I may not have the heart left.

Discussion in 'New Jersey' started by Jedi_Satimber, Sep 1, 2003.

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  1. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    Guys and gals,

    I have been going thru a very rough week. Which may have hit its peak yesterday.


    I may not have the heart to go on anymore. I really like you all, and consider you all friends. That is why I am trying to fight thru this.


    But if I fail, I fear that I will be no good to any of you in the Fan Force.

    I do not think that I will be signing on for a few days.
    Not even to check PM's.

    That is all that I can bare to share right now.

    Shawn.
  2. Ghosts_Of_Anakin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2002
    star 6
    Don't worry about it Shawn. You do what you have to do and we'll be here for you if you need us. Good luck.
  3. BellaSabrina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2002
    star 4
    Shawn, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call. I hope it all works out for you.

    *hugs*
  4. DarthGyos Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2001
    star 4
    Shawn,
    If you should happen to get online and get this..call me.



    ~DG~
  5. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    Gary, Mike, Marie...


    thanks for the concern and friendship. :)

    This is hard on me, right now posting as me.

    But I owe you all a try.

    :(
  6. BellaSabrina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2002
    star 4
    Shawn, hope you're doing better.

    Give Gary and I a call, okay??

    *hugs*
  7. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    I am still going thru a roller coaster of emotions...


    It is a little late for that phone call...so later.
  8. stateless Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2002
    star 4
    Shawn, sorry to hear that you're having a tough time. I hope everything works out. :)
  9. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
  10. Padawan915 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2002
    star 6
    Shawn I hope everything works out. You know we're all here for you.
  11. strangebehaviour Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2002
    star 6
    I'm here for you too. I hope you get through whatever you are going through.

    *hug* :)
  12. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    I am so close to resigning my position as co-President of the NJO.


    I am so close to resigning this so called life that I live.

    What's the point?

    Honestly. You think that you are happy. And then it is nothing more than more dung piled onto the already large pile of dung that we live with.


    I am angry. I am sad. I am pissed off.

    What's the point?


    I'm useless in my current state of mind.


    Maybe I'll think differently after the weekend.

    Who knows though?


  13. Calixte Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2002
    star 4
    If you're feeling suicidal Sat, then maybe you should seek professional help. I do believe that perhaps the boards are not the appropriate place?? I can connect you with a counselor if you need someone objective to talk to....

  14. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    Jenni...I am not suicidal.

    I just am not believing in myself right now.

    And I am going thru my mind if I am an asset or a hinderance to the NJO.


  15. Calixte Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2002
    star 4
    Just making sure. Some of what you have posted could appear to be suicidal. Always alert to stuff like that is all...

  16. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    Jenni that is fine.

    But being Catholic...suicide is not an option. :p

    Same goes for my general attitude towards life.
  17. Maleficant Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 5
    Well J_SAt I hope you understand that we over in the KOP chapter will not just sit here and watch you go through this alone.

    I have offered many times to talk to you privately about this situation. When you feel you are ready, please get in touch with me.

    :D
  18. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    Wendy...I know.

    When I am ready...you will know.
  19. DarthGyos Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2001
    star 4
    Shawn,
    It looks bad now, but keep your head up. This is the BEST place for you to be right now; the FF is a pleasant distraction from the everyday b.s.

    Keep it in mind


    ~DG~
  20. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    I am feeling better than I did last week.

    I do not have anything straightened out, not yet at least.

    But I will keep plugging along.
  21. keirabandwagon Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2003
    ok, this forum is no place for whiny, attention-seeking moderators...

    Boo hoo, pity me...boo hoo, I don't think I can go on...waaaah, I many not have the heart left.

    Get it together, dude! You're bringing us all down. It's just a stupid Star Wars fanclub for crying out loud.

    Otherwise, get out of my state. To paraphrase a great, NJ-born philosopher: "You give <our state> a bad name!"

    Stop panhandling for pity, dude. Grow up!

  22. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    Hello whatever your name is /\ and welcome to the NJ Order forums.

    I suggest that you maybe read the whole thing first, and then realize what it might be that I am talking about.


    until you do, I will not expect to read anymore bashing comments from you about me.

    Since only one person in the NJO knows of what is going on, then all other comments should be directed towards a non-bashing flavor.



    And with that...








    I will march on as the co-President. I may not have everything straightened out, but I will not give up on what we started. Not now.


  23. keirabandwagon Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2003
    if only one person knows, then why put it in a public forum? maybe we can help if you explain a little. Please enlighten. I mean no ill will, i'm just trying some "tough love."
  24. Jedi_Satimber Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2002
    star 8
    I have enough help.

    I was really just trying to let everyone know that I was considering from stepping down.

    The reason for the Public Forum was so that everyone could expect it, if it happened.



    Some things are better left unexplained at the beginning of the thought process.
  25. keirabandwagon Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2003


    EDIT: ok, I've read enough.....everyone needs to refrain from bashing or flaming in here. I'm locking this topic.
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