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I See You (JA Story)--Finally Updated! (8.23.01)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Sat'zi, Oct 31, 2000.

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  1. Sat'zi

    Sat'zi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2000
    Oh man, oh man, oh man.....
    I once said that I couldn't write worth anything but this plot bunny has been driving me crazy so I'm gonna try my hand at writing one. Everyone here seems very kind and I'm sure if it's really bad I'll be told constructively.
    I'm still working on the first post but I'm creating the thread so it'll force me to post something rather than chicken out as I have several times.
     
  2. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    I look forward to it!
     
  3. Darth McClain

    Darth McClain Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2000
    I'll read it!!!
     
  4. Healer Apprentice Lina

    Healer Apprentice Lina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2000
    UP!
    Sat'zi, do NOT lose your nerve! Post! You can do it!
     
  5. Sat'zi

    Sat'zi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2000
    Ummm....give me a bit longer. I'm still working with it.
     
  6. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    HA!! I knew you would cave!!! We all do. I once vowed I could NEVER write fanfiction. I actually said I would never be able to do it. *L*
    I have faith in you Sat'zi!! Can't wait to read it.
     
  7. Sat'zi

    Sat'zi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2000
    Okay, I'll at least do this:

    Title: I See You
    Time: JA Universe
    Summary: While Obi-Wan struggles to re-integrate himself as Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan after his decisions on Bandomeer, the two are sent on a mission that may open Qui-Gon's eyes but a little too late.

    Characters:
    Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Qui-Gon Jinn
    Ven Gamm, a researcher on the planet that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are called to.
    Zalia Gamm, his daughter.
     
  8. KADI-WAN_KENOBI

    KADI-WAN_KENOBI Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2000
    Sounds good to me.

    Please start it soon!
     
  9. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    You read my stories, now I'm willing to read yours. Bring it on!
     
  10. Sat'zi

    Sat'zi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2000
    Okay, so I chickened out with the entire post. Here's a half of it. I'll try and work on the rest later.
    I'm already off to a lousy start. I meant Melida/Daan, not Bandomeer! *smack, smack, smack myself on head*
    It's kind of AU. The Captive Temple never happened and Obi-Wan just got re-instated as Qui-Gon's padawan.
    _______________________________

    Part One:

    "Try it again" came the stoic voice.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi bit back a frustrated sigh as he re-ignited his lightsaber and took on the first form for his kata. He concentrated, allowing the Force to flow through him as he performed the series of jumps, hearing the rhythmical hum of his lightsaber as it sliced through the air. The series of motions ended in a graceful back flip as he simultaneously shut off his weapon.

    "Again."

    Obi-Wan looked up almost unbelievingly at the dark blue eyes. They showed his Master was not kidding.

    "Again? I already did that kata three times." He tried to keep any whining out of his voice. But Force! He had done it THREE times already! What was wrong with the first three?

    The tall Jedi Master regarded his student. "I am aware of how many times you have done that kata, Obi-Wan. And you will continue to do it until you get it right. The execution of your third block is still inaccurate as well as your initial attack."

    The criticism was listed almost flippantly and for some reason hit the student harder had Qui-Gon shown a bit more forcefulness behind his reprimand.

    "Maybe...maybe could you talk me through it?" requested the student. It was a hidden plea. He just wanted some kind of communication to go through their bond like before. Before Melida/Daan. It had been months since Obi-Wan had returned to the Temple after the war was over. And in all those months, their bond had remained silent. Qui-Gon spoke to him when necessary but the bond always remained cold. Shielded. Forgotten.

    "Take your initial stance" Qui-Gon began without hesitation. Obi-Wan stood for a fraction of a second, trying not to show the disappointment in his instructions being verbalized. How he missed hearing his Master through their bond.

    //Be grateful. Be glad he took you back at all//he told himself as he re-ignited the blue blade.
     
  11. Healer Apprentice Lina

    Healer Apprentice Lina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2000
    Yay! You posted! Finally! *sheesh* (just kidding)

    That was a fine post. Don't worry so much. I liked the tense exchange btwn. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Poor kid, looks like he's headed for a cold front.

