Saga Hush, Hush Darling~Shmi, Anakin, implied Qui-Gon (drama) Author's thanks 5/11

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by divapilot, May 4, 2006.

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  1. divapilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Hush, Hush Darling
    Author: Divapilot
    Characters: Shmi Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, implied Qui-Gon Jinn
    Time frame: The Phantom Menace
    Summary: On the evening before the pod race, Shmi considers the impact that releasing Anakin to the Jedi will have on her life.
    Genre: drama
    Notes: Written for Song Lyrics Roulette. Song RouletteThe song is ?Don?t Speak? (No Doubt)



    Shmi Skywalker looked up at the stars.

    It was her habit, late at night -- after Watto had finished with his petty demands, after the needs of the small household had been attended to, and after Anakin had gone to bed ? to climb the narrow staircase behind their tiny home to the rooftop. Her light step never disturbed Anakin, who tended to sleep like a rock anyway after the workday he put in. Once she was above the dirty streets of Mos Espa, she could finally relax.

    Now, even that brief respite seemed denied to her. In a matter of just a few days, her world had turned upside down. Still, she had known that someday her life would have to change. She had hoped for this opportunity and dreaded it at the same time.

    Qui-Gon had confirmed what she had always suspected: her son was strong in the Force. She had seen it from his early boyhood, but had taken pains to keep its evidence away from greedy, opportunistic eyes. However, Ani?s talents were becoming more obvious as he grew older. Watto had already seized upon them, exploiting Ani?s quickness and insight for his own selfish uses. How much longer before the petty gangs found him? Before the corrupt Hutt overlords found him? How much longer could she protect him from the detached cruelty that he would be asked to perform, thanks to that inscrutable gift?

    She drew her arms in closer and looked up. The stars shone thinly through the artificial lighting and ever-present dust. But they were still there, constant and giving.

    The stars shone down their gift upon her in the form of a tall, crooked-nosed Jedi with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Qui-Gon was the answer. He could save Ani from the hell she had been forced to bear in her own life. He could save Ani from slavery, the kind that stole your body and freedom and the kind that stole your soul.

    ?Mom?? Ani?s voice rose through the night air.

    She turned, surprised. Within moments she had gone back into the house.

    ?What is it, Ani?? she asked, concerned. She stood in the doorway of his small room.

    Ani sat up in bed. His blond hair was disheveled and the sheets were bunched up around him. He looked up at her. ?Mom? I had a bad dream,? he whimpered.

    Shmi looked at him and took in how very small he appeared. Her heart clutched. He was still her little boy.

    ?It felt like you were upset. I don?t want you to be upset, Mom,? he said, as she sat beside him on the bed.

    Shmi put her arm around his shoulders and stroked his hair. How did he know? How did he always know what she was thinking?

    ?What was your dream about, Ani? Are you concerned about the race tomorrow?? she asked.

    He shifted in the bed. ?Naw, I can do it. I know I can do it.? He looked at her with his blue eyes. Where did those blue eyes come from?

    ?I dreamt that we weren?t together anymore. That you were far away and I couldn?t be with you anymore,? Ani said.

    Shmi held his hand. ?Oh, Ani,? she sighed, ?things are changing. You and me, we used to be together -- Everyday, together, always. But you are becoming so much older and stronger now. You deserve to have a chance to do something better with your life. When an opportunity comes, you have to be brave and take it.?

    Ani frowned. ?I don?t want to have to change. Things aren?t so bad. We can make it, Mom. We always have.?

    She felt his small, rough hands in hers. How long before the calluses became scars? How much longer before this child became a bitter, hollow man? Where was the point of no return with a soul?

    Shmi kissed his forehead lightly. ?We make it work because we care about each other. We
  2. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Oh wow. That was brilliant. I love how you used the song as dialog. Of course this fic left a lump in my throat the size of Nebraska! :( :(
  3. Jade_Pilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2005
    star 5
    Woohoo!=D= I love how you incorporated the lyrics.

