Saga I R0x0rz! (R2's POV; TPM-AotC 1337fic) English version now available

Note: There is an English translation for this. It's the 10th post of this thread, I think. Cheers.

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[b]7i713:[/b] I R0x0rz!
[b]4u7h0r:[/b] 142yk8y5
[b]7im3phr4m3:[/b] 7PM-407C
[b]Ch4r4c73rz:[/b] R2-D2, C-3PO, 37c.
[b]93nr3:[/b] 1337
[b]K3yw0rz:[/b]
[b]5umm4ry:[/b] R2 741x 480u7 hiz 1337n355 LOL
[b]N073:[/b] In5pir3d 8y [hl=deeppink][color=yellow][u][i]_|4d35010[/i][/u][/color][/hl]'z [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=21273134&start=21275816]p057[/link] in teh "I D4r3 u" Ch4113n93 7hr34d. w00t!

- 142y

[hr]
[b]I R0x0rz![/b]


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7h3n 494in, h3 i5n'7 m3 - R2-D2, 457r0m3ch 3x7r40rdin4ir3. I c4n phix 574rfi9h73r5 in 7h3 midd13 0f 4 d09phi9h7, c41cu1473 hyp3rdriv3 r0u735 in 4 n4n053c0nd, 51ic3 circ135 4r0und 53curi7y pr09r4m5, 4nd un1ik3 901d3nr0d, wh0 c4n 0n1y w41k 1ik3 4 hum4n wi7h 53ri0u5 ch4phin9, I'v3 907 wh3315 4nd 7r34d5 - 4nd I c4n [i]ph1y[/i]. 0h y34h, I 100k 50 un831i3v481y k3w1 in 81u3 4nd whi73.

4nyw4y.

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7h47'5 h0w I m37 7hr33pi0, 8y 7h3 w4y. 4n4kin - 7h3 kid I w45 701d y0u 480u7, r3m3m83r? - invi73d u5 0v3r 70 hi5 h0u53. 7h3n h3 700k P4dm3 70 hi5 r00m 70 5h0w 0ff hi5 dr0id h3 w45 m4kin9.

7hr33pi0 w45n'7 much 70 100k 47. 50m3 0f 7h3 p4r75 100k3d 1ik3 7h3y'd 833n 4r0und 5inc3 pr3-R3pu81ic d4y5. H3 didn'7 h4v3 hi5 p147in9 in p14c3, 3i7h3r, which mi9h7 h4v3 h31p3d if h3 w45 53xi3r. 8u7 - w311, 137 m3 pu7 i7 70 y0u 7hi5 w4y: 83in9 4 8ip3d i5 p3rf3c71y 411 ri9h7 4 4n 0r94nic. 7h3y 3v01v3d 7h47 w4y, 4f73r 411. 8u7 7h3r3'5 r3411y n0 3xcu53 ph0r 4 dr0id, 4 m4nuf4c7ur3d m3ch4nic41, 70 h4v3 4 1355-7h4n-0p7im41 d35i9n.

"H0w d0 y0u d0," 7hr33pi0 54id wh3n 4n4kin 7urn3d him 0n. "I 4m C-3P0, hum4n-cy80r9 r3147i0n5. H0w mi9h7 I 53rv3 y0u?"

"H3'5 p3rf3c7," P4dm3 54id wi7h 4 5mi13. Wh47 c4n I 54y, 7h3 8483 h4d 4 h34r7 0f 9

 

Mine!

lazy, you are officially a god. Of 1337. That was brilliant!

7h053 w3r3 my ph4v0ri73 1in35. Hi14ri05! Y0u 4r3 u83r-c001, d00d!

 

The person who dared you was evil.

I'm horrified that I could actually understand most of this.

 

this is hilarious - Artoo Detoo in l33t!

 

HUH?!?!

 

I gotta agree with Kudzu on this one - it's a sad day when I understood this story.

Nice work, lazy.

 

It's official - I'm old.

*takes vitamin while listening to LP albums on vinyl and talking on rotary-dial corded telephone*



What I understood of that was great, lazy!



*waits for english translation*

*crap - the needle on my record player broke*

 

Ditto.

 

Oh goodness. I don't believe I was able to decipher that. But I'm glad I did - R2 is quite a character! What a fun story!

 

First, I would like to thank - or maybe blame - the find & replace feature. Without it, this fic would have never been attempted.

