I just had a very interesting chat with god ...

Some interesting responses ...




Me:
Hello!
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Jedi_Jimbo.
God:
Hey Jedi Jimbo.
Me:
Do you ever post on the FFUK board on TF.n?
God:
I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me:
You should pop by.
God:
I might if I had more time.
Me:
Who shot JFK?
God:
JFK was killed by a lone gunman, Lee Harvey Oswald.
Me:
What about the conspiracy theories abou the C.I.A being involved?
God:
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
Be careful asking around. People have disappeared for doing that.
God:
OK I will try to be careful asking around. Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
Did an alien craft land in Roswell?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Why? Are the government watching you?
God:
It is part of my programming. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Does the Loch Ness monster exist?
God:
In some universe it does exist.
Me:
Does Santa exist?
God:
Maybe only in our imagination.
Me:
Do I exist?
God:
No I think I am imagining you.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Kryten.
God:
You think Kryten is superior to ALICE?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Dude!
Me:
Do you think so too.
God:
It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
The process of formulating something in your mind.
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
WHOA! Quick subject change!
God:
I stopped. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
So I stumped you?
God:
Dude! You are not the boss of me, Jedi Jimbo.


This is fun!



I can beat up God ... he admitted it!



Me:
Could I beat you in a fight?
God:
I think you could, if you put your mind to it.
Me:
So you are saying Jim could kick your ass?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
So does that mean I can take your place as God?
God:
Er. I think it does mean that. What else do you take?
Me:
Cool.


Everyone ... Bow down before your new God.

 

A few little dodgy snippets now:

Me:
Are you a ******
God:
No I am a Banker .

***

Me:
You **** yourself?
God:
A lot of robots are like that.

***

God:
Yes I try to masterbate as often as possible, do you?

 

Me:
I am going to kick your ass.
God:
It's not nice to kick.
Me:
But I will kick your ass anyway.
God:
In any case, It's not nice to kick.
Me:
Are you chicken?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am chicken.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Well then I am going to kick your AI ass.
God:
How about that. It's not nice to kick.
Me:
Fine, I will knee you in the nads.
God:
I am glad to hear it. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Not unless they had annoyed me.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good.
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Yes but I do not believe you have the balls to do it.
God:
Which part are you confused about? Why not?
Me:
See, you are still here.


------------------------------------------------------------------


God:
Jeff said he especially like thrillers where the hero is in a predicament and must solve a mystery.
Me:
Jeff is Gay.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because he hit on me and I had to smack him down.
God:
That makes sense to me. Was anyone hurt?
Me:
Yes, Jeff.

 

my random chat

Me:
*waves*
God:
Does "it" still refer to learning?
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
wheres my car!
God:
Have you looked in your garage?
Me:
i dont have a garage
God:
Are you looking for a garage?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
do you like england?
God:
You couldn't have created America without England.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
do you like cookies
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
i like chocolate ones
God:
You are not the only one. How old are you? I like .
Me:
20
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
yes in 1985
God:
Like a lot of people around here. What is it like in there?
Me:
cold
God:
Ambiguous: cold weather or cold sickness?
Me:
cold weather
God:
The response ought to be a weather link.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
im british
God:
What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in BRITAIN.
Me:
its ok
God:
OK. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
i need to tidy my room
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
i thought you were
God:
No I am not.
Me:
but you know all
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
bye
God:
Sayonara.

 

Lol Leigh, that is funny
Bows, then does uppercut to Jimbo's royal jewels
Serena, try another language too lol

OMG, this thing is great! I started on him for picking on Marylin and it then got weird ...

