Before " I was once a Jedi"

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Force-sensitiveLyn23, Sep 18, 2005.

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  1. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    OK well this is a story i worte by combining my other two stories which weren't turning out too well. It's just a random plot bunny. Feedback greatly appreciated. ( and by the way, the characters are mostly oc's. BUT PLEASE DONT LEAVE!!!)


    They were sitting in the council chambers, ready to be briefed on their first mission.
    //hey master are they going to come in any time soon?//asked Jessia through their bond.
    // no, probably not. But we'll hope//
    //This is boring//
    // Jessia!! Don't ever think that again//
    // sorry master//

    Finally, after another hour of waiting, the doors opened and the council members filed in.
    " Ready to be briefed, are you?" asked Yoda. They both replied yes.

    " You will be going to the planet Jabyia. There has been a lot of toxic released in that area and people are panicking. You must go there and try to keep peace. There is riots and looting. Try to avoid violence, and take NO lives. Your transport leaves in an hour. May the Force be with you"

    They walked to the transport and got in, unaware that they were making the biggest mistake of their lives.

    WHen they arrived in Jabyia, they saw immeaditly that it was not good. People were fighting in the streets over toxi- suits. Luckily the Jedi had already got them from the senate. The ground was smoky and it was obvious that there had been looting. Cautiously, Jessia and Master Kaden walked towards the mess. A frazzled looking woman met them.

    " Oh hello!! YOu must be the Jedi. Thanks you for coming. Did you, by any chance, bring any extra toxi suits??? "

    " Sorry, no"

    " Oh!! We were.. um.. really counting on those... "

    "sorry, we didnt think to ask the senate for extra"

    " Well, you might as well come and help"

    // the force is dark here master" //
    // i know, i sense it too//

    " well, come along"

    They walked along the street.

    " My only advice for you is to walk around and try to stop the looting"

    " Okay we'll try to do just that"

    They saw a group of people just ahead. about 15 or so heavily armed droids were attacking a family of twileks. " Come on padawan let's go help"

    They swung and slashed at the droids. It was hard. But the droids were no match for the two jedi. As they realized they would not win, they backed off.

    " Is any one hurt"

    " Yes, um, evryone"

    The rest of the day went like that. It was terrible, and they saw many deaths. Soon, they got news.

    " The young prince Jayyu is coming out from his palace to comfort the people!! "

    " make way for prince Jayyu. Make way, make way. "

    The prince came out on a sleep couch being held by several servants. " my people, never fear. The good prince Jayyu is here"

    "But the prince was terrible. He had several thousand suits, but he had kept them hidden so that the people could not have them He wanted them all to die."A woman next to the jedi whispered.

    Something in Jessia just snapped. She lunged herself at the prince and started slashing at the prince. She didn;t care about whether that was true or not. She just couldn'd stop thinking about all the dying people. And the prince had caused all this?? hE COULD HAVE SAVED PEOPLE??? Jessia screamed and continued attacking the prince. Then, with a sickening thud, his head fell off and hit the ground.

    Jessia screamed and took off running.



    Afraid of replies.
  2. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    please some one reply!!![face_plain]

    i'm just sitting here like a geek waiting....
  3. Souderwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2005
    star 6
    Reply, I have. Fear them, you should not! A promising plot bunny, this is. A good story, this may be. Keep up the good work, you should.

    Seriously, good job!

    If you interested in concrit, PM me. :)
  4. TRADMIC FanForce CR and President S.W.A.P FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2005
    star 5
    Keep going with it...you never know who is lurking...
  5. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    well here it is, post 2.



    Jessia ran as fast as she could but before she knew it, 20 heavily armed guards were behind her, knowing she could never defeat them (and besides, she didn't want to take anymore lives), she gave up and let them grab her.

    " You are under arrest by the name of galactic and jabyian law. You have the right to remain silent."

    " Wait, i'm a jedi. Please, contact the temple!! They have a right to.."

    " Fine, shut up you stupid JEDI"

    He exxagaretated the last word.

    They got into the police speeder and took off.

    " And to think that the sentate trusts these murderers with galactic affairs...." muttered a gaurd to himself.

    " Heyy master ky. help me."

    She stopped the speeder. " i am Jessia's legal.."

    " FINE GET IN!!!!!!!"

    They drove to a big building with Jabyia LAW Enforcement written across the top.

    " Well get out JEDI"

    They walked through a dingy corridor and activated a door. Inside was a row of cells. The gaurd took out a key and opened one. " You, get in" he said, pointing to Jessia. " You, wait here" He pointed to Master Kye.