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[hl=deeppink][color=yellow][u][i]JadeSolo[/i][/u][/color][/hl]: [i]Mine! [/i]

*points accusing finger* That's right, [i]she's[/i] the one responsible for this! Not me! :p

[i]7h053 w3r3 my ph4v0ri73 1in35. Hi14ri05! Y0u 4r3 u83r-c001, d00d! [/i]

Um, pardon? Could you repeat that in English, please? Or type . . . just . . . a little . . . slower . . . ? :D 7h4nx 4 r33din9!

[hr]
[b]Kudzu[/b]: [i]The person who dared you was evil. [/i]

It wasn't a dare. I made a joke about daring someone to write in leet, and then [hl=deeppink][color=yellow][u][i]JadeSolo[/i][/u][/color][/hl] said she'd love to read a leet fic, and then I started laughing a mad, evil villain laugh -

[i]I'm horrified that I could actually understand most of this. [/i]

:O . . . actually, I would start worrying if you started to understand [i]spoken[/i] leet.

[hr]
[b]ladylaurel18[/b]: [i]this is hilarious - Artoo Detoo in l33t! [/i]

I don't know why, but I suddenly got the idea that everything Artoo says in the movies is leetspeak, and . . . [i]this[/i] happened.

[hr]
[b]Ladynaye[/b]: [i]HUH?!?! @-) [/i]

Ah, I see from your emoticon that you are non-1337. Thank goodness for a normal reaction. :D

[hr]
[b]Exeter[/b]: [i]I gotta agree with Kudzu on this one - it's a sad day when I understood this story. [/i]

Come on, surely leet isn't [i]that[/i] bad. (Although if anyone mentions this fic outside this thread, I'm going to deny it ever happened, all right? :| )

[hr]
[b]Jedi Trace[/b]: [i]It's official - I'm old. [/i]

Yup. You gotta be at the emotional age of nine to understand leet. Neener neener neener.

[i]What I understood of that was great, [b]lazy![/b][/i]

Thank you! . . . um, which part is that?

[hr]
[b]Antilles2001[/b]: [i](to [b]Kudzu[/b]'s post) Ditto. [/i]

Ditto what I said to [b]Kudzu[/b]. :)

[hr]
[b]Elana[/b]: [i]I don't believe I was able to decipher that. But I'm glad I did - R2 is quite a character![/i]

We know from the movies that Artoo has a bit of an attitude. And it fit in so well with the leet mentality (or so I thought, anyway).

[hr]
To everyone who actually read this monstrous piece, [b]thank you for reading[/b] and [b]forgive me, please![/b] I didn't mean to make your eyes and brains hurt, honest!

- lazy


PS - oh yeah, I need to post the English version . . .

 

Aaaand here's the English "translation". *runs and hides*

- lazy

Title:I I R0x0rz!
Author: lazykbys
Timeframe: TPM-AotC
Characters: R2-D2, C-3PO, etc.
Genre: humor
Keywords:
Summary: Artoo talks about his 1337ness
Notes:Inspired by JadeSolo's post in the "I Dare You" Challenge thread. w00t!

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[b]I R0x0rz![/b]


I knew, from the moment I first heard his prissy voice, that Threepio was a complete loser. I mean . . . he's a protocol droid! And the thing about those translator droids is that, no matter how many languages they have in their memory banks, they know [i]nothing[/i]. Not. A. Thing.

I suppose I should cut Threepio a little slack, though. I mean, he [i]was[/i] scrapped together from scrounged parts by a nine-year-old. And then they abandoned him for ten years on Tatooine with only farmers for company. I don't see how he managed to stay functional that long. I know [i]I[/i] would have smuggled myself off that sandbox before the suns set.

Then again, he isn't me - R2-D2, astromech extraordinaire. I can fix starfighters in the middle of a dogfight, calculate hyperdrive routes in a nanosecond, slice circles around security programs, and unlike Goldenrod, who can only walk like a human with serious chafing, I've got wheels and treads - and I can [i]fly[/i]. Oh yeah, I also look so unbelievably cool in blue and white.

Anyway.

The first time I saw Threepio was a while before the Battle of Naboo. In which [i]I[/i] was instrumental in bringing down that droid control ship, by the way. The kid Anakin might have been at the controls, but he had no idea what he was doing. He was just pushing buttons that "looked right", for crying out loud! I tell you, he was worse than a clueless noob. But I made sure he didn't get vaped. [i]And[/i] I turned him into a hero, too.

