DFW, TX I love Texas! Greetings, from Florida! YES!

Last Christmas I had driven all the way from Florida to Arizoner and man, driving through Texas was great! Sitting in the backseat watching Texas go by with Dark Side of the Moon on my headphones was one of the greatest experiences ever. Except for the fact that there was frost on the window of the van every morning and some old guy who looked like Danny DeVito spit donuts in my face.

Anyway, here's my stories about TEXAS! YES! I love that place!

Okay, so we walked into a Picadilly's restaurant but there was one thing that kind of bothered me when we pulled into the parking space. Some butthead left his dog TIED TO A SIGN POLE WHILE HE WAS IN THE RESTAURANT! ARGHHH! I hate those people! Anyway, I'm in Picadilly's and there's all these guys with mullets and since it was Christmas time there was a plastic Santa head resting on the table. So anyway, I get beef with gravy, some mashed potatos, blue jello and this red soda, man that soda was nasty as hell! It tasted like cough syrup. Anyway, the lady said to me, she said, "Ya'll enjoy ya'll meal." Yep, that's right, a Texan actually talked to me. By the way, Piccadilly corn bread is harder than a rock!

So here's a couple of stories about my trip back from Arizoner down to Florider, but here's my TEXAS stories, going the opposite direction than before.

I had to pee. So we go to this 7-11/truck stop-type place where it's like a big 7-11 mixed with a truck stop mixed with a cafe`. The problem - It smelled like cigarettes! EEW! Anyway, I go into the bathroom and, get this, there's only TWO STALLS! There's this one guy in one stall with trucker boots on and one of those jackets with the--Well, don't ask how I know this. Anyway, he's making all these noises and the other stall was taken as well and there were people in lines to get in. So I run around to the other end of the truck-stop place and there's these guys sitting in rows of chairs waiting for the showers to be available. So I run into the other bathroom and it smells like crap in there, so I run back and the other guy is still on the toilet and someone else had occupied the other stall. Then I run outside and get back into the van.

Then we go to Pizza Hut and I go to the bathroom, have my pepperoni pizza, look at the old arcade system, walk out and listen to Led Zeppelin's The BBC Sessions in the van.

Then, last night staying there we went to this BBQ place and it looked like a giant log cabin. Anyway, I think they tried to do something to my Sprite, it just wasn't tasting the way it hsould. So anyway, the smokey, BBQ smell in there hurts my vulnerable, bronchitis-friendly lungs and I eat some ribs and for some reason a couple of pieces of corn was on it. Hmmm...

Oh, and by the way, I left my The Wall Disc 1 CD on pause and it scratched the hell out of it and for a whole year Another Brick in the Wall pt. 2 has been skippy ever since. DAMMIT!

 

Ahhhh...the joys of Texas

 

*cough*CRACK*cough*

huh? what?

 

Lately it occurs to me...what a long, strange trip it's been.

--Chris M.

 

I am sorely disappointed in your story. There was no mention of cows, belt buckles, tumbleweeds, amardillos, oil dereks, cactus, ten gallon hats, or pickup trucks.

Now if you'll excuse me I've gotta go and fry me up some road kill.

 

Ain't nuthin' better in dis 'ere world dan killin' a squirrel in yer pickup truck, fryin' 'er up, and calling yer fifteen kids in fer supper.

 

Hey, it's Mr. Frost's other brother ..... Cletus Frost.

 

Ummmmm.....

Well....


Hmmm, this is interestimg

 

*enters thread*

*reads half of post*

*backs out of thread*

 

*thick Texan accent Get a rope........









........ so we can lasso up some cattle.

 

Glymmer!

 

My Favorite True Texas Road Story:

When we moved from Plano to Denver I had to drive the big rentral truck to Colorado with my brother-in-law. We took I35 north through Oklahoma, into Kansas.

Anyway, when we drove north across the border into Oklahoma there was this nice bilboard type sign welecoming you to Oklahoma and that's it. Looking left across the big grass median we could see a similar sign welcoming visitors to Texas -- but about 200 feet beyond that was this little mini-strip mall that had a convenience store, a liquor store, and an adult bookstore.

My brother-in-law and I just cracked up. All they needed to do was add a gun shop and you'd have your one-stop Texas shopping center.

--Chris M.

 

You forgot Pawn Shop.

 

Can't believe I forgot the pawn shop.

(If that's our strip mall, we should probably add a bail bondsman too ).

--Chris M.

 

I think Shorty just described a typical day at work for me.

 

You know what I really like about them Texas truck stops and places is that it's totally disconnected from the rest of the world. No talk of wars or politicians y'hate. A bunch of obsolete arcade systems, peanuts near the check out counters, antique-ish truck stops with a lot of wood carved objects, a bunch of Stephen King and Louis L'Amour novels, good ol' truck stop food and ice cream, etc.

But let me tell you, there ain't nuttin' creepier than a truck stop, one street town at night. It's creepy in a nice sorta way, but listen up, pal, I wouldn't want to be walkin' alone down that there street at night.

 

I live at a truck stop.

 

So your saying Fort Worth = Stucky's ?

I went to college in Lubbock. It was nothing but a huge cattle ranch. Smelled like that 6 days out of the week.