Ok.. here's what's going on. I was talking to a friend of mine about what to do this weekend and she wanted me to go to Umass vs bc hockey game with her. I reluctantly accepted. (why I hesitated is not based on her). But regardless for now. She was telling me how bad they sucked because they can't score at all and last year they went something like 8-32 losing most by one goal. Now quickly I thought hmmmm... what if I played for them... I told her that if they sucked that bad at the game on sunday I will get ready to play for next year. Now here's a little backstory on myself. I started skating when I was 2 years old and I took up hockey full time when I was 5. All I did during the weeks outside of school was practices and games on weekends. I walked onto the my high schools varsity team in 8th grade. They made me play jv for a year for 7th grade then they moved me up to varsity because they saw my performance.. Anyways, I'm not a big kid on the ice 5'9 145lbs playing against giants to me, atleast. Well freshmen year rolled around and I was first line varsity and midway through the season I was hit from behind and suffered a broken c-6 vertebrae, 5.5 months later I recovered and continued playing the same week I was allowed to do so. I played hockey about the same I did before. Then end winter/early spring of my junoir year in HS, I tried out for a team I had played for for the previous 4 years... only this time we got a new coach of whom knew me and we hated each other so naturally politics came into play and I was cut (destroyed to politics #1). Then during that summer b/t junior/senior year I tried out for the same baystate games team I was on the year before (of which we won the whole thing with the odds stacked against us, my line had the most goals I had 6 myself 2 in the championship game). Anyways it comes down to it that I get cut because I do not kiss the coaches ass (I have never done that nor will I) and a kids dad (reputable coach for a prep school) comes in and chats with the coach. Turns out I get cut and this kid brings his 10 friends onto the team. (blow to politics #2) After I found this out I had completely lost it and raced down 290 at about 110 weaving in and out of traffic almost praying to myself I caught a bump and lost control. Or at least get a huge ticket. Like I said... hockey was life getting screwed over didn't sit well with me. Anyways, the next day I decided to quit because of the previous night's action and I had become quite sick of the politics involved. Now 2+ years later after not much in the way of excersize, when I was talking to previously mentioned friend I told her if the team had troubles again I'd get ready by getting in shape running lifting again etc. My problem is this. If 1) I begin training again after decided to go all out on this and I fail and become lazy again I won't be very happy with myself. Or 2) - the worse of the two cases - I go all out get myself back to where I was skill wise and in shape and I get shafted in making the Varsity team here (if I get myself back to where I was I could easily walk onto this team I was one hell of a player), I don't know how I would respond. It would most likely be much worse then the first. But this is where I need your input. What do you think? Should I give it a shot? Let it go to save my own sanity of something goes wrong? As it is I'm most likely going to do it which will utterly change my life in means of not being able to slack like I do now and not as much freetime etc. Anyways sorry for this lengthy post and the seriousness of it but this is what's going on with me and been on my mind quite heavily for the last day or so. Please keep all responses serious - positive or negative I don't care - But just give input. Thanks.