HUMOR THREAD! Revealed at last: The real reason why Anakin turned to the Dark Side!

So do you wanna know the real reason? Huh? Do ya? No? Well, screw it! I'll just tell you anyway! The real reason was that the Jedi Council were playing a game of musical chairs, just to screw with Anakin's head! Yes, that's right! You heard it here first, folks! After 28 years of distortions, obfuscations, half-truths, and just plain LIES, now the REAL TRUTH can be told, and I'm gonna drag it kicking and screaming into the harsh light of day!And no, I don't give a rip how many IG assassin droids they send after me, I'm blowing the freakin' whistle!
Yes, the sad truth is that, once little 9-year-old Anakin was (reluctantly!) allowed into the Jedi Order, those supposedly wise and powerful beings on the Jedi Council decided to have themselves a little giggle! On every occasion before Anakin would be brought into the Council Chambers on some Jedi business or other, Mace Windu would flash a grin to Yoda. Yoda would then close his eyes, gently lift a finger, and use the Force to activate the chamber's sound system. And then, a randomly-selected thirty seconds of some now-forgotten musical number would begin to play. (And I have it on good authority that this was nothing less than the GFFA equivalent of the "Macarena"!)The members of the Jedi Council would then jump out of their seats, form a conga line in the center of the room, and dance around in a circle, left hand on the shoulder of the Jedi in front of them, right arm waving around jerkily and spasmodically in the air! After the thirty seconds were up and the music stopped, each council member would then rush into the seat that each one was closest to. Then Obi-Wan would then bring Anakin before the Jedi Council.
Every time Anakin would be increasingly confused as to why all the council members would be seated in a different spot! "Pardon me, Masters, but why does everyone seem to be seated in a different spot every time I'm brought in?" "Nonsense, young Skywalker!" Mace would sternly proclaim, keeping as straight a face as possible. "Mistaken, you are!" Yoda would chime in. "No differently seated are we than we always are!" Anakin would reluctantly accept this, and then attention would turn to other matters. Then Obi-Wan and Anakin would leave, the council members would then look at each other, and once they felt sure that they were out of earshot, the entire chamber would erupt into a gale of explosive laughter. And no one's laugh was heard more loudly and clearly than that of Mace Windu! (As my friend Darth_Harmon would quite astutely point out, there's a certain brutally poetic justice to the fact that Mace ultimately ended up losing the same arm that he waved around so jerkily and spasmodically during that crappy dance number!)
But Anakin knew somehow that there was a very great disturbance in the Force, and over the years it wore increasingly and incessantly on his young mind!
Appalling, just absolutely appalling! The way the Council took advantage of a young, vulnerable, emotionally troubled Jedi padawan the way they did, and all for the sake of some practical joke!Oh well, I'm sure it all must have seemed like good, clean fun at the time, just a harmless little prank. But we've heard all sorts of horror stories about how these "harmless little pranks" often turn out, haven't we, children? I mean, someone must have thought it would have been a hilarious notion to dump a bucket of pigs' blood on poor Carrie White while she got crowned Queen of the high school prom, and look what a laugh riot THAT turned out to be!!
I know, I know, it seems impossible to believe, but it's true: A simple game of musical chairs was what led to the greatest tragedy that the GFFA would ever know. It would be almost a quarter of a century before the resulting imbalance in the Force would be corrected, before Anakin's redemption, and before freedom would be restored to the peace-loving citizens of the galaxy. It's all just so...well, it's beyond sad, really. Speaking for myself, I can't even think about it for too long without simp

 

WTH are you talking about?

 

Uhh, anakin_luver, you did notice that the subject heading read, "HUMOR THREAD..."?
{sigh} Humor truly is a subjective thing, I suppose...

 

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Dots, all you get is dots.

 

Yes, I did notice it was a HUMOR THREAD, but nothing you said made any sense to me...the Jedi are playing musical chairs?!?!

 

Eh?