"I Was Wrong" - Obi Pre ANH

Hey everybody,

This marks the first time I've started a second fic while writing another. Hope you'll all enjoy what is to come.

Disclaimer: As of now, no spoilers (unless you haven't seen any of the Star Wars movies). GL owns all this stuff, I'm making no money from it. If you want, check my bio for my other stories. So, without further delay...



I Was Wrong

Following the last encounter with Anakin, I felt it important to try and figure out what it was that I had done wrong. How could I have failed with the one that my Master, and perhaps the rest of the council, had felt was indeed the Chosen One promised by the prophecy? Supposedly, he was to bring balance to the Force. And yet I, the one they had entrusted with his training, had allowed him to fall under the sway of the Dark Side. How had I not recognized the changes going on within him, one of the people I considered a close friend? How had I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, so utterly failed my Padawan, Anakin Skywalker?

I begin to wonder if I was ready to train Ani. Apparently the Council thought I was. But was defeating a Sith Lord in single combat really proof enough that I was ready to take on an apprentice. After all, just a few days before that, I was still a Padawan under Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. I had promised him, as he died in my arms, that I would train the boy. But was I ready for that responsibility? Apparently he had thought so. And the Council had seemed to share his faith in me, with one exception. Could Yoda have been right all along? Had it always been dangerous to train Anakin, simply because he hadn?t been discovered by the Jedi Order at a younger age?



Hope everybody who checks in is enjoying this, will post more when I can!


Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

This is very good work - keep it up!

 

Glad you're enjoying it, SRS. I'm glad to see that somebody was willing to respond to this already. Hope you'll keep reading!

Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

I like

 

So cool my friend! Ready for more! Patientally waiting.

 

Since it's new, I don't want to let it sink too far on the boards, so I felt it necessary to post the next part. Enjoy!


I recall my conversations with my Master about Anakin as clearly as if they had taken place yesterday. I remember Qui-Gon presenting the idea that Ani may indeed have been the Chosen One. ?He is too old,? I remember telling my Master. I also recall his determination to train the boy.

?I will do what I must,? he had said.

I also recall, in the middle of the Council chamber, Qui-Gon telling the twelve Council members that he would take Anakin as his Padawan. I remember how thrown aside I had felt. It was as though he were simply discarding me. I told the Council that I was ready to face the Trials, but I wasn?t sure myself that I was.

?I see you becoming a great Jedi Knight,? Qui-Gon told me later, after we had returned to Naboo. He also said that I was wiser than he was. And yet, I couldn?t save him. I could only watch as he was cut down by Darth Maul.

I wonder, could Anakin have somehow picked up on my feelings of guilt over the death of Qui-Gon Jinn? And what of his own thoughts? Qui-Gon had been his rock, the one who had given him the courage to leave his mother and pursue his dreams. Qui-Gon had promised Anakin that he would become a Jedi. And I had echoed him. Yet who was I, a newly knighted Padawan, to be making such a pronouncement?


Obi-Wan will continue to question himself, but should begin to work out some of these issues as the story progresses.

Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

Ohhh....Very nice! Don't worry it won't sink. It's to good for that. Keep it up my friend.

 

Hehehe - you have another patient reader.

UP!

-Little Jedi-
MTFBWY

 

*just found* WOW that was great...... I can't wait to read and find out how a very depressed and confusled Knight will deal with this. *smiles evily* Can't wait for next posty!

 

Little Jedi: Glad to see you're enjoying this, I'll try to get something up either today or tomorrow, before spring break.

Ganki: While I plan on having Obi-Wan resolve some of the issues, there are some that he cannot, on his own, resolve. Glad you're enjoying it!

Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

Okay, here's the next part!


I guess that I probably made the pronouncement because I wanted to reassure Anakin. After all, he had been hit hard by Qui-Gon?s death, just as I had. Perhaps not to the degree I had, but the fact remained that Qui-Gon?s death had shaken up his world. Perhaps I had made the statement to reassure myself that I was ready to train Anakin.

One of the other things that had always bothered me was the fact that Ani and I seemed to be polar opposites. I tend to be more rational, and try to look beyond the moment. Anakin doesn?t seem to look beyond the moment. He?s always looking for some new adventure, without thinking of the consequences. Yoda would probably say that he is reckless, but when I think back, I was probably no different when I trained under Yoda. I think one needs to spend a good deal of time with him in order to learn patience. Sometimes I think that?s why he is the way he is. The only way one can put up with him is to be patient.

But Anakin?s training has been different, just by the necessity of his situation. He?s more powerful than most JedI, and is constantly looking for challenges. One thing that he needs to learn, and something that I?m not sure I was ever able to quash in him, was his love of flying and his need for speed. And yet, on occasion, I can understand just where he is coming from. On Zonoma Sekot, I got the chance to experience a flight with him, to understand his need for it.

I wonder if the fact that Anakin lived for danger should have alerted me to something going a little wrong. Putting one?s life on the line shouldn?t be an all-consuming passion, yet it was the joy of Anakin?s life. And I wonder what might have happened if I had tried to stop him from doing such things. Could events have been worse than they already are?

This will probably be it before I go on Spring break, but you may want to check back in a week in case my alter-ego decides to post.

Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

*runs up to Obi-Wan and hugs him* It will be okay Obi-Kun! I am here for you. Please don't be sad. *sniff*

Obi-Wan: Can't....Breath...H-e-l-p!