    Jessia started to cry. what in force's sake was i thinking!! I'm so stupid. I don;t deserve to be a Jedi

    Jessia's sheilds weren;t up, so her master heard her every word.

    // Oh stop blubbering Jessia. And put your sithly sheilds up//

    jessia put up her shields.

    The rest of the day passed in stony silence. Every few seconds, Ky would send a nasty message to Jessia.

    Finally, she stood up. " I;m going to go see if they have contacted the temple yet."

    Jessia sat in the disgusting cell, all alone. She couldn't believe what she had done.

    The guard came back in. " You will be tried in front of your high council" He spat the last two words out.

    They took a transport back to Coruscant, electrocuffs on Jessia's wrists.

    She was absoulutly miserable.
  6. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    That was great! :D This is a really promising fic here, it's very intriguing :)

    I wonder what will happen with Jessica? :eek: Can't end good either way...

    Please update again soon ;) And I think it's awesome that you're characters are mostly OC's, sometimes it's more fun to learn about new characters ;)
  7. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1

    As soon as they reached the temple they were led in by guards.They walked towards the council room. When they got there, the whole council was already there, quite an accomplishment for them.

    "Jessica Marly Davias, you are to be tried in front of the court of the High Jedi Council for a most terrible crime, the murder of prince Jayyu. How do you plead"

    Jessia bit her lip and thought. She had no chance of being found innocent, there had been thousands of witnesses... " I plead guilty"

    " wise choice jedi

    Jessia wished that he would stop calling her that.

    Then Mace Windu spoke. " Jessica, you have commited a henious crime that i would never believe a jedi would commit. You have killed someone perfectly innocent for no reason. We, we always thought... " His voicce cracked very slightly " why Jessia why??. Well, anyway, this court is in recess so we can make our decisions."

    Jessia walked out of the room, knowing only one thing. She had to get to the fresher before it was all over the floor. ( her throw up). She ran.

    Back in the council chambers.......


    " Believe that of her, i cannot. But proof do they have"

    " We really only have one choice "

    " we have more than one!!"

    " think about it Windy."

    " oh,yes"

    " I guess... we have to do it"

    " who's being the one to tell her the news"

    Everybody looked at Mace.

    " Oh sith. Why do i always get the hard assignments...?"


    please someone reply!!!

  8. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    A very nice story you've got going here! I'll be looking forward to more posts! :D
  9. LissaJade Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2005
    star 1
    Interesting:)

    Can you PM my main user name, padawanlissa, when you update please? Thanks.

    ~LJ~
  10. KylieKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2005
    star 1
    hiya lyn r u going to update? This is good ya know. If u dont believe me just ask jazzie... lol.
  11. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    the next post will be up in exactly one hour!
  12. padawanlissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
    It's been more than an hour! I'm waiting.
  13. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    :_| sorry. I forgot about hebrew school.

    anyway, here it is.. dum dum dum... the post!!!


    " This court will now come to order" said Mace Windu nervously. " We have examined the evidence, and you, Jessica, are found" He paused " guilty. you will be expelled from the jedi order".

    Jessica froze. She had been expecting it, but still....


    " furthermore", mace continued weakly," we have also decided to", he paused again and looked uneasily at the other council members. " I'm sorry you will be.. ". But he couldn't say it. Master Yoda bit his lip " Force blinded you will be".He looked away.


    sprry for the extremely short post but i had to give you something!!!!!!
  14. padawanlissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
    Thank you:)
    Try to make your posts a bit longer please.
  15. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    next post!


    Jessica's mouth dropped open. Quickly she recovered and forced a laugh. " Ha ha nice joke Masters". But she knew it wasn't a joke. She bit her lip as she saw her master walk forwars with a pair of scizzors. She wouldn't cry she would keep her dignity. She would be brave even to the most embarresing moment.

    With a snipping sound, her braid fell off. Suddenly, she felt immeasurable pain. along with the braid, Her master had also cut off the training bond they had shared. Giving up, Jessica allowed one single sob to escape from her throat.

    The council members communicated through the bond that they all shared.

    //well lets force blind her already and put her out of her misery//
    // oh i'm sorry! //
    // wont that hurt her more?? //
    // did you see her face?? //
    // lets do it//

    She was force- blinded quickly by Yoda. As soon as he was done, she felt a most peculiar feeling. she had been expecting it of course, but it still made her feel sick to her stomach. She couldn't feel the force. She dropped her lightsaber on the ground next to Yoda's feet, bowed slightly, and rushed out of the room before the tears came on full force.

    The next day, dressed in civilian clothes, she went to her new home. The family thought that they were adopting her from an orphanage. They had no idea that she was once a jedi.

  16. padawanlissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
    So sad.:(

    Thanks for updating:)
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