Omaha, NE I gotta vent...

(Please read the following with quite a few grains of salt)

Can someone please please please please tell me why I should care about Jen & Ben? To hear Entertainment Tonight or Extra tell it, they make it sound like I really really need to care about these two. In my heart I know I should but I just don't. Somone please help make the pain stop. I don't know how much more I can take!!!

 

Just watch the Holiday Special again. That always cures what ails ya!

 

Craig, I don't care about Ben Affleck either. But I will talk with Jennifer tonight and find out what SHE thinks of him, post-breakup and all that.

(Yeah, I'm just helping her through the heartbreak right now. And no, after being with me, she does NOT miss him. Not even a LITTLE bit. What can I say? I'm a manly man!)

 

Another think I gotta complain about- Why does Channel 3 feel the need to run Extra right after Entertainment Tonight (or shoudl I call it Ben & Jen Tonight)? They're both the same frigging show!!! Not only that, they both suck! One is just a repeat of the other. Gaaaaaaaah! It's enough to drive a guy to drink. I really miss cable...

 

After ringing J-Lo's bell multiple times over the course of the past week or so, she asked me, "Ben WHO?!?"

And if you're going to drink, then I suggest Smirnoff Ice Triple Black . . . it's on sale at Super Saver (I think) for $5.87 for a six-pack. Goooood stuff!

 

For some reason I think it was more like "Chris who? Meet Mr. Restraining Order!" Muwahahaha....because apparently Bennifer is back together....just to keep you updated Craig, because you care so much!

 

Ergh . . .

Well, Jen sure was good before the restraining order was issued . . . !

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!

 

Sounds like someone has been finetuning their lightsaber skills in Mark's bathroom again. Beware people before you shake "Jen" when you meet Tharon for the first time.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

 

Ouch.

At least I don't have to pour a six-pack of beer on my hand just to get laid!

"Now that's not polite." -- Milo, to Joe Hallenbeck, in The Last Boy Scout

 

No, I heard you have to use Novocaine on your hand just to get it to go near your piece. Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

 

Oh, and congratulations. I noticed that you seem to be keeping your posts to less than 30 lines. I'm impressed. =P

 

John- Something tells me we probably shouldn't put you & Tharon in the same room together for an extended period of time...

 

It's all in fun. Well, I think it is.... Nah, me and Chris get along great. Just as long as that room isn't Marks bathroom we get along smilingly. =P

 

My limit is 30 LINES?!? Wow, I can't believe it! How can I ever discuss anything in detail in only 30 lines or less?? My goal is to diffuse people's attention spans and then bludgeon them into submission through the spouting of endless inane drivel. (And aren't I good at it.)

And that shot about needing Novocaine was below the belt . . . try and keep the gloves up, or the ref will take a point away! And my hand is very submissive, and eager to please, I'll have you know. =P

"Wait, what did I say?!?" -- C-3PO in Attack of the Clones

Yeah, I was stupid with some of my posts a few days back, but things are cool with everybody I know. Once people accept that I'm stupid, they find me MUCH easier to deal with . . .

"Never underestimate the depths of human stupidity." -- Friedrich Schiller