Before I was once lost

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Tevase2, Mar 12, 2011.

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  1. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    The young Jedi walked through the streets of Coruscant. She was meant to be in the healers ward in the jedi temple, but she wanted to sit and think about that last few month's events without being disturbed by a healer or worse a council member. She knew she would be in some deep disallowed when the council found her to be missing, but she just wanted a bit of time to think. She emerged into a small square, it was damp and poorly lit but it was perfect. She walked over to a shabby looking bench and sat down with a sigh, she pulled out her sketch pad and started to draw what was left of her memory from the last few months. A cloaked figure walked onto the square and look in her direction, she look up curiously and said
    "I didn't sense you coming Mace"
    The man chuckled and pulled down his hood and smiled
    "Well i didn't plan for you too"
    "What i want to know is how you knew i would be here"
    "Alice, I have known you since you were a youngling"
    He said while sitting down beside her.
    "You know Mace, you know me better then Yoda himself"
    "Your right i do, but Master Yoda Knows more about you then you know about yourself"
    They were silent for a few moments, deep in thought.
    "Alice, nest time you "Go out" please inform me before you do"
    "Sorry Mace, i just needed time to think"
    "Well, shall we go back then"
    "I suppose"
    They two jedi stood up and walked back through the streets of Coruscant.

    I walked back into the temple with Mace (I know he means well, but he really had me pissed at the moment) as we walked through the halls he said
    "The council want to speak with you"
    Oh damn, I cant take much more of all this disallowed I thought to my self before I replied as calmly as I could.
    "Ok, what do they want to talk about"
    "Im not sure"
    I knew he was lying, he damn well did know what the old fools wanted to shout at me for and in sure he will take some part in it.

    We arrived at the council room shortly after that . As I walked into the room, I noticed that every eye in the room was on me.
    "Maters"
    "Knight Blu, we were expecting you"
    I hoped that my mind block had worked because what was going through my head would get me into a lot of trouble.
    "Your actions acceptable, they were not" Said Master Yoda "Stay in the healers ward you must"
    "Since the virus has gotten worse it would be best to stay in the sight and care of the healers" continued Master Plo Koon
    "Your Virus is getting critical Knight Blu, You must stay in care of the healers and stop disappearing when you feel fit" Said Master Rancisis in a smug tone
    That's when my temper snapped.
    "JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SENSE WHEN I SUPPOSIBLY DISAPPEAR " I shouted at the old fool
    Everyone in the room seemed taken back at my outburst, I was still glaring at Master Rancisis when Master Yoda finally spoke
    "Worse the virus has become, Go straight the to healers you must"
    With that I shot one more death glare at Master Rancisis and turned on my heel and stormed out the door. THOSE DAMNED HALF BRAINED STUPID OLD FOOLS, I muttered to my self as I made my way to the healers.
    THINK THEY CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO, I SHOULD SLAP DAMN RANCISI TO THE END OF TIME, THE OLD TWIT THINK'S HE KNOW'S EVERYTHING.
    I continued to mutter similar things as I made my way to the healers
    ????????????????????????????????????????????
    When I arrived I was led to a room with other beds but they were all empty
    "Yours is the end one Knight Blu"
    As I started walking over to my bed the healers said
    "we will start the medication tomorrow Morning"
    "Very well" I replied
    As I settled down to sleep the same things were running through my head.
    GREAT NOW IM STUCK IN THIS DAMN HELL HOLE FOR THE NEXT FEW HOURS ALL BECAUSE THOSE DAMN OLD FOOLS THOUGHT I WAS IN A BAD STATE WITH THE VIRUS I HAD. MOOD SWINGS THEY SAY, ANGER ISSUES, THERE ALL INSANE.
    With those thought I drifted onto a restless sleep.
    =====================================================================
    Yellow everyone
    i'm new at this so i would love if you gave me some advice on ho to improve.
    i hope the
  2. BottledUpInside Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2005
    star 3
    Hey! This is very interesting. What is this virus, and exactly what is it doing to Knight Blu? I look forward to finding out!

    A couple suggestions since you're new to the boards.

