Before Hunters -- Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan misson, ** Complete **, 17-April-2006

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Apr 2, 2006.

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  1. kenobiwanobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
    Beautifully written and greatly suspinseful!!!!Thanks for the PM!
    Wonderful descriptions! :)
  2. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4

    Valairy_Scot: Thanks so much!

    kenobiwanobi: Glad you like the descriptions; I like putting those into stories. Thanks for reading!


    Now, the last part...


    o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o)(o ? part 6

    ?How do you feel?? Qui-Gon?s voice sounded loud over the muted city sounds below them. Not even evacuations and desperate emergency could quiet the machinations of a city.

    ?Master??

    ?How do you feel, Obi-Wan?? Qui-Gon continued to look out over the tops of the buildings as he spoke. Obi-Wan hesitated. He had no words.

    ?I don?t feel anything. I?ve been concentrating on the mission,? he admitted.

    ?Ah.? Qui-Gon did not look disappointed. He almost smiled. ?Possibly because that is what I told you to do.? He accepted this, his eyes still looking out at the lights in the darkness.

    ?Qui-Gon.? This time he looked back at his Padawan, his face in shadow.

    Obi-Wan?s pale face, his tunic and pants were visible in the distant light, his brown robe and hair black in the gloom. ?How do you feel??

    ?I do not care for this sort of mission, Obi-Wan. For the task of executioner.?

    Obi-Wan swallowed. ?We were successful. We did destroy them.? He moved closer to Qui-Gon.

    ?Yes, we did destroy them. But at some cost, I fear.? He turned back to the lights of the city, the darkened rooftops. It was quiet, the only sounds coming from far away. The Tavelmi around them would have felt the demise of the last two Okaju. They would have had no warning.

    Obi-Wan sat down next to Qui-Gon.

    ?I do not think we could have captured them,? Obi-Wan stated quietly.

    ?No. It was a vain hope at best. We couldn?t possibly have contained so many.? Qui-Gon bowed his head. They sat silently together. Obi-Wan laid his hand on his Master?s shoulder and leaned closer to him.

    Qui-Gon reached up and laid his own hand over Obi-Wan?s, still resting on his shoulder. In the distance, they both saw the blinking lights of a transport rise up among the buildings and head in their direction.

    The transport approached, growing in the sky. Other vehicles followed the transport, more city workers to collect the remains. Obi-Wan stayed close to his Master. After being so strong, so focused for days, the older man now felt spent and that disturbed Obi-Wan.

    The transport hovered very close to their perch on the roof; it?s door opened. The Jedi easily leaped inside and the door closed behind them, the vehicle rising again into the sky. They were alone in the cabin. The lone Tavelmi pilot glanced fearfully back at them from behind a drawn curtain, but otherwise didn?t acknowledge the new passengers. They took the front two seats of the six in the cabin. They sat up straight in seats with uncomfortably short, narrow backs, meant to accommodate wings on either side.

    The transport sped over the city lights. They headed back toward the meeting place near the spaceport where they?d been briefed when they?d first arrived. Obi-Wan silently watched the darkened shapes of the taller buildings of the city disappear behind them. He sensed nothing lurking in it?s shadows other than it?s own inhabitants. It was just another city now.

    No other air traffic or speeders passed near them as they approached their destination. They landed behind the hostel where the Mayor had set up the city command post for the Okaju hunt. The Jedi exited, jumping lightly down to the paved ground. The transport immediately left as soon as they were clear of it. Except a small knot of Tavelmi by the rear entrance, there was no one else in the brightly lit parking area behind the hostel.

    Qui-Gon strode up to the people who waited for them, all traces of weariness erased from his face. They both bowed to the Mayor, their arms tucked into the opposite sleeves of their robes, a formal Jedi gesture. The Mayor nodded back and told them that their success had already been reported to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant and that they were to report themselves later at their convenience. She gestured the
  3. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5

    Obi-Wan came back with plates, utensils, cups, a couple of jars of more food and another box. Qui-Gon noticed immediately that they were all things that he liked, and some of them he knew that Obi-Wan would never touch.

    Kneeling before the table, Obi-Wan laid out plates and utensils. Then he seemed to think of something else, got up and went back to the shelves. Qui-Gon looked down at the plate placed before him, his melancholy turning into something else.

    My Padawan brought me food.

    Again, he closed his eyes. A single tear ran down his cheek. He felt his days of weariness well up inside him, weariness of every face being turned away from him as soon as he was recognized, of pushing away helpless beings out of necessity, of being held at a distance by them out of fear, of being feared. Fear led to the dark side of the Force, but it also shriveled the heart.

