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Beyond - Legends " I Got Shafted " (How Anakin could fix this mess challenge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Trepidation, Jun 28, 2008.

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  1. Trepidation

    Trepidation Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 3, 2005
    The only real parameters are these:

    1.) It has to involve Anakin Solo in a pivotal role.
    2.) It has to resolve the 'messy' post-NJO situation.

    Here's the thread from the challenge....right [link=]HERE[/link].

    AUTHOR: Trepidation
    CHARACTERS: Anakin Solo; George Lucas
    SUMMARY: This is a response to the "How Anakin could fix this mess" challenge. You're going to have to be a little flexible with the "poetic license" on this one. But, it's all in good fun.


    ?I got shafted.?

    ?What?huh?who?s there??

    ?Relax?it?s just me?I?m not going to hurt you.?

    ?Who is it? (clatter) ?I?I?uh?I have a gun.?

    Yeah, right?and Greedo fired first?right Mr. Politically Correct??

    ?Who are you?what do you want!!??

    ?Good questions?and we?ll get to both in time.? The young voice said. ?But first, tell me why you are sitting here in the dark.?

    ?Stress relief?I?m under a lot of pressure?tell me how you got in here.?

    ?You?re locks suck?it wasn?t hard.?

    ?Tell me who you are.?

    ?Good fraggin question. Your writers never really answered that...did they?? The young voice responded with contempt from the darknened shadows. ?I don?t suppose it would be too much of an inconvenience for you to drop that silly cartoon thing for a few minutes and read the riot act to that half-wit publisher on the Expanded Universe would it??



    ?Animation on the Clone Wars?not a cartoon?I tried cartoons already.? George Lucas shrugged in the dark. ?It wasn?t bad?sold a whole heap load of action figures and the Cartoon Network gave me a truck load of money to do it?but every character had a pointy chin and an edgy profile...sort of like an anorexic Disney flick?plus, every time someone lit up a lightsaber, it sounded like a cat hissing.?


    ?Think?midget Bothan without the nasty disposition or opposable thumbs.?


    ?Yeah.? Lucas nodded. ?I guess it was okay, but I never really liked cartoons myself?How about you??

    ?Didn?t see it.?

    ?You weren?t alone.? Lucas reached across the desk and felt for the switch to the green Tiffany lamp. The room lit up without warning.

    ?Bloah!!!? Anakin jumped. ?What the hell happened to you!?!??

    ?Haven?t been sleeping too well lately.?

    ?No kidding?and it wouldn?t hurt to shave every once in a while?you look like a mangy Wookiee.?

    ?Huh?I always look like this.? Lucas absently ran a hand through his beard as his eyes widened. ?Hey?hey?you?re?Jesus?? He swallowed. ??you?re Anakin Solo!!?

    ?Yeah.? Anakin nodded with a half-grin. ?Who?s Jesus??

    ?What?...Uh?.not important?one of my gardeners is named Jesus, but?, just nevermind.? Lucas rubbed his eyes with balled fists. ?What are you doing here?how??

    ?Well, it?s not like I don?t have wealth of free time these days.? Anakin spat. ?You try living on residuals after getting the ax as a teenager.? Anakin looked around the high ceiling work den taking in the absolute treasure trove of memorabilia and art. ?Cripes?you must be loaded. ? He returned his eyes to the man before him and nearly dove for cover.

    ?Holy Hisppa?you did have a blaster!!?

    ?What?.this?? Lucas held up the long barreled pistol. ?Nah?just a prop?In fact, this is your old man?s DL-44.?

    ?How come you have it??

    ?Harrison didn?t want it?he sniped out some crap about being typecast thanks to me and marched out of my office down at the studio before I could give it to him.? Lucas laughed. ?But, he came back?they all come back. Two years later he was griping that I had typecast him as Indiana Jones. Ironically, he took the whip with him that time. I think he?s going to sell it on Ebay.?


    ?Harrison Ford?Han Solo.? Lucas seemed at a loss on how to e
  2. Jedi Gunny

    Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    May 20, 2008
    Well, the idea is pretty good. However, the "what?" question gets a little old after a while.
  3. Trepidation

    Trepidation Jedi Youngling star 3

    Aug 3, 2005
    What? :eek: :p [face_laugh]
  4. Jedi Gunny

    Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    May 20, 2008
    No, I like your story; it's creative. However, the repitition is a little annoying. Otherwise, it's good.
  5. Falcon

    Falcon Chosen One star 10

    Feb 7, 2002
    They killed Mara and Jacen? This is why I no longer read the series, too many characters got killed off

    Interesting plot line though bring back Anakin I'm in complete agreement
  6. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Trep, you really have no idea how ingenius this is... [face_laugh] Absolutely PRICELESS! :D

  7. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 8, 2002
    Just marking this, Trep, so I can catch up and read later. :)
  8. Golden_Jedi

    Golden_Jedi Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 10, 2005
    [face_laugh] The image of Anakin S. slapping George was priceless!
  9. Darthrevan4ever

    Darthrevan4ever Jedi Master star 6

    May 3, 2008
  10. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Master star 5

    Sep 26, 2001
    ROTFLMAO!!! [face_laugh] That was hilarious! Excellent, excellent work. If only it were truly possible. [face_mischief]
  11. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Jun 8, 2002
    i'm back as promised. Loved it - a real hoot. I agree with Anakin - not surprisingly - that we need less angst and more original trilogy style Star Wars writing. That's been my mantra for years. Oh boy - I laughed at that mention of the Crystal Star - that was a painful book. Aie! As was Planet of Twilight.

    Loved the image of Karen Traviss strapping fire extinguishers to her back. :D

    Thanks for the laugh - and I really enjoyed the laconic wit in this.
  12. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    May 15, 2005
    I liked this and totally agree with Anakin about Luke surprising people were he to be made independent.

    Well done. :)
  13. canadianjedimama

    canadianjedimama Jedi Knight star 4

    Jan 28, 2008
    Darth Caf Brewer....ROTHLMBO [face_laugh]

    Trep... this was awesome. Very, very funny. Made me laugh out loud so many times I had to start reading over.

    =D= Great post!

  14. The_Slilent_One

    The_Slilent_One Jedi Master star 3

    Sep 19, 2004
    hahaha this fic is pure Genius!

    Requesting a sequel :)
  15. Abby

    Abby Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 7, 2004
    I think you managed to convey here, with a great deal of humour, many of the things that a lot of us are thinking about what's been going on lately in pro-fic. Well done.

  16. TelannaTani

    TelannaTani Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 28, 2005
    Off-the-wall, but creative, hilarious, and a lot of fun! You have some great ideas here, Trep. Love the nod to the forums. :D

    And Darth Caf Brewer. Priceless.

  17. UrbanJedi

    UrbanJedi Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Dec 14, 1999
    Well played, sir. Well played.
  18. Griffins_Ember

    Griffins_Ember Jedi Youngling

    Jul 18, 2002
    Well we've all been thinkin it...
    Bout time someone actually said it..
    the new books really did take a
    nice long trip down the fresher..
    the only reason i've been reading them
    still is because of boredom and the fact
    that i think Jaina is awesome.....
    otherwise they pretty much blow...

    kinda wish they'ed bring zhan back
    some more at least he always kept the
    main characters alive and his endings
    were happy.
  19. The_Slilent_One

    The_Slilent_One Jedi Master star 3

    Sep 19, 2004
    he always kept the main characters alive and his endings were happy.

    DelRay seem to believe that alive main characters and happy endings are too unrealistic to have ne place in starwars.. next thing u know they will be retroactively removing all references to hyperspace, the force and lightsabers :rolleyes: :p
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