I declare myself President.

So, my lady, your government is trying to pull the wool over the nations eyes by giving us PLASTIC prawns instead of REAL prawns?

 

This country's great foundations are built upon truth and fair play... to have imitation prawns would be to lower ourselves to, dare I say it, the French level. As you all know, France have long been conning their people with plastic mussels... from Brussels no less.... we, the Great British people, demand to have nothing but the real thing.

 

Plastic prawns are better. We all know what would happen if you were in power. We would be a nation of smelly people, Who would respect us then? The nation has accepted the currency. You m'lady are just trying to ridicule our sound and succesful policies. My bank will honour the plastic prawns.

 

When the clam collapsed (after years of recession under your party) we introduced the prawn.

It haslong since been strong against the dollar madam and I resent any implication that a Minister in my position would even begin to attmpt to imply the prawn was anything other than plastic.

Are you calling the chief cashier of the bank of England a crooked banker madam?

// shuts up to let hecklers heckle

// and jeerers jeer

 

As minister for the sureal i would like to say ...ah for now you see floppsy is dead, and never call me mother.

 

//lshouts down Opposition Minister of Surreal.

 

To the Shadow Surreal Minister, I say,

Bah! The bunnies became soporiphic. For which you must be held personally accountable, sir!

 

I am sure that the prawn community would find the Right Honorable Gentleman's words to be offensive and I request that he acknowledge that the prawn community's odour problem is not of their own making, but your failure to provide sufficient washing facilities in the vaults.

 

you see, our sureal minister, banannas fish wibble, and more power to him.

here here

 

I put it to you MoT, that the Shadow Minister of Surreal is just quoting Sir Spike and has no ideas of his own. Especially, as Sir Spike was a life long supporter of my party and pooh poohed your party at every available opportuinity.

 

Well, there's no accounting for taste.

 

My Right Honorable friend

// points @ Poodu with a lobster

May wish to remember THAT THESE PRAWNS ARE PLASTIC and no amount of spin will make the intelligent members of the public think otherwise.

This prawn debacle will rage on but our voters know the truth. Prawns stink.

 

exactly the point of plastic prawns Gentleman Poodu.

 

They're plastic!?


//puts down expensive sandwich.

 

// running in, staggering

Hello, everybody, hello. Sorry I'm late, I was in the Houses of Parliament Back Garden spinning round and I got all sick and fell over.

My Spin report is now ready.

Roundabouts are up 6%, 7-inch singles up 2%, whirlwinds remain stable, and The Wheels on the Bus are projected to go Round And Round by up to 34 pence in the pound over the next five years. And he we haven't done it by then, then we will have failed.

Was that the sort of thing you were after?

 

Here Here Minister OJK.

//watches opposition crumble under barrage of impressive stats

 

Now hear this.

By 2007 the minimum prawn will be abolished.

The NHS will recieve a monetry boost, but the increase will be on a performance related prawn basis.

And the elderly will receive free radioactive duffle coats each winter until the end of the parliament.

 

I am shocked at this House's deplorable attitude towards the prawn. And now I hear that not only are our prawns plastic, but that there is discrimination in your ranks towards the lowly minimum prawn.

 

And I sir, am shocked by your bad haircut and poor dress sense. But you don't hear me mentioning it.

We all know that, given the chance, you would bring back the clam and we would go back to the bad ole days of a boom and bust economy.

 

I would like to express my distress at how deputy opposition leader Poodu has aged about 40 years in the last few minutes. Does he agree ... DOES HE AGREE that the house does not need to see that kind of thing on a Thursday morning?

// spins a spinning top

 

The minimum prawn has to be absolished. There's not enough mayonaise to cover it, as I'm sure my Right Honorable Friend will agree.

It is also on our agenda to replace all Argos cashiers with walking talking bumgrapes.

Up the economy!

 

how many frying pans?

 

I would like to express my distress at the fact that OJK is deluded into thinking that the Rt Hon Poodu is the Opposition Leader when it is the Very Rt Hon MOT who is the leader.

I declare that OJK has been drinking mothers ruin and should be escorted from the house.

 

six

 

and I would like to point out that the opposition's first lady has been sniffing nail varnish remover as Minister OJK stated Deputy opposition leader.