    - You might want to try and find a "master" or a beta reader. A master would help you find your way around the boards, possibly beta (which is basically proof read), and help you with your writing. A beta reader would help with your story, but wouldn't be responsible for answering your board questions.
    - You can find information on all of this (ei. how to find a master or a beta)on the FAQ in Fan Fiction Resource.
  3. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Thanks for the comment

    So do i just post the application form thingy on the board
  4. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    I woke up to the sound of someone softly talking, I Turned around in my bed to see two healers talking. When they realized I was awake they came over and started to explain what was going on
    "We will start some blood test's so we know what is actually wrong with you "
    "I have already told the council that all I have is a cold"
    The healer just gave me this smug look before she replied.
    "If what you do have is a cold then it is a pretty bad one"
    ??????????????????????????????
    I took 5 hours of testing before they gave up, by then I was extremely grumpy at every one. As far as I was concerned this was a waste of time, I was not sick and there was nothing wrong with me. But of course no one believed me.
    "There is nothing wrong me, So could you please let me go"
    "Knight Blu, you are under our care and under our care you will stay"
    I gave up trying to argue with them, I knew I couldn't get out of it so I just sat there and let them take my blood and run all the damn tests they wanted.
    Soon after they had run another blasted test a healer came back with a chart.
    "We can't find any type of virus but your mind is very stressed"
    I just sat here because I knew what was coming. The healer walked of and spoke into her comm unit. She came back with a small smile on her face.
    "Master Windu will speak with you"
    well that's just great I thought know im going to be lectured about how I need to sleep and all that rubish, I bet those damn healers were enjoying all this. Mace walked into the room with master Yoda. I knew what this was about they will either make me go to the mind healers or have me do meditation with Master Yoda.
    "Watch you we will"
    A small smile crept on to my face as he said this, I hadn't expected that they were just going to keep a close eye on me and make sure I eat.
    "Very well Master yoda"
    "Your being stupid Alice, You need to eat not to mention rest"
    WHAT ARE YOU MY MASTER,YOU CAN'T JUS...
    I was cut mid thought as he spoke again
    "And it would be best if you stayed in the temple"
    WHAT SO KNOW HE'S GROUNDING ME, HE HAS NO RIGHT
    "Very well Mace, Master yoda"
    I was left alone to think, it didn't do much just let me think of more horrible things to shout and scream at the council (it turned out I knew more swear words then I thought).
    After a while I decided I would go to the mess hall and grab myself some hot coffee.

    I was sitting in the mess hall sipping some coffee when someone sat down next to me, I didn't know him but I was sure I had seen him around the temple at some point.
    "Hello"
    "Hello, I'm Simla New and you are"
    "Alice Blu, its nice to meet you Simla"
    "Nice to meet you too" he said shaking my hand
    I smiled at him and took another sip from my coffee as he continued to talk.
    "I don't mean to be pushy but you seem to be troubled"
    "What makes you say that"
    "So you are"
    "you didn't answer my question"
    "It doesn't make a difference i already know what troubling you"
    I looked at him with a raised eyebrow as I replied.
    "Do you now and what would the reason be"
    "Your worried about something"
    I looked at him with a suspicious stare
    "And how do you know that"
    "Your body language tells it all"
    "Oh, I see"
    by the time we had finished the conversation I had drank all my coffee, I looked down at my empty cup before I continued talking.
    "Would you like some coffee"
    "Yeah sure, maybe we can continue this conversation"
    "I somehow doubt that will happen"
    ???????????????????????????
    We had finished our seventh cup of coffee each when the mess hall started to fill up.
    "I think I might go Simla"
    "Ok then, same time tomorrow"
    "It's a date then" I said with a huge grin on my face as I started to make my way towards the door. Just before I managed to walk out my comm unit went off
    ""Knight Blu""
    "Yes im here"
    ""The council wants to speak with you""
    NOT AGAIN, CAN'T THE FOOLS LEAVE ME IN PEACE.
    "yes im on my way"
    ???????????????????????????
    I walked into the council room, determined not to shout and scream at them, to take what comes. As I stepped inside I was hit by a wave of force, I was in shock for a few seconds and that when
  5. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    "You need to talk to some one"
    "Im talking to you aren't I'
    "Then tell me what's wrong"
    "Nothing's wrong"

    Mace looked at me with a amused smile. I hated when he did that, It just made my blood boil, why couldn't he just leave me alone so i could sort out the "problem" on my own.

