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Saga I Hate Nerf (post-TPM, Obi/Ani humour viggie)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LianaMara, Feb 1, 2005.

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  1. LianaMara

    LianaMara Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 2000
    Thanks for clicking! :)

    Title: I Hate Nerf
    Author: LianaMara
    Timeframe: post-TPM
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Siri Tachi, Ferus Olin
    Genre: humor, vignette
    Keywords: Obi/Ani
    Summary: Obi-Wan and Anakin find themselves faced with a difficult choice . . . of the edible sort.

    AN1: Inspired by different incidents that have occurred during family outings ? ma famille is very evil. :p And since I?ve been mixing prose styles, I settled for a good ole third-person narrative. Don?t worry, though ? Obi-Wan?s journal should return in vignette #6. And beaucoup thanks to oba, for betaing. :D

    AN2: ?I Hate Nerf? is the fourth vignette in a tentative seven-vignette series. It?s not essential that you read the other three; there may be some tie-ins to the others, but they are minimal. ;)

    ?More than His Master? series-
    The Education of Anakin Skywalker
    Simple Words
    Ordinary Day
    I Hate Nerf









    [b]I Hate Nerf[/b]





    Their mission had been going well, up until their hosts brought out their dinner.

    Seated on two makeshift tables scattered around the campsite, Obi-Wan and Siri and their respective padawans had been expecting a meat dish of some sort. The Devaronians had made quite a show of displaying the wild nerf they had caught; their leader had detailed the hunting experience for two tedious hours.

    But Obi-Wan had not realized that their hosts preferred their meat to be undercooked, to put it lightly.

    ?Master . . .?

    He kept his eyes on the Devaronians, a gracious smile plastered on his face. ?What? Do you sense something??

    A period of awkward silence elapsed, then he heard Anakin shift in his seat and sigh noisily. ?No, it?s not that, Master . . .?

    Obi-Wan glanced around the camp anxiously, trying to catch Siri?s eye. Seated about ten meters from her table, he had to strain to get her attention. She raised an eyebrow, her expression irritatingly blank, then returned to playing with her food. Ferus also seemed cautiously focused on his dinner. He saw nothing to unsettle his padawan in such a perplexing way.

    ?Clearly, this problem of yours does not relate to the safety or integrity of our mission in any way, for Jedi Tachi seems to have noticed nothing. Am I correct??

    Anakin picked up his fork and began to tap it on the corner of the table. ?Yes, Master.?

    Obi-Wan turned to fix his stare on his very fidgety padawan. ?Then what is it?? he asked quietly.

    ?It?s just . . . I can?t eat this.?

    ?Anakin, what have I told you about??

    His padawan rolled his eyes, his discomfort visibly increasing. ?Obi-Wan, I like food. Really. You know that. And I?m grateful that the Devaronians have provided us with a meal. But . . . I can?t eat the nerf.?

    Obi-Wan looked at him exasperatingly. ?You told me once that you love nerf. And you always eat mine.?

    ?Yeah, well, that?s ?cause it?s cooked. This meat is raw! It?s still bleeding, for Force?s sake!?

    ?We must respect the customs of our hosts, Anakin. They have given us a generous meal, and to refuse to eat it would be an insult towards them.?

    ?Master, I?m very appreciative of free food. But I?m not going to risk food poisoning just to show my gratitude. I mean, look at it!?

    He glanced down at his own dish rather quickly. His padawan was slightly correct, for the meat did look very unappetizing. Picking up a knife, he prodded it tentatively, and was forced to avert his gaze when a mixture of blood, water, and slimy green liquid came oozing forth.

    ?It does appear to be quite disgusting. But Jedi Tachi and Padawan Olin are eating it, so??

    ?They?re not.?

    Obi-Wa
     
  2. Jedikma

    Jedikma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    LMAO [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    That was so funny!!! I love how you describe everything, your humor is wonderful. :)
     
  3. Zebra3

    Zebra3 Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 28, 2004
    [face_laugh] LOL! Wonderfully funny story! Great Job :)
     
  4. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    *hearts it, precious* [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]

    How do you nail Obi-Wan and Anakin every time? With such grace and humor? :* However you do it, it's wonderful. [:D]
     
  5. Starlight-Pixiedust

    Starlight-Pixiedust Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 16, 2004
    That was great! Comedy can be very hard to write (well at least for me) but you nailed it!
     
