Saga I Want to Break Free (OC Jedi monologue post-RotS)

Title: I Want to Break Free
Author: lindemacil
Timeframe: 2 years after RotS
Characters: OC Jedi
Genre: vignette, monologue
Summary: A Jedi records a final message in her journals.
Notes: I?m not sure that this actually fits the Fanfiction Independence Day Challenge, but it?s what inspired me to write this in the first place. This is my first posted fic, and I find it amusing that it?s not what I would consider my typical style. I hardly ever write monologues, but that?s what this piece wanted to be. Now that I know where her story ends, I?ve begun to wonder where it begins.



[Begin Entry]


I have no way of knowing if anyone will ever hear this message. I?m not sure it matters. It will be my last act as a Jedi.

All my life, I have never feared living.

?Our birth is nothing but our death begun.? The first lesson my Master taught me. I don?t believe he came up with the proverb himself ? he never did have the wherewithal to come up with deep insights in a short amount of time. As much as I cared for my Master, he set a deliberate pace, one that was often too slow for my get-up-and-go urges. If anything in this universe ever taught me patience, dealing with and waiting for my Master are probably the best candidates.

But I digress.

In never fearing living, I have never feared death.

Even now. Even when I am only a few minutes from death.

I am not afraid, because I will be free. Free of this universe, free of this pain, free of this running and hiding, free of these lies I have been living for the past two years.

I was a Jedi.

No. I am a Jedi. That will never change.

Before she died, my padawan once asked me if it was a blessing or a curse to be born in the time of the Chosen One. I told her that it was a blessing. That the balance of the Force would bring stability back to the Galaxy of Peace. That Anakin Skywalker would banish the darkness for once and for all.

Brya accepted this; I did not. I could not believe in blessings or in curses.

Now, with a detonator in my hand, I am unsure. Some Jedi spoke of the will of the Force ? even now, I hear Master Jinn?s sonorous orations on what must have been his favorite subject. We younglings believed him, always and forever. We had no reason not to.

I had always believed that the will of the Force included Skywalker?s success. Could even Qui-Gon Jinn believe that the Empire is the will of the Force?

Is it the will of the Force that I am tucked into this service shaft preparing to detonate the bombs that my rebel associates have carefully placed in this factory? Is it the will of the Force that I should kill innocent people to halt production of the Empire?s war machines?

Brand said it would be a suicide mission. I didn?t hesitate to volunteer. If he had known that I am a Jedi, he would not have let me come.

They?re trying to hold on to the Jedi because of our connection to the Republic. They don?t understand that the Republic is dead, that there is no hope of resurrecting it. Brand?s rebels are harboring a small group of Purge survivors. I could join those Jedi, hiding away and hoping that the Empire will crumble under its own weight. I could hide myself and hope that I am never found. I could believe that HE won?t ever find me, even though I can feel him closing in, and the urge to run under the gaze of the predator has taken me to a dangerous place.

I escaped him once. It won?t happen again.

I can help the rebels, even if it is only by sacrificing myself so one of them might live to keep on fighting. And it is better to die this way ? on my own terms ? than to be murdered by a Sith. I have watched too many Jedi fall to the red blade. I have felt the heat of the Sith at my back. None of us can escape its blaze.

But I can still bite back. A grazing blow, no more. Enough to let the Emperor know that the rebels are here and are more capable than he estimates.

They know better than to believe that this will topple the Empire. It is one factory on one world. A large, important factory ? but still, only one.

Noth

 

*claims first post*

As I said before, this was AMAZING. Very well written, wonderful characters, and simply perfect. I love your OC.

VM

(That's my padawan!!!)

 

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Master. And I expect we'll be seeing more of Cynari eventually -- she keeps popping up with bunnies now!

 

Wonderful job, grand padawan! My ornery daughter told me to check this one out and I'm glad I did. A wonderful OC here, I really hope you'll do more stories with her!

 

Thank you, grand master! I'm flattered that you liked it.

I do have a couple more ideas for Cynari, and I'm trying to get a plot set down for one. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of her soon.

 

My name is Cyinari Willfire. I am a Jedi. And now I am free.


describe this fic, words cannot.

smilies CAN!



Skull cause i'm morbid

hugs 'cauze ur awsome

sad 'cauze people die

praying for her soul

 

Bravo! This is very well done!
The reflections on the blood and the color of blood are especially intriguing.

Of course this line was my favorite...
A cacophony of noises follows the wake of the explosion: metal grating against metal, permacrete crashing, all overlaying a constant rumble.

Explosions are hard to write and you wrote a good one. You also used one of my favorite words