humor - umor (general) :)

Discussion in 'Romania' started by sergiurusu, Nov 10, 2004.

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  1. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
  2. Chantal Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 3
    Engineering Students

    An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".

    He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

    The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

    Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

    The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
  3. Chantal Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 3
    5 Best Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk

    5. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

    4. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to."

    3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time."

    2. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

    1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen." (ROFL!!!)
  4. SVAndrei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2004
    star 5
    Thanks. It might come in handy sometimes.
  5. Chantal Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 3
    Uitati-va, minunati-va, si luati Extraveral.
    http://www.fliggo.com/video/X9TKy7oH
  6. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5


    IDIOT SIGHTING:


    We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

    We haven't used Sears repair since.



    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.



    I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

    From Kingman , KS .


    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
    From Kansas City



    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded,
    "That's why we ask."

    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.



    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

    She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS



    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.



    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.



    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi


    STAY ALERT!

    They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and REPRODUCE

  7. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    :eek::oops:[face_thinking][face_shhh]8-}[face_clown]

    [image=http://img338.imageshack.us/img338/2775/numehaioasedt3.jpg]
  8. Chantal Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 3
    "They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and REPRODUCE."
    Yep, that's the part that scares me too! The right to vote should be given after passing some sort of exam, like they do for the driver's license (a voter's license, let's say), with questions both of common sense, basic history, very basic political doctrine at least, and a sanity test.
  9. Milena_Syan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2005
    star 4
    Only problem is this: who's gonna figure out what test to give us all?
  10. Chantal Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 3
    That's the easy part, a team of political scientists, sociologists and psychologists.
    The tricky question is who is going to administer it, and by that I mean what body.
    But let's not spoil the humor thread.
  11. MaraStardreamer Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2006
    star 4
    OK, am inteles - test pentru obtinerea dreptului de a vota, dar testul pentru obtinerea dreptului de reproducere oare in ce consta? :D
  12. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    PUTEREA ASEZARII UNEI VIRGULE. Citeste si analizeaza fraza urmatoare:

    "Daca barbatul ar sti realmente valoarea pe care o are femeia ar merge in patru labe in cautarea ei."


    Daca sunteti femeie, cu siguranta ati aseza virgula dupa cuvantul "femeia".

    Daca sunteti barbat, cu siguranta ati aseza virgula dupa cuvantul "are".
  13. Chantal Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 3
    The same with:

    A woman, without her man, is nothing.
    A woman: without her, man is nothing.

    :)
  14. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
  15. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    [image=http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/351/dsc04402br3.jpg]
  16. Chantal Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 3
    Class evaluations can be lots of fun! Check this out, I rolled on the floor:
    http://www.glumbert.com/media/classeval

    [face_laugh] (+ roll)
  17. Ionut_cel_Intelept Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2007
    star 1
    [image=http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/7/7c/Kenobi_Street.jpg]
  18. Ionut_cel_Intelept Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2007
    star 1
    C3P0 legs
    [image=http://starwarsblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/3po_leggings.jpg]
  19. SVAndrei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2004
    star 5
    Se pare ca am prins un oarece troian de pe site-ul asta. I advise caution.
  20. Ionut_cel_Intelept Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 4, 2007
    star 1
    Sa scot link-ul?

    LATER EDIT: Problema rezolvata. Am schimbat link-ul. L-am luat pe cel de pe wookieepedia)
  21. Milena_Syan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2005
    star 4
    Andrei, thanks for the warning.

    Ionut, thanks for finding an alternative link.

    :)
  22. SVAndrei Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2004
    star 5
    Anytime. I'm still battling with it, but i think i have it surrounded... Oh, wait, it got away...
  23. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    Which one is the Blonde, and why? Care-i blonda si de ce?;)

    [image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v213/hooverb/forums/pic1.jpg]
  24. Chantal Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 3
    Asta imi aduce aminte cand faceam scoala de soferi, si imi zicea instructorul "Facem la dreapta.... Cealalta stanga, draguta." [face_blush]
  25. sergiurusu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2001
    star 5
    Chantal cred ca s-a prins.;) No one else?:D
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