Before I Want it Back - Qui-Gon/ Xanatos AU vignette - Evil Qui

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Mar 22, 2007.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: I Want it Back
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Xanatos
    Summary: Sometimes old debts come due.
    Notes: Written for the Dark Qui challenge [face_devil] a while back and now re-edited and tweaked. :p



    I Want it Back


    The room was quiet and dark. The man sleeping on the bed remained blissfully unaware that danger stalked him. Danger had, in fact, entered his chamber and stood beside his bed watching him sleep for the last time. He slumbered on, unknowing and oblivious.

    A shuddering sigh came from the tall figure by the bed, a sound that spoke of longing and regret, but most of all it sang of the satisfaction that would soon be his. The sleeping man mumbled in his sleep, perhaps some primitive intuition stirring to life as some long-buried, forgotten instinct sensed his imminent peril.

    But the civilized voice must have drowned out the ancient one, and he fell into slumber once more.

    Qui-Gon smiled, studying the scar on the pale cheek.

    He remembered vividly the day that scar had burned into Xanatos? ivory flesh. He remembered Xan?s voice as he screamed out his rage, his hatred for the Jedi in general and Qui-Gon Jinn in particular. And those screams had caused something inside the Jedi to twist, to warp and give way. Something inside that was good and noble had cracked with the pressure of those words and nothing he had done since that day had repaired it.

    The man he had been disappeared, bit by bit, day by day, until nothing was left but the shell of Qui-Gon. His soul, the Jedi who had existed before that day faded away into nothingness and no one even noticed.

    A seed had been planted inside of him that day, and it was now ready to bear its dark and deadly fruit. It had devoured him and brought into existence instead this monstrous thing that stood by Xan?s bed.

    Qui-Gon had lost what he once was, what he had felt, everything he had held dear.

    And Xan had been responsible.

    It was time to pay old debts.

    Qui-Gon leaned down and whispered in Xan?s ear, just as he had done so many times to wake him up when he was a boy. This would be a wakening in a sense, he mused with dark amusement.

    ?It is time to face the day, Xanatos,? he murmured. And time to face the consequences.

    For a moment, the younger man did not grasp the situation. He too, was transported back to days long gone and it seemed perfectly natural to hear the voice of his Master in his ear, calling him to yet another day. Qui-Gon could see the haze of confusion that clouded those blue eyes.

    Then Qui-Gon saw the precise moment when Xan realized that something was wrong, terribly wrong. He came fully awake and sat up, his eyes wide with disbelief and perhaps a touch of? fear?

    Qui-Gon smiled almost tenderly and brushed back the inky black hair that was always so much softer to the touch than one expected. His fear was sweet, tainting the Force with crimson and black striations. Lovely?

    ?Surprised, Xannie?? He asked, reverting back to the affectionate nickname of long ago when they had both been something better than they were now. He could almost remember what being that man had felt like. He wondered if Xan remembered, too. Qui-Gon hoped so, it would make the culmination so much sweeter.

    ?What?? Xan actually sputtered, which caused Qui-Gon to chuckle at his former Padawan?s discomfiture. ?What are you doing here??

    Qui-Gon shrugged and threw the younger man a robe. ?I?m here to visit an old friend,? he said with a slight smile. ?Is that so wrong?? Something of his purpose must have been revealed in his eyes, but then he concealed his rage behind bland amusement, throwing Xanatos off the scent.

    ?How did you find me?? Xan said as he stood up and pulled the robe on over his shoulders. His movements were jerky and flustered as he tied the robe. His agitation made something dark inside Qui-Gon chuckle. It felt good to move Xanatos from his usual composure. Now who has the upper hand, my boy?

    Qui-Gon laughed out loud then and shook his head. ?Xan, my boy, re
  2. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
  3. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    I'm in shock. You killed him. :_| Bad Qui!:mad:
  4. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Wow!!

    Totally marvelous work!

