Beyond " I Got Shafted " (How Anakin could fix this mess challenge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Trepidation, Jun 28, 2008.

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  1. Trepidation Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2005
    star 3
    The only real parameters are these:

    1.) It has to involve Anakin Solo in a pivotal role.
    2.) It has to resolve the 'messy' post-NJO situation.

    Here's the thread from the challenge....right HERE.
    _________________________________________________


    TITLE: "I GOT SHAFTED
    AUTHOR: Trepidation
    TIME: PRESENT DAY AND AFTER 40 ABY
    CHARACTERS: Anakin Solo; George Lucas
    SUMMARY: This is a response to the "How Anakin could fix this mess" challenge. You're going to have to be a little flexible with the "poetic license" on this one. But, it's all in good fun.


    _________________________________________



    ?I got shafted.?

    ?What?huh?who?s there??

    ?Relax?it?s just me?I?m not going to hurt you.?

    ?Who is it? (clatter) ?I?I?uh?I have a gun.?

    Yeah, right?and Greedo fired first?right Mr. Politically Correct??

    ?Who are you?what do you want!!??

    ?Good questions?and we?ll get to both in time.? The young voice said. ?But first, tell me why you are sitting here in the dark.?

    ?Stress relief?I?m under a lot of pressure?tell me how you got in here.?

    ?You?re locks suck?it wasn?t hard.?

    ?Tell me who you are.?

    ?Good fraggin question. Your writers never really answered that...did they?? The young voice responded with contempt from the darknened shadows. ?I don?t suppose it would be too much of an inconvenience for you to drop that silly cartoon thing for a few minutes and read the riot act to that half-wit publisher on the Expanded Universe would it??

    ?Animation.?

    ?Pardon??

    ?Animation on the Clone Wars?not a cartoon?I tried cartoons already.? George Lucas shrugged in the dark. ?It wasn?t bad?sold a whole heap load of action figures and the Cartoon Network gave me a truck load of money to do it?but every character had a pointy chin and an edgy profile...sort of like an anorexic Disney flick?plus, every time someone lit up a lightsaber, it sounded like a cat hissing.?

    ?Cat??

    ?Think?midget Bothan without the nasty disposition or opposable thumbs.?

    ?Oh.?

    ?Yeah.? Lucas nodded. ?I guess it was okay, but I never really liked cartoons myself?How about you??

    ?Didn?t see it.?

    ?You weren?t alone.? Lucas reached across the desk and felt for the switch to the green Tiffany lamp. The room lit up without warning.

    ?Bloah!!!? Anakin jumped. ?What the hell happened to you!?!??

    ?Haven?t been sleeping too well lately.?

    ?No kidding?and it wouldn?t hurt to shave every once in a while?you look like a mangy Wookiee.?

    ?Huh?I always look like this.? Lucas absently ran a hand through his beard as his eyes widened. ?Hey?hey?you?re?Jesus?? He swallowed. ??you?re Anakin Solo!!?

    ?Yeah.? Anakin nodded with a half-grin. ?Who?s Jesus??

    ?What?...Uh?.not important?one of my gardeners is named Jesus, but?, just nevermind.? Lucas rubbed his eyes with balled fists. ?What are you doing here?how??

    ?Well, it?s not like I don?t have wealth of free time these days.? Anakin spat. ?You try living on residuals after getting the ax as a teenager.? Anakin looked around the high ceiling work den taking in the absolute treasure trove of memorabilia and art. ?Cripes?you must be loaded. ? He returned his eyes to the man before him and nearly dove for cover.

    ?Holy Hisppa?you did have a blaster!!?

    ?What?.this?? Lucas held up the long barreled pistol. ?Nah?just a prop?In fact, this is your old man?s DL-44.?

    ?How come you have it??

    ?Harrison didn?t want it?he sniped out some crap about being typecast thanks to me and marched out of my office down at the studio before I could give it to him.? Lucas laughed. ?But, he came back?they all come back. Two years later he was griping that I had typecast him as Indiana Jones. Ironically, he took the whip with him that time. I think he?s going to sell it on Ebay.?

    ?Harrison??

    ?Harrison Ford?Han Solo.? Lucas seemed at a loss on how to e
  2. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    May 20, 2008
    star 8
    Well, the idea is pretty good. However, the "what?" question gets a little old after a while.
  3. Trepidation Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2005
    star 3
    What? :eek: :p [face_laugh]
  4. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    May 20, 2008
    star 8
    No, I like your story; it's creative. However, the repitition is a little annoying. Otherwise, it's good.
  5. Falcon Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 7, 2002
    star 8
    They killed Mara and Jacen? This is why I no longer read the series, too many characters got killed off

    Interesting plot line though bring back Anakin I'm in complete agreement
  6. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Trep, you really have no idea how ingenius this is... [face_laugh] Absolutely PRICELESS! :D

  7. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    Just marking this, Trep, so I can catch up and read later. :)
  8. Golden_Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2005
    star 4
    [face_laugh] The image of Anakin S. slapping George was priceless!
  9. Darthrevan4ever Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2008
    star 6
  10. Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2001
    star 5
    ROTFLMAO!!! [face_laugh] That was hilarious! Excellent, excellent work. If only it were truly possible. [face_mischief]
  11. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    i'm back as promised. Loved it - a real hoot. I agree with Anakin - not surprisingly - that we need less angst and more original trilogy style Star Wars writing. That's been my mantra for years. Oh boy - I laughed at that mention of the Crystal Star - that was a painful book. Aie! As was Planet of Twilight.

    Loved the image of Karen Traviss strapping fire extinguishers to her back. :D

    Thanks for the laugh - and I really enjoyed the laconic wit in this.
  12. DaenaBenjen42 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2005
    star 5
    I liked this and totally agree with Anakin about Luke surprising people were he to be made independent.


    Well done. :)
  13. canadianjedimama Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2008
    star 4
    Darth Caf Brewer....ROTHLMBO [face_laugh]

    Trep... this was awesome. Very, very funny. Made me laugh out loud so many times I had to start reading over.

    =D= Great post!

    CJM
  14. The_Slilent_One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2004
    star 3
    hahaha this fic is pure Genius!

    Requesting a sequel :)
  15. Abby Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2004
    star 4
    I think you managed to convey here, with a great deal of humour, many of the things that a lot of us are thinking about what's been going on lately in pro-fic. Well done.

    ~Abby
  16. TelannaTani Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2005
    star 3
    Off-the-wall, but creative, hilarious, and a lot of fun! You have some great ideas here, Trep. Love the nod to the forums. :D

    And Darth Caf Brewer. Priceless.

  17. UrbanJedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1999
    star 4
    Well played, sir. Well played.
  18. Griffins_Ember Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2002
    Well we've all been thinkin it...
    Bout time someone actually said it..
    the new books really did take a
    nice long trip down the fresher..
    the only reason i've been reading them
    still is because of boredom and the fact
    that i think Jaina is awesome.....
    otherwise they pretty much blow...

    kinda wish they'ed bring zhan back
    some more at least he always kept the
    main characters alive and his endings
    were happy.
  19. The_Slilent_One Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2004
    star 3
    he always kept the main characters alive and his endings were happy.

    DelRay seem to believe that alive main characters and happy endings are too unrealistic to have ne place in starwars.. next thing u know they will be retroactively removing all references to hyperspace, the force and lightsabers :rolleyes: :p
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