If a giant Clown landed on a super giant Granny, how much damage would be caused?

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Everton, Dec 27, 2007.

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  1. Everton Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2003
    star 10
    Not only to the Granny, but to the surrounding environment? Which is made of mashed potato.
  2. FIVE-GIMER_RINGS Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2002
    star 4
    Are they REAL mashed potatoes, or instant?
  3. tom Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    the clown would be absorbed into the granny causing only minor stress cracks in the mashed potato world.
  4. hudzu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 1, 2003
    star 6
    this is an interesting question which can only be answered by science. i will consult science and report back my findings.
  5. Everton Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2003
    star 10
    REAL.

    An instant mashed potato world would be a hell like no other.
  6. darth_gersh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2005
    star 6
    [image=http://cache.defamer.com/images/thumbs/c50657a8dd95a47afba7602857144775.jpg]
  7. FIVE-GIMER_RINGS Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2002
    star 4
    OK, but I'll wait until Jacen gets back with the scientific data before making a final decision.
  8. roxez Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2007
    star 3
    To help Jacen...

    Velocity of the clown (and granny if granny was moving)?

    Mass of the clown, and the granny?

    Density of both the clown and granny?
  9. Wilderness_Comedian Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
  10. tom Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2004
    star 6
    the fact that it's a super giant granny and merely a giant clown is pretty much all you need to know.
  11. roxez Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2007
    star 3
    Not true.

    Paint flecks can bore through several layers of space shuttle windows based on relativistic speeds.

    Also why bullets are smaller than people but go really fast.
  12. George_Roper Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 1, 2005
    star 7
  13. Jedi_Reject_Jesse Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 26, 2004
    star 7
    I suspect 327 former child stars would vanish without a trace as a direct result of this collision.
  14. Wilderness_Comedian Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    What if it was the Granny from Facts of Life?
  15. FIVE-GIMER_RINGS Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2002
    star 4
    Before or after she lost all the weight?
  16. roxez Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2007
    star 3
    too many variables! how will the science answer it for us!? :p
  17. Darth_Vaderous Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2005
    star 5
    Where is this clown from?
  18. hudzu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 1, 2003
    star 6
    I have returned. With Science.

    I first bring you this color illustration to help better understand the nature of the question:
    [image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/master_jacen/clowngranny.jpg]

    Now, first we must understand the proportions of the objects at hand. Clowns, as you may know, come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There's tiny clowns, tall clowns, fat clowns, and all other sorts. However, there is no such thing as a regular sized clown. But, when you average out all of the clowns together, you get an average size of around five foot nine inches.

    Grannies on the other hand are a different thing entirely. Every granny ever is only five foot two in size. That IS the average for them.

    Next we must understand the natures of "giant" and "super giant". It is safe to surmise that giant means something roughly twice the size of the original object. Therefore, a giant Clown would be around 11 foot 8 inches. A super giant object would be double something that is giant sized. That means that a super giant Granny would be roughly 20 feet 8 inches. Nearly double the size of the clown.

    Now, we've exacted the sizes of the clown and granny, we must find out how far the clown has fallen from. Clowns are good at falling. It's their second favorite activity, next to being creepy. And their is no better place to fall from than from a high diving board. These diving boards are roughly 3 stories high, around 30 feet.

    So, a clown jumps from 30 feet, onto a 20 foot tall granny. However, the granny is not fully erect. She is of course sitting in her rocking chair, as all Grannies do. This makes her height roughly 16.5 feet. So the clown falls for 14.5 feet before impacting on granny. Since his mass has doubled accordingly with his size, this means he has achieved a velocity of roughly 27.8 miles per hour.

    Grannies are fragile beings, no doubt. However, since this is a super Granny, it has four times the muscle and bone mass of a regular granny, making it about as strong as an adult male. The clown impacts on the Grannies head at 27.8 miles per hour. Granny has a large head of curly hair, though, softening the impact slightly.

    Before we go any further, we must examine the nature of the landscape, the mashed potatoes. These are homemade mashed potatoes, so they are large and fluffy, but also somewhat heavy, and there may be one or two clumps in them. But because they are mashed potatoes, there is a small amount of butter on them. This makes them slightly more viscous. The nature of mashed potatoes is to flatten out and sink when something heavier than them touches them, because they are not just potatoes, but potatoes infused with air, to make them light and fluffy.

    So, granny and her rocking chair have already sunk slightly in the mashed potatoes, due to her large mass. When the clown hits her, it makes her sink roughly 3.8 feet more, but no more, because the rocking chair reduces her velocity, and creates drag, stopping her quickly. The clown rebounds off of granny, and flies roughly seven feet, landing head first into the mashed potatoes.

    Now for the damage.

    The clown suffers no injuries, because it is a freak of nature, and something to be feared. However, granny suffers from a broken hip, because she's a granny. The mashed potatoes are rendered uneatable due to cross-clowntamination. Those are the only effects though, because mashed potatoes provide a great force dampener, and prevented any disasters with horrible long term effects from happening, such as a tsunami or an earthquake.

    This is what Science has told me, and I believe it to be accurate.
  19. FIVE-GIMER_RINGS Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2002
    star 4
    I am impressed with your thorough analysis but offended by your use of the terms: "granny" and "fully erect" in the same sentence.
  20. hudzu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 1, 2003
    star 6
    well i was hesitant about saying that at first, but sometimes we have to do the hard thing
  21. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    [image=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y5/healerleona/granny.jpg]

    Granny would never even notice and the clown would drown in mashed potates, hence become moonshine as Granny makes it from the mashed potatoes.
  22. ObiWan506 Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2003
    star 7
    Now that's what I call a Nanny 911.
  23. Darth_Vaderous Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2005
    star 5

    Post of this young century!
  24. plo_koom Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2002
    star 5
    its you. you are the giant clon
  25. Everton Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2003
    star 10
    Jacen I thank you for your thoughts.
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