  6. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Lei, you nearly made me sick! I had to hold my mouth! I'm serious! Yuck nerf.

    Other than that, great story! :) I love how Anakin?s always right and Obi-Wan is grudgingly wrong. Heehee.

    Ams [face_love]
     
  7. z-95headhunter

    z-95headhunter Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Funny! Like it, I did.
     
  8. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face-laugh] [face_laugh]

    Absolutely hilarious! I loved it!
     
  9. CodyMonKenobi

    CodyMonKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 29, 2001
    That was Awesome, I loved it.

    You do ANi and Obi so well, I can't wait to read the next one. If you don't mind could you pm me when it's up?
     
  10. Vongchild

    Vongchild Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    Cuute!!!! Very funny!
     
  11. LianaMara

    LianaMara Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 2000
    I love replying. ;) [face_dancing]


    Jedikma- Aw, thank you! :D

    And I snuck Siri into this one! :p Actually, she crept in herself.

    Zebra3- Hehe. Thanks! :)

    oba- *hearts the beta, mumsicle* [face_love]

    How do you nail Obi-Wan and Anakin every time? With such grace and humor? However you do it, it's wonderful.

    Well . . . I have been known to read the Jedi Quest books over and over and over again. [face_blush] Sneaking them out of my little sister?s bookshelf like illicit objects. :p I have some of the books almost memorized, because I think the best way to understand a character is to get them stuck into your head. And since Obi-Wan and Anakin?s relationship sorta reminds me of that of my older brother and me, I borrow some stuff from my wacky family history, too.

    Although my Obi does have the tendency to be a bit overtly oblivious in the pre-posting stages. ;)

    Starlight-Pixiedust- Thanks! :)

    Comedy can be very hard to write (well at least for me) but you nailed it!

    Yay, I?m glad you think so! :D I had to focus on not getting into the world of slapstick craziness, and keeping everything focused ? it tried to get out of control by the end. ;)

    Amsie- :( [face_devil] Yuck YUCK nerf. I have grossed myself out now too.

    Other than that, great story! I love how Anakin?s always right and Obi-Wan is grudgingly wrong. Heehee.

    Thanks, dear. [face_love] Anakin takes on the role of ?teacher? a lot, doesn?t he? But poor Obi-Wan does need clueing in to the real world sometimes. [face_mischief]

    z-95headhunter- Thank you. :) Happy, am I.

    VaderLVR- :D Well, I?m glad you enjoyed it!

    CodyMonKenobi- Thank you! :) I?m glad you like my Obi-Wan and Anakin ? I think they?re the most entertaining characters I?ve written ? because some of the ideas that pop into my head about them send me into giggles. It?s a lot of fun for me to write these viggies.

    I can't wait to read the next one. If you don't mind could you pm me when it's up?

    Sure thing! ;) Hopefully I?ll get it finished soon . . . ish. :p

    Vongchild- Hehe. Thanks! :)
     
  12. mixza

    mixza Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2004
    LOL! [face_laugh] Sooo funny... I can understand Anakin's refusal to eat raw Nerf [face_sick] but I wonder how Ferus and Siri cheated? [face_thinking]
     
  13. LianaMara

    LianaMara Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 2000
    Replying is so much fun! Especially when my sanity is present. :p


    mixza- Hehe, I'm glad you liked it! :)

    I can understand Anakin's refusal to eat raw Nerf but I wonder how Ferus and Siri cheated?

    Weeeelll . . . since Obi-Wan and Anakin never exactly saw them cheat, technically that is unknown. :p (aka, I didn't want to find a Force way to dispose of food. Lazy, lazy, I know. ;) )

    But perhaps they used the Force to take little pieces from the nerf and "drop" them off somewhere else. Like in a bush, or behind something . . . [face_devil]


     
  14. LadyPadme

    LadyPadme Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2002



    Hilarious! [face_laugh]

    Why do I get the feeling you've disposed of some unappetizing mess in some similar fashion?

    The part where Obi-Wan nearly lost consciousness had me rolling!

    Great job!
     
  15. Knight_Aragorn

    Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2003
    Urgh... I don't blame Anakin. That meat sounded gross. [face_sick] :p Great story. LOL, Obi-Wan's reaction was priceless.

    ?Eahmayuck!? Obi-Wan replied.

    So eloquent... ;)
     
  16. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2003
    Much too funny![face_laugh] I can so see that happening.
     
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