers. I didn?t say with my pod racer. Some friends that I met there brought their own. May I go wash up for supper now?

The subject was dropped, supper eaten and the day concluded. The Dark Lord was awake in bed, thinking and was not sure how to tackle this problem. His apprentice is hanging out with Jedi Padawans. Yet, how does one go about keeping his apprentice away from Jedi, without causing any suspicion? How much did they know of his apprentice already? There are too many questions to answer, before acting upon anything.

The next day was a day off for the Senate, so Darth Sidious slept in a little, but was finally awoken to the wonderful smell of breakfast cooking. But yesterday?s troubles soon flooded his mind again. He immediately went to Maul?s room to see that he had already gone.

DARTH SIDIOUS: F8! Where has Maul gone to?

F8-22: He said he was going to the park again, Master

DARTH SIDIOUS: Blast it!

The Dark Lord of the Sith quickly changes, rushes out of the lair and makes his way to the park, in hopes of finding Maul there. However, the Dark Lord?s suspicions tell him otherwise and he speeds toward the shopping district - specifically to the mall. It didn?t take long to find this troublesome group at the food court, but Maul was not to be seen. Soon the Padawans make their way from the food court, Force tripping shoppers here and there, while the Dark Lord follows behind and observes.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Oh,

 

Thanks DT, enjoyed it as always.

 

Hee hee, great update, DT421!

Soon the Padawans make their way from the food court, Force tripping shoppers here and there, while the Dark Lord follows behind and observes.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Oh, he has good technique.



MAUL: I met those guys at the park. They wanted to go get something to drink and asked if I wanted go with them. We stopped by a store? I guess one of them was trying to steal something and almost got caught. I left after that, because it wasn?t smart. What he tried to steal was not worth getting caught over. If you?re going to steal, steal something big, right Master?

The Dark Lord?s eyes well up.

DARTH SIDIOUS: I?m so proud of you!

He's taught him well, I suppose.

Looking forward to more! Thanks for the PM!

 

Sorry for the lack of stories. Been busy with other things.

And thank you all for the kind words.

I'll try to get another story up before I go on vacation next week.

 

add me to pm list plz =)

 

PART FOURTEEN: DINNER PARTIES AND DECORATING

It?s a beautiful mid-morning on Coruscant, with all inhabitants and visitors going about the typical day to day routine? including a certain nanny/housekeeping droid, going about the daily task of cleaning a certain Dark Lord?s lair. F8-22 has just finished polishing a few tables and begins vacuuming the area rugs. It?s then that F8 notices young Maul to be curiously absent, as he is usually finishing breakfast at this time.

F8-22: Curious. I wonder where young Master has gone off to?

After a bit of searching, F8 spots young Maul doing something out on the balcony, but is unable to tell what he is doing, due to a couple of plants being in the way. Before F8 is able to investigate, the Dark Lord of the Sith comes bursting through lair entryway.

DARTH SIDIOUS: F8! F8, where are you? Oh, there you are.

F8-22: You?re home already, Master? You just left for work not too long ago.

DARTH SIDIOUS: I know that! As soon as I got there, I received message that I was to host a dinner party with a few dignitaries and a couple of other Senators next week!

F8-22: Oh, well I?ll begin making preparations now. And then~

DARTH SIDIOUS (Interrupting): No, no, you don?t understand. I can?t host anything here. No one knows what this place is. I need to get another apartment, more suitable for this sort of thing... a front, so to speak. I need to get a hold of a realtor. Get me the directory! Wait! (Looking about the room) Where is Maul?

F8-22: He is out on the balcony, Master. I was about to check on him, but that is when you came in.

DARTH SIDIOUS: I wonder what in Bane?s blazes he?s up to now!

Darth Sidious goes out to the balcony only to see young Maul spin around to look at him in surprise, while hiding something behind his back.

DARTH SIDIOUS: What are you doing?

MAUL: Nothing, Master. You?re home early. Is something the matter?

DARTH SIDIOUS: Don?t change the subject, young man. Again, what are you doing and what are you hiding behind your back?

Young Maul, embarrassed, though you couldn?t tell through his tattoos, brings his hands forward to reveal Republic credits.

MAUL: I was dropping these credits at speeders as they passed by, trying to make them wreck, Master.

DARTH SIDIOUS: You were what?!?! Do you have any idea how irresponsible that is? That is one of the most despicable... stupid things you have done! What a waste! Credits do not just grow on trees, boy! And you would have brought the authorities here to my lair, had something happened! You could have used pebbles instead. Go to your room this instant!

Of course, young Maul served his punishment, Lord Sidious got a hold a realtor and by day?s end, an apartment was acquired.

The next day, Lord Sidious had an appointment with two alien-humanoid decorators, Shi-Merek and Fasi, to aid the Dark Lord with furnishing his new apartment. Taking young Maul with him, to keep an eye on him, Darth Sidious meets with the two decorators at the apartment to go over the decorating details.

FASI: And over here I?m thinking of hanging these fabulous drapes that I had in mind, because they match the pattern in the couches that we had picked out.

PALPATINE: Yes, yes, that?s fine. Whatever you think is best.

FASI: Is something wrong, darling? You seem a bit uncomfortable.

PALPATINE: No, not at all. I?m fine, thank you. What would make you ask that? Say, are those the chairs for the dining room table over there?

FASI: Hmmm? Yes, they are. I understand that you picked them, but I think I would have picked something that made a bit more of a statement. Are you sure you?re all right?

PALPATINE: Yes, fine, thanks again. Have you seen my young friend, or even the other decorator, for that matter?

FASI (Snippy): The other decorator is Shi and yes, I believe they?re upstairs talking about elegant bathroom soaps.

Without uttering another syllable, Palpatine dashes up the stairs to locate his young apprentice

 

PALPATINE: Maul? Maul? Ah, there you two are. So, how are the soap decisions going then?

MAUL: Good, Master. We?ve decided on the Green Seas of Corellia shell patterns. Both in splashes of fuchsia and fabulous light mauve. The splashes of fuchsia will really accent the bathroom beautifully? isn?t that right, Shi?

SHI-MEREK: Oh, I couldn?t have said it any better. (Looking back towards Palpatine) I think you have a little decorator in the making on your hands.

Sounds like Maul missed his calling in life.

F8-22: I knew you never really liked aliens, Master. You don?t seem to trust them.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Never have trusted the vile things. And even though I exploit humans too... if it?s one thing I can count on, to my dying day, it is the loyalty of a human being.

Nice foreshadowing there! Heh heh.

Thanks for the PM, DT421, I'm loving this story.

 

Just saw my kids not too long ago and may have some good ideas for more stories soon.

 

Excellent...on both counts.