Before I Want it Back - Dark Qui-Gon vignette - Xanatos

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Apr 22, 2006.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: I Want It Back
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Xanatos
    Summary: Sometimes old debts come due.
    Notes: Written for the Dark Qui challenge! I've dragged this out of cold storage :p and revamped it a bit.
    Is it wrong to admit that I love writing evil Qui?



    I Want It Back


    The room was quiet and dark and the man sleeping on the bed remained unaware that some unknown menace stalked him. Danger had, in fact, entered his chamber and stood beside his bed watching him sleep for the last time.

    A shuddering sigh came from the tall figure by the bed, a sigh that spoke of longing and regret, but most of all, it resonated with the fulfillment that would soon be his. The sleeping man mumbled in his sleep, perhaps some primitive intuition coming to life as forgotten instincts sensed his imminent peril. He shifted uneasily on the bed, trying to rouse and listen to his instincts.

    But the civilized voice must have drowned out the ancient one, and he fell into slumber once more. It was a fatal choice.

    Qui-Gon smiled, studying the scar on the pale cheek. It was the only imperfection on Xanatos? face, and it served merely to enhance his good looks. None of that would matter soon, though. Xanatos would have no need of that pretty face where he was going.

    He remembered the day that scar had been burned into Xanatos? ivory flesh. He remembered Xan?s voice as he screamed out his hatred for the Jedi in general and Qui-Gon Jinn in particular. And those screams had caused something inside the Jedi Knight to twist and warp, until finally that unnamable thing snapped. Something inside that was good and noble had cracked and nothing he had done since that day had repaired it.

    It had disappeared, bit by bit, day by day, until nothing was left but the shell of Qui-Gon. The man, the Jedi who had existed before that day faded away into nothingness and no one even noticed. He had suffered from the knowledge alone, with no one to turn to or to share his burden. Now that burden had become to terrible to bear and he would rid himself of it once and for all.

    A seed had been planted inside of him that day, and it was now ready to bear its deadly fruit. It had devoured him and brought into existence instead this monstrous thing that stood by Xan?s bed.

    Qui-Gon had lost what he once was, what he had felt, everything he had believed in, and for which he had been willing to die.

    Xan had done this to him.

    It was time to pay old debts.

    Qui-Gon leaned down and whispered in Xanatos? ear, just as he had done so many times to wake him up when he was a boy.

    ?It is time to face the day, Xanatos,? he murmured. They were the old words; the ones that had started so many days when both of them had been different people.

    For a moment, the younger man did not grasp the situation. He too, was transported back to days long gone and it seemed perfectly natural to hear the voice of his Master in his ear, calling him to yet another day. Xanatos stretched and yawned, and Qui-Gon would not have been surprised to hear him ask for five more minutes to sleep. Soon he?ll have all the sleep he wants, Qui-Gon thought with a grim smile.

    But then he came fully awake and sat up, his eyes wide with disbelief and perhaps a touch of? fear?

    Qui-Gon smiled tenderly and brushed back the inky black hair that was always so much softer to the touch than one expected. His touch was gentle, loving.

    ?Surprised, Xannie?? He asked, reverting back to the affectionate nickname of long ago when they had both been something better than they were now.

    ?What??? Xan actually sputtered, which caused Qui-Gon to chuckle at his former Padawan?s discomfiture. ?What are you doing here??

    Qui-Gon shrugged and threw the younger man a robe. ?I?m here to visit an old friend,? he said with a slight smile. ?Is that so wrong?? Something in Qui-Gon?s eyes shifted but then the gaze was the same tolerant, somewhat amused blue of before.

    ?How did you find me?? Xan said as he stood up and pulled the robe on ov
  2. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    That was as evilly marvelous as it was the first time, Vadey. :eek: And yet, it was so believable too - just the sort of thing a despairing Master, caught in darkness, might do. So, so good.
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    NOOOOOO, Qui-Gon's not evil. He's just misunderstood. [face_laugh]

    I loved it the second time as well as the first. Unfortunately, Qui-Gon seems plausibly evil. Scary that! You should write more evil Qui.

    Poor Xan. Great job.
  4. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    How calm Qui-Gon was about it all very much creeped me out.
  5. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Wow MamaVader that was so chilling! Very well done!
  6. Healer_Leona Scattegories Host. Manager Emeritus

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Is it wrong to admit that I love writing evil Qui?


    NOt at all. If loving Qui is wrong, I don't want to be right. :p

    Love how chilling Qui-Gon's thoughts are, how calm he is in killing in cold blood.
  7. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Puzzlement clouded Xan?s bright blue gaze and he stared up at Qui-Gon. ?I didn?t take anything from you.?

    ?Oh, but you did,? Qui-Gon insisted, his thumb brushing the scar on Xan?s cheek. ?You took my soul??


    Yeah, soulless Qui-Gon is definitely evil, and the one guy in the galaxy who could make you feel sorry for Xanatos. With no heart, Qui-Gon is the definition of evil. I missed it the first time around, so it was well worth the re-post. Good work....though I still like the nice, soulful Qui-Gon better.:)
  8. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
  9. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Whoa - that was intense!

    Poor Xanatos! He payed the ultimate price for underestimating Qui-Gon.

    Very nice job

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  10. Lilith Demodae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 1999
    star 4
    You killed Xan!


    Do it again! [face_devil]



    Creepy, chilling, and totally plausible. I love it!
  11. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    The Master strikes again! Hey - I just realized that has a double meaning.

    Evilllllllllll. Shivers.
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