    Don't worry about making the Bandomeer-Melida/Daan error. I did that too once. I don't know what it is, those two just seem so similar to me.

    I hope more is coming soon, Sat'zi. Like that second part for instance.
     
  12. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    That was wonderful Sat'zi! I really look forward to more.
     
  13. Healer Apprentice Lina

    Healer Apprentice Lina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2000
    For the Master Upper of threads.....
    UP!
     
  14. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    Wonderful start Sat'zi, for some reason I can't explain I like the stories where Qui-Gon is being kind of cold and Obi is feeling hurt and depressed about it. Maybe because I know in the end they usually end up together!

    Look forward to seeing more!
     
  15. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Good start. I'm looking forward to more. I have to admit, I like those stories too, where Qui-Gon is cold at the beginning and then thaws out towards the end.
     
  16. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2000
    Wonderful start. Like many others I too love young Obi-Wan stories where he and Qui-Gon are still working things out. Please please continue.
     
  17. Kaylla Norn

    Kaylla Norn Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2000
    Hmmm promising this is, looking forward to much more soon I am... and soon it will be, I hope....

    ;~D
     
  18. Latara

    Latara Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2000
    okay, i'm jumping on the bandwagon too! I love stories where they start off on a rocky relationship. Great start!
    Post more soon. :)
     
  19. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Nothing over the bond??? I already feel bad for Obi.

    Good start Sat'zi!!!

    Post often. post soon.
     
  20. Sat'zi

    Sat'zi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 6, 2000
    Here's the next part
    ________________________________

    Part Two:

    "Progress report you have?" questioned Yoda.

    Mace Windu gave a tense nod as his meeting with the green Master fell upon the newly returned Obi-Wan Kenobi and his old friend, Qui-Gon.

    "I've observed their progress...if you can call it that" replied Mace.

    "Many things my old padawan has yet to accept."

    "It is affecting his training of the boy."

    "Talented young Kenobi is."

    "But without a proper teacher his talent will be useless to him" said the Council member.

    The old Jedi Master thought silently for a few minutes before replying. "A mission for them we have."

    "A mission?" Mace frowned. "It might be better for them to try and fix their trust here at the Temple."

    The green Master shook his head. "Cannot fix what was never there." The dark-skinned Jedi didn't have a response to that. He knew it was true. Even before the whole incident on Melida/Daan, he knew his old friend had never given himself completely over into traning Padawan Kenobi. From the very start it had been awkward, made only a thousand times worse by their last mission.

    "Simple mission it is. To oversee the progress on Mesoen" stated Yoda.

    "The environmental science rescue?"

    Mesoen was a small secluded planet tucked away in a small corner of the galaxy. For months now their planet had been raged with pollution storms ever few weeks that poisoned the air. There had been several deaths and shelters and raids had had to be enforced. The leaders of Mesoen had no choice but to ask for help from neighboring planets. While they had scientists of their own working on the problem of trying to cease the storms, they needed from the outside.

    "Simple it is" repeated Yoda. "Good for them it will be."

    Mace relented that it would be good for them. Though he doubted it would be simple. Things hardly were when it came to Qui-Gon Jinn.
     
  21. Master_Tahl

    Master_Tahl Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2000
    Wow! Great story Sat'zi. I loved that last line. LOL! Post soon!
     
  22. Healer Apprentice Lina

    Healer Apprentice Lina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2000
    Great post Sat'zi!
    The last line made me chuckle as well.
    Please keep going!
     
  23. Adi-Ser Lence

    Adi-Ser Lence Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2000
    So far so good! and we all know that this mission won't be simple. funny how mace sees that already. hehe:) please post more soon!!
    Adi-Ser
     
  24. imzadi

    imzadi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Just joined in. More please!

    Imzadi
     
  25. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Yeah, I love that last line, too! Wise old Mace! A mission, huh? Why do I have the feeling that things are going to get worse before they get better? Keep writing, Sat'zi!
     
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