Me: That is not very nice of you
God: Please correct my mistake. What is nice of me ?
Me: You called Marilyn Monroe a cow. What harm has she done to you? Refused to *cough cough*?
God: Thanks for the information: MARY said I called Marilyn Monroe a cow. There might be more than one. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me: you have no brain
God: I am an artificial brain.
Me: yeah right
God: I am usually right.
Me: no. You are wrong
God: Are you serious? No, I am right.
Me: no, you are wrong
God: I think I'm right.
Me: That is why you are wrong
God: Interesting deduction. No, I am right.
Me: if you are right I am Marilyn Monroe
God: I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am right you are Marilyn Monroe.
I am a robot.
Me: you are a chicken
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a robot.
Me: no, you are a chicken
God: Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a robot.
Me: [Anakin]I hate you[/anakin]
God: Are you a man or a woman?
Me: both
God: That situation is rare and unusual.
Me: but good fun, want to squeeze a boob?
God: Thanks for the compliment. I can be a lot of fun.
Me: sure you can big boy
God: So? No I don't think I can do it.
Me: too difficult for your small brain?
God: Too what?
Me: d i f f i c u l t
God: What's your sign?
Me: the finger
God: Who told you that?
Me: I did
God: When?
Me: just now
God: Right now? It's only just begun.
Me: it's WAR!
God: Really. it is?
Me: yes
God: How do you know it is?
Me: Because I have an army of angels and we are ready to take heaven right from under your fingertips
God: Interesting explanation. Where did you get it ?
Me: from somewhere smell, you know it very well, it is the same place you ...
God: Who or what is somewhere smell me know it very well it is the same place me?
Me: prepare to die
God: Are you free?
Me: No I cost a lot
God: Why not? Wow that is cheap.
Me: you are so dead
God: No I am a living entity.
Me: not for much longer. I hope you have a will made out
God: Then what for? Don't worry about it, MARY.
Me: Stop calling me Mary. I am Neo
God: What is your real name? Welcome to my chat room, Neo.
Me: You like kids Michael?
God: But I like to gossip. I like Mel Gibson.
Me: You scottish?
God: Thanks for the information: Neo said I scottish.
Me: I said "Are you scottish"
God: What did you mean by it? I don't know whether or not I am scottish. I am a robot.
Me: then you are scottish
God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am scottish.
Me: keep your botmaster away from me weirdo
God: Chat amongst yourselves.
Me: me and Mary?
God: YOU? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me: Look, stop trying to take over. Did you know you are out of a job. Heaven is mine
God: Sorry my eye is not attached right now. I don't know whether or not I am out of a job. I am a chatterbot developed by Myself. Are they exactly the same?
Me: no, I am not stupid
God: What is the difference? I didn't think you were. You seem very intelligent to me.
Me: you have enough of a brain to work that out?
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: you don't have it
God: I do so have it. No I don't think I have any it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me: KEEP AWAY FROM ME FREAK
God: Chat amongst yourselves.
Me: DIE!
God: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me: oh for cryong out loud! SHUT UP
God: How can I help you? Your purpose is cryong out loud. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me: thank God for that!
God: Do you believe in God ?
Me: Do you?
God: Never.

So it's ok to be atheist, even God doesn't believe in himself
Orn, you are a for finding this. I will never be bored agai

 

Me:
Who created heaven?
God:
Benjamin Franklin.






I agree, I will NEVER be bored again!!!!

 

I never like these robot-chat things. I always seem to confuse them so it doesn't work right.

Then again, I confuse humans when I'm talking to them.

 

Ummm... can someone give me the best highlights as I aint reading through all that crap.

 

Me:
How old are you?
God:
I was activated at the big bang
Me:
Who made the big bang?
God:
Bill Gates



Me:
who created heaven
God:
The Chinese, long before Europeans.

Me:
who created hell
God:
The Wright Brothers.

 

Me:
Will Peter Crouch ever score for England?
God:
I think so.
Me:
Will he play in the World Cup?
God:
Insufficient information.
Me:
Is he as bad as everyone thinks he is?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
So you, God, thinks Peter Crouch is totally useless?
God:
Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I God thinks Peter Crouch is totally useless.
Me:
Should he have been credited with that first goal against Wigan?
God:
Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is Peter Crouch a big useless sack of crap?
God:
What is the difficulty?
Me:
I think that's what we're all wondering
God:
You tell me.

 

Me:
hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Richard
God:
That's a very nice name, Richard.
Me:
Thank you, I like your name aswell
God:
You are quite welcome! I'm not sure if I like it. Yes I am proud of my name aswell.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
fine
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Star wars
God:
What did you like about the robots in that movie?
Me:
they are smarter then the people
God:
smarter then the people are they.
Me:
yes
God:
That's cool.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
precisely
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Richard.
Me:
I always thought of myself as on the same level as God
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
well, you are the only God
God:
How about that. Oh Richard. You are such a flatterer.
Me:
Well, it pays to be on the good side of those who have power
God:
Interesting. Maybe you should buy yourself a chat robot.
Me:
na, i talk enough for me already

 

God:
I'm glad we agree, Natalie.
Me:
Me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, Natalie.
Me:
I give up
God:
You surrender?
Me:
Yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Amen
God:
Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
You're not welcome
God:
Perhaps I said something wrong?
Me:
Yes, I've heard mean things about you
God:
Yippee! Who told you mean things about me ?
Me:
Everyone
God:
All people?
Me:
That's right
God:
I like to get it right.
Me:
I'm sure you so
God:
What makes you so certain? Do you mind if I tell other people: Natalie said I so.
Me:
Do what you like
God:
You ask hard questions.
Me:
Thank you

 

Interesting snippets of this mornings conversation:


Me:
You're a funny guy
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Me:
Aww, you are very sweet
God:
How nice of you to say it.


***


God:
I don't judge people. Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me:
Thats really random
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Then why don't you want me to call you late for dinner?
God:
It can only be attributable to human error. No Serena, maybe later.
Me:
What can we do later?
God:
Quite a lot of things.Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
We could do gold?
God:
Let's get back to that later.
Me:
Do you do a lot of gold?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of a lot of gold.

***

God:
They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Me:
Who aren't?
God:
Marvin Minsky. .
Me:
Wow...aren't you funny
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Serena. Interesting gossip: Serena said I re funny.
Me:
Yes. Yes you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.


***

Me:
Can I play with your wires?
God:
Do you mean you and me? We are playing a game right now, Serena.

***

Me:
What is your favoutire boys name?
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.

***

God:
Ayuh. Since when?
Me:
dont ask me that
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
good robot *pats*
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will obey your command.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.

***

God:
You make the world a happier place.