But this isn't his story. It's mine. Sorry about the digression, but you get these little footnotes in awesome stories like that of yours truly. Besides, a little historical knowledge can't hurt. And believe me, I made [i]lots[/i] of history.

For example, I'm the one who stayed at his post to keep the Naboo Queen's ship from falling apart. Not the Battle of Naboo. This is a different battle. There were laser bolts as thick as buzz beetles, and my buddies were being shot off one by one. I wasn't scared, though. I was an astromech and I had a job to do. And I did it pretty darn well, if I say so myself. The only thing I did wrong was not making sure everyone else did a competent job. That's why the hyperdrive generator died out on us.

But I couldn't be everywhere at once, you know? I was getting a full-body hand-rub by Padmé. She's cute for an organic. And her fingers could reach all those hard-to-get places. I was surprised when I found out she was actually the Queen, but not as much as the others. I knew that she had to be special with fingers like that. So when she and a couple other guys went to Mos Espa for the parts, I went with them to guard her back.

That's how I met Threepio, by the way. Anakin - the kid I told you about, remember? - invited us over to his house. Then he took Padmé to his room to show off his droid he was making.

Threepio wasn't much to look at. Some of the parts looked like they'd been around since pre-Republic days. He didn't have his plating in place, either, which might have helped if he was sexier. But - well, let me put it to you this way: being a biped is perfectly all right for an organic. They evolved that way, after all. But there's really no excuse for a droid, a manufactured mechanical, to have a less-than-optimal design.

"How do you do," Threepio said when Anakin turned him on. "I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. How might I serve you?"

"He's perfect," Padmé said with a smile. What can I say, the babe had a heart of gold.

Anakin continued to blabber, "When the storm is over,

 

OK, Now that I can understand this

Brillaint, and very true to how I would see R2

 

This was adorable. Good thing you translated and also said in your first post that it was or I would have missed it.

Great job with the R2 perspective and it fit right in with the movies!

Bravo

 

Both that you did it in 1337 and the story itself are very funny. R2's attitude is great. I'm impressed with myself that I actually understood most of it without having to scroll down.

 

First, on Artoo's depiction in this fic -

DarthBreezy: very true to how I would see R2

dianethx: Great job with the R2 perspective and it fit right in with the movies!

Lovely-in-Orange: R2's attitude is great.

Actually, I was worried he was too OOC. I was going to rationalize it by saying this is meant to be a humorous piece. *scratches head in bewilderment*

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[b]DarthBreezy[/b]: [i]OK, Now that I can [/i]understand this :^O

You [i]can[/i]? :O What did I do wro . . . hold on, I posted the English version, didn't I. :p

[hr]
[b]dianethx[/b]: [i]Good thing you translated and also said in your first post that it was or I would have missed it. [/i]

That was [hl=deeppink][color=yellow][u][i]JadeSolo[/i][/u][/color][/hl]'s idea. :)

[hr]
[b]Lovely-in-Orange[/b]: [i]Both that you did it in 1337 and the story itself are very funny.[/i]

*takes a bow*

[i]I'm impressed with myself that I actually understood most of it without having to scroll down. [/i]

You [i]did[/i]? Um . . . wow. :-oo

[hr]
Thank you for reading, everyone - and thank you even more for not replying in pure 1337. I had nightmares about [i]that[/i] happening. :D

- lazy

 

Wow, lazy! Jade challenged you for this one? It's pure evil!

Hehehehe.

I couldn't understand most of it the first time through, thanks for the english version! Hehehe! It was great!

 

Jade challenged you for this one?

Actually, she only said she'd love to read a 1337 fic. (BTW, this is how I pick up roughly half of my plot bunnies.)

Hehehe! It was great!

Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading!

- lazy

 

I found this in another thread in fanfic resource...I couldn't believe how much I understood this and I'm not even that familiar with leet speak!

I can so imagine that this would be how R2 would 'talk', it seems to fit him as a droid that doesn't really speak basic, that all those beeps and whistles and clicks and such mean something! Good job!

 

LOL 7h47 wuz h1l4r10us!!1!!!!1!

Sorry, just had to do that. Anyway...

That really was hilarious! I read the l337 version first and sadly enough, understood most of it. I also gained a new appreciation for the English language.

Just where did he think little droids came from? Maybe he thought a speeder bike delivered them. I wanted to take him aside and explain to him, in great detail, the facts of droid production.

I loved that part.

Excellent work! You r0x0rz, lazy!