    "His features were young, but his eyes were so old." :_|

    Well done!
  4. SilSolo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 5
    aww wonderful challenge entry.
  5. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    Oooh, thanks for telling me about this, gal! I love the song, it reminds me of high-school. We all thought Gwen Steffani was the Goddess recreated. LOL That was my high-school band. :D

    And great job incorportating the lyrics into a story about Anakin and his mother. I can't even imagine today, at 26, being told I could never see my mother again, let alone at little Ani's age, and for his mother, too...

    Loved this bit:

    It's all ending, she sighed to herself. I gotta stop pretending who we are... No, they weren?t just another slave mother and son anymore. He had remarkable skills. He could never pretend to be ordinary. If there were a chance to get away, she would fight for him to grasp it.

    Wonderful!
  6. Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 1999
    star 6
    Beautiful, diva! =D= A very moving and heartbreaking look into Shmi?s final moments with her little boy. [face_worried]


    Watto had already seized upon them, exploiting Ani?s quickness and insight for his own selfish uses. How much longer before the petty gangs found him?

    :eek: I?d never thought about that before ? the possibility of Ani being kidnapped and enslaved for his Force abilities. Sobering thought.


    ?I want to leave here and find out all I can about the galaxy,? he said solemnly. ?Then I?ll come back and make everything right around here. No more slavery. No more fights. No more people being hungry.?

    Hugs little Ani! [:D]


    Lovely challenge response! @};-


  7. divapilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2005
    star 4
    Healer_Leona: That was brilliant. I love how you used the song as dialog. Of course this fic left a lump in my throat the size of Nebraska!

    LOL! Thank you! I'm not that comfortable with traditional song fics --they never seem to sound authentic -- so I tried to find a scene where someone was dealing with the loss of a close relationship, then work the words into the story.[face_dancing]


    JadePilot: I love how you incorporated the lyrics.

    "His features were young, but his eyes were so old."

    Well done!


    Thank you! :) It seemed logical that Shmi would understand how quickly survivors grew up on the streets. Anakin would have had very little in terms of a childhood.[face_worried]


    SilSolo: aww wonderful challenge entry.

    Thank you! I'm happy you liked it.:)


    Ginchy: I love the song, it reminds me of high-school. We all thought Gwen Steffani was the Goddess recreated. LOL That was my high-school band.

    LOL! In my high school, we thought the same for Deborah Harry and Pat Benatar. That statement will age me![face_laugh]

    And great job incorportating the lyrics into a story about Anakin and his mother. I can't even imagine today, at 26, being told I could never see my mother again, let alone at little Ani's age, and for his mother, too...

    It must have ripped her heart out. I can't even think about sending one of my children away, knowing I'd probably never see her or him again. But her love for him was greater than her need for him.O:)


    Jedi_Trace: Beautiful, diva! A very moving and heartbreaking look into Shmi?s final moments with her little boy.


    Thank you! As a mom, too, you understand how you would do anything for your child, even if it kills you to do it.

    "Watto had already seized upon them, exploiting Ani?s quickness and insight for his own selfish uses. How much longer before the petty gangs found him?"

    I?d never thought about that before ? the possibility of Ani being kidnapped and enslaved for his Force abilities. Sobering thought.


    I think that someone of Anakin's talents would be noticed by disreputable characters eventually. And there wouldn't be much Shmi could do, as a slave herself, to protect him. His only hope was to get out.

    Thank you so much for the beta, and for the kind words. @};-


    [:D] Thank you to all who read and replied. [:D]

  8. Star_Angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 4
    Unbelievable, I can?t believe that I almost missed this:oops:, this incredible vig, I loved it, amazing job divapilot=D=.
  9. slow_dawn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 18, 2006
    star 2
    Well done with the lyrics as dialogue. It's interesting to see Shmi's thoughts on Anakin leaving.