    This simple act of kindness laid out before him had filled his heart more than he could have ever received from hours of lonely meditation.



    Awwww such a sweet ending. They both really needed to have their hearts filled with warmth after so much darkness and bloodlust. =D=
  4. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Awww, not the end already. :D :D

    So much lost in death. This was very sad, though the end was nice and mushy. [face_love]

    Superb story ardavenport . Thanks for sharing it with us.
  5. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Wow, this was some fantastic story. It only got better!

    My Padawan brought me food.

    Again, he closed his eyes. A single tear ran down his cheek. He felt his days of weariness well up inside him, weariness of every face being turned away from him as soon as he was recognized, of pushing away helpless beings out of necessity, of being held at a distance by them out of fear, of being feared. Fear led to the dark side of the Force, but it also shriveled the heart.

    This simple act of kindness laid out before him had filled his heart more than he could have ever received from hours of lonely meditation.


    That was a masterpiece of simple and poignant emotion. Bravo.

    [face_love] @};- =D= =D=
  6. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    It's already been quoted, but when the tear slid Qui-Gon's cheek, I was without breath. I pictured everything so clear, for your words were so concise and beautiful. It had to come, the realization of what had happened, but on its heels was the light of companionship, and life moving forward. You communicated Qui-Gon's weariness and pain in such a way that I felt it ache in my own heart for a minute while I was reading it. Just really perfect, ardavenport. :)
  7. kenobiwanobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
    This story was so intense since the beginning,somethings never change. Even now a sadness remains , but it was great to recieve a ray of hope at the end. You really did a nice job wiht this piece and I couldn't have enjoyed it more!!!!
  8. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I liked how when the end came, the warmth was able to fill up a little bit of what all those deaths had done. It would certainly scar both of them a bit to forever have those deaths in their memory without knowing that they did some good, even if it was not enough.

    Good job.
  9. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I hated to see this story end, but it was so superbly written that the end came exactly where it should. :p

    Qui-Gon looked up at his Padawan. Obi-Wan stood there, his eyes bright and his arms loaded with hand wipes, a jar of seeds and other condiments. Qui-Gon inclined his head and signed for Obi-Wan to sit. He put the rest of his offerings on the table and sat down on the couch next to him.

    Outside the little island of compassion that Obi-Wan had inadvertently created, Qui-Gon still sensed the miasma of fear and grief of the Tavelmi. He smiled and put a reassuring arm around his Padawan. Somewhere, through the Force, Qui-Gon also sensed a few glimmers of renewal, and hope.


    What a beautiful ending to an amazing story! =D=
  10. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Big thanks to everyone for reading, and for replying!

    Layren: Awwww such a sweet ending. They both really needed to have their hearts filled with warmth after so much darkness and bloodlust.

    They certainly needed something after that mission. After being denied any normal social interaction, even with each other, for days, I think that an ordinary gesture from Obi-Wan would look hugely significant to Qui-Gon. So, that's where the ending came from.

    Healer_Leona: Awww, not the end already.

    Aaaah, yes. Always leave them wanting more. It was an emotionally tough mission, so they needed mush at the end. :)

    Valairy_Scot: Wow, this was some fantastic story. It only got better!
    My Padawan brought me food.


    It's the little things that stand out when you haven't had them for days. Jedi seem simultaneously unemotional and emotional at the same time. They clearly used emotions, 'feelings' when using the Force, but they don't hang on to anything; no attachments. So, they may feel things very intensely, though briefly.

    LuvEwan: It's already been quoted, but when the tear slid Qui-Gon's cheek, I was without breath. I pictured everything so clear, for your words were so concise and beautiful. It had to come, the realization of what had happened, but on its heels was the light of companionship, and life moving forward. You communicated Qui-Gon's weariness and pain in such a way that I felt it ache in my own heart for a minute while I was reading it. Just really perfect, ardavenport.

    I'm glad my descriptions seem to have worked. I like to have a good picture of what's going on, but I try not to put in too much because thaat bogs the story down. They were living, homeless, on the streets with everyone shunning them as soon as they were recognized and the only thing keeping that from getting to them was their mission. But after they finish the mission and they're stuck, still being avoided, I think that could be depressing. But Qui-Gon almost forgot until Obi-Wan reminded him, they still had each other. :)
  11. Deiana Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 16, 2006
    This is an awesome story[face_hypnotized]
  12. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Deiana: Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading.
  13. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Thanks to everyone who nominated this one for Best Action in the Before the Saga Awards. Wow. :eek: :)
  14. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    BIG thanks to all who voted for this story for Best Action in the Before the Saga Awards yesterday. [:D]:D
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