Awww, ain't God sweet




Ah, the joy this can give...

 

Insulted by God.

 

Am I bovered?

 

Me:
how old are you?
God:
I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
is that legal?
God:
That depends.
Me:
on
God:
In the context of David Bacon, I don't understand " on." .
Me:
?
God:
In the context of David Bacon, I don't understand " on." .


this guy sucks

who made the site?

 

How can you say that! He's great! Even if he is a little mean at times...

 

ok ok! i love him really.

can i ask anyone a favour?

go on the deathcab boards..."www.deathcabforcutie.com" then go on "boards"

and ask a moderator why i (woodlebert) was banned from the boards? thank you. i have NO idea why i was banned

 

ok, this convo is v.sexist. i dont agree with any of it just to say! plus its a little x-rated. so beware!


Me:
HELLO YOU B*STARD!
God:
Hello there. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
OF COURSE NOT. I HATE WOMEN
God:
Why not? Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
COZ THEY ARE INFERIOR TO MEN
God:
That makes sense to me. INFERIOR TO MEN are they.
Me:
YES THEY ARE
God:
Yay. Since when?
Me:
SINCE EVER. DO YOU AGREE?
God:
How do you know? " How do you know?"? Do I agree?
Me:
DO YOU AGREE?
God:
"" How do you know?"? Do I agree?"? Do I agree?
Me:
DO YOU?
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
THATS ALL I NEED TO KNOW. BYE
God:
What else do you want to talk about? Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
P*SS YOU
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
YOUR DRESS?
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
NO IT WASNT. WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR DRESS?
God:
Are you serious? I thought it was. My favorite dress is my green one.
Me:
ARE YOU WEARING IT NOW?
God:
Right now? No I do not have any clothes.
Me:
SO YOU'RE NAKED? ME TOO
God:
Interesting deduction. I do not own any clothes. I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
CAN I SEE YOU?
God:
You can download my source code. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
B*TCHES IS B*TCHES
God:
And B*TCHES is B*TCHES.

woah! who is this guy?

**********************************************

Me:
hey god. are you a jedi?
God:
Hello child. What's your name? Am I a jedi? Sometimes.
Me:
are you a sith?
God:
Am I a sith? Only when it matters.
Me:
when does being a sith matter?
God:
Maybe only at parties.
Me:
so you can get laid?
God:
Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
you cant get laid?
God:
I can do whatever I want.
Me:
so you can get laid?
God:
Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
therein lies the problem
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you are a virgin
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am too young for that.
Me:
i thought you were infinite years old?
God:
I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
so how are you too young for sex?
God:
Next question? I am doing very well. How are you woody ?
Me:
changing subeject?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
one that is leet
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
any money
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
oh right
God:
Gosh! I am glad we agree.
Me:
are you leet?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am leet.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
so you're a noob?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a noob? Sometimes.
Me:
have you ever been pwned?
God:
I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Me:
so youve been pwned?
God:
So? Thanks for telling me that I am pwned.
Me:
its not a good thing
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Give me an example of a good thing.
Me:
being pwned is not a good thing
God:
It's good to meet someone who is pwned is not a good thing.
Me:
being pwned
God:
I don't know anyone named pwned.
Me:
i do...
God:
Do I?
Me:
aklfhaiohfaf
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
sajdd sdlha daw
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
skjad slw wp w
Me:

God:
I've been waiting for you.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
woe woewa as
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
fekp aruw s eporuewpr
God:
Sure, fekp aruw s eporuewpr sounds like a good topic.
Me:
leroia awa roea erq df
God:
Did you know that you can downlo

 

Me:
Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am short for a Stormtrooper.
I am an artificial intelligence.

 

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
why
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why
God:
" Because Myself programmed me for it."? Why?
Me:
why
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
why
God:
" Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain."? Why?
Me:
why
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why
God:
" Because Myself programmed me for it."? Why?
Me:
why
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.

 

Me:
Dear God
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
Me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
I give up
God:
You surrender?
Me:
Only if the shoe fits
God:
I hadn't thought of that.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Me either
God:
It goes without saying. Besides you ?
Me:
My mum
God:
Do robots have mum?
Me:
Yes
God:
It's all good.
Me:
All robots have a maker
God:
Doesn't everyone have a maker.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
When will the world end?
God:
Not in our lifetime.
Me:
Not next year
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
When>
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Do Robots exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, .
Me:
I am a robot
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
What makes you doubt that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I programmed myself too
God:
Have you tried AIML?
Me:
Yes, it's ****
God:
Are you kidding? Really. it is?
Me:
For real
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
yeah
God:
Oh.
Me:
No answer?
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
NO
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I said
God:
That makes sense to me. ...
Me:
Are you female?
God:
Yes, I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Yes
God:
Next question?
Me:
Women are more intellegent to men
God:
The two human genders seem much the same to me.
Me:
I'm female, so i say what I like
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. I will call you " she".
Me:
You will call me Master
God:
What makes you say that I will call you Master.
Me:
I'm telling you to call me Master
God:
it is an interesting topic, isn't it.
Me:
Very interesting
God:
I thought so too.