  10. Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2003
    star 4
    I agree with everyone else -- great work. :D It must have been tricky to work in those lyrics, but it worked really well. I really liked your characterisation of Shmi here -- she had to have been a very strong woman to suffer through the losses she did, and you've captured that aspect beautifully. Well done! =D=
  11. MirandaFair Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 2005
    star 4
    Oh! =D=

    Beautifully heartwrenching. Very good, DP! I could quote this whole piece it was so good. @};-

    This part really resonated with me.

    Shmi held his hand. ?Oh, Ani,? she sighed, ?things are changing. You and me, we used to be together -- Everyday, together, always. But you are becoming so much older and stronger now. You deserve to have a chance to do something better with your life. When an opportunity comes, you have to be brave and take it.?

    And...

    She felt his small, rough hands in hers. How long before the calluses became scars? How much longer before this child became a bitter, hollow man? Where was the point of no return with a soul?

    You brilliantly used the song lyrics and a couple of times I reminded myself, "oh yeah, that's by No Doubt." I'm sure working with the lyrics was quite a challenge. But again, this is flawless and beautiful through and through. I love reading pieces with Shmi as a main character. You did her and little Ani justice. :)
  12. divapilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2005
    star 4
    Star_Angel: Unbelievable, I can?t believe that I almost missed this, this incredible vig, I loved it, amazing job divapilot
    Thank you so much!O:)


    Slow_Dawn: It's interesting to see Shmi's thoughts on Anakin leaving.

    Thank you for the kind words. It must have broken her heart, wouldn't you think? But she wouldn't be able to show it, or Anakin would hesitate.[face_love]


    Knight_Aragorn: It must have been tricky to work in those lyrics, but it worked really well. I really liked your characterisation of Shmi here -- she had to have been a very strong woman to suffer through the losses she did, and you've captured that aspect beautifully.

    Thank you very much! I've always been fond of her, another strong woman. She almost has a pioneer quality to her.:)


    MirandaFair: You brilliantly used the song lyrics and a couple of times I reminded myself, "oh yeah, that's by No Doubt." I'm sure working with the lyrics was quite a challenge. But again, this is flawless and beautiful through and through. I love reading pieces with Shmi as a main character. You did her and little Ani justice.

    Thank you so much, Miranda! Yes, working the lyrics in was tought, especially grammatically. ("you and me, we used to be together" -- SUBJECT pronoun! You need a SUBJECT pronoun!:_| ) But I got over it.

    Thanks for the wonderful compliments. [face_dancing]

    [:D] Thank you to all who read and/or replied![:D]
  13. divapilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2005
    star 4
    Darth double post.

    So sorry!
  14. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    This is a wonderful little fic. A mother wanting her child to have a better life so much that she'll let him go. Very touching. :)
  15. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Oh wow! That was incredible! :eek: I can't believe I missed this earlier. :oops: I'm really glad I got a chance to read this.

    Qui-Gon had confirmed what she had always suspected: her son was strong in the Force. She had seen it from his early boyhood, but had taken pains to keep its evidence away from greedy, opportunistic eyes. However, Ani?s talents were becoming more obvious as he grew older. Watto had already seized upon them, exploiting Ani?s quickness and insight for his own selfish uses. How much longer before the petty gangs found him? Before the corrupt Hutt overlords found him? How much longer could she protect him from the detached cruelty that he would be asked to perform, thanks to that inscrutable gift?

    She drew her arms in closer and looked up. The stars shone thinly through the artificial lighting and ever-present dust. But they were still there, constant and giving.

    The stars shone down their gift upon her in the form of a tall, crooked-nosed Jedi with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Qui-Gon was the answer. He could save Ani from the hell she had been forced to bear in her own life. He could save Ani from slavery, the kind that stole your body and freedom and the kind that stole your soul.


    A beautiful portrayal of Shmi's relationship with Anakin. [face_love] Simply superb! =D=
  16. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Anakin's idealism and toughness ... Shmi's grief and selflessness all were wonderfully etched here. :) =D=

    She knew she had to let him go to save him from a wretched existence but that didn't lessen the pain. Sweet and thoughtful--apt descriptions of Anakin and ... his children after him. :D :D
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