JCC I think we should make a publically viewable unban request forum.

Seriously, why not? Regular users don't have to be allowed to reply, just view.

What are the reasons we can't do this? I want to know.

It'll be a lot more interesting than the cycle of brand new political thread with Trump undertones, far-right troll of the day, something new in the SW thread, Ender takes a warm dump on Merica, and repeat.

The mob wants public executions, dammit! Sate the bloodthirst!

 

I'm in. Let's start by banning Coruscant.

 

Yes. Ban him.

 

I'm surprised you want to see me banned, it'll just free up time to staple your ass to your ears in Hearthstone, @Unnecessary Tag.

Also, I've personally always wanted to see the whimpering simp Diggy turns into in his unban requests. Mods, make it so.

 

I just wanna see what your unban request would look like, @TheEntirePlanetIsOneBigCity.

 

It would be the biggest, kindest, conciliatoriest, and most diplomaticast ban request. The best of the best. Believe me, @lolatCanadia

 

I think the last time I got banned I demanded the mod step down due to incompetence, a campaign I continued once unbanned. It's actually much harder to get banned these days.

 

Personally I've always thought we should round up problem users and have them fight to the death to get unbanned. I call it the Amok Time approach.

 

You see, Diggy, that is why we need publically viewable unban requests. Two individuals, dead-set against each other, making their case for why the other is wrong. When nothing personal is at stake, any old moron on a forum can usually be reliably depended upon to spot the less skilled bull****ter.

Ramza, don't be silly. We don't want to kill users. That would bring law enforcement down on the forums like Ender on the first morning whiff of Americentrism, and would mean the end of the JC as we know it. So let's just settle for permabans. They're more terrifying, anyway.

 

Oh Cor, you aren't that old.

 

Why is my hair raining, then?

 

There's one. It's called "the Facebook group."

 

But I don't wanna go on Facebook!

 

I miss being able to read unban requests. My favorite one went to rhonderoo when she was head admin. The poster had many charming things to say, including, "I'm going to get your membership revoked, boy!"

Because apparently Roo is a boy and membership-revoking is a thing.

 

That's your problem. You asked for something that exists already!

 

I don't want to have to dredge through a swamp to view my swamp, dammit!

 

Well, you've never been an admin.

 

I strongly suspect that the site's ban function is irrevocably broken and the mods are just pretending they still have some kind of authority.

Sure, occasionally Ender gets 'banned' but he's an ex-mod. It's all part of the subterfuge. He just spends a couple of days with Schwartz & Ramza smoking cigars and drinking cognac from giant balloon glasses in an oak-panelled room somewhere.

 

How quickly you forget the four hours in 2008 when I was the Accidental Admin. Not enough time to do anything, but enough time to realize some klutz promoted me and find out everything. Yes, I know about the Mod-That-Was-Never-There Crisis of '05.

 

We don't talk about nashira.

 

You should've read my unban requests. Best work of my life. It's all been downhill since. I'm pretty much just waiting to die, if I'm honest. My work here is done, sort of thing.

 

Oh, but clearly you did!

Couldn't you publish them? I think the world needs a brand new philosophical manifesto. Marxism, liberal capitalism, it's all getting so old...

 

What Mod that was never there?

 

Juliet, there was a "user" named The Good Doctor, who reg'd in 1999, whom most of MS thought was a member of their staff. He gave input on decisions made by MS, he went black like everyone else during Wisegate, so on and so forth, except in '05, MS realized that he was no longer a mod (he might've been a manager, not sure). They can still see the log of all his actions, they think, except they're all anonymous. We don't even see his posts anymore. He's gone, just gone. It's like he never even registered. He may have deleted, or had someone else delete, his account, and possibly all his posts, too. Now MS has a Stan and Jan Berenstain situation on their hands. It doesn't help that TGD was basically a ghost of a mod before all this happened, so everyone basically forgot about him before noticing he disappeared.

What makes all of this unsettling, much much more, is that a member of staff visited his address, as helpfully provided by Phil, where he was no longer living, but a simple law enforcement check revealed that a suspected hit-man used to live there.

Glad to fill you in.

 

Did anyone see a little blue box?