    "Alice, either you can tell me willingly or i will get the healers to drug you so i can find out the easier way"
    "Drug me, i would like to see you try"
    He just looked at me with those annoying clam eyes, i turned on my heal and stomped out the council room.
    ...............................................................
    The afternoon sun was peaking out through the blinds in the small room, Mace Windu was talking to some one.

    "Something is bothering her, and the council needs to find out what that is"
    "She seems perfectly fine, a part from a few signs of stress she is perfectly healthy"
    "When she got back from her last mission something had changed, she was..... different, something happened, something changed her"
    "It might be best if we just let her tell us in time"
    "I don't think she will tell us by choice, she isn't the kind of person the crack so easily"
    "Very well, i will see if i can get anything out of her"

    The conversation ended with that and the person walked out of the room.

    BAND???BANG???.BAND???BANG
    "I TRUSTED YOU"
    I was banging on the door yelling at the top of my lungs. Mace had used Simla to get to me, how could I have been so foolish, I should have known that the nerfhearder would try something like this. Funnily enough I wasn't shouting at Simla I was shouting at Mace, I had told him to stay out of my business but no he had to push deeper.
    BANG???..BAND????.BANG
    The door slid open and there stood Mace, I was very pleased to see he was annoyed.
    "What is it Alice"
    "WHAT IS IT, IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY AFTER I TOLD YOU TO STOP"
    "Alice you need to calm down"
    "IM PERFECTLY CALM YOU MESSED UP FISH LICKER"
    He seemed to get angry after I said that, which was strange considering Mace never got angry.
    "When you came back from that mission you changed, the council tried to help but you refused and insisted that nothing was wrong, your confused Alice you need to tell us exacly what happened"
    I got even more angry then before, they didn't need to know what happened. I forced my self to try not to shout that would only prove their thoughts.

    "Nothing happened, it was a normal mission"
    "You're lying"
    I lost it, how dare he accuse me of lying.
    "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IM LYING MACE, IM SICK OF ALL THIS INNER CALM, NOT TO MENTION THE DAMN MEDITATING AND IM REALLY GLAD YOU BLIND FOOLS FINALLY NOTICED THE MOOD SWING, TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH. IM SICK OF IT. YOU KEEP TRYING TO PUSH INTO MY MIND, DO YOU KNOW HOW STRESSFULL THAT IS. YOUR JUST MAKING ME EVEN MORE INSANE THEN I ALREADY AM"
    Just then his comm unit went off.
    ""Master Windu, is knight blu with you""
    "Yes she is"
    ""You both need to report to the council room""
    "There is no way i'm going to see the council right now"
    "Alice, you need to go and talk to the coucil"
    "No, you want me to talk to the council"
  6. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    I was running down the halls of the temple, I planned to get as far away from Mace as I could before he went all master Yoda on me. I could sense him coming after me, the problem was where could I go where he wouldn't find me. I turned a corner and ran into Kit Fisto.
    "Hello Alice, the council are looking for you"
    "Hello Kit, could you do me a favour"
    "What is it"
    "If Mace ask's you where i am, tell him you don't know"
    "Ok then, but why"
    "It doesn't matter, i'll see you later"
    "Be then"
    Kit walked in the direction he was heading while i raced around another corner. I knew where I needed to go. The first place he would look would be the landing platform, so I just needed to stay away from there.
    =============================================================
    "Master Windu"
    "Hello Master Yoda"
    Mace was standing in front of the council, He hadn't managed to find Alice.
    "Find knight Blu, you did not"
    "No Master"
    Master Yoda sighed, he looked worried and tired. Alice's mind was in chaos, they needed to do something.
    "Left the temple she has not, need time she does"
    "Yes Master"
    Mace bowed to the council and walked out the council room. He needed to find Alice.
    =============================================================
    Alice was sitting in the library reading a bit of information on a planet called Dagobah. It wasn't that interesting considering she had read it thousands of times before. At the moment she was sitting one of the most excluded parts of the library. She loved reading, finding all the new information it was an excellent place to relax (well as far as she saw it). She decided to get something she hadn't read before. She stood up and started to flick through all the planets, She never got a chance to read one.
    Mace was looking for her, and he was getting close. Maybe she should just let him take her to see the council and then if they tried to push into her mind again just shout and swear at them.
    "Alice you really need to see the council"
    "I'm coming"
    He seemed surprised that I decided to see the council by choice. I didn't blame him, I could be pretty stubborn sometimes, but it was my best quality.
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