Post soon ^_^

 

Very good Tych-sel.

 

Ganki: Glad to see you're enjoying it. As I said, I'm going to be counting on my readers to keep this thing up!

PROPHET: Glad to see you decided to give this one a shot. Hope you'll continue to follow and enjoy it.

Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

It's a great fic.

IMO, the mistake the Council made was allowing Obi-Wan to train Anakin. They should have insisted Yoda be his teacher. After all, Yoda proved -with Luke- that it was possible to train an older student who's extremely strong in the Force.

 

Very nice. UP!

 

I'm really liking this my friend. Up soon?

 

Sorry to have disappeared for so long, but I've been on vacation. Part of the next post is written, I'll be posting it when I finish it. Glad to see that everybody's liking this one, hope to have a new post up soon. 'Til then,

Force be with you,

Captain_Tych

 

TJM it looks like you brought the rant over from RRK's thread

 

Sorry to have made everybody wait so long for this, but the next post is finally done. I should be getting back to my usual form in a few days, it'll take me that long to get caught up on all the other fics I'm reading. But Once that's done, I should be able to get posting once more. So without further delay...

Somehow, I think that doing somethiong like that would have destroyed our bond, especially toward the beginning of the Master-Padawan relationship. Among the Jedi, it's almost unheard of for a Knight to take on an apprentice. Usually it is only the Masters who take on apprentices, just as it is usually only the Masters who sit on the Council. I guess that the mitigating factor in my situation must have been my defeat of Darth Maul. That's the only thing I can think of that would have let the Council try something so crazy as to entrust the training of the Chosen One to someone who had, mere days ago, been a Padawan. I would have liked to discuss this with Yoda, but he is in hiding on Dagobah. Just one more casualty of my flawed instruction of Anakin.

Even Ani's exposure to the other Masters in the Temple had been limited. I recall my own training, some of it even under Master Yoda. After all, not all of it had been with Qui-Gon. But this exposure to the other Masters, to other ways of seeing the Force, was something that was lacking in Anakin's training. Instead, he spent nearly all his time with me, just one of the thousand Jedi serving the Republic. What would have been different had his training been more like the others? What would it have been like if he had the oppotunity to study with Yoda, whose midichlorian count was surpassed only by Anakin's?


Hope you all enjoy it.

Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

Nice my friend! Very nice!

Can't wait till you're back to Tych_sel, this identity change is getting annoying!

 

more please

 

Well, you guys asked for more, so more I am providing. I'm glad everybody liked this, despite the fact that it is such a downer. I'm thinking of maybe having Obi tirn his thoughts to Padme next, so there might be something light coming. But before that, Obi has to truly look at the darkest part of all...


He was the Chosen One however, and everybody, with the exception of Yoda, seemed to have assumed that the balance that he would bring to the Force was a good thing. Only Yoda seemed to have seen something of the darkness that we now face. He said that the boy?s future was clouded, and didn?t agree with training him. Yet I was determined to fulfill my Master?s dying wish, to train Anakin. Who would have thought that I?d be training the one who would destroy all I hold dear?

Was Anakin, as I had told Qui-Gon, too old to become a Jedi? Or was Qui-Gon right in thinking that the age really didn?t have an effect on the training? I somehow tend to feel that it?s more toward the conservative side, my original thought, than the radical side that Qui-Gon embraced. I sometimes think that I was simply the wrong instructor for Anakin. While a good friend, Anakin was too impulsive for me. He took too many risks, and tended to embrace causes that may not have been his own. He was always seeking to be better than those around him, which invariably led to frustration. This frustration, if not correctly channeled, could turn to anger, and lead Anakin to the path that he now treads.

I believe that if Anakin had a more loose regimen, that if I had avoided constantly throwing the creed in his face, that he might have been able to avoid becoming the darksider that he is. Avoid becoming my own worst enemy. Avoid becoming more machine than man. Avoid becoming twisted and evil, just like the man he now calls ?Master?.

Hope this isn't too dark.

Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

No Obi- it's not your fault!

 

Well, as this post was being written, it kinda ended up turning into an ending. So it looks like this will be my shortest fic, but hopefully a somewhat memorable one. So without further delay, the last post of "I Was Wrong".

?Master,? I breathed. ?If only you had trained Anakin, perhaps he would still be a Jedi. Perhaps he wouldn?t have taken this disastrous path. You were always more carefree than I could have ever been. Perhaps Thracia was right. I have forgotten how to be a child. Perhaps I even thought that after being granted the status of Jedi Knight I wouldn?t have to learn anything more.? Was I ever wrong. Perhaps I did ignore what it was that Ani had to teach me.

I still find myself beginning to wonder. Has Anakin truly been killed? Has Darth Vader completely destroyed the young man who used to be one of my closest friends. And the children?what shall I tell his children when they grow up, should I be lucky enough to live that long? Should I tell them that their father was a Jedi, who fell to the Dark Side, and use Anakin?s experience as a warning? Or should I tell them that a young Jedi named Darth Vader killed Anakin Skywalker?

Or should I even involve myself? I returned to Tatooine, so that I could keep an eye on Luke. I also wanted to fulfill a request of Anakin?s, that I give Luke his father?s light saber when he was old enough. But do I have the right to try and train Luke, and risk creating yet another Sith Lord? I don?t know. Perhaps I should just begin his training, and let Yoda finish it. After all, I?ve been wrong before, and don?t know if I dare take a chance like that again?