i want to be scottish

Dear Jim'll Fix It

I want to be scottish and english at the same time.

Please could I visit your T.V. show and be made scottish, as this is my lifetime dream and you always say on your show that you can fix anything.

Yours i-wanna-be-scottish-ingly

Garrett Endi

P.S. Please?

 

Well young man. This will have to be put before the council and you will have to pass the initiation tests.

 

bring it on!

i can take anything the scottish throw at me in my quest to be scottish*

so just bring on the tests!

*and english

 

we'll start with the basics....

go find yourself a chip shop that sells haggis suppers and irn-bru...

buy one sample of each and consume.....

 

couldnt i be a scotsman who's allergic to haggis?

 

oh well, its better than the english blood pudding.

//eats haggis

//sips irn-bru

EDIT: what now?

 

lol thats so easy (for me that would be as I am closer to Edinbrugh than London )

make the test harder for him!

 

Patience LV - watch and see

There's a Scottish meet soon Garrett - are you coming along?

 

i live in brighton and im only 16 so i cant.

please dont make that part of the test.

apart from that, im prepared for anything

//rips off tight shirt

//flexes muscles

throw at me all that you can

 

**throws custard pie at Garrett**

 

*throws garrettendi a kaber and smiles* Ok run, through that thing, and make sure it turns over 3 times

*snickers with Cass, Gav, Paddy, and DD as garrettendi takes off running*

 

ha ha! you think thats difficult. i train in long distance running every day!

//runs through the thing

//turns the other thing over three times

there. what next.

oh and thanks for the custard pie LV. there's good eating on one of them things.

 

16 and you're discussing your love life on the Web - ye gods, what is the world coming to?

 

im mature beyond my years

now what next?

 

can we stop it for an hour or so. i have do my running training.

im doing five miles, so im going to log off and i'll see you after my training.

 

Mature beyond your years?

You act like a 17 year old?

 

im mature beyond my years

In who's opinion?

 

I tend to find people who think that about themselves aren't really, no offence.

 

i dont really believe it anyway, but you should see how immature most men my age are compared to me, then you'll see what i mean.

 

Garrett, umm, I hope you're strong too, cause a kaber is generally about 10+ feet tall over here, maybe more. I don't know if that's a standard size (and sorry i don't know what it is in meters or whatnot) Run all ya like, but no runner I've ever seen could pick up one of those things

 

then prepare to be amazed as i -

//tries to pick up caber

- argh!

//drops caber

arrrrrrrrrrrgh!

 

At 16 your not a man, your still a boy.

 

So your theory is that a difference of 4 years creates a drastic difference in the emotional or intellectual maturity of a person?

 

// pops in and see immature questioning and pops out.

Hi LV, Garrett!

 

Good morning Padawan. What is my next test to become an honourary Scotsman?