    Breathtaking! [face_mischief]

    My jaw was hanging open! :D

    Well done!
  5. BrentusofGath Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2005
    star 4
    Yeah, Qui-Gon, that's the way to get it back. :rolleyes:

    :p Still, gotta love his determination. [face_devil]

    Great vig, Vader! I enjoy seeing the heroes grow dark and cold and bitter and vengeful. [face_devil] And you do his evil, justice. ;)
  6. General_Kenobi_66 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2006
    star 3
    ?I just want it back, Xan,? Qui-Gon whispered as he leaned down to place a tender kiss on the dying man?s cheek. ?That?s all.?

    Shocking, chilling, sad, but as brilliant as ever:eek: [face_worried] :_|=D=


    There was only Qui-Gon, standing there with a slight smile on his face and his hand extended toward Xanatos. A hand that had once been wrapped around a saber hilt in defense of the weak and the righteous ?Xan had stolen that from him, too. He only wanted it back. That was all. That was fair.


    Waaaah!:_| :_|

    But, this was incredible. Great job, as always.=D=

    (Now, had you turned or killed Obi, I would be angry.)[face_skull] :p
  7. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    Oh my...That left me speechless for a few moments. Terribly wicked, great threading of emotion and madness in there. Loved your dark Qui, and my poor baby Xani.
  8. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    That was very evil. Evil, evil Qui-Gon is all empty and sinister and....well evil. But nicely executed. [face_mischief] And Xan, too. Executed I mean. Hmmmmm, killing Xan....I've never tried that before....[face_thinking]
  9. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    :eek: :eek: :eek:

    How chilling to think Qui-Gon was sliding into evil and noone noticed.

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  10. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Yeah tweaked into being only more chilling.
  11. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    What an awesome way for Xanatos to die!:eek:

    I always knew Qui-Gon had the devil in him.[face_skull]

    Xanatos finally got what he deserved,:p but alas Qui-Gon is lost forever, for he can never return to what he once was.

    It has been destroyed with one squeeze of
    his hands.o_O

    Love it.=D=
  12. Alexis_Wingstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    Wow, I've read all the responses, and my skin is still crawling. That was chilling, creepy, and extremely well done! =D=
  13. padawan3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 1999
    star 4
    Now that's closure. I appreciated the twist; it's always good see a Qui-Gon darker than Xanatos once in a while. You can see the difference between shallow and selfish darkness in Xanatos, something not necessarily evil but definitely not compliant with Jedi teachings, and the corrosive and infective hatred within Jinn. I enjoyed the story immensely.
  14. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    obi_ew I'm evil that way. [face_devil]

    Master_Noi He's just misunderstood! :p

    Layren It's fun writing a piece like that. [face_mischief]

    BrentusofGath Evil is fun. ;)

    General_Kenobi_66 We all have our breaking points. :D

    Neon Star Dark Qui is adorable. [face_love]

    ardavenport Try it. You'll like it. :cool:

    KELIA And now they're going to pay for their inattention! :p

    Healer_Leona Thank you! [:D]

    Gkilkenny Maybe it was a hug gone bad? [face_thinking]

    Alexis_Wingstar I like creepy! [face_skull]

    padawan3 Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! :)




  15. brodiew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2005
    star 5
    Wow, Kim. Qui-Gon is deliciously deceived and deluded in this well written vig.

    ?I just want it back, Xan,? Qui-Gon whispered as he leaned down to place a tender kiss on the dying man?s cheek. ?That?s all.?

    He's also really CREEPY! :)
  16. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    but did he GET it back??
  17. Ara-gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    Wow. I know that's un-original, but--wow. You packed so much into something so short, especially great description.

    You should do more evil Qui!

    He could almost remember what being that man had felt like. Most poignant line in the whole story.

  18. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    brodiew Creepy is fun. [face_devil]

    ratna Probably not. But that might lead him to "hunt" for it again. :p

    Ara-gon Evil Qui-Gon was shockingly...enjoyable. [face_mischief]
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