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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends I never meant to lie -- A Kirney Slane Monologue

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by KirneySlane22, Jan 1, 2004.

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  1. KirneySlane22

    KirneySlane22 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2003
    Disclaimer: The wonderful GL and Aaron Allston own these wonderful people. I'm just playing in their playground. :)

    A/N: Kudos goes out to Xaara, who beta'd this for me. I would also like to thank thor, Inyri, Rogue, and everyone else who writes Myn/Kirney stories. Without you all, I would have never thought that others liked my two favorite Wraiths as much as I do.

    Misc. info: This is also posted at fanfiction.net, under the pen name Kristin Ohman.


    I never meant to lie.

    Wait. That is not right. My whole life has been a lie. From an early age I was taught how to lie, when to lie, how to live a lie. My parents would take me with them undercover. I had a different name almost every year starting at the age of seven. I have lived on over a dozen planets in my lifetime. I have lived as a rich, spoiled young lady and as a street rat. I am able to communicate in seven different languages. My parent?s superiors were so impressed with their pet prodigy that they started to me out on my own at age sixteen.

    But that is not living. I know that now. Never being able to trust, never staying in one place for long, never knowing if I?ll get out alive. That is not living, that is simply being. But that was all I knew.

    Things are different now.

    I?m not sure when things changed. When I conned Face and Ton into getting me into Antilles? new squad, I had every intention of betraying them. My doctrine said that unless you were with the Empire, you were the enemy. I had sent out communiqués to Zsinj to find an employer in order to do this.

    I do know that it was when I got to the Wraiths that things started to change. Ton, Kell, and Face made sure that I was welcomed and included. Dia, Tyria, and Shalla each gave me their friendships over time. Piggy was always willing to talk. And Myn? Myn gave me the ability to break down and love again.

    I had meant to turn myself in after my trip to Aldivy. On Aldivy, when Zsinj?s operative gave me the choice of killing Myn and leaving with him and the real Lara?s brother or killing Myn and going back to the hideout with a lie; I choose Myn?s life and going back with him. I chose to follow my heart instead of my head.

    But even then, my head was started to turn the same way as my heart. I no longer cared that I was working for the "enemy". I was my own enemy.

    The time between that trip and when I left the Wraiths was the happiest I had ever been. Between actually having friends and having someone who loved me, I forgot that the past has a way of catching up with a person.

    And sithspawn, if my past didn?t catch up with a bang.

    Face, I know that you didn?t mean to keep the comm open. I have never blamed you for what happened that day. It would have happened eventually.

    Kell, I?m sorry for deceiving you. But I want to let you know that you are one reason why I am what I am now. Thank you for trusting me.

    Myn. I?m sorry for Talon Squadron. I?m sorry for all the hurt and pain I have put you through. I never meant to become your friend and I never understood what you saw in me.

    I?m sorry for all the lies I have told. I was hiding from everyone, including myself. But I never betrayed any of you. I never told anyone anything about the Wraiths.

    My past is full of lies. I have to live with that, even though I am not happy about it. One thing has kept me going through all of this.

    I never meant to lie.
     
  2. _3MD_PsychoSniper

    _3MD_PsychoSniper Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2003
    Nice, although the lurker line in yer sig made me almost not post a reply :p
     
  3. KirneySlane22

    KirneySlane22 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2003
    OMG!! Someone actually replied!! *faints*


    Okay, Yes, I am a lurker, Sniper. Think of me as the wallflower at a party who doesn't really talk to anyone unless they come up to her and start talking to her first.

    But thanks for the reply! *leaves for work in a very happy mood*
     
  4. JainaSticksSolo19

    JainaSticksSolo19 Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2003
    wow. that was really good.
    i always liked Gara/Lara/Kirney and had really hoped her and Myn got back together.
    great job i really liked it.
     
  5. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    That was really wonderful. :) You got across Lara's confusion and regret very simply, but very clearly. :) I liked how you also had her speak to her former wingmates, as well. :) Well done.

    And hopefully, getting feedback will teach you, you horrible lurker, not to lurk! :p
     
  6. rogue11lovesjag

    rogue11lovesjag Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2002
    Very interesting character sketch. I like how Kirney is internalizing her feelings and her life. I would be very interested to see a sequel to this.

    ~Rogue
     
  7. KirneySlane22

    KirneySlane22 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2003
    Well, there is a definate upshot to this site. So far I've gotten more replies than I ususally expect. :)

    JainaSticksSolo19: Thanks!

    oboana: Thanks! And one of my resolutions for this year is to not lurk so much. We'll see if that happens or not. ;)

    rogue11lovesjag: Thanks! Kirney's head is easy for me to get into for some reason, even though its sometimes hard to make sense out of it.
    A sequal? Doubtful. I'm working on a Myn fic right now....we'll see what I come up with after that.

    Kirney
     
  8. JAGSGURL15

    JAGSGURL15 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2003
    AWESOMEW!@#$%^&*()

    MORE MORE MORE
     
  9. Tych_sel

    Tych_sel Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 29, 2001
    Great story, Kirney. This seems to fit with my own ideas about the sort of things Lara, Kirney, whatever you want to call her, might have said in that message that she left for Myn. The one that Wedge looked at, then forwarded on to Myn.

    This was wonderful, really giving us a look into a heart that may not have known itself.

    Force be with you,

    Tych_sel
     
  10. karebear214

    karebear214 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2002
    Wallflowers of the world unite!

    This is great. I'm glad you finally got the courage to join the party. :)
     
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